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roclad6000
Reviews
Bound (1996)
Sweaty original intentions put to shame by a good film.
When I turned on this film I thought (being a red blooded straight male) oh yes - potential for a good lesbian scene, and I was right. However, I chose to continue watching the film after that scene had finished, (in hope of seeing some more action). I was then awe struck at the good quality of the acting - especially Joe. After the story line has twisted and turned like a sack of snakes and finally came to its climax (no pun) I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it as a film and not as a porn film. In fact by the end of it all I was thinking to myself that it would have been a much better film if the brothers had actually eased up on the hot scenes a bit. I left the film feeling uneasy though - I think that the money should have ended up with the person it did not end up with.... Ha ha if that makes sense... Poor Joe went through too much hassle !!!
Guest House Paradiso (1999)
Perhaps the most juvenile film I have ever seen
Guest House Paradiso was without doubt the worst film I have ever seen in my entire life. The humor could only appeal to a person of mental age 12 years or lower. All of the jokes were of the toilet humor genre and they became more and more tiresome and predictable as the film went on.
This film was meant to be a comedy and I did laugh - admittedly my laughter was at the poor quality of the acting, the poor quality of the jokes and humor, but what was the most amusing part of all was laughing at people who were laughing at the film.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Nothing more than an over hyped fantasy gore flop.
When I began to watch the film Texas chain saw massacre, I was building up inside me pictures of stories that I had heard from friends about girls on meat hooks etc. In fact, when I watched the film I got nothing more than a fat keg running around holding a smoking heap of bolts that was meant to pass as a frightening instrument of torture. It was about as scary as re-arranging my sock draw. There was no message or moral to the story it was just a load of you know what. I read another review of this film on this web site which states that "it makes you wake up to reality" - yeah like everyone goes round cutting each other up with chain saws... well actually more like: yeah sure after you watch it you wake up to the reality that all the hype you heard about it was a bunch of bull and there is nothing powerful or interesting about this film at all.
The Faculty (1998)
Very over rated by my friends, who after watching it a second time, decided that it was not that good after all.
I thought that the faculty was the most over-rated film of the century. It had good special effects and stuff like that but it lacked SO much depth. The message of :"yeah, everyone says drugs are bad but actually they save the world" Is the biggest load of TOSH !!! Utter Nonsence! What a great message to be sending out! If you take drugs you will be immune to alien attack !!!! Hahahahahahaha, what a JOKE! It is the kind of film that If I saw it late at night at the age of 12 I would think, Cool. Other than that I have nothing good to say about this film, except the performance from Wood was a slight savior. Sorry but for me it was a total let down and I defy anyone who says that this film is any good at all.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Adrenalin pumping, muscle throbbing, guns blazing action!!!
Cameron's Terminator 2 is a true masterpiece as action movies go. It has everything an action film must have, a hard as nails bad guy, a tough cookie goodie, someone to defend and someone to crack jokes. Some of the gunfights in the film are second to none and the simple yet classy remarks made by Arnie are cheesy yet extremely cool. The immortal line "ASTA LA VISTA BABY" will never die. Cameron certainly chose well when he casted Arnie for the part, he looks and sounds just like I would imagine a cyborg to, with a flat monotone voice but absolute truth in what he is saying. Some of the guns in the film make you want to go jumping around the room yelling boom boom boom, whilst holding your arms out as if you are holding anything from a pump action shotgun to a bazooka. And as for the bike and sunglasses, well, I am sure that the sales for Harly bikes and dark shades dramaticly rose just after this film came out. One of the best action films ever!!!
Zeruda no densetsu: Toki no okarina (1998)
The quest for peace and prosperity in the magical land of Hyrule.
This game, created by the incredible Shigeru Miyamoto, is by far and away the best game I have ever played. It provokes emotions and thoughts that many films totally fail to inspire. The game, as well as being mentally challenging, is physicaly difficult as well, with much practise needed to perfect the moves and complete the tasks necessary to finish the game.
The story follows Link, a young Kokori boy who recently has been having terrible nightmares. The Kokori folk are the people of the Kokori forest, a giant woodland area in this magical land. All of the Kokori folk retain their youthfulness. No matter when they are born, they always stay childlike. Each member of the Kokori people has his or her own guardian fairy to help them through their life struggles. Link however does not have a fairy and never has done. Then one day Link is visited by a fairy who tells him to visit the great Deku tree who is a giant tree possessed by the spirit of the wood who serves as the father of all the Kokori. The Deku tree knows of the nightmares and predicted them long ago. He reveals to Link that he is going to grow up as a hero and save Hyrule. He also reveals that Link is not actually a Kokori boy, he is in fact a Hyrulien (from the town of Hyrule) and that is why he never had a fairy.
After having left the forest Link goes to Hyrule town with his new found friend and guardian fairy called Navi, then on to Hyrule castle to meet princess Zelda as prophecised by the Deku tree. She tells him that she has been having the nightmares as well and she also a suspicion that a strange man who works for her father (the king) will try to overthrow the peaceful land of Hyrule and rule as a terrible dictator. And so the giant quest begins, (for it is truly giant) so great in fact that you mature to an adult before it ends. That however is for you to find out about. I do suggest that you play this game if you have an N64 and if you dont have one, I suggest that you buy one to play it. It has changed my life in more ways than on. My imagination took me to places I could never dream of before after I finished this game. I found it wholly satisfying and thought provoking also. If I could use four words to describe this game they would be: epic, enchanting, magical, and emotional. It is not a game but an experience.
Steeper & Deeper (1992)
One of the Greatest ski films...
Warren Miller's film steeper and deeper is a very good ski film that brings together the magic of skiing seen through the eyes of the tourist skier, and the thrill and excitement seen through the eyes of the expert or professional. The combination of "bloopers" by "not so good skiers" and the amazing technique, tricks and air time of the pros is a truly adrenalin pumping experience. This partnered with Warren's amusing comments and a great sound track make this film a great! I recommend it to anyone, skier or non.