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Paradise PD (2018)
I wonder if people actually watch these sober.
I can enjoy cartoons, so don't take me for a cartoon hater, i liked "Disenchantment" for an example, and i like Futurama,King of the Hill so on. But this on the other hand lacks both the artistic value, and the genuine humor those ones had, they even have some sort of plot going on, while this is just another family guy type of series where lazy looking characters are doing random and lazy irrelevant and barely relating jokes, can't be taken seriously - maybe it should not be taken seriously anyways, but i just see it as poor attempt at what it does.
And this comes from a guy who thinks Tom Green's hated film Freddy got fingered is amazing! i mean, that film manages to make parody of so many things at the same time, while this kind of garbage is just cheap jokes smashed into a cartoon blender. If it were even funny, but it hardly is.
I would imagine that one has to be sedated on several medications to be able to enjoy this, i mean there has to be some kind of an explanation?
Project X (2012)
A bad joke.
Its just the same basic "plot" of teens drinking and having a party, but the makers did not even bother to do it properly.
People compare this movie with Superbad and the hangover series, how come? those movies had some sort of development while in this movie its random "found footage" shots of arrogant teen doing stupid things.
I can't help but to wonder the honesty of those ratings higher than 7/10 ? i get that some 12 year old who has never actually drank alcohol thinks this is funny, but still how can someone by any standards think this is 10/10 film? this is no film, anyone who is annoying enough, has 2k of dosh for the liquor, and large enough following in social media could film this with a cheap camera.
Found footage by the way, might work in horror movies ( i think it does ) but it only made this look even worse than it would be without using this low budget tactic. What is this supposed to be a wannabe american pie with blair witch twist? Btw, whats the point of them drinking so much alcohol, when they don't even seem to get drunk, they act just the same before and after downing all those tequila shots, if you are someone who drinks often this looks so fake.
I saw this movie in Netflix, some entity or just sheer common sense forbid people for actually paying for this separately.
Its a joke, but its not a funny joke, you can think about a situation when someone desperately wants to tell a joke, but doesn't have anything genuinely funny to say, so he will just prolong the joke hoping it will get funny at some point, even though its just the same crap over and over again.
Well this is how i felt, you can try to watch it, maybe you find it funny... But i think you should't especially if you are over 20, would be pretty stupid idea to pay for it in my opinion.
If you think drinking alcohol and swearing a lot of funny watch Trailer Park Boys instead (canadian series) it has actual funny jokes, and it actually depicts how alcoholic life is more like. Btw, the things they did in this movie are not fun IRL, having a hangover and destroying an expensive house and disturbing the whole neighborhood is not funny, its really sad, well now you can't say i did not warn you about this movie and it's absence of message, plot, or ... anything linked to actual films, except that there was apparently a camera present.
I don't consider this review to contain any more spoilers, than lets say the synopsis of the movie - Because not much happens in it.
The Nun (2018)
"The Nun" 2/10.
The 2 stars are for the laughs that it gave in the first 30 minutes, after which it just got plain boring. Not sure if this was supposed to be a christian adventure movie or a horror movie? certainly did not seem like a horror movie, perhaps it might get you with few jumps if you watch it with headphones in the middle of the night.
What was the target audience? teenager (under 18) Christians? but even then it would not make any sense, because if i was a christian i would consider this movie very blasphemous. I mean, take a look at the scene in the end.
I'm not going to tell you any specific details on this movie, because it would be a spoiler, and i don't see why i would do a review of a movie with spoilers in it - but i can tell you, that it was lame, and serves better as some sort of " comical fantasy " than a thriller.
Secret Obsession (2019)
Glad i watched it before reading the reviews.
Well, the movie delivered me about exactly what i expected, and yeah its pretty obvious from the trailer alone - but... That's what i went for. And also, day before this i watched movie called "The Nun" and compared to that movie, this was a thrilling masterpiece.
You can probably guess a lot of things happening, and yes there are plot holes, which is not untypical in 1,5 h movies when they don't have time to explain everything like in the Lord of the rings trilogy or something along the lines of that.
But what i care about is how decently is it made, and this was filmed and acted pretty good, even thought some of the character's behavior seemed very unnatural, but hey its a movie not a documentary.
Hard to decide between 7 and 8, the movie was what i expected, but like many people stated in their overly critical reviews (IMO) a lot of things could have been explained better, so lets say 7.
Limitless (2015)
Interesting and entertaining.
