Jblum5 Reviews

Fallout (2024– )

A Great Western

[8/10 · 24 April 2024]

Fallout may be the surprise hit of the year so far. I have only played Fallout 4 (and absolutely loved it) and have knowledge of the rest. I tend not to like what Amazon does outside of a few things here and there. This show has taken over pop culture right now and that is honestly quite surprising given video game movies and shows never seem to land.

The show is well acted, well paced and they truly put he money into it to do the story justice. The set designs are great, the music is fantastic. It has many nods to classic westerns and the 3 main story lines the show follows all feel like they could be their own quality movie.

My only even possible complaints are fairly minor. The story features so much plot armor it causes the show to feel downright hoaky and corny at a lot of times. It also struggles to find a tone, I think the games find a perfect mix of comedy and despair where the show leans way more into despair across the board.

Overall Fallout does it's legendary source material proud and I for one and excited for Season 2!

Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer (2024)

Jimmy Carr Further Cements his Legacy

[10/10 · 17 April 2024]

As a former standup comedian , I am in constant awe at how well Jimmy Carr writes jokes. From a technical level, he is a master and has been a master for 2+ decades. I don't know of anyone else who can do it quite like him.

Saying this special is "trash" is like saying you don't like a painting because you don't like the color yellow. Those reviews come off as hallow, superficial and sad. Comedy has a somewhat unique issue in that some of the loudest critics tend to NOT be fans of comedy. It is one of the only forms of art that deal with this. If a painter paints something, there aren't 100 people commenting how offensive it is who have never looked at paintings before.

I for one - despise Game of Thrones. Two seasons in I thought "when is this going to get good?" and never watched it again. I don't necessarily believe it's bad show; it's just not for me. "Natural Born Killer" may not be for you. It does not make it a bad show. Even I would be personally offended by a few of these jokes if said outside a comedy show. However the writing is masterful, and they come at such a pace that there are more jokes coming to make you laugh again. It features many of his one liners, dipping his toe into every controversial issue he can conjure up and then moving on.

I have seen it twice, and enjoyed it both times. There are a few lulls (the last 7 minutes aren't the best) but overall I would classify it as yet another masterpiece from Jimmy Carr. If you like the art of standup comedy - this is an obvious must watch.

Ricky Stanicky (2024)

Stanicky Gives it to You Straight

[8/10 · 9 March 2024]

Ricky Stanicky tells the story of 3 friends who invented a person to take the blame for all of their misdeeds. When they are caught in a lie, Ricky Stanicky may need to become a real person.

This movie works for a number of reasons for me. The biggest things for me is the quality of the character writing and tone. My big issue with many of these types of movies is that characters are too over the top, idiotic and cringey to enjoy. You have to suspended your belief too much for me to enjoy any of it. There are many points where it seems like things are just going to go off the rails and a character is refreshingly competent and makes the scene very enjoyable. It makes the 2 hours you are with these characters so much more enjoyable.

The tone of this movie is literally pitch perfect for me. It isn't mean spirited, woke or too dumb to enjoy and remembers it is a comedy. This is 100% a "dumb comedy" but it knows what it is and does it well. The ending isn't great and there are some cheesy moments that don't belong, but overall it is here to entertain and pulls it off amazingly well.

John Cena absolutely steals the show, much like he did in the "Vacation Friends" movies. He is basically playing the same character as he does there and in his brief role in "Trainwreck." I think he has to be in the short list of modern comedic talent , especially with how few good comedy's we have now. The rest of the cast essentially plays off of this by design and therefore can seem flat, but I think it's again what makes this movie work. William H Macy has a great bit part and I will watch anything with Frank Gallagher in it.

This is not the most hilarious movie of all time. I certainly remember maybe 5-10 times laughing. That being said, I still think Ricky Stanicky would be my favorite comedy movie since "Good Boys" and should be a must watch for comedy fans.

Upgraded (2024)

The Devil Wears... Old Navy

[6/10 · 15 February 2024]

Upgraded tells the story of an overworked, unappreciated intern aspiring to work in the high end art world. She is upgraded to first class on a flight and it sets off a chain of events that get her further and further in over her head.

First I threw this movie on as background fodder and I enjoyed it significantly more than I expected to. It has a "Devil wears Prada" feel where Marisa Tomei's character (and her assistants) are just impossibly rude and unlikable. It can get downright depressing as you see this hardworking girl just straight abused by the people she wants to be impressing. There are some decent comedic elements here and while they sometimes land, sometimes fall flat on their face, it helps break up the tension. The cast of characters introduced in act two are enjoyable and fun to spend time with, in contract to who we meet at the start of the film.

