Family Guy (TV Series)
You Can't Handle the Booth (2019)
Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Alex Borstein, Fox-or-Disney Payroll
Photos
Quotes
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Chris Griffin : Mr. MacFarlane, what are you doing here?
Seth MacFarlane : I'm actually here to tell you there's no need to talk sense into Lois, or for a paternity test, or for anyone to leave the show because none of you are real. You're all TV characters voiced by me, Alex Borstein, Seth Green and Mila Kunis.
Alex Borstein : Hey.
Seth Green : Hey, what's up?
Mila Kunis : Hi, everybody.
Peter Griffin : Wait, what? Okay, ha-hang on a second. If I'm not real, then why does a fat nerd pretend to be me at every Comic-Con?
Seth MacFarlane : Please, please don't mention him. It'll only encourage him.
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Sarah Paulson : [to Peter and Lois] Oh, you guys are back just in time for my big role.
Lois Griffin : Hey, take it down a notch, Sarah. You don't even have an entry on the Family Guy wiki. Even Gronk's dad has one.
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Sarah Paulson : I also won an Emmy for my performance as Marcia Clark in "The People vs. O.J. Simpson."
Lois Griffin : You won an Emmy for wearing a wig.
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Sarah Paulson : So, Lois, what will you be wearing to the Emmys this year?
Lois Griffin : I think you know I won't be there.
Stewie Griffin : I won a surfboard at the Teen Choice Awards. I left it in the kitchen at work, hoping someone would take it. No one did.
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Brian Griffin : Have a seat, Sarah. Shall I explain what we're doing here?
Sarah Paulson : That's okay. It seems just like when I would do ADR for "American Horror Story" for which I have received five Emmy nominations.
Lois Griffin : Well, some of us have awards, some of us have children.
Sarah Paulson : What's that supposed to mean?
Lois Griffin : Well, I don't know. You're the smart award winner. You figure it out.
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Lois Griffin : Are there even any jokes in the song?
Peter Griffin : Do you not understand comedy? It's a reference. The joke is I'm singing it.
Lois Griffin : Sorry to break it to you, but that's not a joke.
Peter Griffin : Damn it. Now it's over. Thanks a lot, Lois. You completely ruined it.
Lois Griffin : You better not take that tone with me 'cause this has been one hell of a day. First, I find out you make four times what I do, then I find out you were married before? I mean, what else don't I know?
Peter Griffin : Well, if we're being honest, Lois, you're really bad at having sex when I'm drunk. It's like you don't even enjoy it.
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Sarah Paulson : This scene reminds me of the time I was being honored at the Kennedy Center.
Lois Griffin : Oh, baloney sandwich, Sarah! Baloney sandwich!
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Peter Griffin : [to Lois] You slept with Philip Seymour Hoffman?
Lois Griffin : [laughing] I sure did. It was in his trailer during that tornado-chasing movie and all I know is nine months later, Chris is born.
Chris Griffin : Yay! I'm a bastard!
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Peter Griffin : Lois, you can't leave the show.
Lois Griffin : [laughing] Oh, yeah. Why not?
Peter Griffin : Well, the captain of the Orville says that none of us are real. We're all cartoon characters.
Lois Griffin : Not real? What-what the hell are you talking about?
Alex Borstein : He's right, Lois. Uh, my name is Alex Borstein and I do your voice on the show.
Lois Griffin : Are you saying the rough-edged comedy manager from "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" does my voice?
[laughs]
Lois Griffin : I'm so honored. I love that show. You are hilarious.
Peter Griffin : Yeah, Seth Green already did this bit.
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Lois Griffin : [about Peter's song, "Halfway Down the Stairs"] What the hell is this?
Peter Griffin : I'll tell you what it is. An homage to a classing song from "The Muppet Show" sung by Kermit's nephew, Robin.
Lois Griffin : I guarantee nobody got that.
Sarah Paulson : I know this song!
Lois Griffin : Oh, shut up, Sarah!
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Lois Griffin : Well, from now on, Peter, I'm not going...
Sarah Paulson : Quiet! My character's talking!
Lois Griffin : Peter, I don't know how you...
Peter Griffin : I know. That right there was the main reason we split up.
