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El búfalo de la noche (2007)
Biggest disaster in Mexican cinema in years
Guillermo Arriaga, writer of Amores Perros, 21 Grams and Babel, returns to Mexico to deliver what can easily be called the biggest disaster in Mexican cinema in years, The Night Buffalo, with Diego Luna in the leading role and a plot involving a schizophrenic man (Gabriel Gonzalez), who commits suicide after his girlfriend (Liz Gallardo) cheats on him with his best friend (Luna).
The Night Buffalo, a very promising film, supposedly going to give new light to Mexican cinema fails to impress and even throws our country back a few steps with its awfulness. After the vomit inducing, yet inexplicable box office success KM 31, I was more than ready to experience an upgrade in film-making, what I got was a major letdown, a pointless awkward "drama" filled with unnecessary sex and nudity that was surprisingly close to become a porn flick.
I don't understand Arriaga's screenplay... so, he actually wrote all the sex scenes? Wow, what a pervert. The whole film was completely pointless, if I wanted to see Diego Luna nude and screwing around with the whole cast, well there are better films where you can see that. It appears like the filmmakers made the film for the sole reason of watching everyone naked, the movie was about 2 hours long and one of them was sex. So yeah, there are artistic ways of showing nudity and some scripts need it, but this movie didn't need any, it had an interesting plot itself, but it didn't move an inch from the synopsis, nothing interesting ever happened in the film and even after the rushed and ridiculous ending, I was still waiting for something, ANYTHING, to make my time spent on the theater worth it.
The movie was unfocused, what was it's objective? The main plot was misused, I was interested in the schizophrenic character, but instead of developing him, they show him naked! And apparently that's the answer to every single question in the film, as none of the characters gets any development, not that we care about what happens to them since they are all worth hating, but at least we expect something to occur. The Night Buffalo should have focused in its audience, their need for an interesting, thrilling, suspenseful story, or maybe just focus on the title's premise shall we? Nothing, we get some nonsense lines here and there, but nothing solid ever sees the light.
Diego Luna's role was probably one of the characters I've most hated in all cinema history, how are we supposed to care for a character that betrayed his best friend sleeping with his girlfriend, and then betrayed her, sleeping with his best friend's sister, which is another blow towards his friend, who I can understand wants to kill himself being surrounded by such a disgusting bunch of people. Yuck, this was plain terrible, nothing to save from the film, everything felt awkward and unnecessary, boring as hell and one of the worst movies I've had the displeasure to see. Arriaga has just bought himself a ticket to Crapville, enjoy your stay.
Hostel: Part II (2007)
Increased gore, decreased storyline, a sick letdown overall
Eli Roth is talented, Cabin Fever, his first work, is a horror comedy I enjoy and own, there's no doubt that Roth's work has a specific crude violent mark, lots of blood and gore fill Roth's resume, specially on his latest films, Hostel and Hostel Pt. II. While most found Hostel to be a bunch of porn/torture garbage, I actually found it to be an original add to the horror genre, disliking the first half of the film and enjoying the second one, the horror one. This sequel, promised to increase the quality of its predecessor and dig more into the world of the sick people behind the torture and killing business. Sadly, the movie is not an improvement.
Pt. 2 begins just after Pt. 1 ended, following Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and his escape from death. Meanwhile, 3 American college students (Lauren German, Heather Matarazzo and Bijou Phillips) take a detour from their "studying" and end up trapped by the same twisted world that once terrorized our male characters in Hostel. Also, Pt. 2 follows two American men, who, on the other side, end up paying to get into the sick club.
First off, let me express my immense disappointment of how the poor Paxton character was treated in the sequel, I would have definitely liked more from him and that is definitely a start of what ended up being a rather underwhelming sequel. Of course, the same sadist torture horror is back with Part 2, so there shouldn't be any complain with the gore and blood amount that Roth once again delivers, even do it's less this time around. However, now that we have been introduced to the twisted world of Hostel and we are used to the storyline, what Roth presents us this time is nothing more than uninteresting, he shows us how it works, and some of that information is appreciated, but most of it it's rather unnecessary, which brings me to my complaint in the film: the 2 American men.