There are some issues with this movie. It can feel terribly cheesy at points. The story takes too many many unbelievable, "that would never happen, what the heck is going on?' moments that a better script could have avoided. Also - the main character can be downright selfish and hard to root for at many points in the story and I think it they wanted us so badly to root for her. Without getting into any spoilers - the ending feels unearned and should have been reworked to fit the story they were actually telling.

Overall for its straight to streaming feel, this is one of the better films of its type. It isn't a 'must watch' but a solid piece of cinema you can throw on at the end of a bad day.

3 out of 5 stars.

Tell No Lies (2024)

Don't listen to the Lies

[1/10 · 7 February 2024]

To date - I have given 32 1 star ratings out of 2500+ ratings in my IMDb career which means , this title is in the bottom 1% all time for me... and that seems fair.

This movie tells the story of a kidnapping gone wrong and the most inept police officer who is trying to solve it. Wil Johnson plays detective Wright who is written to be comedically bad. I believe honestly as an actor- he had the strongest individual performance in the film but his character is hilarious in all the wrong ways. I am pretty certain the writer hates police and this was their way of getting back at them. He believes a lie detector is accurate. Any small piece of evidence causes him to make giant leaps in logic that make no sense. At one point - he has a hunch and announces it to the press as an accusation. The police never put other detectives on the case despite it being a huge case and on local news.

The movies many twists are nonsensical. They hit you with the most passionless high school level character motivations , double crosses and reveals that it feels lazy in the worst ways. The ending is predictable with about 20-25 minutes left, and it's very mean spirited and doesn't really fit with the tone of the rest of the film. The kidnapping exists as this film's inciting incident and it too makes no sense.

So this is an ultimate skip. Maybe for a morbid watch at how absolutely hilarious the police department is. This movie made me angry though. Not in a fun way. Just in a... why did I fall for a decent IMDb rating and waste just under 2 hours?

1/10.

Lift (I) (2024)

No liftoff

[3/10 · 1 February 2024]

Lift tells the story of a group of art thieves who are conned into helping law enforcement catch an even bigger criminal. I had low expectations for this from due to its lack of push from Netflix and January release date. This movie fell even lower than those expectations . If I had to describe this movie in one word: Corny. Eye rolling corn fest that is a lifetime movie version of an action movie. Very watered down action, eye rolling moments and plot conveniences dominate this movie.

Kevin Hart as the main lead is a giant miscasting. He is the leader of a criminal organization, so it make sense he's a perfect and wonderful man. He is a super understanding, moral and compassionate boss, you know like most criminal organization leaders are. He isn't given a chance to be funny at all, he isn't believable in the role and it sets this movie up for failure from the start. Gugu Mbatha-Raw plays the interpol agent opposite of Hart, who probably gives the best performance of the movie but that honestly isn't much.

Veteran director F Gary Gray may have one of the most wildest career's I've ever seen. Man directed The Negotiator, a near masterpiece in my eyes. Plus comedy film Friday, Law Abiding Citizen, Straight out of Compton and a Super Bowl halftime show. I think this is one of the worst direction I have seen from him - this film feels like it was shot in a few weeks. The characters have no chemistry, and there is some real choppy acting (Jean Reno especially- he is great but not here.) Editing is quick and sometimes jarring, but does keep things moving along.

In the positive side- this film does have a breakneck pace. I wasn't bored at all just unimpressed. I think again, the level of corniness just kills the story, but I was mildly interested at points.

So overall lift is a very disappointing Netflix movie. It has the same bite as a Hallmark original Christmas movie. It's a hard skip.

Role Play (2024)

Flatter than a 3 day old soda

[5/10 · 16 January 2024]

Role Play tells the story of a married couple who decide to have a night out that reveals to a secret revealed that will shake them to their core.

Overall this movie isn't strong in any aspect. I feel like the casting of David Oyelowo as the husband was not a good choice. He has almost no chemistry with Kaley Cuoco and I don't buy that these two are married. These two are the heart of the film and I just think it's hard to get invested in them.

Characters in general are very inconsistent, weakly written so that they can do what the script needs them to do. Timid/rational in one scene, brave/irrational the next. The "ruthless criminals" feel like were lifted from a rated PG TV movie.

