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Two and a Half Men: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie (2009)
Regarding Poor, Poor, Alan.
I am an ardent fan of "Two and a Half Men." I have seen every episode and have the first four seasons on DVD. This episode was very disturbing. It's not that it was not a good production; the episodes are always first-rate.
To begin with, at the "party" given for Alan (Jon Cryer,) nobody had anything nice to say about him, not even Charlie. Even the biggest cad -- Errol Flynn being a good example -- had redeeming qualities. Flynn loved to read and was fond of animals.
Secondly, when is love-starved Alan ever going to find his heart's desire? He was dumped by Judith (actually, no tragedy there,) Kandi, who Alan really loved, and now Melissa.* Alan is always portrayed as the quintessential loser, a flesh-and-blood Charlie Brown. It would be nice to see this intelligent and gentle man win every once in a while.
*I have to admit that with Melissa, it was Alan's fault.
London by Night (1937)
This is a tidy little diversion.
It is all too obvious after the first five minutes who the master criminal, "The Umbrella Man" is. Nevertheless, it is a charming, lighthearted mystery with some very good performances.
George Murphy (long before he became a U.S. senator from California,) plays the lead part, Michael Denis, with a great deal of charm and a large dose of tongue-in-cheek. Truth be told, our late U.S. senator was quite a handsome man.
A small side note: back in 1964 I worked at General Service Studios in Hollywood as a messenger. Among other shows that were filmed there was "The Beverly Hillbillies" starring Buddy Ebsen. Ebsen and Murphy were good friends. After Murphy won his U.S. senate seat, he visited Ebsen in his dressing room. There was some talk that Ebsen (who to me, at my lofty age of 18, seemed to be an insufferable snob) might run for office himself.
I had bicycled up to Ebsen's dressing room to deliver some mail. I misjudged the distance between the curb and the dressing room. I hit the curb straight on, knocking all the mail out of my basket. Just as I was maneuvering that very graceful slam, Sen. Murphy came walking out of the dressing room. I was a bit surprised to see that he was about my height. I was, and still am, at 5'9", far from a giant* "What seems to be the trouble, son?" asked the affable Murphy. "I dropped my mail, senator," I managed to mumble and stumble out. "Here, let me help you," said Murphy, whereby this dignified, handsome, and immaculately dressed United States senator got down on his hands and knees, and helped me shuffle the mail back into my basket.
I have been a life-long Democrat, but if I had been old enough to vote for Republican George Murphy, I certainly would have.
What a guy!
*other "cutesie" names (which I learned to despise) were, "squirt," "pipsqueak," "shorty," (which the school bully always called me) and my all time favorite, "shrimp boats."
By way of explanation of that last one, there was a very popular song being sung at that time called "Shrimp Boats are A-comin'"
King Creole (1958)
Elvis' Best Performance, But...
In "King Creole" The King gives probably what is his best performance, but the film itself is far from my favorite.
Whenever I feel the world is getting the better of me, I pop an Elvis film such as "Girls, Girls, Girls," "Fun in Acapulco," "Clambake," or my personal favorite, "Double Trouble" on my DVD player. These films are embarrassingly bad, but in a very harmless way. They are so far removed from reality that watching one of these light-hearted films takes my mind off of my sorrows and into a pleasant, tuneful world that never existed, and never will exist.
"King Creole," as good as it is, is high melodrama, and high melodrama is not where I like to see Elvis.
Then there is the presence of Walter Matthau. After seeing him in the many comedies he did in later years, it is very hard to take this extremely talented actor seriously. Although Matthau does a good job, knowledge of his comic abilities and watching his round-shouldered, slue-footed walk bring back memories not of the heel Maxie Fields that he plays in this film, but of the slovenly, sloppy, but lovable Oscar Madison in "The Odd Couple," and "The Odd Couple II." I give this pre-"Clambake" and pre-"Odd Couple" film an "A" for effort.
The photography by Russell Harlan is magnificent.
Four Star Playhouse: The Man on the Train (1953)
A Jolly Good Ghost Story
I first saw this segment of "Four Star Playhouse" when I was about nine years old. I had a slight fever and was watching it while lying on the living room couch while my mom, dad, and grandma sat in chairs beside me. "The Man on the Train" (NOT "Man on a Train")scared the willies out of me at the time, and each time I think of it, I STILL get the willies.
David Niven plays a London businessman who has an extremely eerie encounter with a stranger on a train (with apologies to Alfred Hitchcock.) No blood, no gore, just chills galore.
