marlowe_is_dead Reviews

Children of the Stones (1977)

May I Compare Thee To A Stone Circle?

[16 January 2005]

The music for this, which mainly consists of a choir of people singing wordless dischords, is certainly disquieting - especially as the music supervisor seemed to have the mic levels too high! The acting is really quite bad, especially by the child actors, but I thought this added to the charm of this eerie series, which I bought on DVD. Both my girlfriend and my former house-mate thought the series was scary and the music horrible. In fact, my girlfriend told me it gave her nightmares, and she is 20, and this was a children's show! Overall, a great slice of old British TV at its best - quirkily unusual and essentially 'English'.

Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

Charming

[6/10 · 16 January 2005]

For an unknown (to me) reason, when I saw this on British TV, it was called "A Night On The Town", a far inferior title than 'Adventures in Babysitting', although maybe they figured that parents would think this a children's movie...

Anyway, the movie itself is charming in that way that only 1980s US comedy films are. There is an air of innocence to the whole thing, before these more conscious and overtly cynical days that we know and hate now - maybe a reason why 1980s retro is all the rage now... that, and things are cyclical.

I thought the film WAS charming, although entirely far-fetched in its plot lines, although I think that was kind of the point. The characters, while not being very complicated, were warm and at least not entirely two-dimensional, and the little girl was quite cute and not extremely annoying as could have happened.

Overall, I'd recommend it to hounds who love to watch 80s films.

Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Enjoyable Murphy Flick

[8/10 · 8 December 2003]

i read through some of the negative reviews, and felt I had to add one for the positives. I am a fan of Eddie Murphy, and have noticed that many of his films have pretty poor ratings here on IMDB, including this one, which has a shockingly low rating.

I thought the film had very funny moments, and Murphy had a good rapport with his Ghoul. Also, the plotline was pretty interesting. I thought it worked very well, and I hope that the IMDB rating will improve.

Muppet Monster Adventure (2000 Video Game)

...cute

[8/10 · 18 October 2002]

This is a very cute game for the Playstation - very engaging, interesting levels, and not overly-difficult or easy. I recommend it for anyone who enjoys adventure games that don't involve running around shooting things.

Weapons of Mass Distraction (1997 TV Movie)

funny

[7/10 · 16 October 2002]

I liked the fact that this satire became more and more outlandish & soap opera-esque as it continued - reading one of the other user comments, it would appear not everyone got this...

7.5/10

A Is for Acid (2002 TV Movie)

Above average TV drama

[8/10 · 9 September 2002]

Based on the true story of the Acid Bath Murderer, John George Haigh, this TV drama stars Martin Clunes as the odd-looking, charming serial killer.

Normally I don't go in for TV dramas, but since this I have a passing interest in serial killers, I watched it -- I found it well scripted and well acted, with Clunes doing a good job -- at times he did bear a resemblance to the real Haigh (from old photographs I've see), and he brought a certain charm to his character, making his deceits all the more realistic, whilst his narrative voice contrasted this with a certain lack of emotion or inflection. Also, nicely paced.

The Phantom of the Opera (1998)

the phaaaaaantom of the opera is here

[31 August 2002]

if some of these reviewers, especially the Argento fans, had bothered to read Argento's mission statement with this film, then they would not have written the damning critiques they have.

and those who had seen Lloyd Webber's musical, good in its own terms as it is (i saw it in London in '86), and were expecting the same, well, of course they might not dig it ---

i'm pretty disappointed this has got an overall rating of 3.8

Just Good Friends (1983–1986)

another good comedy from john sullivan

[13 June 2002]

i saw this 19 years after it was first released. the BBC have started running it from the start, and i couldn't move after watching the World Cup on tv, and on this popped -- i remember being a kid when this was on, but didn't know anything about it -- anyways, the first episode got me suckered in with a reminiscing jerk of the emotions... i have seen about 7 episodes now, and the one liners can be great, the inter-action between the 2 leads is cute, and i'm interested to see the direction it will go :)

not as good as only fools and horses (sullivan's more renowned comedy series) but very good nonetheless... oh, and i really dig that theme song! ;)

The Evil Dead (1981)

summary of my comments: great comments, really well written ;)