It was news to me that this show has a decent rating on IMDb, you know why? because this show is actually good! even in my opinion, and often times that means the show will get a lot of hate, Lmao. I have watched 12 episodes so far, most of them have been deserving of 8 to 9 in rating, few of them did feel like kind of a filler (about 6- 7 ) but overall, i feel the show is pretty good as i can watch 3 episodes in a row without getting bored - Even if i'm not too fond of your ordinary crime shows like "law and order" or such, this is more of " a light sci-fi crime show" although, sometimes the stunts that he is supposed to be able to pull seem kind of ridiculous.
But then again, if we take this as a "Sci-fi/Crime/Drama/comedy" i guess it is very good! hard to decide between 8 and a 9, since i think, it is presented quite well i'm gonna say 9.
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Epic movie hated by many.
Like the title says, it is an amazing epic adventure, senselessly hated by many. Perhaps it does not follow the original book it is based on, but i have not read it, and i am reviewing the movie.
I think every movie lover should watch this classic, it is made in 1982 but its ahead of its time in storytelling, the acting is quite wooden obviously because its Arnold but that only compliments the characters, this movie is not about talking and showing emotions, it is about atmosphere and adventure - and it really delivers, even many modern sword epics lack what this film succeeds to deliver.
This film seems like an actual attempt to make a film, unlike the cash grab that was made with Jason Momoa later on. The second Conan the barbarian with Arnold was just weird.
Also the musical landscape in this film gives a very nice enchantment to the atmosphere as well.
This film is EPIC.
Borderlands 2 (2012)
And i got it for:
It is ridiculous i got this game for like 2-3 euros, and i did not play it for a long time, i had tried borderlands 1 earlier, and it did not seem very interesting.
But then i played this as Co-Op on xbox 360 with a shared screen, and whow! that must be the best real life co-op game experience i have ever had in this life to this day!
Looking forward to play Borderlands 3.
Dino Crisis 2 (2000)
Most replays.
This is probably my most replayed game ever!
Just based on that i can't give it anything less than 10/10, the old sticker says i paid 16,90 euros for it (that is somewhere close to 20 dollars) and that money has been paid me back many times but the sheer fun and excitement of playing this game.
The campaign if very short, like 4 hours, but it doesn't matter - the story is very good for such a short campaign as well, it doesn't necessarily make that much sense, but this game is mainly focused on an action movie like experience featuring dinosaurs and sci-fi.
Even though the graphics are now very old and clunky looking, i still enjoy the game, and i still maybe get a little anxious about the water level, LMAO! in general the game is not that much of "horror" game, but the water level feels very suspenseful, and frustrating too to be honest.
Although i do think that dinosaurs are just as fitting for horror games as zombies are, maybe even more? dinosaurs are fast and have sharp fangs and large claws, zombies are basically just humans on crack or something ( i don't use crack so it was just an example) .
Assassin's Creed: Odyssey (2018)
IMDB is right on tracks on this one.
Where as i see god of war greatly overrated and just got here from giving it "Only a 6/10" i see that this game has some similarities with it, except that this one is just a 2 starts better, the battle system is kind of alike but then again you can also do more of the acrobatic stuff, the only downside of this game is that it seems like really long game ( i have not finished it yet ) and while in the beginning the grinding of the gear seemed fun, it becomes a chore very quickly.
Still, i like how you can go around and explore the world, you get a feeling of being in that world, and exploring & battling around. Its a bit shame that it has this grinding element in it, its more of "warriors creed" than of assassin's anyways.
Maybe i'm being a bit generous with my 8/10, but i think this game has potential and its turned down for stupid reasons over the internet.
God of War (2018)
Mediocre.
Uhh... Really almost 10? its not a bad game, i was deciding between 6 or 7, but it has been rated almost 10? how come, i have got this game on hold for a long time now just because it was just too dull to complete, its constant hack and slash action in colorful world, with messy inventory/skill systems. It is kind of your "Ratchet and Clank" for older teens (13-20 years old) if the story is supposed to be good, i guess the quality of stories people are used nowadays is pretty bad - If you are interested in viking mythology, read the sources, this game has just adopted random parts and made fun of them. Even Mimir is portrayed as a total joke, and to be a good joke, it should be funny - it is not. Most of the characters are absurdly annoying stereotypes without any depth into them, i have not played the original god of war games, but from what i have understood they changed Kratos character completely without much explanation at all ( Although explanation might be hidden in Krato's "Oh so deep" rowing boat stories he tells to Atreus )
The graphics are nice, but they are also nothing special, a lot of games in these days have as nice, or even nicer graphics - and in my opinion the graphics sometimes in this game look like "hard boiled candy" the game does not come off as "Rated R (18+)" for me at all, the violence looks so unrealistic i would rate it 12+ based on that, but then again i would rate it 15+ just so the kids don't go assuming that its actual viking mythology presented in this game.
