WandaVision (TV Mini Series)
Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience (2021)
Paul Bettany: Vision
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Vision : [after Wanda accidentally hits him in the head with a levitating plate] My wife and her flying saucers.
Wanda Maximoff : My husband and his indestructible head.
Vision : Aren't we a fine pair?
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Arthur Hart : You know, I owe my success to being a keen judge of character. No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?
Vision : I don't have a skeleton, sir.
Arthur Hart : Glad to hear it. Your future in this company depends on it.
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Wanda Maximoff : What do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orange juice, and black coffee?
Vision : I say, "Oh, I don't eat food."
Wanda Maximoff : Well, that explains the empty refrigerator.
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[last lines]
Vision : And they lived happily ever after.
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Wanda Maximoff : Who are those people?
Vision : What are you wearing?
Wanda Maximoff : Why are they here?
Vision : What are you wearing?
Wanda Maximoff : Well, it's our anniversary!
Vision : Our anniversary of what?
Wanda Maximoff : Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!
Vision : That, that man through there is my boss, Mr. Hart! And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart! The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!
Wanda Maximoff : You move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who needs to abbreviate?
Vision : Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, that stunning outfit...
Wanda Maximoff : Well...
Vision : I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now...
Wanda Maximoff : Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal.
Vision : Exactly.
Wanda Maximoff : Any chance they'd settle for a single chocolate-covered strawberry split three ways?
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Vision : [calling Wanda, with two different understandings of an important date] Listen, about tonight...
Wanda Maximoff : Don't worry, dear. I have everything under control.
Vision : Oh, well, that is a relief. I, uh, must confess, I'm really rather nervous.
Wanda Maximoff : Nervous? Whatever for?
Vision : Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied.
Wanda Maximoff : Vis, after all this time...
Vision : There's an awful lot riding on this one, Wanda. If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end.
Wanda Maximoff : Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic.
Vision : Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife.
Wanda Maximoff : And I think the best course of action is to impress the husband.
Vision : Well, wonderful. Glad to know we're both on the same page. Until tonight, then, my darling.
Wanda Maximoff : Until tonight.
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Wanda Maximoff : We are an unusual couple, you know?
Vision : Oh, I don't think that was ever in question.
Wanda Maximoff : What I mean is... we don't have an anniversary.
Vision : Huh.
Wanda Maximoff : Or a song. Or even wedding rings.
Vision : Well, we could remedy that. Today could be our anniversary.
Wanda Maximoff : Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?
Vision : Precisely. And our song could be?
Wanda Maximoff : "Yakkety Yak," naturally.
Vision : Naturally.
Wanda Maximoff : Hmm. And the rings?
Vision : Well, couldn't you make some for us?
[she does so]
Vision : I do. Do you?
Wanda Maximoff : Yes. I do.
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Vision : Is there something special about today?
Wanda Maximoff : Well, I know the apron is a bit much, dear, but I am doing my best to blend in.
Vision : No, no, there on the calendar. Someone's drawn a little heart right above today's date.
Wanda Maximoff : Oh, yes. The heart.
Vision : Hmm.
Wanda Maximoff : Well, don't tell me you have forgotten, Vis.
Vision : Forgotten? Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.
Wanda Maximoff : Well, then tell me what's so important about today's date.
Vision : [lost for words] What was the question again?
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Vision : I couldn't find the lobsters, and did you want the meat tender or pulverized?
Wanda Maximoff : Oh, dear.
Vision : [she heads to the kitchen] Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly. Anyone for Parcheesi?
Mrs. Hart : My-my... my head is spinning.
Vision : Oh, Mrs. Hart...
Arthur Hart : Did you hear that? My wife's head is spinning. Generally speaking, I don't like her head to do that.
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Wanda Maximoff : Oh, what was I supposed to do next? Oh, what was the main course again? It was... Steak... no. Steak... Steak...
[finding the right recipe card]
Wanda Maximoff : ...Diane!
Vision : Yes? Oh, I think that must be my wife summoning me.
Arthur Hart : She calls you Diane?
Vision : Yes, it's her pet name for me.
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Agnes : You didn't answer the back door.
[giving a pineapple to Wanda]
Agnes : For your upside-down cake.
[seeing the Harts]
Agnes : Oh! Hi, I...
Arthur Hart : [Wanda closes the door in her face] Who was that?
Wanda Maximoff : [simultaneously] A salesman!
Vision : Telegram. A man selling telegrams.
Wanda Maximoff : Wouldn't you know it? Good news is more expensive.
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Arthur Hart : So I said, "If we orient the forms horizontally rather than vertically, we can use twice the paper, we can bill twice the cost."
Vision : You truly are a pioneer! But the-the larger purpose of the forms is...
Arthur Hart : Was to analyze our input and our output.
Vision : Huh.
Arthur Hart : You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?
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Vision : How can I be of assistance?
Wanda Maximoff : Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop, so the steak is the last man standing. It says here I can cut down the prep time with a meat tenderizer.
Vision : Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?
Wanda Maximoff : [offering him the so-named kitchen tool] I'm looking at him.
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Mrs. Hart : So, where did you two move from? What brought you here? How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet?
Vision : [Wanda doesn't know what to say] I think what my wife means to say is that we-we... we moved from...
Wanda Maximoff : Yes, we moved from...
Vision : And we were married...
Wanda Maximoff : Yes, yes, we were married in...
Arthur Hart : Well? Moved from where? Married when?
Mrs. Hart : Now, patience, Arthur. They're setting up their story. Let them tell it.
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Vision : Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here, exactly? Do we make something?
Norm : No.
Vision : Right. Do we buy or sell something?
Norm : No and no.
Vision : Then what is the purpose of this company?
Norm : All I know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up 300%.
Vision : Yes, but what is it we're producing?
Norm : Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. You're like a walking computer.
Vision : What? I most certainly am not. I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, much like yourself, Norm.
Norm : Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled?
Vision : Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge. You see, it appears there's something special about today, special to Wanda, that's my wife, and gee, I can't, for the life of me, recall what it is.
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Arthur Hart : Wife and I are looking forward to tonight.
Vision : [connecting the dots] Mr. Hart! Of course! Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
Arthur Hart : Yes, that's what I just said. What's wrong with you, son? Have you got a screw loose?
Vision : Oh, no, sir.
[tapping his head]
Vision : Screws all tightened, sir.
Arthur Hart : Yes, I should hope so. Employee dinners are a rite of passage for the new hires.
Vision : Ah.
Arthur Hart : Jones over there failed miserably. Isn't that right, Jones?
Phil Jones : [leaving his office with a box of belongings] The wife thought five courses would be sufficient.
Arthur Hart : And there was that paltry excuse for entertainment.
Phil Jones : A string quartet?
Arthur Hart : And then you had that embarrassing display of beatnik enthusiasm.
Phil Jones : I wore a turtleneck.
Arthur Hart : Yes. Best of luck out there in the unemployment line, Jones.
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Vision : My wife and her flying saucers.
Wanda Maximoff : My husband and his indestructible head!
