- Rick Twitler: I know everything about you.
- Captain Man: [scared] No you don't.
- Rick Twitler: Your name is Ray Manchester. You own a fake store above the Man Cave called Junk-N-Stuff. You tell people you're thirty-six when really you're...
- Captain Man: No...
- Rick Twitler: ...thirty-seven.
- Captain Man: NOOOO00OOOOO!
- Kris Hart: Your weird watch always starts beeping, and then suddenly you have to run off to work.
- Henry Hart: Sssss... it's not "alway" beeping.
- [watch starts beeping]
- Henry Hart: That's just bad timing.
- Kris Hart: Gimme the watch. You can have it back as soon as this puzzle is finished, and then you can go to work.
- Piper Hart: Don't forget his phone! He is always on that thing.
- Ray Manchester: [holding a dog] She loves to have her ears scratched.
- Jasper Dunlop: So does my mom.
- Ray Manchester: Don't make it weird, you guys.
- Kris Hart: Henry, we're been talking about you behind your back, and we've realized that sometimes...
- Jake Hart: ...you get three beeps on your watch, then you make a ridiculous excuse and leave the house for hours.
- Henry Hart: I don't make ridiculous excuses.
- Piper Hart: Oh, yeah? Remember when you said Jasper's waterbed was on fire?
- Kris Hart: Or that your teacher, Miss Shapen, needed you to give her ankle hair an "emergency trim?"
- Jake Hart: You saw a bird with a human face down the street.
- Piper Hart: You saw a human with a bird face UP the street.
- Henry Hart: Hey, uhhh, can we talk about this later? Please? Like when I get back from seeing Jasper in the beat-boxing competition?
- Piper Hart: Mmm, I thought it was a yodeling competition.
- Henry Hart: [darkly] It's both.
- Jake Hart: Not... today.