RElKO Reviews

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

Self-destructive

[5 April 2003]

A very strange film in the sense that its made up of some really great moments and also some disappointing ones. A number of ingredients from other films are thrown in (Duel, The Terminator) and particularly the daytime road chases and the police station scene is tense.

However the film is in my opinion almost destroyed by two of the most excruciatingly annoying and downright stupid lead characters (especially the sister, i hated her guts with a passion). The irritating brother and sister never stop bantering and bickering from start to finish to the point where i would probably have been glad if they bought it. Aside from that they also sported the most stupid behavior.

Realising how stupid it is to do something, only to do it anyway doesn't make it any better. The fact that the sister didn't believe what her brother saw, even after all they'd already been through, almost made me turn the movie off.

I had the feeling the second half was better than the first, even though riddled with cliche's (car out of gas, car not starting, cop not believing, the leads standing around watching and waiting while the killer does his work), to be honest maybe that was just because the two lead kids were just slightly less irritating than in the first half.

Salva however does prove he has a visual style that deserves a further career, but next time please much less cliche's and unsympathetic characters.

The Show (1996 Video)

Canyon steals "the show".

[22 August 2001]

With top production values, this porn flic is obviously a spoof of "The Larry Sanders show", a comedy show about what goes on on- and offscreen at a late night talkshow. In this movie the Garry Shandling part is taken care of by Steven St.Croix, and the movie deals with the pre-show preparations, as they prepare for the show featuring Christy Canyon as the main guest. Canyon plays herself (a porn actress), and comletely steals an otherwise mediocre movie. The porn itself is average at best, despite the mesmerising beauty of girls like Jenteal. The interrest turns up a notch when the hot Canyon turns up, and to me it remains an enormous loss to the porn industry that Christy has decided to stop ******** on-camera.

The Big Thrill (1989 Video)

Little shop of sex

[7/10 · 22 August 2001]

The "story" revolves around a barber shop where Joey Silvera and Porsche Lynn are the owners, and Nina Hartley, Sharon Kane, Tracy Adams are the barbers, with Peter North as Manuel, the hispanic help. Things are already humid. But when some spanish fly type substance is spilled in the coffee, things really start heating up. Once the effect kicks in, the shop becomes wall to wall sex. It gets going pretty fast, and then there's almost non stop action, with the stunningly gorgeous Nina Hartley, Tracy Adams, and Sharon Kane at the height of their careers.

The Adventures of Buttman (1989 Video)

A classic. The one that started it all.

[8/10 · 6 August 2000]

The one that started the now famous "gonzo" pornmovie style. John Stagliano's adventures as seen through his own eyes. In all follow ups and rip-offs this idea is changed into the camera being a real camera and the man/woman behind it actually being part of the story. Although most of the sex takes place in the dark, it's pretty hot. Not strange seeing the fact it's got stars like Jamie Gillis and Tianna in it. A classic in the genre.

An American Buttman in London (1991 Video)

Buttman at his best.

[8/10 · 6 August 2000]

Buttman strikes again. This time taking his camera to London, England, and "picking up" some of the local babes, persuading them to frolic around in front of his camera. Although, off course it's ridiculous how easy some of the girls pretend to come along with Johnny Stagliano, it has the usual fun in doing so. The girls, thankfully, look like the best pornstars should, as the girls from nextdoor. Instead of pumped up supermodels with fake body parts. The acting seems "real", as if the ladies were actual street walkers picked up, and the sex is blazing hot in most of the scenes, especially the ones with the Italian stallion, Rocco Siffredi. A must see for Gonzo fans.

Bad Wives (1997 Video)

Without Dyanna it would have been better.

[5/10 · 6 August 2000]

A bit overrated pornmovie of nearly 2,5 hours(!) about a mysterious man (Steven St.Croix) entering the lives of "obediant" housewives played by Dyanna Lauren and Melissa Hill. His influence soon turns them into strong willed vamps not settling for less than they feel they deserve with their bored husbands (Tony Tedeschi and Jon Dough). It has some strange scenes and Dyanna Lauren, which diminish the movie a great deal. But Dyanna, bless her heart, does a good scene, and Melissa saves the movie from mediocrity with her innocent and charming yet very erotic looks.

Babyface 2 (1986)

80s classic highlights all out orgy.