I do think some of the film is fun and the set up is intriguing, if ultimately bland. I love Bill Nighy so he was a welcome surprise and makes the best scene in the movie. I was fairly engaged throughout the movie and it went by fairly quickly.

Overall this is a straight to streaming quality movie that doesn't do its premise as well as others like Mr. And Mrs. Smith. It is a skip.

Nefarious (2023)

Awful

[3/10 · 4 January 2024]

Nefarious tells the story of a psychiatrist meeting with a serial killer hours before he is set to be executed for his many murders. A wrench is then thrown in when the man claims to be a demon who can't be killed.

The issue with this movie is its boring dialogue and familiar plot beats lifted from much better movie. This movie is 95% dialogue but the problem is that it is so hoaky and feels like a soap opera. The man interviewing goes from professional, to dramatic and yelling, and back to the point you are very aware you are watching a scripted movie. I didn't find the religious aspects of the film to be offensive or even annoying but also I have read fortune cookies with more to say than this entire film. The small budget also keeps you locked in on these two characters swinging from cliche to cliches like Tarzan. Unlike superior one setting films like "Blue Jay" or "Locke" , our two characters aren't being profound, realistic or even relevant. Plus hearing a grown man talk about his master over...and over....and over again is... a choice.

The ending also went the laziest way possible. The mystery of this man's identity was the only thing this film had going for it but the film maker abandons this with plenty of time left in the film because it wasn't the point of the movie. So you were left just kind of like. Oh, alright.

So overall, Nefarious is a disappointing horror thriller which isn't scary or captivating. I think if you aren't a big film fan, maybe you would like it more. For me there are so many better options than this film such as The Life of David Gale, Primal Fear, Law Abiding Citizen, Fallen, Solace, heck even Season 6 of Dexter. It is a hard skip.

Totally Killer (2023)

So problematic, but shut up and have fun with it!

[5/10 · 17 October 2023]

Totally Killer is a horror comedy tells the story of a girl who goes back in time to the 1980s to prevent a man murdering her mother.

First off on like a technical level this movie is a mess... I'II will be vague to avoid spoilers but characters here are extremely inconsistent. Characters are introduced as tough, stupid, mean only to be the opposite the next scene for no real reason, then back... and forth...

The movie runs two storylines and often forgets one entirely. It introduces are really cool idea but then goes nowhere with it like they ran out of time.,The ending is mostly predictable and mostly falls flat for me. In fact I walked away unsatisfied at the outcome and it felt like the ending of a different movie than I was watching.

There is also tons of what I will call "cringeworthy wokeness" written into the script in order to compare the two timelines. Nothing that ruins the film but when it comes out it is so awkward. There are lines that I think were done to get laughs or look down on how things used to be but it made the main character seem irritating. (Though a joke about their gym uniforms was absolutely hilarious.)

All this being said... this movie is fun. It moves at a breakneck pace, has loveable moments and some twists and turns as the story goes along. The acting is well done. It isn't hilarious but it had me smiling at several jokes and situations. I think this is the type of movie that you can really have fun with. It won't make many top 10 lists but it is a solid halloween watch.

So if you can overlook some flaws in film making and writing, this movie is a fun comedy with a decent mystery and some heart. Amazon doesn't produce much better than this these days.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

This one made me angry

[1/10 · 10 October 2023]

This movie is a Friday the 13th rip off taking advantage of an IP. It is uninspired garbage with no originality or care for the final product.

Pooh is naturally the main antagonist of this film and he is a copy of classic Jason Voorhees, the way he moves and acts. It's uninspired design ruins the film from the start. Pooh is very clearly a man in a mask- to the point where I once considered it a possible plot twist. Pooh has no fur and why is pooh wearing jeans? Oh yeah cause the director just doesn't care. Piglett has a worse design . Just a man in a cheap mask. They couldn't afford a mask that could talk so the characters were written as silent. They couldn't afford to show all the characters so they were mentioned in story book format.

All kills are done in quick cut format, so they can show you some gory make up of the after effect but nothing in camera. Some kills are so cheesy and poorly done it boarder-lines a parody. Several scenes feature cuts where characters are in an entirely different position before and after, because again the director just doesn't care. Plenty of movies are made cheaply with little special effects including greats like Saw, Texas Chainsaw and Night of the Living Dead but also movies like Hobo With a Shotgun, Sleepaway Camp which are not my favorites but were made with love that you can respect them for what they are.

