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burdenhand
Reviews
Coyote Ugly (2000)
my poor $8
Coyote Ugly is the worst film I've seen in some time. Perabo's acting consists of little more than biting her bottom lip and looking doe-eyed. Watching John Goodman play her father is both painful and embarrassing. And, for all the hype, the movie isn't very sexy at all. Girls twirl bottles and shake their asses....that's it. You ain't missing nothing.
American Psycho (2000)
Black Comedy at its finest
While rather violent, this movie epitomizes all that black comedy was meant to be. Bale gives a wonderful performance as a man with somewhat of a problem and he is backed with many great supporters. Also, I felt that Bateman's monologues concerning 80's Adult Contemporary music were priceless. I was waiting for his thoughts on Benny Mardones' "Into the Night" but was too engrossed in the film to miss them.
House on Haunted Hill (1999)
Come on!
POSSIBLE SPOILERS
For those of you who have seen this: Was that not the lamest climax in all of movie history? My God it was bad.
Anyway, the film does have some good creepiness to it, such as the disjointed movements of dead surgeons, but you won't be missing anything if you don't see it.
The Gods Must Be Crazy (1980)
pass it by
This film is little more than a failed attempt at cute social-satire. It does a moderately effective job of conveying its message, but its sad attempt at comedy is rather corrosive after a short period of time. And the comedic scenes that use speed up film are at times unbearable.
Phantasm (1979)
Sometimes interesting, sometimes awful
Phantasm is a must-see for any horror fan. Notice that I said horror fan, not movie fan. Anyway the movie has its share of bright spots, such as Angus Scrimm's great role as the Tall Man and Reggie Banister as, well, an ice cream man fighting supernatural forces. These qualities make for a campy horror film. However the film's potential is crushed when dwarves and extra-dimensional worlds are thrown into the mix. It would have been better as a contemporary gothic thriller. However it still is an interesting movie if you love horror.
Metropolis (1927)
good stuff
Any serious lover of film has no business not seeing this movie. It is one of Fritz Lang's finest. His masterpiece is full of arresting imagery. Especially the scene where the Grim Reaper statue comes alive. The film is great, even though it may come off as a 90 minute advertisement for communism. A wonderful movie.
American Pie (1999)
An awful trip back to high school
I went to see American Pie when it came out during the summer. Boy, I wish I hadn't. It took me right back to the place I didn't want to be:High School. It's not the bittersweet lamentation kind of high school movie. It's a movie that will make you think of all the jackasses you had to spend 180 days with year in and year out. Bad stuff. Rent "Election" instead.