[8/10 · 6 August 2000]

Another classic from the 80s like they can't seem to make now. Loads of top pornstars in this movie about a couple engaged to be married. Both the woman and man have their last taste of "freedom", as the guys hang around and the girls wanna throw their engaged friend a shower party. They hire the nasty looking Jamie Gillis as a male stripper, not knowing he turns out to be some kind of sex demon, hypnotising the party guests into an all out orgy. When the guys finally stumble in they wouldn't know any reason not to take part. Careena Collins, Lois Ayres, Taija Rae and Candy Evans are their usual lust inducing selves and Jamie Gillis proves again he is one of the few real actors in the porn industry.

Bare Market (1993 Video)

Nicole carries the movie.

[7/10 · 6 August 2000]

This is an almost great movie (as far as porn goes) because it has a build up that most pornmovies usually don't have. It presents Nicole London in the lead, and wisely builds up her eagerness and lust as the movie progresses. She plays a "frigid" wife who's lady friends P.J. Sparxxx and Alex Jordan can't seem to get enough of sex, and try to persuade her to let go of her inhabitions, despite the fact she's married. The good thing about the movie is that Nicole does a good job in coming across as a timid lady, that, when broken willpower wise, let's go in a big way. Nicole London may not be one of the most attractive ladies in porn, but her charisma and raw lust appearance make the screen light up.

American Garter (1993 Video)

Seka almost ruining her own legend.

[3/10 · 6 August 2000]

When you look at a pornmovie from between 1990 and 1995 you know you're going to be bored. The once so delicious Seka has shamelessly let herself go physically and moves through the the movie, and the scenes like a slow juggernaut, only exhuming non-interest in what she does. This movie by the way is about the time the nylon pantyhose was invented. Only saving grace, although also disappointing, is Selena Steele.

The Exorcist III (1990)

Forget the Heretic, this is the sequel.

[7/10 · 30 July 2000]

*Possible spoilers ahead*.

When you've seen the Exorcist II, you'd probably think this would try and ruin the idea and story behind the original even more. To my pleasant surprise this movie turned out to be the movie Part II should have been.

A serial killer is on the loose in Georgetown, killing his victims in excruciatingly unpleasant manners. He seems bent on making his victims suffer long and painful death. Dt. Kinderman (played by Lee J. Cobb in the original, played here by George C. Scott) investigates and finds out this may be the exact same killer that ran rampant during the time of the first exorcism.

Although almost no gore visible in this, at times, extremely suspenseful thriller, the murders, and the way executed, are described to you in horrific detail, making you cringe in seat. Hearing this, you'll be thankful it wasn't shown in full technicolor (unless you're a sick mind). The scenes with the murders are tense, with photography, editing and sound effects that create an effectively eerie and unpleasant atmosphere. For example, the scene in the mental hospital, in which the camera holds still as it watches a nurse work, has you relaxing for nearly five minutes, before...

As mentioned, the photography, editing and sound effects are wonderful, but so is the acting. The screenplay is full with moments that will creep you out, as well as intelligent and sometimes very funny dialogue, which is no surprise, as writer of The Exorcist, William Peter Blatty, wrote the screenplay after his own novel and also directed this movie.

My only complaint is the second half of the movie, where the suspense and the pace of the movie almost comes to a screeching halt with Kinderman having to much dialogue exchange with the "possessed psychopath" in a dark, murky cell. And i won't even mention the ridiculous ending.

They had a really good thing going for an hour, had they maintained that level of suspense and quality, they would have had a movie very close to being a worthy sequel.

Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

Well, just like the title says.

[7/10 · 30 July 2000]

A babysitter has to look after some kids, is called up by a friend in need, drives with the kids to pick her up, gets a flat tire, and thus stumbles into a nightly adventure in the big city.

If this would actually happen, especially in today's society, you could imagine a lot of awful things waiting to happen to them. However this is obvious a family movie, so all the adventure is mild mannered and, well, fun...

Just set your mind to zero, expect harmless entertainment to kill some time, and watch it. It's not that bad. It's a bit like a comic book (actually, Thor-fans will like this movie even more).

Elizabeth Shue is dependable, the kids are less obnoxious than you would expect, and there are some nice supporting roles.

After Hours (I) (1985)

Dark, and NOT funny comedy.

[7/10 · 30 July 2000]

First things first, Martin Scorcese is one of the best director of this era, as you can see again in this movie, great shots, fantastic editing, fast photography and eccentric (or downright crazy) people.