[9/10 · 4 May 2002]

i obtained the uncut version of this film, and i don't know why it was remade -- the original is far superior than evil dead II -- apart from the strange play-do effects at the end, the effects were great for the budget - the demon/shemp(?) makeup was very good,, the blood was not tacky (and there was an abundance of it), and the acting just the right tone of facetious seriousness (bruce campbell was great as he progressed from '70s slasherflick actor to manic overzealous demonkiller.

one of the reasons that the film is so effective is this: even though we know that a hand is about to come through a door, or up through the ground, Raimi hits us with it a half-beat early, so we still jumps with surprise - he takes our expectation and uses it against us; i think that is one of the main reasons that this film is so well-loved

Hell of the Living Dead (1980)

not as bad as its reputation

[6/10 · 28 April 2002]

this film really isn't that bad - if it had been better visualised, and they had dumped the large amount of stock footage (yes, there is a vast quantity of it), then it would act as a goodish prequal to dawn of the dead, which could then continue where this film left off.

compared to other zombi/cannibal films, most of the lead characters aren't that obnoxious - i agree that there are some bizarre behavioural patterns; such as the lack of help towards people being zombicannibalised, SWAT member putting on a tutu and felt hat and dancing in the cellar (don't ask!); but the overall feel of the film is quite good. Uneven and inconsistent it may be, but then it is a cheap italian zombi flick from over 20 years ago!

one little gripe is the lack of really good effects until the last 10 or 15 minutes - gunshot-wound-to-the-head-FX are mostly bad or make-belief.

i give it a 6/10 (within the zombi film framework)

The Dummy (2000 Video)

terrible terrible terrible terrible

[1/10 · 14 April 2002]

this made-for-video crap is an embarassment. the acting is atrocious. the quality of film is amateur. the effects are lamentable. everything about this film is trash. there are low-budget horror films out there that use their lack of finance to be more creative and ingenious. this film is just a cheap slasher flick undeserving of any attention.

STEER CLEAR!

Interstate 84 (2000)

testing, 1 2, testing, 3 3

[8/10 · 3 February 2002]

i enjoyed this movie - the storyline, simple enough, unravelled satisfyingly at a nice easy pace; the acting was understatedly sincere, the characters authentic seeming. intelligent with a strong ending (so many films these days have terrible endings that ruin the rest of the picture). i would definitely recommend it if you seek an alternative to hollywood films or teen grunge horror flicks.

Beyond the Mat (1999)

fantastic documentary

[10/10 · 3 April 2001]

everything about this documentary is fantastic. it is emotionally charged almost the whole way thru. and sincere. i really don't know why vince mcmahon wants it banned, because after watching it, not only do i wish it were part of a series, but it will make the WWf viewing experience more intriguing. its three main foci were 53 year old "living legend" terry funk, the "insane" mick foley/mankind, and the late-80s early 90s wrestler jake "the snake" roberts.

great revelations are slipped in so understatedly as to make them seem almost trivial. "mick (foley) called to tell me that they were giving him the championship belt, but that he would lose it at a later pay-per-view, royal rumble". this was slipped in with no excitement. then we witnessed the event itself, focussing on the anguish of his wife and two kids sitting at ringside. and as he took immense and REAL punishment, their tears manifested themselves on my face.

another insight was shown as a person sitting in the "back-room" was feeding commentary to the "real" commentators sitting at ringside.

the documentary held more pain when it turned its attention on jake roberts, who now plays small-town cards, smokes, and is a crack-addict. i remember him from his high-times, and seeing him in this condition pierced my heart. and when his life story unravels, it turns grotesque. "my mom was 13 when she had me," he drawls. "that's cos my daddy raped her.....he was my mom's mom's (ie grandmother's) boyfriend..."

as i said, i wish that this were one in a series of exposes, for this is fascinating, and one of the best documentaries i have ever seen.

Bolt (1997)

fairly humourous yet contrived

[6/10 · 1 April 2001]

this is a pretty funny irish short, focusing on two characters. the first is a crossbow expert who is constantly having his car broken into. the second is the singer of a local group who gets stoned with his friends and has a voice that they deem outdated, and needs to be put thru a synthesizer --- yes, the plot is there to be seen if a person uses a little bit of thought.

well, after the ending has been predicted, it is a case of waiting for the prediction to come true.

some quite funny bits concerning a late-night garage (gas-station) queue, and a mad dash from the irish garda lightens the mood, but the ending is a little anti-climactic and boring.

Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. (1990)

a troma classic

[8/10 · 9 March 2001]

this film surpassed my expectations, that's for sure. most of the lead characters act with the right amount of straightness very reminiscent of frank drebin of police squad.

and the actual plot line is great. you might expect it to be handled completely silly and ridiculously, but really, it isn't! it is a movie you can submerge yourself into and forget about the outside world for a while. which is why it is a troma classic.

Hannibal (2001)

he he he

[8/10 · 28 February 2001]

this film is intelligently stylish (unlike a lot of modern films that think themselves cool and sassy). i prefer the tone of this film compared to the original silence of the lambs, although i preferred jodie foster to julianne moore.

there are a few good twists, and the locations are mainly impeccable. and of course, the final scenes feature a superb piece of special effects that truly made the audience feel nauseous to a person. made me laugh even while i cried to paraphrase that famous horror quote.

all in all, a thoroughly enjoyable movie.

WCW Monday Nitro (1995–2001)

hmmm

[26 February 2001]

watching this reminds me of the WWf when i watched it as a schoolboy: the arenas they use are pretty second-rate, even more so when compared to the magnificence of the modern WWf. the wrestlers themselves lack any charm or personality on the whole, and the whole thing comes off as backwater hicksville.

and it is also full of old WWf wrestlers who just can't make the grade in the WWf anymore, trying to become big fish in a little pond.

personally, i find the WWf more satisfying on every level than this trash.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

better than i expected

[7/10 · 24 February 2001]

i bought this in the budget department last week. i had halloween and halloween II already, and since i aim to collect every horror film ever, i chose this. after all, the 1st two were good.

this film is pretty intelligent to tell the truth. it seems to create the correct atmosphere, and has a nice "history of michael myers". it uses the old locations from the original, and the main character is the kid whom laurie strode babysat that fateful halloween in 1978...

the climax also is fairly satisfying. anyways, it is A LOT better than H20, which frankly, is absolute crap.

Redneck Zombies (1989 Video)

pretty funny

[6/10 · 24 February 2001]

i stayed up late to see this as part of a troma classic movie series. being in the UK, obviously the films are uncut. tonight will be chopper chicks in zombie town, and frankly, i am looking forward to it. but last week, it was the turn of redneck zombies to strut its stuff across my teevee.

the film is pretty funny. it is not so dumb as to make it boring, and does not take itself seriously (naturally). the characters are funny, the weird toxic trips ARE pretty trippy, and the film has a nice atmosphere.

overall, a nice romp thru the head of troma.

The Child (1977)

boring, then good

[6/10 · 24 February 2001]

the first fifty minutes of this harry novak distributed pic are pretty dull. there are flashes of promise, as parts of the story are revealed. but finally, the action starts, the zombies begin to attack the main characters (one male, one female of course). and then, it is the climax of night of the living dead revisited.

overall, i enjoyed this. but it had more potential than it delivered.

and the music was too overpowering. i would like to see a remake of this.

Oz (1997–2003)

fantastic series

[20 January 2001]

the first time i saw this show i was mesmerised. the acting, the storylines, the casting - all superb. whenever i watch it, i dread the ending, for i know that nothing else on is comparable to this (except for late night poker, which used to run before it here in britain)

i hope that they release the series on video - i will gladly pay money to have it as part of my collection

The Shining (1997)

shining 80 vs shining 97

[6/10 · 23 December 2000]

quite frankly, i am disturbed. after having posted my own comments on this film, i then went back to read other comments. that is why i am disturbed. so many people saying how super this mini-series was, and at the same claiming it to be far superior to the Kubrick version!