Daniel Cohen, in his superb book "Railway Ghosts and Highway Horrors" masterfully retells this story. Whether Cohen meant his tale to be taken as a true tale of terror, or one of fiction is a matter of conjecture, but whichever way it is taken, as a tale, a re-telling of a real incident, or a superb TV show, "The Man on the Train" has to be one the greatest ghost stories of all time.
The TV version is available on budget DVD, under the title "Four Star Playhouse, Volume One."
Creature with the Atom Brain (1955)
To This Day I Cannot Think of This Film Without Getting Scared Out of My Mind
I went to see this film with my cousin Stanley and my Aunt Priscilla when I was ten years old. The only reason I went to see it is because it was the second feature after "It Came From Beneath the Sea." I had always loved Ray Harryhausen-type monster movies, but I had a dread of seeing "Creature With the Atom Brain" right from the start. "Creature..." came on first, and I was so upset about what I was expecting to see that I put a handkerchief over my eyes so I wouldn't view the carnage. In the very first scene Karl Davis (as the first creature) lifts a gangster over his head and literally breaks him in two. I knew what was coming, but even with the handkerchief over my face,I had to close my eyes.
It didn't help when I heard the audience screaming in what can only be described as unbridled fear. I turned to Stanley and asked him, "What happened?" My cousin, who was usually a pretty nice fellow, seemed to get a great deal of enjoyment out of my discomfort, and he snickered, "he broke him in half." That did it for me. "I want to go home," I whimpered. Aunt Priscilla got went to a pay phone*, called my mother and my mother swung by and picked me up.
To this very day I have not even attempted to watch this film, although I have heard from many sources that it is not nearly as gruesome as I thought it was when I was ten years old. Even so, this is one film that I probably will never watch again.
*This was in the year 1955 B.C.P. (Before Cell Phones.)
Shadow on the Wall (1950)
What a Difference 56 years makes!
I first saw this film when I was about five years old. There were two things I remembered clearly. The first was Nancy Davis as the psychiatrist talking about the sketch of the Indian doll which little Gigi Perreau* had named "Cupid." At five years of age I assumed that "Cupid" was an Indian spirit that was menacing the girl. The second was the climax in which the little girl realized that her aunt, Ann Sothern, was the killer(I won't go into details for people who have not yet seen this film, but it's a stunner.) The latter scene practically scared me out of my diapers, as I thought that Sothern was not a human being, but a ghost of some kind.
I carried the memories of those two scenes with me for over fifty years. I finally got up the courage (yes, it took me that long)to buy the video online. As it turned out, SHADOW ON THE WALL was not a supernatural tale of menace, but a darn good little suspense story. It just shows you what tricks your memory can play on you.
Now, if I can just do the same thing with CREATURE WITH THE ATOM BRAIN...
*who I actually met in the mid-sixties, and did not seem to be any taller than she appeared in the movie.
Girls in the Night (1953)
A Sleeper
This is one of those films that few people have ever heard of. It is a shame, because GIRLS IN THE NIGHT, while not a masterpiece, is certainly an entertaining and well-made little film. Actually a film noir, GIRLS IN THE NIGHT tells the story of a young would-be hood, Chuck (Harvey Lembeck,) who is wrongly accused of robbery, and, if memory serves, also murder. Lembeck, (long before he became the comic biker "Erich Von Zipper" in those Beach Party movies) puts in a fine dramatic performance. The film is stolen, however, by Jaclynne Greene as Vera, a character in love with Chuck. Vera is nicknamed "Ugly" and photographed in harsh lighting to emphasize her street toughness. A good look at Greene, however, shows that she is far from ugly. She gives a credible, sensitive portrait of a wildly misunderstood woman
One more thing: The title of this film is misleading. From the name of the film one would think that this would be a cheaply-made story about B-girls. It is not. Rather, it is a tale of desperation, a tale of frustration about young people trapped in an environment that simply will not let them go
One Touch of Venus (1948)
Is a Puzzlement
I have seen this wonderful film again and again and it never fails to delight me. The photography, with its unusually deep blacks and whites, is as sensual as the lovely Ava Gardner herself.
There is one thing that puzzles me, however, and perhaps other reviewers might be able to help me on this one: in the cast Hugh Herbert is listed as playing Mercury. I own a video of this film, and nowhere do I see such a character. Am I missing something here, or do I just have an incomplete version of the film?
My Mother the Car (1965)
One of the writers
I was one of the writers for this series. I wrote one episode ("The Blabbermouth" was the title.) It is quite true that at the time the series was on the air, it was considered one of the worse sitcoms in the history of TV. However, over the years, MY MOTHER, THE CAR has achieved something of a cult status. It is broadcast every Mother's Day on TV Land.
I have always been proud of my contribution to this much-maligned and underrated series.