There's one problem with this movie: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A COMEDY.

Let's face it, even if it were a black comedy, isn't it supposed to be funny?

*possible spoilers ahead*.

A guy gets way from home, and spends the rest of the night trying to get home. Asking people he meets along the way for a little help. What he gets is hispanic thieves, people accusing him for those thefts, a master and slave couple of s.m. fanatics, a horrible depressed suicidal woman, a neurotic woman nearly forcing herself to him using emotional blackmail, a strange icecream truckdriving lady who thinks it's funny not allowing this stressed out guy to make ONE phonecall. And more of these "creatures".

At the end of the movie the main character has been made fun of, blackmailed, accused of theft and breakin and entering, near-witness of a suicide, intimidated, and even covered in paper mache. And there have been so many strange people (in a negative way) and so much depressing or enraging behaviour you feel almost as frustrated as the main character, And you won't feel like laughing.

At least I didn't.

The Exorcist (1973)

The devil made me do it.

[10/10 · 29 July 2000]

I can just imagine how this film was the scariest film ever seen when it first came out. Imagine, in 1973 a movie coming out about a 12 year old sweet little girl who is gradually becoming possessed by the devil, and starts spitting out the most vile and embarrassing profanities, that would even have the average movieaudience turning red now. A priest getting green vomit in the face. Physical decline. And thrown in a lot of psychological and emotional pain for some of the characters, played by an extremely well performing cast. Although a movie like this wouldn't shock as nearly as much today, it still hardly seems dated.

Most of the "possession" movie have been inspired by this classic, from "Evil dead" to "Fallen".

Sequels differ in quality, with the dreadful "Exorcist 2-the heretic" and the almost worthy "Exorcist III - Legion".

Evil Dead II (1987)

Comical remake of the best horror movie of the 80s.

[9/10 · 27 July 2000]

When you have to describe this film in one sentence it's like this: Evil Dead part 1 where 50% of the gore is replaces by hilarious slapstick and one-liners.

Yes, it's more of a black comedy with some nasty gore than all out splatter like the first movie. You can't take a movie seriously in which a sawed off hand gives it's former owner the bird. It's almost as if the writers of "the Naked gun" dropped by for a visit.

Almost a replica of the original, the story follows the same road as in the first. Ash drives to a cabin in the woods with a new girlfriend, accidentally brings the demons back to this world and hell breaks loose again, only to make the movie become one big joke. First of all, it's totally incomprehensible why Ash would even THINK about setting foot in a cabin again, let alone willingly speak out the lines that would bring out some evil force. Did he suffer from amnesia after what happened to him the first time? It's almost as if Sam Raimi, the director said: "ignore the first movie, and start with this, then go see Army of darkness".

If his intention was to make a comic book like horrormovie, he succeeded. The brilliant photography is almost another spirit as it races through the woods, tilts and spins.

Bruce Campbell is fantastic as an anti-hero, especially when spitting out one-liners. However, never is this movie scary or shocking as the first movie, and that's always what i go for when watching a horror movie. As a spoof it's hilarious, as horror it's only average. However it's still an extremely entertaining and brilliantly shot film, so personally i'll give it a 9 out of 10.

The Evil Dead (1981)

Brilliant milestone in horror history!

[10/10 · 27 July 2000]

Here's another movie that definitely has viewers give black or white opinions. You either love it or you hate it. Exceptions not counted, my guess is: if you're not a true horror fan, you'll absolutely despise this brilliant piece of film. It's understandable because if you're not to it, the constant terror, haunting sound effects, scary photography (from the forest creature's point of view), and bathtubs full of blood and other gore that occupy the screen for 75% of the duration will put you off if not sicken you beyond belief. But if you would manage to see beyond that, you'd see the incredible talent of Sam Raimi, the director. The vision, the way of shooting the movie, the choice of sound effects, are examples of a great new master at work.

The special effects are low budget, yes, but once again to all the people who complained, THIS WAS A LOW BUDGET FILM! You can't buy a Mercedes with minimum wage. And however "bad" the effects may have been, they were still effective and at times pretty scary. Just watch this movie alone in the dark late at night and you'll see.

When i first saw this movie i was shocked at the gore displayed in this film, and although less so, still am today. With the exception of certain zombie films, especially the brilliant "Brain dead", there has yet to be a horror movie making this attempt to gross you out.