This was made for money only. Passionless and lazy. One of the worst films I have ever seen. I think I am most angry because a talented and passionate creator could have made a really good film with this idea.

Saw X (2023)

More for movie fans than Saw Fans

[8/10 · 30 September 2023]

Saw X tells the story of a pre-Saw II John Kramer as he attempts to find a miracle cure for his brain cancer, only to be scammed out of his hope to survive.

I believe that Saw X may be the most important film in the franchise since Saw II. I am one of the biggest Saw fans you will find... but after the failures of the last two movies interest seemed to be dwindling from the average audience members. They have been struggling what to to do with this franchise , from Jigsaw the soft reboot to Spiral the spinoff, and have had discussions on Saw tv show. Saw X was the return to roots that I think works great as a placeholder to keep fans invested while they work out what to do next.

I think Saw X is.. pretty decent. I believe it is the most cinematic and best acted Saw ever done. Tobin Bell is fantastic as always, Synnove Macody Lund is phenomenal as Cecilia, Renata Vaca as Gabriela was also a standout. Not to mention Shawnee Smith, Michael Beach and Paulette Hernandez plus more giving great performances. I believe this is what drives the critical buzz this movie has. It is shot well and has the feeling of Saw movie without being done before.

They clearly went into this film with the goal of making Jigsaw the hero of the story. As the audience we know he is a villain but they do a wonderful job of making you feel his humanity here. You see his frustration, pain and humanity like never before. They also went sort of the way of Saw 6 in killing off deserving victims. In other Saw movies characters were tested for being too dedicated at finding justice, being depressed, being a police informant ect. It made the traps seem cruel and vicious. Ultimately if victims failed their traps you felt devastated. This time you are more okay with some justice being dealt.

So the Saw Staples.... The traps are fine here. Unnecessary timers are frustrating but they are practical and fitting to the victim's transgressions.

Storytelling is the most basic here it has ever been. It takes it's time in the first act getting into the story which I am more than fine with. We haven't seen Jigsaw like this before and it is worth the run time in my opinion. I will keep this vague in being spoiler free but I was slightly disappointed with the lack of.. Saw-ness. Being a prequel, you naturally know some facts about where we end up here. This movie has the least ambitious ending they have ever had in the series. They didn't try too hard and send it off the rails like in Jigsaw or Spiral, but to me it just felt like this was a place holder in the series rather than a story that needed to be told. We get great character development but the story itself seems inconsequential to the first 9 films which, while not a deal breaker was disappointing. My initial react leaving the theater was "oh thats it?"

So overall I think this movie will keep the franchise going and showed what makes these movies great.it was disappointing to die hard fans with the lack of cohesive story telling to what came before but this is a film we can all get excited about. Bring on Saw XI!!!

ReBroken (2023)

Lots of fake reviews on this one

[2/10 · 15 September 2023]

ReBroken tells the story of a man who is suffering grief and is spiraling out of control, and his grief counseling sessions which appear to have nefarious intentions.

I watched this movie for the same reason most people probably will- the incomparable Tobin Bell. However I left thinking why on earth would he agree to do this one? The story is cliche to no end (If I have to hear about following 'the path' one more time..) We are either in group therapy or at his home . No mention of a job or other activities to make this story feel alive. It is very psychological but not in a way that was interesting to me.

I typically don't go too hard on low budget films cause the act of getting a film made is so difficult. This site has many amazing reviews of this film. If you look they come from accounts that have either only reviewed this movie, or this movie and "the path " which also stars this movie's lead. It is deceitful and that isn't fair to dup people. Know what your getting: A cheap, cliche ridden drama with uneven acting and minimal suspense. It is a pass.

Killer Book Club (2023)

Not quite Scream so... Loud Yell.

[4/10 · 15 September 2023]

Killer Book Club tells the story of a group of friends who are stalked by a killer after committing an act of violence.

I marked this as spoilers but it doesn't have many- this won't ruin the film but I do discuss the direction the film goes.

Now If you stopped me halfway through the film and asked me to rate it, i would honestly have said a solid 8. The group of friends is semi believable, the mystery od who or what is commiting these murders is compelling enough. Boy the last act and especially the ending completely ruin the forward momentum they had going for it. This probably is in the running for worst in 2023 because it is a complete rip off of Scream. Like at one point I am like "oh okay this is kind of a rip off" but the final scene is like "hoollllyyy crap it is directly stolen." Don't know why it was even green lit.