The add of those 2 characters to the film is, in my opinion, the biggest mistake made by Roth. They're both incredibly annoying; their trip is mostly distracting from the main storyline with the girls and ends up being a waste of time when it reaches its conclusion. Now, the girls are the only redeeming aspect of the film, their characters, while not being nothing out of common (like the ones in Pt.1), are entertaining and even fun to watch, which is a thumbs up for the 3 female actresses. The main interest in the film is, let's face it, the characters' doom. One of them, the blood bath, is by far the best scene in the film, sick, obviously, but also chilling and very disturbing, delivering enough blood and gore for the horror thirsty audience.
Still, too much of something can go wrong, and Roth just crosses the line with a certain thing done to a male character in the film; it's just too much for the audience and it's clearly the most disgusting thing I've seen in theaters, I honestly felt like throwing up all over the couple sitting in front of me and I have no idea how the filmmakers actually skipped the NC-17 rating for this one.
All in all, Hostel Pt. 2 may deliver the sadistic and the now called torture porn that the first one gave us in big amounts, but stays stuck in the same level as in the first one, the only difference is that we've seen this before, but with male characters, which decreases the originality of the film. Pt. 2 was going well, until it hits its doom near the end, with those 2 American men destroying my attention on the movie. However, the film may still stand for fans of the first one and for a couple of good scenes, it just didn't work out for me, as it ended up being more bad than good; hopefully Roth will leave the Hostel franchise and focus on something else to amplify his disturbing talent.
Epic Movie (2007)
Worst. Movie. Ever.
I had read everywhere that this movie was awful, complete c**p. Well I still watched it, I guess I had to see to believe, and while expecting a funny parody of recent films I somehow got an even WORSE film than what I was told it was.
Apparently the writers of this "thing" suddenly forgot what was actually funny and inserted a bunch of disgusting, unfunny, painful jokes that just induced vomit to the audience. But believe me, anyone who saw those film should get a medal, because to stand the whole picture, for 1 hour 33 minutes, you gotta have guts. Watching it is torture, as simple as that.
Probably the worst script ever, and the most stupid and lame acting in years are only some of the millions of flaws that invade Epic Movie and make it easily the worst comedy ever made. Arghhh... an insult to human intelligence and cinema... please don't watch it... I think you are better off renting The Cave actually... I can't believe I just said that...
Millions (2004)
An imaginative film from the amazing mind of Danny Boyle
From director Danny Boyle comes Millions, a movie about a 5 year old boy who finds a bag filled with pounds just a few days before the money currency is changed to euros.
I've always admired Boyle and his work since I saw 28 Days Later, and as you all know, I'm pretty excited about his most recent upcoming film, Sunshine, which couldn't possibly look better. I was still lacking to see Millions from this director, and after all the great things I had heard, I couldn't let get away the chance to see it.
Millions was amazing. Since the beginning, I knew I was in for a special ride and I sure was. What makes Millions so special is that you get to enter Damian's (Alex Etel) imagination, you see what he sees and thinks, how he reacts when he finds the money and what he wants to do with it, and at the same time, all this things on his older brother Anthony (Lewis McGibbon) and the adults in the film. You get to compare the innocent mind of a child to the older ones. And the result is simply fantastic.
An splendid screenplay and fantastic performances from both Alex and Lewis make Millions' message and plot come to life and fill us with joy. A joy that'll stay with you even after you finish watching the film and that will come back every time you remember it. It's fun, it's emotional and it's unique, a very different work from Boyle that proves this guy can do anything he wants and make it work in every possible way. Very recommended.
Little Children (2006)
Strong, disturbing and most important: brilliant
2006 was an outstanding year for movies, few can deny that, we got our comedies, our horrors, our action packed films, and also, we got our dramas. I have always been a fan of strong drama films, so Little Children was a film that I was pretty sure I would like a lot. You just name a film with a strong screenplay and mind blowing performances and I'm in. As simple as that.
