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Frankenström (2001)
Unfunny crap
Frankenström is pure crap! It might be funny for the makers of the film, but to others it is pure torture. I watched this with 5 of my friends and everyone hated it. Tedious "love" scene and unfunny dialogue doesn't really help.
1 out of 10
[ ½ star out of ***** ]
xXx (2002)
suXsuXsuX
Another sleeping pill from Rob Cohen and Vin Diesel. Fast and the Furious was awful and so is xXx too. Boring action and awful acting from entire cast. Even Samuel L. Jackson looked bored. Xander Cage is no Bond.
(2 out of 10 * out of *****)
2001: A Space Travesty (2000)
Horrible crap!
Words can't describe how bad this "comedy" is. Never has 90 minutes seemed so long! There isn't nothing good in this "movie".
I wonder did the production crew held a competition for "Celebrity Look-a-likes?" "The winner gets a chance to star in Leslie Nielsen's new movie!"
1 out of 10 (½ out of *****)
The Musketeer (2001)
Worst adaptation yet
"The Musketeer" is so bad, that even Disney´s 1993 version seem good. Ok, where to start...none of the characters were interesting, bad pacing etc.
Tim Roth´s character must be the most one dimensional bad guy I´ve ever seen, one of he´s line is like this: "I want to hurt someone" etc...
Catherine Deneuve, Tim Roth, Stephen Rea, what a lineup...but what a bad movie. Rea is totally wasted, having about 10 minutes of screen time.
Only good thing in this movie are the stunts, but almost all of them were in the trailer. The stunts were good, but the scenes were boring.
2 out of 10 (* out of *****)
Crazy Six (1997)
Yuck!
Crazy Six is torture, it must be Albert Pyun´s worst film. Even Blast and Ticker are better! I can´t believe how boring this film is! How this even got greenlighted? I saw this movie about 3 years ago and the only thing I remember is how bad it was. This isn´t good bad movie, it is simply bad, bad, bad, bad, bad movie.
1 out of 10 (½ out of *****)
Animal Factory (2000)
Mediocre prison drama
Steve Buscemi´s "Animal Factory" is mediocre. I haven´t seen Buscemi´s "Trees Lounge", so I can´t judge his directorial efforts. The movie runs on 90 minutes, but it still is slow moving. In the first 45 minutes nothing critical doesn´t really happen, but for the last half works much better. Acting is good and too bad the characters don´t evolve much during the movie, especially Edward Furlong´s character. "Animal factory" would have been better with little tweaking, too bad, because now it is only mediocre.
I give this movie 5 points out of 10 (**½ out of *****)
Wishcraft (2002)
So bad it makes other bad teen slasher "Cherry Falls" seem like a good movie...
Wishcraft is another bad teen horror movie. It has all the cliches and very, very bad climax. Sometimes seems like the movie tries to be funny, but the jokes...(argh!)
The main character gets a "wishing device" which is bull´s penis... and then he gets 3 wishes, which all seem to connect with the killer. What a plot!
I give "Wishcraft" 2 points out of 10 (* out of *****)
Ponterosa (2001)
Finnish crap.
Ponterosa is crap, nothing else. One of the worst finnish films ever made. When this movie was released in 2001 it got so bad reviews that it vanished from theatres. Seeing finnish celebrities "act"...is horrible. I give this movie 1 out of 10 (½ out of *****)
The Third Wheel (2002)
Should have stayed on the shelf.
"The Third Wheel" is boring and useless. I read that this movie was on shelf for some years and I don´t wonder. For example there are two incredibly stupid scenes: FIRST: Luke Wilson´s character throws a coin and it hits car´s windshield breaking it. Some coin. SECOND: The scene where Matt Damon has a cameo.
I give this movie 2 out of 10 (* out of *****).
Carabinieri si nasce (1985)
AARGH!
This film is simply the worst "comedy" I´ve ever seen! Bad acting, jokes and everything. Too bad this film isn´t good bad film, it´s just terrible. Sometimes I thught I was watching softcore porn film. There´s one scene where some woman agents are in shower and men poke their privates through holes which lead to the shower. That really makes the film more worse. I rate this movie 1 out of 10 (½ out of *****)
Double Take (2001)
Boring action comedy
(sigh) Double Team is another useless action comedy. This movie didn´t have a theatrical run in Finland and I don´t wonder. You can see one this kind of movies made straight to video. Orlando Jones has been much better in other movies. The movie wasn´t funny, except one scene. Total waste of time. (3 points out of 10, *½ out of *****)
Memento (2000)
Huge, huge, huge, HUGE disappointment
I have read so many positive reviews about Memento being great and surprising. First 60 minutes didn´t lure me into the story,I thought it was boring. After the 60 minutes, the plot became slighty interesting, but it was too late. The climax isn´t interesting, actually I wasn´t even interested how the movie would end.
The cast is excellent and it was one of the reasons, that kept me awake through this boring movie. I give MEMENTO 4 points out of 10 (** out of *****).
Desperate Target (1980)
Great crap.