The movie is a teen movie and cheesy on purpose. It is filled with intentionally stupid character decisions (I am being stalked by a killer so therefore I will isolate myself and not have a weapon.) At the beginning it almost makes sense. The problem is as this movie barrels on it turns to "dumb kids " to "this is intentionally bad" and it isn't a comedy to give it a reason to be.

So the beginning is intriguing but goes less than nowhere. Skip this one. It is a lesser Scream so "Loud Yell" should have probably been the title.

Twisted Neighbor (2023)

Soap Opera without any Suds

[2/10 · 5 September 2023]

Twisted Neighbor is a story about an outsider who moves into a nosy neighborhood with stereotypical overbearing HOA families. A murder takes place and our protagonist takes it upon herself to solve it.

This movie feels so muddled down it is hard to describe. This movies characters are not real people but just walking and talking plot elements. Not a single person in the entire neighborhood has any children. They are rude, one sided, flat and unlikable so that each one will be a possible suspect- and for no other apparent reason. At one point the police are called and the entire neighborhood is outside within 30 seconds. Not a single person was busy. Because of this it almost feels like a parody at times and I don't think that is in intention.

This movie also has a PG to PG13 rating that sanitizes a lot of intense moments, specially with the dialogue. I think the story could lead to some "adult" elements but stops halfway and it leaves it dull and uninteresting because of the terrible writing.

Overall this is a hard skip for most people who use IMdB and a watch for people whose top 10 movies of all time are lifetime originals. Terrible writing, awful characters and an underwhelming plot will leave most viewers wishing they never moved into this neighborhood.

Untold: Johnny Football (2023) Season 3, Episode 2

Feels like half a documentary

[5/10 · 11 August 2023]

Johnny Manziel is a polarizing character in the sports world so it makes sense that his documentary would bw too. The rise of Manziel was very well done. Pacing is well done, Manziel is very charismatic and take's from his handlers, his parents, his coaches including a ton from Kliff Kingsbury was usually gripping, funny and entertaining.

Why this doesn't work if the breakdown of his time with the Browns feels very rushed compared to his time at Texas A&M. They went from covering to Game by Game to not covering a single game. Then his CFL and other football endeavors after he was kicked out of the NFL went completely uncovered.,This is such a big part of his legacy (he was demoted to 4th string QB on the Hamilton Tigercats) and it is not even touched upon., This documentary feels like it came out in 20165 in that regard which is disappointing.

This then comes off as feeling like a ego boosting puff piece for a guys whose ego doesn't need one. So ultimately I did enjoy what i got here, the tone seems really off. It is not a good piece of journalism but it get me entertained. Throw in some fun celebrity cameos and it isn't a terrible watch .., but not a must watch.

The Tutor (2023)

If the Razzies had an for bafflingly bad character decisions...

[3/10 · 17 July 2023]

The Tutor tells the story of a high school tutor who works with the Elite's children who begins being stalked by one of his students.

This movie contains some of the worst character decisions of any movie I have ever seen. It completely ruins the movie and there were a few points where I nearly turned it off with just yelling at the screen like WHAT?!? The police are only involved when the plot needs them to be. They are also shown as bumbling idiots throughout who take a citizens word for something in lieu of investigation.

None of the characters are all that likable, and wildly inconsistent. Also their are mystery elements that are not solvable with the information which makes for cheap reveals for the same of being ... a twist.

I don't think the performances were terrible, the beginning is entertaining enough. It is just completely held down by terrible plot conveniences and baffling character choices. Skip.

The Out-Laws (2023)

This movie has been made so many times

[4/10 · 17 July 2023]

The Out-Laws tells the story of a bank manager who suspects his in-laws may be secretly criminals.

There are several issues I have with the film- the first being how unoriginal it was. I think Meet the Parents is the most famous rip off, but there are others including "The Inlaws" and "You People" which just came out earlier this year. A few details are changed but you could spell out many plot points well before they happen. You combine that with the lot of missed humor throughout lifted from any other Adam Sandler movie and you just get a big plate of meh.

The plot holes are distractingly massive and the movie isn't funny enough to cover them up. Adam Devine's character is also a PG13 protagonist stuck in a R rated movie. This greats such eye roll at many points in the story where they want you to laugh at the "fish out of water" scenario and I just screamed "that wouldn't happen!" Also many many actors are forced to overact (Lauren Lapkus provides a textbook "will the director please help her out some cause shes going to win a razzie for this" type of performance."

