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Reviews
River Wild (2023)
Good acting doesn't make up for a bad script.
Despite quality actors the script has the characters make really dumb choices. Several times someone stands by doing nothing when they could have easily helped the situation.
We know Brody is bad because he has face tattoos but nothing else about him is truly menacing. Not to mention his motivations are non-existent. Why is he doing any of this?
Additionally, the "wild river" rapids are way less intense than an amusement park water ride. In the inevitable raft tips over scene the rapids are slow moving and one of the characters is clawing for her life in still waters.
Watch The River Wild with Streep and Bacon instead.
Poseidon (2006)
Not worth the time or money
A not-so-good remake of a not-so-good original. The movie wastes no time getting to the action, which is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, we all want to see the wave flip the boat but it wouldn't have killed the director to invest more than 7 minutes establishing some character development. Each survivor is given about 1 line of dialogue to start so we can pretend to know them or care. One's gay, one's divorced, one's a jerk, one's in love, one's overprotective, one's carefree etc. But that isn't enough for us to give a hoot when some of them die. The dialogue is atrocious and the action jumps around from scene to scene to quickly that they must have cut some quieter moments in favor of non-stop action. And the action isn't really all the good or original. We've seen it all done before and we've seen it better. It's an OK movie if you just want to veg out and be mildly entertained but if you want to be emotionally drawn in as well, it's the wrong film.
Bride & Prejudice (2004)
One of the WORST movies of the year
This movie was atrocious. It must go down as one of the worst movies ever put to film. My friends and I were all looking forward to seeing it -- we wanted a Hollywood take on Bollywood -- but this movie was a joke. Not only was the acting bad (Naveen Andrews was fine but Martin Henderson was not) but the songs were long and ridiculous. I normally like musicals and I like Bollywood but the musical numbers were not organic to the film - they were forced and awkward. The black choir standing on bleachers on the beach is the epitome of stupidity in this film. It's almost as if the director and cast were laughing at the audience. If you take the film as a joke then maybe you would find it enjoyable, otherwise it is a complete and utter waste of time.
Troy (2004)
Incredibly epic, incredibly dull
Sadly, this film was very dull. I saw a sneak preview of it and the audience seemed to be divided, at the end some people clapped others mumbled how it was boring. In fact several people left half way through. The movie had some good special effects and a lot of the fight sequences were well executed but the characters had no connection. Each actor used their own speaking voice/accent except for Pitt who tried three different ones on separate ocassions. I never felt connected to any character nor did I care about the war. Some of the dialogue was really bad and literally had people laughing out loud during serious moments. I can't recommend this 3 hour bore.