Another "unknown" bad movie. This made in 1980 and it tries to be action /adventure movie. This movie almost has it all, bad dubbing, bad acting etc. I like movies which are so bad that they are so good. But in this case Desperate Target is boring at times and sometimes there are scenes that make you laugh. I would give this 2 out of 10 (* out of *****)
Akumulátor 1 (1994)
Entertaining
This movie was a surprise to me. It was entertaining and it was inventive. This movie should get more attention, too bad it hasn´t been released in many countries. I saw this at school and it was taped from tv. Most interesting in this movie is that it has strange name. When you see the opening credits, you can expect any movie. The credits have kinda scifi feel to it. The movie is partly scifi, but it has many other genre elements.
First the film starts with drama comedy feel to it and then it begins to have scifi elements. After the first 20 minutes, the movie starts to go forward at fast speed. Visually the movie is inventive, there are close-ups of teeth and heart etc. If this movie would be remade in Hollywood, I think Steven Spielberg would direct it. Because this is an european movie, you can expect anything. I rate this movie 8 out of 10 (**** out of *****)
Ticker (2001)
Pure junk
(sigh) Another bad film from Albert Pyun... I've seen "Blast" , "Mean Guns" , "Nemesis 3" , "Crazy Six" and "Post Mortem" before "Ticker" and I have to say that all of them are bad. It's shame to see Tom Sizemore and Dennis Hopper in this junk...
The plot is awful and the budget must have been small, because the police station looks incredibly small. Well... this movie is bad and I hope that it doesn't ruin Sizemore's and Hopper's career. Steven Seagal is lame as always, but I can't decide which is worser "The Patriot" or "Ticker". I'm glad that I didn't rent this...I watched it from Satellite channel.
* star out of *****
Zoolander (2001)
Disappointment...
When I see the trailer and spots of this movie, I thought it would be funny. I was wrong. Sure, the movie has some funny scenes, but there isn't much of them. I've seen the VH-1 spots and I think that the film doesn't have enough ideas like the spots have. Zoolander is quite entertaining, because of the good performances. Stiller is good as Zoolander and Wilson is excellent as Hansel. Will Ferrell is good also, but doesn't have enough screen time. Too bad that the movie isn't quite funny...
** out of *****
The Suburbans (1999)
Good idea...bad movie
The Suburbans has a good idea, but it doesn't lead to nowhere. Idea could have worked, but somehow the film is boring and unfunny. The script is lame, too bad, because it could have been funny... Acting is ok, but he roles are so badly written, that the actors have almost nothing to work with. This one of those movies that watch only once and after that you forget it.
** out of *****
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Total crap!
What a waste of time! Boring "action" and bad acting. All actors were horrible and the plot! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I have to say that I waited some crappy chase scenes, but there wasn't much of them in this movie. The chase scenes were boring and they tried to be flashy, but simply they sucked.
Fast and the Furious is a big movie with nothing inside in it. If you want to see car chases, see some other movie like Blues Brothers.
* out of *****
The Trouble with Harry (1955)
Boring and unfunny "black" comedy
This movie is one of the worst Hitchcock movies I've seen. It is boring and unfunny. Only good thing in this movie are the actors. Too bad this movie is so unfunny, because the plot could have made it funnier. But now "funny" scenes only include the characters burying, burying the body over and over again.
* out of *****
The Presidio (1988)
Lame action movie
The Presidio is boring film. It includes ok acting, but the plot is stupid and the finale action scene is stupid. The movie has sub-plots, but they lead to nowhere. There's not much action scenes, when they come, they're boring too common chase scenes. Simply awful film.
* out of *****
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
Well acted, otherwise very very boring
I was surprised how boring this movie was. It sounded good, but it was very boring. Coen brothers usually make good movies, Fargo and Barton Fink were good. This movie and Big Lebowski are just awful. But anyway, acting is very good in this movie, too bad that the movie is so boring. Cinematography is another good thing in this movie.
*½ out of ***** .
The Crew (2000)
Worthless junk
This "comedy" is awful. It is boring. Good actors making fools of themselves appearing in this awful movie. There was nothing funny in this movie. Jokes are awful and the plot is junk also... Avoid this movie at all costs. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. Depressing...
Autumn in New York (2000)
No chemistry between the lead actors
This film is boring and awful. I was annoyed at seeing older man falling in love with an younger women. Gere's character mentions many times that he's older, which makes me feel like the screenwriters tried to make the audience feel more acceptable for Gere's characters passion. There simply isn't any chemistry between Gere and Ryder and they both are miscast.
The film looks dull and cinematography is boring also.
* star out of *****
Ransom (1996)
Maybe the worst movie ever made
Where to start...I have to say that I hate this film. The plot would have worked, but the script is awful. The villains are idiots, for example, Gary Sinise's character still tries to get the ransom, even when Mel Gibson's character would not pay it. That's annoying... The performances are ok...but Gibson overacts and Rene Russo is only "hanging out" in the movie, she has horrible part;her character just seems to scream all the time. This movie gives me a headache, I know that there are certainly people who loves this movie, but I have to say that I hate this movie so much, even single frame of this movie gives me a headache. I haven't seen the original version, but I hope it is better.
Vercingétorix (2001)
Insomniacs, watch this!
Totally awful and boring movie. Visually it looks ok, but it doesn't help the movie. The plot is awful, acting is horrible and rest is awful too. For the last five minutes I slept. Worst movie I've seen that includes Caesar. Avoid this at all costs.