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Reviews
Stranger Things (2016)
Excellent Show
The first season was 10/10. I can't quite articulate what's been lost in seasons 2 and 3. The mystery I think? Part of the horror was watching people struggle against an unknown enemy - a single unknown enemy, another of season 2's downfalls. Also the fact that the children, teens, and adults were initially separate, fighting the same problem but with slightly different stakes and information, was really fun to watch in the first season. None of this is to say later seasons were bad (though 3 was better than 2), but they don't live up to the brilliance of the first season
Supernatural (2005)
What Happened?
The first five seasons were brilliant. If the show had ended there? 10/10. But dear god it's gone downhill. I stuck with it until season 11, but they just started jumping the shark again and again and I couldn't stay watching. The show has outlived itself, and almost ruined what was once one of the best horror dramas on TV
Megalodon (2018)
Exceeded My Low Expectations
Possibly Asylum's best film. Bad dialogue, dodgy characters, director has clearly never spoken to a member of the Navy. Yet, they built tension pretty well, the plot escalated, characters got out of their problems in ways that make sense. Once you get over realism points (this is a film about a massive killer shark, after all), you have an alright, enjoyable movie that I would personally watch again.
The 7 Adventures of Sinbad (2010)
What?
I was quite ill when I watched this and half believe I hallucinated it. Two stars for the giant crab stealing a briefcase of money
Cats (2019)
How Did You Mess Up This Bad?
There are several things that make the stage musical so enjoyable. It's got brilliant dance scenes, heart wrenching songs, impressive stage effects, costumes, and makeup. The plot really doesn't matter, and just serves as a devise to hear the songs and see the dances, but repeat viewers can find the relationships between the cats, and work out their histories and roles in the community. The movie decided to not include any of this. The editting during the dance numbers made them feel like a distraction from something else - I was focussed on the backgrounds and the fact that they were dancing, not the actual moves. The songs were turned into pop numbers, losing much of the emotion and making the emotion they did remember to include so over the top it felt insensere. The CGI was horrific and distracting. The jokes didn't work. I wish I could even laugh at it but I spent most of the movie bored out of my mind - please give me back my £4.50
6-Headed Shark Attack (2018)
It Could Be Worse
It's a lot more enjoyable than both 2 and 3 headed shark attack. Haven't seen 5. The actors are surprisingly decent, on the whole. But I can't get over how far they've stretched this franchise. Did the first 3 films really make enough bank to justify a fourth? Are they going to stop at this? Where will it end??
Terrordactyl (2016)
Terrible, but so fun!
Hilarious premise, overall funny movie. The acting isn't great, but you can largely blame the script for that. Lots of gags don't land, the CGI is questionable, I'm not even going to go into the science, or the concept that only one character had ever heard of a pterodactyl, or knew that a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs. So why is this film so hilarious? I have no idea. Objectively it should be awful but now all I want to do is watch it again.