If you want game with good graphics go with Metal Gear Solid V phantom pain, even though its 3 years older the graphics are WAY better ( keep in mind that i played in on PC, so not completely sure how well it does in the PS4 system, of course if you want all of your games looking like candycrush in HD you might not like MGS V graphics ) don't get me wrong some games look good in slightly "candy" style like Diablo 3 and World of Wacraft.
Yes, this review is bit aggressive, and this game is not the worst game i'm not saying that, but its plain ignorant that it has so many 10/10's as i just don't believe that people REALLY like this game so much, but are just saying that its "The best!" because their friend or favorite reviewer says so, try and play some more games before thinking this is 10/10, and if even then it is - Then, yeah it is 10/10 for you.
Resident Evil 7: Biohazard (2017)
Surprisingly good.
I was not a fan of RE series, although i did enjoy "Dino Crisis 2" from the same creator. This game however changed my perspective, it really got me interested in the franchise, and i'm certainly going to play the new Resident Evil 2 remake when i have time from other unfinished games i have going on. Sure some people feel that the ideas in this game are "used" but hey, at the modern day it's almost impossible to come up with something completely new.
The good or the excellent in this game is, that it delivers the atmosphere in a way that is very enjoyable yet thrilling, i would describe this game simply as: "The horror movie experience game" you get to play as a "normal guy" in a complete horror movie entertainment searching for he's lost girlfriend.
IMO the graphics on PS4 are very nicely done, and at least good enough to make the game seem realistic for me, it is really hard to find any flaws in the game, maybe the ending was bit too longish as the "level" was quite frustrating for my taste, but still the game has a great replay value as well, as it is not very long and there is also a choice that you can make and see few slightly different outcomes.
9/10 easily, i understand if you think it is 10/10 too! This game can be enjoyed by other gamers than only horror fans too, i think at least.
Fainaru fantajî sebun adobento chirudoren (2005)
Just something for fans to chew on.
This is a movie made just for the fans of the game... I would not probably give it even a 6, if i was not fan of the game itself, and when i was younger i really liked this movie, i still would WANT to like it, but lets just admit it: Its not a good film.
The story doesn't make any sense, its mainly just scene after scene, and the only thing that is really even somewhat enjoyable is the final battle.
Graphics are obviously good as well, it was fun to see the characters animated like this, that is why i am giving it as "high" rating as 6/10.
Avatar (2009)
Over hyped.
I never got the fuss around this film, yes it is animated, and the computer animations are very good in it, probably looks good in 3D if that is what you care about. But if the visual art is the only reason to watch it, then i consider that there are better alternatives (anime / animated movies ) for visual art + entertainment. I think i saw dancing with the wolves AFTER i had seen avatar (if i remember correctly) and i still thought it was more interesting, somehow its hard to grasp any too interesting details from this movie, even though i'm nature and culture of hunter gatherers.
The whole idea of the movie is kind of weird, but i guess that is the point, and like i said surely the animation quality is pretty good, and there are some entertaining scenes, it is okay/good for entertainment purposes.
So yeah, it sure deserves 6/10, but i'm not too sure about it deserving as much as it is praised for, but people like what they like, this is just my opinion.
Jurassic Park (1993)
Amazement.
Movies like this make you wonder why they have so unrealistic animations and such made after 2010, if they could do this in 1993. The dinosaurs are amazing, and acting is very good as well. Just watch it if you haven't for some reason, a true classic that is fun to watch more than once.
I guess if i was to explain why i am not rating it 10/10 is that some parts before the action start are bit annoying, especially when you have seen the film several times: Like Hammond showing off the park history with he's silly animation show ( I don't consider this a spoiler since i only briefly mention which part i dislike without going in too much detail ).
When the action starts happening the rest of the movie is 10/10.
The Rezort (2015)
A zombie flick.
Fine for being just another B-movie about zombies, it is not a film, so i would not compare it to films like Jurassic park which of i did not even think of before seeing the comments here. For being somewhat mindless entertainment of zombie mayhem, it does have a decent enough plot to be at least memorable, obviously that plot does not make much sense and the whole idea of their carelessness from the beginning is quite absurd.
It still does manage to have some sort of plot, and if its viewed without analyzing it too much, and you just want to watch zombie movie with someone or with a group of friends, you might as well pick this one.