let us draw comparisons between the two. first we have the directors. 1980 version - Kubrick - perhaps the most consistently brilliant (and therefore misunderstood) director and cinematic visionary of the last half of the 20th century. 1997 version - Mick Garris, director of a number of other King adaptations and a few episodes of watered-down horror TV series. of course, he also wrote The Fly II and Critters II -- these hardly stand up against The Killing and Full Metal Jacket. Now we know that King wrote the teleplay himself, but frankly his involvement with the film industry has been rather more bitter than sweet. We all remember that terrible bad-film classic he directed Maximum Overdrive, and the screenplays for his films such as The Langoliers (another classic bad-film which i love) and Sleepwalkers. But it is funny how all the best adaptations of King's work were NOT adapted by King himself -- Stand By Me, Salems Lot, Carrie, The Dead Zone et al -- taken on by other people. and in recent years i have noticed his literary standard drop - pure opinion, but i am sure there are people who agree. the only two King books i have enjoyed from the 90s are Hearts in Atlantis and Insomnia. he has always had a chip on his shoulder from his college days when he wasn't taken serious, and it has manifested itself more and more as the years go by. and of course, why do almost all his lead characters have to be writers?? i know it is easiest to write what you know, but honestly after 25 years, it's getting a bit ridiculous. so when he wrote the teleplay twenty years after he wrote the book, his approach was different - always mistaking length for suspense. Kubrick of course contributed to the writing in more or less every film he directed, each one a masterpiece. he is completely OF film. he is the beethoven of film, making rhythmic, complex masterpieces, each one demanding multiple viewings. there are few of King's works which demand second reading. the irony is, The Shining was one of king's best, earliest, and re-readable works.

and of course, The Shining 1997 is 4 hours long. i read that this is so the story can breathe! the novel is one of King's short novels, and frankly, the story had stopped breathing far before the end -- it had expired. Kubrick's film relentlessly builds the tension over a short space of time -- brimming with iconographic images (blood slamming thru the elevator doors, danny's silent scream, the truly creepy twin girls, the photograph at the end, danny's cycling thru the corridors, the tracking shots thru the maze, the panoramic sweep at the beginning, the zoom into the typewriter --- FULL of memories). The Shining 1997? hmmm, let me see --- oh yeah! some geeky spectacled floating teen (reminiscent of a slightly bad teen TV series) called "tony"! don't make me laugh! and danny himself! a snot-nosed nasal cretin - i feel more compassion for a snail than him! and since this is a modern remake, mrs torrance had to have more "spunk" and more spirit. and weber? well ok, he's good at acting drunk, but i noticed him copying some of nicholson's mannerisms and facial expressions! A 2nd rate cast complete!

so when i read comments lauding The Shining 1997 and panning The Shining 1980, i truly find myself feeling disturbed. i know that society as a whole is being dumbed-down, but this? this is ridiculous! are we gonna see a lame remake of Taxi Driver The Miniseries hailed as a true masterpiece and the original deemed a "waste of space"??

when an unknown 2nd-rate horror director is hailed above stanley kubrick, that leaves a lot of room for disquieted meditation.

The Shining (1997)

thank god for kubrick, nicholson, et al

[6/10 · 21 December 2000]

well well well --- this is the perfect representation of king's latter-day "horror" novels, even tho it was one of his first -- too long, too boring, no suspense, occasional usage of actual horror elements. but man! trying to remake The Shining, even with King as teleplay-write!! **shiver** i only watched it hoping to see the topiary come to life as in the novel! i haven't made it that far yet!! :)

Hotel Anchovy (1934)

pretty funny

[7/10 · 22 November 2000]

i saw this as a filler before a Marx Bros. flick on turner classic movies. i enjoyed it, but i thought that the whole thing was too contrived. the marx brothers made everything flow naturally and without pause for thought. the ritz brothers however, had a thing about repeating funny faces and funny walks that made the whole show seem too amateur when compared to "a night at the opera", which came on afterwards.

i say this tho. i missed the beginning so didn't know the name. i used the imdb power search using the little data i had gathered (1930s comedy), and managed to track it down. neat.

Zombie Island Massacre (1984)

safe from zombies on this island

[2/10 · 19 November 2000]

my favorite kind of horror film is a zombie film. so i ordered ZOMBIE ISLAND MASSACRE from my local store, and when it arrived, my god i couldn't wait to watch it.

when the film ended and i awoke, i was bitterly disappointed. "where were the zombies?" i mused. "why does this have an 18 certificate?" (equivalent to an R or even an NR in the USA)

this film is a PG if ever i saw one. Labyrinth and Legend are scarier than this pile of rubbish.

if you want a good zombie flick i recommend either Dawn of the Dead or Zombie Flesh Eaters. Lots of Zombies, lots of Violence & Blood --- nice.