mpenman Reviews

Beer (1985)

It has aged pretty well

[5 December 1999]

I caught this when it first came out, and considered it a lame-ass attempt at Brooks-style humor.

Just rented it for a buck yesterday, and it actually turned out to be halfway funny. Just getting to see some old *real* beer commercials was worth a point, and Loretta Swit showing off her withered dugs via various plunging necklines gained it another. Dick Shawn and A.J. Mars are always great (especially that final "sensitive" commercial). And seeing David Alan Grier get in some practice for his later "In Living Color" bits was keen.

I give it 6 out of 10.

Payback (I) (1999)

A great throwback to the 40's

[30 November 1999]

About the only drawback was Gibson's annoying "romance" with the hooker. Having her get dead by the end would've made it so much better. Then Porter could've driven off into the night with the wounded dog.

Otherwise, this was a really fun noir.

I give it 7.5 out of 10.

Buffalo '66 (1998)

Gee, *somebody* went to film school!

[30 November 1999]

You really have to marvel at the chutzpa of a writer/director/actor who has another character glance over from an adjoining urinal and then comment admiringly on the size of his penis.

Take that as a metaphor for "Buffalo 66".

(Ms. Ricci looked wonderfully slutty, and is the only attraction -- even though her role is degrading and stupid.)

Burning Paradise (1994)

My all-time favorite period kung fu flick

[26 November 1999]

Nasty unrelenting action set in a prison that's itself a really creepy and important "character".

Top-notch wire work, good mix of fighting styles (including paint-fu!), and fine production values -- with the sore exception of some rubber weapons in the crowd scenes.

9 out of 10.

The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl (1993)

Beautifully-done documentary, long but thought-provoking.

[19 November 1999]

This film explores the boundaries between the artistic and the political (or, when does fiction have to pay for the reality it may help to create?).

Why is Leni Riefenstahl, who created propaganda for the murderous Hitler ("Olympia" -- which pioneered many of the techniques now cliche in sports camerawork and editing, and the notorious "Triumph of the Will"), despised and reviled while the work of Eisenstein and others who created propaganda for the murderous Stalin is lovingly taught in film schools? Well, maybe it was because Stalin was on the winning side of the war, according to Ms. Riefenstahl, a tough old broad who was apparently ecstatic about being interviewed. Up to a point.

This is a top-notch documentary. The cinematography is gorgeous. The probing questions are important. Riefenstahl is alternately combative, charming, evasive . . . and a whole lot of other things.

I give it a 9 of 10.

Sol Bianca (1990 Video)

Fine example of post-"Akira" Japanese animation

[19 November 1999]

My favorite scene in the movie takes place when one of the lady pirates dons a space suit, floats over to an artificial planetary ring, sets up a wicked-looking sniper rig, and starts raining down energy bolts on unfortunate bad guys several kilometers down, precipitating an exciting escape attempt.

Another was when one of the main characters explains to the ruler of the planet exactly why it is that they will not trade their ship for their lives. Very Japanese, but with a hint of Ayn Rand.

Really liked the gals. Nice production design as well. And the music added to the interest.

This first episode was great. I hope more will be forthcoming. (If the weak second installment did not doom the franchise!)

Righting Wrongs (1986)

Cynthia Rothrock's best film, and so much more!

[19 November 1999]

Her American flicks have been lackluster or worse, but under the direction of a top-notch fight choreographer (if I'm not mistaken, Biao Yuen himself was in charge) and editors who knew what they were doing, she looks wonderful. I'd nominate "RW" as having one of the two or three best chick fights that I've ever seen,

And Biao is way, way over the edge. The extended battles are fantastic (including one with a corpse used as a Jackie Chan-style prop), so I'll forgive him the dopey opening sequence.

This is GREAT HK noir! It really passes the "Joe Bob" test, if you know what I mean, and I know you do. Tranquil moments of sappiness lead directly to mayhem and nastiness. Always.

Attack (1956)

Another great Aldrich film

[19 November 1999]

Yet more proof that Jack Palance could really act!

His Joe Costa, a decent, tough, and honorable guy, is matched wonderfully by Eddie Albert as Costa's incompetent and sniveling commanding officer (a great portrayal of a weasel in action).

And any movie that has both Buddy Ebsen and Lee Marvin deserves a look.

Great cast, great dialog. Silly-looking "tank" mockups are the only drawback I can think of.

I rate it an 8 out of 10.

Born to Kill (1947)

Lawrence Tierney at his most homicidal.

[19 November 1999]

Remember Dougie from "Tough Guys Don't Dance"? Well here he is collecting scalps as a youngster.

One of my favorite noirs. Claire Trevor is excellent and hot as a sharpster/manipulator/etc., and Tierney REALLY looks like a nutcase fullback with a never-ending brutal streak.

(This would be an excellent choice for a porno remake. Lots of breathy two-character scenes and all . . .)

Happiness (1998)

The ultimate "Rolling Accumulator" film . . .

[18 November 1999]

. . . in the sense that every character's interaction with every other character poisons and damages the proceedings even further for everyone involved.

Don't consider this as a comedy or social commentary. Think more along the lines of a film noir like "Born to Kill", where the already damned get to dance with the almost-damned and the obliviously-damned and a few sorry innocents.

THEN look at it as at least a somewhat-comedy, and you might be up to speed.

Ronin (1998)

"Thinking man's" *what*? Huh?

[31 October 1999]

Did everyone else watch the same movie I did?

The first annoying thing was the repetition of and silly explanations for simple spy terminology. Jean Reno was s'posed to be an old pro, for example, but DeNiro had to lead him by the hand. Here, Reno was just being used as a stand-in for the dopes in the audience. "Ah, the Second Lesson" indeed!

Next up was the assault in Nice. Now, the team had belt-fed machine guns, anti-armor rockets, HK grenade launchers, etc. to play with, so why the heck didn't they take down their targets out in farm country? Then they would not have gotten numerous civilians killed, and the police would've been far off. Not much of a covert operation, eh?

Last thing I'll mention is the insulting bit about the teflon-coated bullet that thwarts a character's soft body armor. The substance does not in itself add to penetration in targets. It was used on the old KTW armor-piercing rounds because the projectiles were harder than normal lead or copper plated bullets, and it was thought that the teflon would cut down on wear of the gun's rifling and add a bit of useful velocity. Spritzing teflon on a normal bullet would not do much of anything at all. Might as well use PAM cooking spray. But it was undoubtedly calculated to sound good to 90 percent of the audience, reminding them of oft-repeated TV gun tech fables. (I'd bet the armorers winced when they heard that line.)

Rent "Heat" instead.