Lucifer (TV Series)

Who's da New King of Hell? (2019)

Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lucifer Morningstar : Time for all good demons to go home.

• Chloe Decker , Mazikeen : Lucifer!

  Lucifer Morningstar : [Wakes up]  Am I dreaming? No, wait, I can't be; you're both dressed.

• Chloe Decker : So, um... it's all... totally gone? The red skin, the devil wings. No more flare-ups?

  Lucifer Morningstar : It's not hemorrhoids, Detective

• Amenadiel : I've made a decision about my son. And even though in my heart, I... I believe it's right, I know it's gonna be painful.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Oh. Right, that. Well, 79 percent of American boys are circumcised, so you'll be in the majority if you go that way; however, it does reduce sensation by about 32.8 percent, according to Dr. Oz.

• Linda Martin : Forgiving yourself. It's not as easy as you think. It doesn't happen overnight.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, if you were still my therapist, I might listen to you.

  Linda Martin : No, you wouldn't.

• Lucifer Morningstar : The demons in question are Dromos and Squee. Hardly the brightest bulbs in the hellfire chandelier.

  Mazikeen : I hate those two. Especially Squee.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, everyone hates Squee.

• Lucifer Morningstar : No way in Hell I'd ever return to, well, you know.

• Chloe Decker : You should probably head home, Lucifer. 'Cause no victim, no case.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, very well. I supposed there'll be another murder tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

• Eve : I needed to apologize for... for all of it, and everything I've put you through.

  [sniffles] 

  Eve : But I realize... I mean, you're not this perfect guy I made you out to be

  Lucifer Morningstar : You suck at apologies.

• Dromos : Hell has been really bad since you left.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, well, that's a shame, 'cause it was a real vacation destination before.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, enjoy your child. Have him ring me when he's old enough to go to strip clubs.

• Lucifer Morningstar : [Catching Dromos trying to feed Charlie tainted milk]  Surely you've heard, breast is best.

• Chloe Decker : Is there anything I need to know about how to fight a demon?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Not really. Just that they are super strong, scary and mean. Like Maze.

• Eve : The Mayan! That's it!

  Chloe Decker : Okay, it's a venue. Rents to concerts, and also, I think, church groups.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Sex, drugs, rock and roll and my dad. That sounds like the oxymoronic venue we're after.

• Dromos : You didn't write, you didn't call. You didn't even send a burnt offering. The-the demons of Hell?

  [whispering] 

  Dromos : They need a king.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Very well. Dromos of the Lilim, by the power of Grayskull, blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blah, I hereby name you King of Hell.

  [Does a vague knighting gezture] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : There you go. Throne's all yours.

• Chloe Decker : How do we find three demons and a baby?

  [a passing cop gives them a look] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Three Demons and a Baby. That's one of my favorite movies.

  [both chuckle awkwardly] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Not as good as the original, though.

• Chloe Decker : Kinley's vial? You kept that?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I didn't think it was something I could just toss down the drain. I was gonna chuck it out with my spent batteries.

• Lucifer Morningstar : The good news is, I think you're right. I think Amenadiel does have the child safe. The bad news is... I think it's my least-favorite place...

• Eve : I killed him... and-and-and then, I... kind of, sort of summoned a demon from Hell into his body?

  Lucifer Morningstar : What?

  Eve : It seemed like a good idea at the time.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Detective, I can't believe I'm saying this, but there are more important things than me right now.

• Dromos : What's so great about Earth anyway?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, no offense, but the company's far greater, the work more interesting, and the liquor far superior.

  [Takes a drink] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Mm! And I've just become an uncle and someone needs to teach my nephew about sex, 'cause, well, my brother's certainly not capable.

• Chloe Decker : I'm not afraid of you anymore.

  Lucifer Morningstar : You're not?

  Dromos : You see, this is what I'm talking about. It's so sweet, I'm gonna puke.