Family Guy (TV Series)

You Can't Handle the Booth (2019)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin, Seth Green

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chris Griffin : Mr. MacFarlane, what are you doing here?

  Seth MacFarlane : I'm actually here to tell you there's no need to talk sense into Lois, or for a paternity test, or for anyone to leave the show because none of you are real. You're all TV characters voiced by me, Alex Borstein, Seth Green and Mila Kunis.

  Alex Borstein : Hey.

  Seth Green : Hey, what's up?

  Mila Kunis : Hi, everybody.

  Peter Griffin : Wait, what? Okay, ha-hang on a second. If I'm not real, then why does a fat nerd pretend to be me at every Comic-Con?

  Seth MacFarlane : Please, please don't mention him. It'll only encourage him.

• Seth MacFarlane : Wait, Seth Green, are you feeding yourself compliments now?

  Seth Green : Well, let's just hear Chris out.

• Chris Griffin : [to Brian]  Is that my bottle of water?

  Brian Griffin : Wh-What?

  Chris Griffin : That open bottle. Is that yours or mine?

  Brian Griffin : I-I don't know. Maybe yours?

  Chris Griffin : [yells]  This is why we need a Sharpie in here to put our names on our water!

  Brian Griffin : Geez, Chris. What the hell?

• Peter Griffin : [to Lois]  You slept with Philip Seymour Hoffman?

  Lois Griffin : [laughing]  I sure did. It was in his trailer during that tornado-chasing movie and all I know is nine months later, Chris is born.

  Chris Griffin : Yay! I'm a bastard!

• Chris Griffin : Um, Ms. Kunis, I would just like you to know that I have no problem with you breastfeeding in this booth. May I ask if you're still producing?

  Mila Kunis : Uh, I... uh, no, uh, Chris, I'm-I'm not uh, uh, producing.

  Chris Griffin : What about you, Miss Paulson? Are you producing?

  Sarah Paulson : I can see coming here was a mistake.

  Chris Griffin : Excuse me, Seth Green...

  Seth Green : Chris, I'm a man. I-I can't produce.

  Chris Griffin : Actually, I just wanted to say I enjoy your brillant work on "Robot Chicken."

• Stewie Griffin : Oh, right. This is where the fat man got stuck in the banister slats.

  Brian Griffin : Stewie, I'm gonna give you another crack at that because I believe what you meant to call them was baluster slats, not banister slats.

  Stewie Griffin : Banister, baluster. Same thing.

  Brian Griffin : [chuckles]  Stewie, banister and baluster are hardly the same things. A banister is the handrail that sits atop the upright supports. A baluster is the supporting structure itself.

  Sarah Paulson : Is this my water?

  Chris Griffin : No, it is not!

  Stewie Griffin : Brian, I've heard people say banister slats.

  Brian Griffin : Well, those people, like you, would be incorrect.

  Stewie Griffin : So the baluster is that big, round thing at the bottom of the stairs where the staircase begins?

  Brian Griffin : Big, round thing?

  [chuckles] 

  Brian Griffin : You're... you're just guessing stuff now. I believe what you're referring to is a newel post.