Vendetta (2015)
Unsure what the 1 star reviewers were expecting.
It is a movie that is good entertainment for a hot summer night when you don't feel like sleeping, but don't want to pay too much attention to anything either, i'm repeating ENTERTAINMENT it is not a "film" its an entertaining movie, it delivers exactly what you would/should expect from it, which is bloody action and fast paced plot that doesn't make much sense if you start thinking about it too much.
It deserves at least 7/10 because it is what it is, acting was pretty good too, i am not professional enough to see a lot of mistakes in it anyways.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
3 Starts for visuals.
Like i say in the title, this piece only gets its starts for the visual effects, which are of course fine since its a huge budget film. The story, jokes and the acting however are just like a poor parody of the former episodes. A lot of people like the first one, i really liked the second one, and i think the third was very good as well.
This one you can skip, it has nothing to offer for the series, and Johnny Depp looks and sounds like he couldn't care less about doing this role anymore.
The Simpsons: The Principal and the Pauper (1997)
Not the worst.
This is not the worst Simpsons episode obviously, they have done a lot worse episodes after this... But it seems really like an desperate attempt to come up with something "funny / clever " and a really press the word "attempt" while it is at parts somewhat interesting to watch, it just doesn't make sense or even a too good joke.
Episodes like this are something that just mock the fans who have paid attention to the characters, and people who have not paid attention to the characters probably don't care much anyways, so its pretty much a lose - lose situation, but no way it is the worst episode, its just "quite silly".
Kaze tachinu (2013)
Quite forgettable/few spoilers here.
While yes, it is beautifully animated, it is quite disappointing.
Whole story can be summed in: A guy passionately dreaming of plains in a hard time in he's country (and engineering them for real too), smoking - yes for some reason people seem to smoke all the time in this movie, and getting a wife who then dramatically gets ill... Yet being together and smoking is more important than getting her cured, so instead he does work & smokes while holding her wife's hand.
In the end it just seems that "it is sad, but can't help, lets keep dreaming of aircraft and perhaps smoking"
This is what the movie left me feeling, i understand that your feelings might be different. But for me, it was just about some well of guy having wife tragically dying, whilst he was all about smokes and aircraft.
For me this is actually a quite huge spoiler, since not much else happened in the movie, but perhaps other people have different perspectives.
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
Miyazaki at best.
Hayao Miyazaki at he's best i, while the story does not seem that original, but then again what story does? the execution is done in very cool way, no matter what age you are, this is not film only for kids even though someone not familiar to anime might think so.
It would perhaps get 10/10 if the story had more background on the beginning and the end, but like i said its not much about what happens, but more about how it happens and what is going on during the movie "just watch it", my point is that like usually in Hayao Miyazaki's film they don't give much background explanations for things, so you have to "figure them out yourself" and this can be frustrating if not familiar with the subject.
Basically it is an artistic view of folklore, in a manner that could be described as "children's tale" but it is nice to watch for adults too, like usually in anime the characters resemble things described in polytheistic/animistic and pantheistic traditions.
The 100 (2014)
Cheesy as it gets.
I have watched only two episodes, but i felt compelled to do this review, i'm very surprised it has got as high as 7,7 rating, oh well - maybe it gets better later.
But i have to say, i really doubt that this one gets better, almost every line written is cheesy AF and is delivered with such bad acting, that it makes me either yawn or laugh how bad it is. Which is kind of a shame because the concept itself is interesting/entertaining enough, and this is why i might still watch an episode or few.
But really, they messed up the interesting topic with such low-quality teenager drama, that is not believable at all (at lest for a foreigner like me) that it makes it so hard to get into it. Also the CGI is worse than series 10 years older than this one.
4/10 and that already contains the hopes that it might get better, but the overall style of the script and the acting would have to take quite a leap forward.
EDIT: I have watched more episodes since, and it doesn't really get much better or worse, maybe it does get a little more boring as the plot is stuffed in with too much cliches and dramatic facial expressions instead of any real development - still, i think as i did before, it is 4/10.
Soupçons (2004)
What to think about it?
At first i was quite neutral about it, thinking maybe this man did not do the murderer he seems... fine.
Then i was, okay its all clear, he did it he murdered her.
Then i thought, wait what maybe he did not do it?
In the end i did not know what to think about it, and i still do not.
Maybe he did not murder he's wife, but he sure seems weird, and oddly calm and humorous about the whole process, it also focused so heavily on the guy "Michael Peterson" himself, that it could be called the "Michael Peterson" show.