Overall the movie isn't funny or original enough to warrant your attention. Their is some times I laughed but for the most part this is made for background viewing.

The Mother (2023)

It took 3 writers to come up with all these clichés?

[3/10 · 12 May 2023]

The mother tells the story of a hardened ex war veteran on the run from a dangerous past lover, only to be forced out of action to protect the daughter she was asked to abandon.

The big issue with this movie is it feels like it is straight of out 1993 without any 90s charm. It is filled with cheesy "poetic" one liners, uninteresting and indestructible characters, and a lame uninspired ending. The bruises shown don't match the violence we see.

The pacing is fine and the actors do what they can with what they are given. Jennifer Lopez is honestly acting her butt off in my opinion-the movie is just terrible and I only fault her for doing this movie in the first place. There are some really good action scenes, but also some that made me audibly laugh out loud. It wants to be grounded in reality sometimes but then takes us completely out of it at others. The lack of consistency is just one of many issues.

The crazy thing to me is I am just not sure how it took three writers to come up with this movie. It is uninspired, unoriginal and a another failure from Netflix.

Clock (2023)

Candidate for the most offensive movie I have ever seen

[1/10 · 29 April 2023]

Clock tells the story of a happy woman in her late 30s being pressured by everyone in her life to have a baby so she takes measures to do so.

So first off , I have friends and family who have struggled with fertility and I myself lost a child to SIDS. I have strong convictions coming into this movie that babies are not for everyone.

This movie is full of smug disgusting propaganda about what a woman is worth in our world, and what happiness is supposed to be. The entire movie is friends and family harassing and abusing our main character and it is just a one trick pony throughout. Don't expect any dialogue that is about ANYTHING else. I think there were some positive elements here but it was impossible to enjoy any of it when muddling around in this miserable alternate reality. Taking the whole film into account I do believe I know what they were going for, but its a giant swing and miss.

This is a hard pass from me!

Sorry About the Demon (2022)

Sorry about the lack of scares

[6/10 · 21 January 2023]

"Sorry About The Demon" tells the story of a recently dumped screw up who moves into a haunted house with a very goofy demon intent on finding a human host.

I think someone's enjoyment of this movie will be completely dependent on how you feel about this movie's tone. It goes for laughs nearly every time you expect it to go for scares. It isn't scary, and it really isn't that funny but the jokes and wit are consistent throughout and I laughed out loud of a few times. I grew to like what they were going for, even though it needed better writing and characters to grab the brass ring. The effects were poor and it's poor production budget shows through at times but never took me completely out of the story due to the nature of the story. However if you go into this story wanting horror - you picked the wrong movie.

Overall I'm glad films like this can get made because they are different and fun, even though this film is just an average attempt at a horror comedy. I think it's worth a watch with the correct expectations and have some fun with it.

The Drop (I) (2022)

No movie will try harder to make you laugh

[3/10 · 14 January 2023]

The Drop tells the story of 4 couples at a destination wedding when one friend drops a baby. The movie will then spend most of the runtime in the fall out of this and the wedding after.

Mark Duplass is one of my favorite film makers/actors and when I saw him promote this, I figured I'd give it a shot. The story itself is dreadfully written. The movie itself has been done many times where a group of couples have a weekend together and compare their relationships for one reason or another. I feel like the writer thought wouldn't it be just hilarious if the reason was that someone dropped a child? No not really it turns out.

The characters are remarkably unlikeable. Most are selfish , one demential narcissistic and have terrible chemistry with each other. The entire story itself is so shallow it doesn't justify the movie's gimmick. This isn't a dark comedy and most of the humor comes from sex jokes. Some work, most don't and thinking back I can think of 4-5 times I laughed out loud. With so many desperate jokes though it has a very low hit rate and it takes away from the things that actually do work.

Overall due to the terrible plot, shallow writing and characters this makes for a dreadful and pointless movie. There are some laughable moments but they are pancaked in by udder dreadfulness. Drop this entire movie from your que.

Good Wife's Guide to Murder (2023)

Good Wife? Bad Movie.

[3/10 · 13 January 2023]

"Good Wife's Guide to Murder" follows Lenore, a podcaster who specializes in wives killing their husbands and teaches people how they can get away with it. One day she finds her husband dead and she naturally becomes the prime suspect.

Being a Tubi original , I naturally had very low expectations for this film. The thing was, despite some cringy dialogue, this film did have some things going for it. Most performances were decent for this type of thing. Shaun Benson stood out as the cop investigating the murder.