Little Children accomplishes everything we can ask for in a drama, and it does it in a brilliant way, it's a film that definitely causes an impact in the audience, it makes them think about the characters and their actions, it makes them care, it makes them happy at times, angry at others and of course, sad too. There are times were the audience will certainly feel uncomfortable, but that is also an achievement in Little Children,it's shocking from the beginning to the last single scene.
Once Little Children gets your attention, there's no way out. This is thanks to the outstanding screenplay by Todd Field (who also directed) and Tom Perrotta, which is just brilliant. Also (and this is the biggest highlight), the acting. Kate Winslet delivers once again a perfect performance proving that she simply is the best actress currently working. Another actor that deserves a praise is Patrick Wilson, a guy I gotta admit I had never seen before until this last year, in which he gave two of the best performances of 2006, one in Hard Candy and the other one in this one. Watch out for Patrick Wilson people! Because he is definitely going to be big.
But what would Little Children be without Jackie Earle Haley? Haley was definitely the one who stole the movie with a disturbing performance that will make you shiver, truly one of the best acting we've seen in the last years.
I only had one complain for Little Children and that was the ending. I won't say much about it, because I don't want to spoil the movie for you guys, the only thing I'll say, is that I felt like it all happened too quickly. Just like BAM! ...there goes the ending. Besides that, Little Children is a dramatic masterpiece that shocks, disturbs, and entertains with a brilliant screenplay; a film that cannot be missed by anyone, very recommended.
KM 31: Kilómetro 31 (2006)
There are worse things than death... yes, this movie
Kilometro 31 has a plot that, well, to be honest, we've all seen or heard before, which is very sad, because the movie actually seemed to have potential.
After a few minutes of watching the film, I figured out that it was going to be like "La Monja" meets "The Grudge", which definitely can't be good. What went wrong with the film was the script, it was just so unoriginal that you couldn't believe it, a haunted street, a ghost kid scaring people off, a creepy woman warning people, we had all seen that before. Besides that, the actors were miscast, as I found the leading actress a bit annoying, and the supporting actors quite laughable.
Now, to the bright spot, the direction was great, we got some great shots and also some bright visuals. Also, the movie was actually scary in some parts, obviously creepy and with a couple of jump scenes. Maybe if they had come up with a different story, this film would have been amazing, but they used the old and used ghost story that is just not cute anymore. I could only recommend Kilometro 31 to lovers of the horror genre, even do I think it will be almost impossible to find it for those who don't live in Mexico, like Efectos Secundarios. But if you do find it, and you are a big horror fan, give it a shot, you might enjoy it.
Children of Men (2006)
A brilliant apocalyptic masterpiece
Yes, I watched Children of Men. To my surprise this movie premiered here in Mexico very early and I was one of the lucky ones to watch this fantastic apocalyptic film. With an amazing direction by Alfonso Cuarón, Children of Men is a science fiction film set in the future where the whole world is in chaos and humanity is at the board of extinction because every woman in the planet has become unfertil, and the youngest person on the planet has just died. Then when all hopes seem lost, a girl gets pregnant, holding the key to salvation.
Children of Men is one of those movies that make you sad, because yes, there are lots of scenes were your heart just breaks, but also (and this is what makes the movie fantastic), when you think everything is lost, a light of hope and joy emerges from the darkest time. Alfonso Cuarón achieves this in the most incredible way with marvellous visuals and special effects and with an amazing script, that never fails to shock and succeed.
To Cuarón's amazing direction, joins Clive Owen's perfect performance. Owen is more than excellent in the male leading role, demonstrating that he indeed deserved that Oscar nomination in 2004 for Closer. This is definitely his best work, and he is also my personal pick for Best Actor of 2006. Joining the cast is also Juliane Moore and Michael Caine (who brings a very charming and funny character to the film), also one of the best actors of the year. And last, but not least, we have newcomer Claire-Hope Ashitey, who gives a very powerful performance.
