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Jimmy-42
Reviews
Il mondo di Yor (1983)
Please, we've had enough!
With movies like this, I wonder how no one thought to stop the
thing long before shooting wraps. Movies like Yor force me to
argue for a referee who can bring a halt to shooting a troubled
movie, much in the same way a referee saves a boxer in danger.
When would the ref have brought an end to things? Reb Brown's
first appearance might have ended it, or maybe the first papier- mache dinosaur would have brought the ref's arms up. Either
way, we would have been saved from 100 minutes or so of this
drag.
Wag the Dog (1997)
It was okay.
I had high hopes for this movie. It had a cast I respect, and came from the keyboard of a screenwriter I admire. The first half hour of the picture justified my hopes. The shot of Dustin Hoffman talking to the White House team from his tanning bed was very funny, as were the manufactured songs and the arguments about the color of the fake bomb victim's kitten.
Still, boredom crept in midway through and by the end I had trouble concentrating. The movie lacked tension, and as a substitute told jokes whose punch lines we'd already heard. Craig T. Nelson's character, who was meant to be the opposition, was nothing more than an occasional inconvenience who was certain to be conquered.
I liked the ending, (which I won't spoil), but I needed to feel that the stakes were higher. For the comedy to be entirely successful, it had to make me just a little nervous. This movie was just too comfortable and settled for the easy jokes. I voted a six, but I had gone in hoping for much more.
Fatal Error (1999)
Routinely bad
I didn't expect much from this TV movie. You have to set the bar lower than you would for midget limbo for any TBS movie starring Antonio Sabato Jr. Still, it managed to disappoint, failing even to be a good-bad film.
Every scene was by rote, as if someone had cut and pasted scenes from a dozen movies and tv shows dealing with big business conspiracies into the script, leaned back and said, "My work is done". It's all cliche, all predictable, and, even worse, the actors are forced to look like they're taking it seriously, (even when the plot developments are laughable).
Do yourself a favor. Watch "The X-Files" if you're in the mood for paranoia. They handle it better. Also, let anyone know that sitting through "Fatal Error" is just that.
Sirens (1994)
A Treat
It's great to see a film that deals with eroticism, not screwing, (I was planning to use another word). Eroticism is a thought process instead of a catalog of acts and its good to see a film that recognizes this. I appreciate the film's subtle approach to its subject. The film is not about sex as much as it is about the characters' evolving views and attitudes toward sex. Films rarely concentrate on ideas and theme. It's good to see a film that does that.
And, let's be clear, I don't mind seeing Tara Fitzgerald and Elle MacPhereson naked either.
Having gotten that out of the way, I should say that Fitzgerald and MacPhereson both give good performances, (whether naked or clothed). This was the first film where I saw Tara Fitzgerald, and her performance here was a big reason for my seeing, "The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain," and "Brassed Off". She's a fine actress who appears to have an eye for good scripts and a bright future ahead of her. Hugh Grant is his typical, foppish, endearing self and Sam Neill shows a worldy charm as the freethinking artist.
I don't get to write a favorable review too often, but "Sirens" seduced me. See it. You'll love it.
Damien: Omen II (1978)
It commits the sin of boredom
I didn't mind the first Omen picture. Despite the flaws in internal logic, (why is it that Satan can only kill the people who spill their guts about Damien after they've blabbed?). It's also worth watching Billie Whitelaw and Gregory Peck in damn near anything.
Damien: Omen II is a terrible drag by contrast. Every five minutes someone finds out that Damien is the Anti-Christ, then dies in some messy way. It takes William Holden's character an incredible amount of time to notice the corpses piling up around the teen ager, (during which we have to go through the irritating I'm Trying to Convince You scenes that are standard issue in these kinds of movies. They always end with something like, "If you don't do something, I will." The character uttering this line has to die, of course). By the time he gets religion it is so obviously too late that the ending is a fait accompli.
It would have been more interesting if they'd stuck to something the script gestured towards for a second. Damien finds out he's the Anti-Christ and that he's destined to do all sorts of horrible things and he runs screaming, terrified of what prophecy demands he become. It would have been an ironic twist if Damien were a good person who discovered that it was his ultimate, irresistible fate to be evil. That conflict could have had real drama and a meaning beyond the slaughter.
Instead, Damien went and committed the worst movie sin; the sin of boredom.
Pie in the Sky (1995)
The Film that launched a fruitless crush.
I had a great time with this well done, quirky film. My crush on Anne Heche started with her engaging performance in this piece. The crush is no more, but my admiration for the movie, (and Ms. Heche), remains. The film is sweet without becoming saccharine. I recommend it.
Ringmaster (1998)
I've seen better film on teeth.
I can't quite say that "Jerry Springer:Ringmaster" is the worst film I have ever seen. The film would be better off if it were, because at least the worst film I've ever seen, (Prom Night II) interested me enough for me to hate it. My only reaction after leaving the theatre happened when I looked up at the clock and discovered that only 90 minutes had passed. It had seemed much more like years. It is an endless repetition of poor people, (or what Jerry Springer seems to believe poor people are), screwing each other, hitting each other, insulting each other, and then repeating the process with the same attention to duty the rest of us use when shampooing. The plot, which covers how a group of stupid people mangle their lives badly enough to provide grist for the Jerry Springer mill, advances solely because of the idiocy of the characters. This makes it impossible to care what happens to them. It never mattered to me whether they got on the show, or what they said, or who slept with whom. Maybe I'm not supposed to care about them. Maybe I'm supposed to look at them as some kind of comic type-- to see their outrageous behavior as inherently funny. Too bad it isn't. The humor is not outrageous. It's innocuous. It's predictable. Humor has to have something behind it, some kind of painful irony or life experience, in order to function. Scatology is not wit. An example. A mother catches her daughter and her husband in bed. To take revenge she marches across the trailer park and gives oral sex to her daughter's boyfriend. Since I was over the shock of Jerry Springer's show a long time ago, I had the same reaction I had to Andrew Dice Clay's obscene nursery rhymes; not laughter, just yawning. Lastly, I found Springer's pose as a populist tiresome and unconvincing. If he really were an advocate of the poor, he would bring on a single mom from Bed-Sty to talk about trying to raise her kids in New York City on $12,000 a year. Or, failing that, he would at least give the participants of his shows a cut of his profits. Jerry Springer gets millions for his shows, his movie, his book and videos. His guests just get round trip air fare, hotel accommodations, and a chance to humiliate themselves. If he liked poor people so much, he'd give them at least some of the money they earn for him. It appears that Springer wanted to make this movie to grab some legitimacy for himself. Jeez, with all his fine work, you'd think he'd have earned our respect already. Anyway, the film is weak and boring. It doesn't even succeed at being offensive. If you want to have a better evening, videotape a bug zapper for a night and then watch that.