Things really fall apart after the initial set up. First-her lawyer and her agent are the same person which I think happened because they couldn't afford another actor. The plot conveniences drive the entire story forward, there are so many tired cliches scattered throughout it will make your head spin. You have your standard crosses, double crosses and twists but none of them felt earned or even made sense based on the characterization they had set up. I also found the ending to be extremely obvious and would imagine most people will as well. It wasn't even fun to play along and figure it out because so much of it felt so random.

Overall I think the writer completely missed on what makes these movies fun for people. While some performances are fun in their own way, terrible dialogue, plot devices and originality make this movie a hard skip.

Death Count (2022)

It's Murder

[2/10 · 11 December 2022]

Death Count tells the story of 8 people who are captured and forced to play a game to try to survive. There is a B plot following the police trying to stop the game.

This film features some of the worst acting I have ever seen in my life. Many actors look like they are reading off of que cards or put no emphasis or emotion into what they are saying. Acting vet Michael Madsen was equally as bad as any of anyone else. Completely phoning in the rule as a flat stereotypical cop.

Outside of our lead, the characters are mostly all extremely stupid, vulgar and/or a meat bag. It's hard to root for any of these people. Sarah French as #3 may be the only exception for this movie.

The film is also very cheap, the shots look cheap. Most of the special effects are so bad the camera cuts away immediately. It was very apparent they had no money to make this. Some of the violence is creative/gruesome but overall it's so cheap that often times I ended up rolling my eyes.

Overall the movie is so cheap, unoriginal with acting you would expect to see a middle school play. It is not worth your time frankly.

Fantasy Football (2022)

I wanted to like it more than I did

[5/10 · 1 December 2022]

Fantasy Football tells the story of a daughter who can control her 11 year veteran NFL player father on the football field by playing with him virtually in Madden on XBox.

First I will say as big Atlanta Falcons fan - I had to watch this movie but I am clearly not the demographic they are going for. This film is very family friendly touching on themes of teamwork, family, empathy, being humble and self confidence. In fact it really isn't about football what-so-ever other than that's the medium this story is told. The core of the story is the father and daughter's relationship and how he deals with her growing up and wanting to like her own life. The football elements are notability weak and some of the big moments found in other sports movies are completely skipped over.

The acting is hit and miss to put it lightly. The lead Marsai Martin is very good as the daughter. She is sweet and intelligent and she's played terrifically. 48 year old Omari Hardwick as the dad feels very mis-cast to me. He looks too old for a young 30s running back and I never once get the athlete vibe from him. Rome Flynn plays the "antagonist" as the running back who loses his job to Hardwick, and I also think he feels miscast. He's snotty, one demential and intentionally not likable. I did love seeing the best tight end of all time Tony Gonzalez as the head coach- I am not sure he is believe either but I loved seeing him on screen, unlike many other characters.

The end of the movie is sweet and satisfying but the middle is frustrating and just drags. It's very clear where this story is going- heck even the kids can probably guess- and it chugs along at a snail's pace. I nearly didn't finish because of this , though I was ultimately glad I finished it.

So I have probably already put more serious thought into this film than the film makers ever intended anyone to do. It's a good background spirt of football and family type film- but it's not exactly new or compelling. It isn't for hardcore fans , but if you want something uplifting with good themes- you could do worse.

Smile (V) (2022)

Smile - You're on Camera!

[8/10 · 27 November 2022]

Smile tells the story of a therapist who witnesses a patient's suicide and then a "curse" that seemingly begins as a result.

First off - this is a story you have probably seen before. It takes elements from "Truth or Dare", "Drag me to Hell", "The Ring" "It follows" ect where we have a main character fighting against time/a curse who is made to seem crazy to everyone else.

That being said - this movie is extremely well done. The visuals are terrific, some of the scares in this movies are legitimately brilliant. They never got cheesy (and it really could be with this gimmick) and I was genuinely scared/creeped out at several points. It is a great movie to turn the lights out for and get into it. It felt like they made this movie for an adult audience, not a teen demographic and it really helps the movie feel real and much more scary.

There is also some great character work here. We have a protagonist who is easy to root for and well written. The movie isn't filled with dumb decisions or characters who you can't wait to get killed off. It's grounded, realistic and you end up properly invested in what you are watching.

So overall this is not ground breaking but it's very well done and makes a great midnight watch!