Another thing which made me give this milestone of horror a perfect 10 is that there's some dark humor, but just enough to not get in the way of the shocks it's trying hand out.

The Entity (1982)

Powerful supernatural thriller.

[8/10 · 27 July 2000]

Whether this story is based on facts or not is something everybody should decide for themselves to believe or not. But it won't change the fact that this is a very intense powerful supernatural thriller about an invisible presence grabbing every opportunity to attack and sexually assault the main character. Having great actors and actresses like Barbara Hershey and Ron Silver sure helps as with lesser actors it may have looked like a joke.

Tension builds up as the movie progresses, especially when the ghost make it perfectly clear that he doesn't care if it's victim is alone or not, breaking with the usual cliche of nobody believing her because nobody sees it happening. It's those scenes, in which she is assaulted in the company of other people, that are most powerful and shocking, as you can see they don't understand what is happening before their very eyes, and also don't know how to deal with it.

The final in the fake house, is exciting.

The performances, understated but good special effects, and the suspense make this an underrated ghost story.

Empire of the Ants (1977)

50s pulp made in the 70s.

[6/10 · 27 July 2000]

The makers of this movie obviously tried making a good giant insect horror movie, instead they made a laughable film with awful special effects. However, when in a corny mood, it could be entertaining to watch this pulp, as it is an unintentional homage to the giant insect films of the fifties.

The Devil's Advocate (1997)

Great overall movie, except in the horror department.

[7/10 · 26 July 2000]

A prime example of how a bigger budget doesn't necessarily means a scarier horrorfilm. As a matter of fact, it's very hard to be scared of the devil when he's played by Al Pacino. Although he's one of the greatest actors of all time, i just never stopped seeing him as Al Pacino, when i should have seen him as the devil. That's what you get when you cast a megastar in this kind of part. He smirks, smiles, an surely talks a lot. There are wisecracks, dialogues filled with philosophy and intelligence. There's nudity and beauty, and some degree of hard violence. But if this is THE devil, Satan himself, then he sure doesn't scare me.

The scenes where the girlfriend, played by Charlize Theron, gradually goes out of her mind are the most effective in the movie, including the scene where she ends her own psychological suffering. But for the rest, it's a great movie, with fantastic acting performances (even by Keanu Reeves), great dialogue, good special effects, a great climax, and a damn good score. Too bad it's supposed to be a horrorfilm, because where it fails is the most important part, it's just not scary.

Deep Rising (1998)

A real sinker.

[6/10 · 26 July 2000]

After "the Abyss" came out in the 80s, there was a little trend of "underwater monster attack trapped people" movies including mediocre thrills as: Leviathan, Deep star sex and even the more recent Sphere. This movie can in a way be categorized in that list.

It's about a group of villains entering a seemingly abandoned cruise ship and finding out there's an octopus-like creature that eats people by sucking out their insides. Oh, and once great actor Treat Williams is in this too, including an extremely irritating side kick and the highly overrated Famke Janssen.

All things considered, the effects are marginally decent, the monster looks pretty good, and with suspension of belief, this trash can be enjoyable enough.

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

Good large edition of "Tales from the crypt".

[7/10 · 26 July 2000]

I've seen uncensored episodes of "Tales from the crypt", with well-known actors like Joe Pesci, Tom Hanks, Michael J. Fox and so on that were extremely gory. I wonder if these episodes were ever shown on American television in these uncut versions. But they were great. And this is one of those kind of episodes. After seeing some (censored) episodes that were no more scary than an average Twilight Zone episode, that's a relief.

A mysterious man is chased by demons into a house occupied with people and all hell breaks loose, literally. It's a slick version of Evil Dead with more advanced special effects and more professional acting, and everything is presented with tongue in cheek, especially the evil character played by Billy Zane, who looks like a cowboy drifter.

A lot of fun for horror fans, but a bit forgettable as well.

The Dark Half (1993)

Good adaptation from a great book.

[7/10 · 26 July 2000]

I saw this movie after i read the book and i have to say pretty much of the book was also in the film, although not all. Some parts with the sparrows for instance weren't in the film, probably because the budget wouldn't allow special effects that elaborate. And the murders, although violent enough in the movie, were particularly more gruesome in the book.

Ultimate conclusion: great acting from top notch actors/actresses who usually are nowhere to be found in horror (if you discount Michael Rooker's performance in "Henry"), pretty good special f/x and direction from a director who has made his mark in horror.

