- Ulysses F. O'Harrison: The Russians, used to send each of their cosmonauts into space with a sawed-off shotgun. It wasn't for the protection against the aliens, nothing ridiculous like that. It was because, on their return to earth, if they landed off course, they'd have to hike hundreds of miles through the Siberian tundra, and they needed protection against the bears, and the wolves. When you land, Agent Morris, and you will, you won't be in the tundra, but if I were you, I too would carry protection. For where you're going, there'll be bears, and there'll be wolves.
- Meyer Offerman: We have trials ahead, a growing list of vermin, so... let us get to cooking these Nazi cunts.
- Biff Simpson: Leave it to the Jew to think only of its own pathetic existence.
- [now in German]
- Biff Simpson: You thought the war was over? No, dear. Only the dead know the end of war. We're here now. Everywhere.
- Helen Hirsch: [hyperventilating] We... we survived. And we'll survive again.
- Biff Simpson: You didn't survive. You marinated. I'm so glad I didn't gas you in the camps. This is so much more delicious.