Children of Men is not only the best drama picture we've seen this year, but also one of the best movies of our time. It leaves us a message that we'll never forget, and teaches us that there's always hope, no matter how bad things can look. This is a film that won't be ignored, and that deserves a look from each and everyone of you.
Babel (2006)
A powerful, moving and emotional film
"Babel", like "21 Grams" tells the stories of different people whose lives interlace as the movie goes forward. This time, it's caused by two Moroccan boys accidentally shoot a bus and hit an American tourist.
This last work from Iñarritú looks a lot like "21 Grams" in so many ways, specially the soundtrack, which is almost the same, and gives a sad atmosphere to the film. But this time, the stories don't interlace as well you might expect and some loose ends remain, when at some parts of the movie it leaves you hanging, just were it starts getting more interesting.
The most remarkable thing from the film is definitely the acting, which was Oscar worthy, specially from Adriana Barraza and the Moroccan boys, who in my opinion were fantastic. Also Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett bring us powerful performances that shine on screen on every scene of the movie. New star Rinko Kikuchi, also delivers an impressive performance as the disturbed young character. Gael García Bernal also makes a great job, even do he doesn't get a lot of screen time.
But my big complain from the film was the lack of dramatic scenes, because you feel sad during the whole film, but every time you were at the edge of your seat on a story, they change to another one in a glimpse, which gets you out of your mood. The most powerful story for me was the one with the nanny (Adriana Barraza) and the American kids, closely followed by the Moroccan boys story. And my least favorite, the Japanese one, which wasn't bad, but didn't reached the level of interest as the other 3 stories did.
As a result, Babel is a very powerful movie that shocks, entertains and saddens the audience, but lacks in effectiveness and closure. Some of the best performances of the year are here, and to see that, you have to watch this movie, that is also, one of the best films of the year.
964 Pinocchio (1991)
What a disgusting mess for a movie!
******SPOILERS AHEAD*******
Do you want to know what horror crap is? YOU Don't WANNA KNOW! So, I'll tell you a funny story. It was a rainy afternoon, we were kind of sad because there wasn't any movies that we liked, so we went to Blockbuster, after picking The Descent we were getting ready to go when BOOM! My eyes turn to a movie, in the art section (how the hell did that got there?), the image shows me an ugly Japanese guy with a funny orange hair, and I say "hey, whats that?" so I turn the case and I read the synopsis and it says its a Japanese horror movie, so I say, "hey, should we check this out?" and one of my friends answers "hell yeah!". And thats how we made the worst mistake of our lives.
Soon, we started watching the movie, the first minutes were random images, sex images, and we were like "Man, did we rented a porn?". Right after those """"hot"""" scenes the movie shows us this Asian girl seated on the street and the funny hair man running towards her. After 10 *bleep* minutes of watching the guy running (I mean it, 10 minutes), this guy starts like becoming mustard or something, and the girl goes crazy, she starts like dancing and then she stops and starts... puking... everywhere, leaving her... stuff ... all over the place... UGH is so painful writing this... Well apparently Pinocchio was a sex cyborg designed for girls who wanted to have fun, yeah that sounds so bad... and he escaped from the cyborg facility and apparently became a monster or something and... well let me tell you the ending, because I don't think anyone will ever see this.
****SUPER SPOILERS****** At the end, the girl starts screaming at Pinocchio "DIE, DIE" and then, they both scream and she rips her face off (yes, her face) and a new head grows from her neck... some gray horrible huge ugly face... and then Pinocchio grabs that face and cuts it off, and then he places that head in himself. THE END. WUARGGHHHHH!!! ******SUPER SPOILERS-END*******
Ugh, is the most disgusting, stupid, weird, sexual, insulting, and extremely gross movie I have ever seen. There is nothing good about it, my friends and I were screaming like little girls disgusted when we saw those two freaks playing with their tongues and when the girl started eating her vomit. I mean, if you don't feel disgusted right now...
If I could give this a zero, I would, but, I cant, so here it is: "1"