FairBear Reviews

The Last of the Mohicans (1992)

Dance, Dance, Dancd

[9/10 · 21 April 2009]

The controlled, never-tiring, graceful running of Hawkeye and Chingachook, and Uncas through stands of trees, strands of grass, and past burnt and savaged homesteads are as fulfilling as any movement in the opening scenes between the Jets and the Sharks in West Side Story.

The love between Hawkeye and Cora Monroe become as lyrical,if song-less, as the love between Tony and Maria in West Side Story.

The massacre choreographed by Magua is brilliantly stylized as any of the Jets/Sharks cutting dance at the school hop and the meeting of the gangs under the highway.

And the end love's loss to enemy hatreds and politics and posing is ritualized in a dance of death in "Mohicans" as in song in "West side Story."

The Princess Bride (1987)

The Princess Bride as a Litmus Test

[10/10 · 28 November 2007]

I sometimes ask people I know what they think of the "Princess Bride." Most say it was a great movie. Many say they could watch it on TV over-and-over. Some say their kids had seen it on TV reruns,and the kids liked it top-to-bottom - but they hadn't seen it. Some said it was a kids movie. Some said that they watched a little of it and turned to another program. Most did not see it on the big screen but cought it on TV. I hang with them if they loved it top-to-bottom, even better if they could quote some of the dialog. I hang with them if they hadn't seen it, or, even better, if their kids had seeen it (apple doesn't drop far from the tree). However, if they had the chance, then tuned it off, I drop them. They are twisted and dangerous people. If they say they saw it, but it is a kid's movie, I pity them: they have pudding heads and unformed hearts.

Tremors (1990)

Worms! Worms! Underground drag racing worms!

[8/10 · 21 February 2005]

Loved the movie. How could you not? It has two lovably bumbling buddies, Val and Earl, played to perfection by Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward. It has a remarkably funny gun crazed survivalist couple played completely straight-faced by Michael Gross and Reba McEntire. It has a wonderfully batty bunch of "townsfolk," a winsome heroine and bad lot of underground drag racing worms looking to eat the characters mentioned above. The movie stands out from the "trapped and pursued" genre because it contains tongue-in-cheek humor, comedic escapes, inspired foreshadowing of doom and nutty monster mayhem. This is a delightful B monster movie that would best be watched with fellow funny movie buffs, popcorn and beer.

Million Dollar Baby (2004)

god's tears

[10/10 · 17 February 2005]

Frankie went to mass every day for twenty-three years because of guilt he felt about Scrap's lost eye and an undisclosed wrong of his that led his daughter to disown him. Finally, god heard Frankie's plaint and shed a tear for Frankie in the form of Maggie, a muscular bundle of desire and single-minded devotion. Maggie reanimated Frankie. In their short, intense relationship she gave him everything he had lost: a daughter's love, a desire to win (not just to train) and the opportunity to open his heart to her and shed his guilt. At the end, I was not sure that the movie was more of a moving love story or a dark, deep-felt tragedy, just as I am not sure if lemon meringue pie is sweet to the tooth or sour on the tongue. Or both...

Deadwood (2004–2006)

Neither a Western, nor profane

[18 June 2004]

Watch ever episode to see Timothy Olyphant's white hot portrayal of Seth Bollock: soetimes hardware purveyor, lawman, and lover. Watch every episode to see Ian McShane's Al Swearingen: saloon owner, killer, politician, philosopher, and nascent human being. There is no better TV Western. There has been no better TV Western. Actually, this is not a Western. I have seen "Have Gun Will Travel", "Cisco Kid", "Maverick", " The Bounty Hunter", "Rawhide", and "Gunsmoke". They are TV Westerns. Deadwood is not. It is as Shakespearean History and Tragedy as written over by Michael Mann and Sam Pekinpah. On second thought it is profane.

The Last Castle (2001)

Maybe the producers of this movie should have been behind bars rather than the cast...

[12 November 2002]

I think this movie's story, plot, dialog, and casting are locked up in prison somewhere waiting to be released by a production team with the key to making a good prison movie. And, could that key be that the prisoners want to escape - not to take over?

Reversal of Fortune (1990)

I don't like the way he sings, but I like the way he talks...

[28 October 2002]

I watch this movie just to hear Jeremy Irons say his lines. I think someday I will make a recording of just his scenes and dialog. I am sure it would be much, much better less the annoying whining of Ron Silver and his hive of child law students and the deadning droning of Glenn Close. Obviously, I think Irons' performance is outstanding and good reason to view this otherwise tedious movie.

The Getaway (1972)

As good as it gets...

[9 September 2000]

I am amazed reading the review to date that hardly anyone realizes that this may be among the top 10 or 20 movies of all time! First: its a gritty movie and Ali McGraw in it is a gritty woman. Bony, all leggy angles and doe eyes and hard - like fashion models can be hard. And in love? Maybe..but more like desperately sexy and realizes that she has Doc and the chase (the dream) or a dentist, a Volvo and three kids with braces.

Second: its a man's movie and Steve McQueen's the man. Third: Al Letteri plays a thug that is Steve McQueen's (Doc McCoy's) alter ego. He is Steve without Steve's style. Got it! Third: Sally Strothers goes completely over the top. Is there a better scene in movies that where she is screaming in the hotel and Doc decks her? Forth: Is there a better throw-away scene in a movie than the one with Al Letteri in the bathroom with Sally Strother's hanged husband.

Fifth: Slim Pickins!

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Bad Doggies...

[15 January 2000]

This is a late entry. In short, I agree that it was a great movie with memorable dialog, better than could be expected visually stimulating scenes, and top-of-their-game actors, especially Michael Madsen and Tim Roth. The ear scene was superb: Michael Madsen dancing and cutting off the cop's ear with the physicality of an oral surgeon pulling a tooth, the cops laments, the unexpected killing shots from Mr. Orange... But the use of the word "nigger" and "jew," jarred unexpectedly. Oh well... For some reason this movie reminds me of an older movie, "Straight Time" starring Dustin Hoffman, except that "Straight Time" was humorless. Go figure...

The Sixth Sense (1999)

Slow...very...very..slow

[26 August 1999]

My wife and I saw this one together. I fell asleep about twenty minutes into it. I would have fallen asleep sooner, but I wanted to eat my fair share of our buttered popcorn. A few minutes before the end of the movie my wife woke me up with her scream, her fright spasm and a hurtful arm grab. At the end of the movie I thanked her for waking me because there were two more real scary scenes and a suprise twist of an ending. So. To summarize. Of the three segments of a movie: the beginning, the middle and the ending; this one had a real good ending.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Not much production money can be a curse

[14 August 1999]

...or a blessing. The movie had the strength of a good short story - everything in it was dedicated to achieving the emotional response at its conclusion. Nothing gratuitous in the way of overdone special effects, over-blown casting, or over-heated sex. All that was in the movie, was what was needed to get the job done: to scare the bejebbers out of us. I wonder if that would have been the case if the movie makers had been cursed with more production money?

8MM (1999)

Good Slimy characters

[7/10 · 11 March 1999]

Eddie Poole, Max California, Dino Velvet, Machine: there are not many movies with so many slimy characters so over-the-top. James Gandolfini's Eddie Poole is some mean puddle of sleaze, and he's just one of the boys. I recommend 8MM for everyone who feels that the characters in "True Romance" are simply Shakespearian; and Christopher Walken fans everywhere.