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Reviews
The Highwayman (2022)
Almost bad enough to be good
The fun starts in the opening scene. The Highwayman hero, brandishing a flintlock pistol, stands in the road as a coach approaches. As the coach comes into view, the highwayman fires his pistol into the air (a warning shot, no doubt) then he points the pistol at the coach and demands, "Your money or your life!" He has already spent his load! 18th century flintlocks were not repeating firearms. What kind of highwayman threatens a victim with an empty gun? THIS kind of nonsensically written, low-budget, poorly acted highwayman is the kind of hero that almost entertains in this shoddy piece of almost funny escapism.
The film makers try hard but just do not achieve Ed Wood standards of humor. The sets are a bit too tidy, and the actors lack that sense of devotion to the material despite the odds that could have made this a true gem, like say, Beretta's Island. Rather, it just muddles along, content with its own mediocrity, failing to rise to the genuine entertainment of a truly bad movie.
The Ledge (2022)
Serviceable Entertainment
Cheap thrills if you will, but this film is not too bad a way to spend 86 minutes if you you just want to sit back and enjoy an indi thriller. The first good omen was the opening sound track: decent dramatic instrumental score as opposed to so much indi inclination to cringe-worthy singer/song-writer slop. The acting is adequate; no Gary Oldman or Tilda Swinton, in fact nobody you've likely ever seen or heard of before but the performers are competent. Some low budget indis I will quit after 10 or 15 minutes because the actors are bottom tier, but not in this case. The plot is simple but not stupid. The action moves along, predictably, yes, but entertainingly nonetheless. This is not high art, nor is it total schlock. It's a perfectly comfortable way to spend an entertaining, if not enlightening, hour and a bit.
Stowaway (2021)
Goofus and Gallant
Goofus blasts off into space blithely assuming that nothing could possibly go wrong. Gallant ensures that his missions have back up systems and contingency plans.
Forsaken (2015)
Nothing New but Well Done
There is nothing original or particularly remarkable in this template- following production. On the other hand, there is nothing weak or obviously objectionable about it either. It is actually quite well done, for what it is, which is nothing special. It follows the formula with confidence and without shame. I am, actually, inspired to be moved by such a stereotypical western in the year 2016.
That said, "Forsaken" is no "Unforgiven", a masterpiece to which it owes a great deal and to which it offers an obvious nod. Nevertheless, it is certainly not a waste of time. The pairing of father and son actors to play father and son characters may well be a blatant marketing ploy, but it really does work. Also, I always find it fun to see 50-something women play convincing romantic roles. Say what you will about Demi Moore, but in my opinion, she's still looking better than good. Old Donald Sutherland is still quite functional as well.
Condemned (2015)
Not nearly as bad as IMDb consensus has it
This is a very well shot horror comedy with a nice sense of the absurd. The cinematography is far above average. The story is standard zombie pap, but delivered with an atmosphere that catches a certain fancy, rewards attention to detail, and reminded me of "Rec" (the original Spanish version 2007,) and Dan O'Bannon's "The Return of the Living Dead " (1985.)
I didn't realize, until I checked out the IMDb page after watching the movie, that the lead girl was Sean Penn's daughter. She was pretty impressive... attractive in a tough sort of way... kind of ugly-cute like her father. She most certainly grasped my attention and delivered a compelling performance.
This is not a bad film.(Of course, it's not a great film,) But it is well worth a watch. It has a definite grounded attitude, sense of the absurd, and a cool, (but admittedly gross,) visual style. It well deserves at least double the 3.5 rating in its IDMB main page.
The Cloth (2013)
An Unfortunate Mess
I watched this because Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts are in it. It's not like these two are master thespians or anything, but I find them likable enough, even in B movies. ("B" as in "low Budget" or just plain "Bad".) Trejo and Roberts have small parts, with screen time probably totaling less than 10 minutes between them. Eric Roberts seems to be sleepwalking, stoned, or both. The rest of the cast are unrelentingly horrible, either chewing the scenery or mumbling like blocks of wood blessed with the gift of speech.
The dialog is stilted, juvenile, and lacks both wit and sense. The plot, involving a secret society of exorcists battling demons, is inane and vacuous. This idea has been done before a few times: Constantine 2005, Hellboy 2004, The Ninth Gate 1999, for example. All of these, although there is not a masterpiece among them, are infinitely better than this poor offering.
The special effects are incredibly bad, something that is pretty hard to achieve with today's cheap computer graphic technology. It is often impossible to tell what is supposed to be going on with all the random flashes of colored light and moving shots of geological formations. The camera work is amazingly unskillful. In one of Eric Roberts' few scenes, he's talking to a priest whose head is out of frame at eye level.
I wish there were something positive I could say about The Cloth. Oh... there is something; it put my wife, who has been suffering from insomnia recently, to sleep.