Its a good show, but i kind of feel like it was not presented entirely in a neutral way, even though they did show Michael's bad sides too. So, uhh, 7/10
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
King of comedy movies.
People have been greatly mistaken, for this is the ultimate comedy movie.
Where as most of the comedy movies come of as cheap tryhards, this one really rocks out without trying too hard, i mean Tom Greene seems just to be having fun, and making me laugh along. I'm saying that it comes easy and natural to him, this is the feeling i get, he can take almost any situation and make it comical.
This movie outright mocks your stereotypical comedy films, and its right the genre is so full of wannabes (IMO), this guy however knows how to get on the top of it all, this film can get really lewd at the times - but it doesn't leave me the feeling that it was intended to insult people unlike many flicks might do, but instead he makes fun of himself, and fun of situations in life, i especially like how he makes fun of the hardships regarding "father and son" relationship, in he's very uh special and intense way.
Perhaps for some people thought, this was a big slap for a horse **** on the face!
( I do not consider this review to contain actual spoilers, watch the movie if you are even slightly what they call "open minded" )
I Am Legend (2007)
First half good/Second half bad.
Hmm, its a hard movie to review without spoiling it, but i wanted to try and give it a review, since for a change i am not strongly feeling one way or the other about this movies.
First of all, i'm not really a Will Smith fan, so the fact that Will Smith is acting in this movie does not move the rating any higher in my case.
It is one of them "end of the world, scenario" movies, and i understood that it is based on some book? might be interesting read, as was the first half of this movie.
Without spoiling the movie too much, we have this guy Neville ( a scientist ) who seems to be the last man alive, somehow immune to the outbreak virus which got everyone else infected, we also have the real star of the movie - he's dog Sam, the first half goes on with him and sammy exploring the apocalyptic world and trying to find sings of life, and come up with a cure to the virus... The danger creeps in the dark, as the zombies seem to be afraid of light.
I don't know why they chose to use CGI for the zombies, they had better effects in the 1985's movie "Fright Night" so i can't figure how do the zombies look like cheap video game enemies planted on a movie at 2007.
Here is a serious spoiler, but if you have seen the movie or just don't care, about the second half:
The dog dies, it is sad but also frustrating because now the movies dies too, this only proves that the dog was the true star of the movies. Now Will's character loses he's mind cries to some mannequins and tries to kill himself. But suddenly some woman and a kid appear to save him, in this "deus ex machina" moment... But okay, its a movies, movies have deus ex machinae.
What really bothers me is that now that Neville finally did find someone, he is so messed up that he is getting rage fits over some old bacon, and being depressed in general - i mean, c'mon wouldn't he be thrilled to see other humans that he has been looking for? well, then there is some awkward moment when the kid watches Shrek on he's moment and Neville speaks the lines... Ok ? there is also some forced babble about Bob Marley wanting to "cure people of racism" just like "he wants to find a cure for the zombies" a promising (first half) of the movie turned into some awkward mess IMO, and they seem to know it as now it is going to end soon!
Its easy to guess what is going to happen next, the zombies attack to the house... They go to the basement with the live test subject (zombie) who the "Alfa zombie" and he's crew were apparently looking for...
they get behind the armour glass (Or panzer glass whatever it is called in english) with the zombie that seems to be getting cured? , Neville gets some flash backs inspired by the woman's neck tattoo and start believing in god...Takes some of the zombie's cured blood gives it to the woman who goes hiding inside the wall and blows up himself - End of the story.
( Or almost the end, then they show this clip of the woman finding the "refuge" place )
It is not bad for a Will Smith movie (like i said not really a fan) but it could have been a lot better, if they had not messed up the second half, and if they made the zombies look better instead of using cheap computer graphics.
6/10. The dog was very well trained.
Happy! (2017)
Junk!
I tried to come up with the reason for giving it 2 starts instead of 1, but i just cannot come up with one, i did manage to watch two episodes, then again i was drunk and just wanted to watch something... Figured out that this would fit the mood, but this doesn't seem to fit any mood: Its dark yet it is juvenile, a badly animated hallucination unicorn appears to some parody-like action movie character, i understand that it could be fun to watch it as a parody, but then again it tries too hard to be a good parody either. Show did not seem to have a serious plot to spoil, so i'm just gonna say that it clearly just aims to be as violent and "funny" as it manages, comes off cheap.
I simply did not enjoy it enough to give it more than 1 star, which it might or might not deserve.
What i find more interesting than the series, is that how come adult people actually find this funny and worth ratings high as 9 or 10, but maybe i'm missing some cultural element as a foreign (North European) reviewer.