Dead Ringers (1988)

David Cronenberg's one and only bomb.

[26 July 2000]

It's been a while since i've seen this movie, and as far as i can remember, i was greatly disappointed. With a director like David Cronenberg, who besides great scares also makes great MOVIES, an actor like Jeremy Irons and a story like this, you'd expect more suspense and more interesting characters than this.

Although as a film, it's craftilly made, as a horrorfilm it's pretty dire. The photography is depressing and murky when there seems to be something going on. The characters range from pathetic to unlikable to silly, these people i did NOT care for in the least. I have a tendency not to care for financially and socially established people hooked on drugs anyway. Even the character played by Genevieve Bujold, who started out fine, had me bored and irritated after an hour.

Some people may like this incomprehensible mire, but i didn't feel any need to see it again. Too bad.

Creepshow 2 (1987)

Could have been worse.

[7/10 · 26 July 2000]

The best way to enjoy this sequel, just as other sequels, is to look at it as a separate movie. It fails in comparison to the first movie.

If i did have to mention it's weak spots (besides the low budget and not-so-talented-director) it's that there are less stories than in part 1, the horror is at times gory, but nowhere near as gory as in the first. There is much less dark humor except maybe in the "hitchhiker" story.

The first story about a wooden Indian exacting revenge for it's murdered owners on some robbing scum is pretty tame, and pretty dull to boot.

The second about a group of young people spending the day on a wooden raft in a calm lake is a major improvement. It's got more suspense and a couple of real shocks, like when one of the guys tries to have sex to a sleeping girl. What starts out as soft moaning rapidly becomes loud screaming and those who have seen the movie know why. The third story is the best, and the goriest about a snobbish woman who hits and runs on a hitchhiker, only to be terrorized by the dead man. Each time she violently rids herself of the ghoul, he still keeps coming back in a worse physical shape.

Not exactly great, but entertaining and it could have been a lot worse.

Deadly Friend (1986)

Deadly, yes. Scary? No!

[7/10 · 26 July 2000]

Once you manage to make your mind go blank and just accept the incredibly dumb story, what you get is a movie that's not as bad as it sounds.

A girl is beaten and thrown down the stairs and dies. Her next door friend, who is a wiz at electronics, snatches her body out of the mortuary and installs a microchip in her brain. When she succesfully returns from the dead she has some bones to pick with her father and a nasty old lady (Anne Ramsey from "Throw momma from the train"). One of the murders involves a basketball, believe it or not. At some points there is even a little room for some emotion as it's obvious these two kids were on their way to romance before the girl got killed, and the feeling is obvious even after the girl walks around a corpse.

A decent modern Frankenstein for teenagers, almost completely ruined by the ridiculous surprise ending.

The Dead Zone (1983)

Great supernatural thriller.

[9/10 · 26 July 2000]

If there is a thing that can be said about movies adapted from novels written by Stephen King it is that they cam in three different waves. In the beginning from the 70s to mid 80s there were well made suspenseful thrillers/horrormovies like Carrie, Shining, Cujo, Salem's Lot and this one. Then there was a long wave of utter crap, like Cat's eye, Children of the corn (less so), Sometimes they come back, Graveyard shift, the Mangler,the disappointing made for tv miniseries The Stand and so on (Misery was a diamond in this mud). And finally we have very well made movies from the late 90s until now, that however can hardly be called horror anymore. The Shawshank redemption, although a fine film, was no horror, the same goes for Dolores Claiborne and now the Green mile.

The Dead Zone is a perfect example of how a Stephen King adaptation should be: chilling, suspenseful, very well made and acted, and even emotional at times. This is only possible when dealing with three dimensional characters and in turn, they can only be played by actors ranging from good to wonderful. Any movie that manages to have three plots and one sub-plot and be this great is a major achievement. There's Johnny trying to keep a friend from sending his son to an ice-skating gang, because he has forseen that the ice will break and the kids will drown. Then his help is required to track down a serial killer, and finally we have Johnny trying to stop a presidency candidate from achieving his goal, because he had a vision of this megalomaniac destroying the world by starting a massive nuclear holocaust. In contrary to most Stephen King adaptations, it even has the guts to wipe the floor with Hollywood conventions and let the movie end the way it should.

One of David Cronenberg's and Christopher Walken's best.