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Reviews
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)
Did I Watch Something Else?
Absolutely boring, out of date rubbish. Toro's attempt at cashing in on the current fad of 80's horror style falls sadly flat.
Great effects. Great casts. Great atmospherics. All let down by banal, weird scripts. The stories never really go anywhere and leave you questioning what you just wasted your time watching.
It should have been called 'The emperor's new cabinet of clothes'. All style and no content. Especially episode 7.
Did I watch a different series to these other 'reviewers', or should I say 'bribed contributors'. No sane or sober mind would have given this rubbish more than a couple of stars. It tarnishes Del Toro's otherwise decent reputation.
Stairs (2019)
AKA Awful
This film is distributed under several names; 'The Ascent' AKA 'Stairs' AKA 'Black Ops'. Probably done so the unweary accidentally watch this God awful film twice. A psychological drama that certainly plays with the mind. It certainly disturbed mine.😒
Alien Convergence (2017)
Alien Crapiness
So our normal hardened pro pilots cannot fight the aliens because the aliens emit a signal that 'messes with their heads'. So, of course you need thought-controlled aircraft? And pro pilots aren't good enough to fly them, so cue a 12 year old 'seasoned vet' and her friends with disabilities. I think you can write the rest.
This film insults everyone's intelligence.
San Andreas Mega Quake (2019)
Embarrasing
You can actually see the actors cringing at their own acting. It's like they try to act, but the director tells them it's too good and they need to turn it back a notch.
The word stereotype is just too weak for these characters:
A grizzled gung-ho marine commander - check.
Two younger hero marines, one female - check.
The main macho hero - check.
A blonde bimbo - check.
Throw in lots of hoorahs - check.
Chuck in any old dubious story where they all almost get killed several times - check.
Add some dodgy CGI - check.
Absolutely tedious and embarrasing for all concerned. Watch some paint drying instead.