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thomasgulch
Reviews
Sherlock: The Reichenbach Fall (2012)
absolutely brilliant
One character I had continuously underestimated was Jim Moriarty. I think that Jimmy boy was quite possibly even brighter then was Holmes, but also was undeniably insane. James was taking on Sherlock because he considered Sherlock as intelligent as he was and jousted with Holmes as a form of distraction from the mundane boredom and stupidity of everyday existence. He even mocks Holmes for believing in the possibility of a few lines of computer code as a universal key into any encryption. Moriarty even hunches and walks a few steps mocking Sherlock as being a caveman. When he finally realizes that Sherlock is, at last, as gullible as the brightest of the talking monkeys, his endurance with life is finally over, his last hope - Sherlock has finally let Jim down -Jim now realizes he has to go through the rest of his life in utter resignation of never again being thrilled or excited and it is unendurable. As for the very end, face it boys and girls, we knew it was coming with its predictable TV cliché. Thank God for England, we Americans seemingly will never get to create or even watch Television of such brilliance and such awesome cinematography and editing, because Americans write for the marketplace and alas the marketplace is for 13 year old boys and girls.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007)
hard to believe
Sandler continues his tradition of making moron movies. it is getting kind of pathetic. I understand money is money, but doesn't this guy have any self respect at all? I also understand that these movies are a money maker with the preteen and teenage movie goers, but they aren't the only targeted demographic to watch movies. The gay bashing in this movie is incredible. At different points in the movie I was incredulous that with all the current hoopla about being PC, some half-wits decided to make this movie. What a waste. How on earth in today's society someone could use homosexuality to make a comedy is astounding. I also would hope that Sandler either try real movies or give it up altogether. He was great on SNL, but now it is one idiot movie followed by another.
The Golden Compass (2007)
superb
I enormously enjoyed this movie. I would put it after the Lord of the Rings and way above Narnia. I know the producers were considering two more movies, depending on how this movie did. The good news was it did very well overseas and moderately OK in the Theocratic United States. Without having seen the movies, those friends of little children, the catholic church, decided to condemn this movie without having seen it, and of course, their friends the Baptists, decided to ban it because the catholics were banning it - although neither of these two groups had seen it when condemning it. Now I know some fundamentalist half-wit will beg IMDb to remove any review critical of Christianity in these Theoratic states of America, but I am too sick of these dimwits to really care any more. This movie has absolutely nothing to do with religion, is a great but watered down story(entirely because of the never-ending Christian whining), with superb CGI, superb acting and gorgeous scenery. Unless you are wearing a collar with a religious leash about your neck, shake off your shackles and see this superb movie.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
great movie
It seems as if Dr.Lector is so devoid of emotion and empathy, so removed from human emotion, that he has 'quid pro quo' games with Clarice having her reveal emotional memories to him, with him sublimating them almost as a 'vampire' revels in drinking blood. Thus I thought it quite apt the a policeman asks Clarice if Lector is a 'vampire'. Indeed he is, but he doesn't want blood. Lector is so totally devoid of emotion, or suffering depression to such a desperate degree, that he has to resort to the most heinous act possible, cannibalism, to evoke any emotion, any feeling whatsoever. Lector is indeed dead inside - no good, no bad, no nothing - that is the ultimate tragedy of this empty shell of a man. Lector is played as a man who always has a quiet steady voice and even indulges in classical music as he commits acts of cannibalism. The scene in which Hopkins talks to the camera is nothing short of miraculous. Ted Levine as Jame 'Buffalo Bill' Gumbis also is nothing short of astounding in his portrayal of someone seriously lost mentally, a man who so despises his own flesh, that he adorns himself in the flesh of others, to achieve a feeling a normalcy. A great movie about sanity and insanity with magnificent actors at their best.
Jungle Fever (1991)
idiotic
Who in their right mind plays a lyrical song at the same time they are portraying an emotional scene between two people? When Flipper confronts his wronged wife in the dressing room, the song sung with lyrical content is as loud as the dialog, so one can hear neither, diluting any emotional impact the scene may have had. The scenes of Annabella getting beaten by her father with his fists, a lamp and then a belt was so cartoonish as to be absurd. This entire movie is a cartoon, the rampant prejudice against whites is literally astounding. The discussion by the black women after flipper's wife finds out he has cheated on her with a white woman - as if it were a discussion by an oxford debating team, is ridiculous. The rampant racism might be possible to endure, but the soundtrack and the sound mixing during this 'movie' is too much. It was a technically poorly made movie. There is no understanding of the basic craft of movie making, the sound track, the editing and the desperate attempt of great actors trying to keep this movie afloat. I actually felt sorry for Anthony Quinn, wondering why he had accepted a role in this flick - his appearance in this is painful. This is the first movie I have seen by this director and it will be my last.
O (2001)
crap
Delmar from O brother directs this takeoff on Othello, perhaps the 1000th movie remake of this story. Newer directors are always trying to make this story into a movie about contemporary suburban white high schools because they can work some soft core scenes of a black kid and a white girl in erotic situations, some rap music, and present the concept of the 'noble black savage' as a modern hero. If you missed this derivative piece of garbage, wait about ten minutes and some other new movie director will make another 'Othello' ripoff. Let this concept die. This whole concept of translating Shakespeare into contemporary themes degrades Shakespeare and doesn't do anything for the literacy of most public high school youth who cannot read and are more interested in hip hop, drugs, guns and short pants wide enough to stuff a bicycle into.
28 Weeks Later (2007)
this movie will scare the livin' willies out of you
maybe spoilers: If you have seen the original 28 days later, you will better be equipped to understand and appreciate this film. If 28 days was scary, it was like a teddy bear compared to this movie. This movie starts out ruthlessly and things just get really, really worse from there. It seems that the inception of the virus is within seconds and immediately forces the person who is infected to expectorate to reinfect. The beginning of this movie graphically depicts this within the movies' first ten minutes. The ending is brutally depressing, but I won't mention it even in a spoiler, it's that good to see. If you want to be scared silly and you enjoyed the first movie, this movie is the bomb.
Marie Antoinette (2006)
worst soundtrack in modern history
Strong visuals, good acting luscious scenery and with out a doubt the absolute worst soundtrack in the history of modern days movies. The snippets of modern 'rock'(?) set against these beautiful French vistas set up such a cognitive dissonance, it literally astounded me. The music has absolutely nothing to do with the movie, scenery or events. I thought they might play something by the cure during the royal downfall. I guess a father's indulgence shows no boundaries - poor Francis ford. I have to assume that in Lost in Translation - Bill Murray and Scarlett are such good actors they improvised their way to comprehensibility. If they had a rational person do the soundtrack over again, the movie would be passable.
War of the Worlds (2005)
moronic
If the aliens planted the devices underground, they would have to have done so before the cities were built. Since history shows no evidence of any reports of this, they would have to been planted before any men were there to see and/or understand this, This places the insertion of the devices to many thousand of years ago. If they came to earth to use the planet and harvest it's natural resources, why would they not do it when they crossed interstellar space to plant the devices? So Spielberg has them travel across interstellar space, plant the devices all over the world and then leave for some tens of thousands of year. Why -for coffee? Then they would have had to repeat the process to come back to earth after many generations of their civilization passed. This premise -which wasn't in Well's book - is absurd. I am guessing Tom "xenu" Cruise must have had a hand in the script's logic. Also the aliens are consuming the blood of a species foreign in DNA to their own, obviously without testing the blood they were consuming. So we have technology to cross many light years of space, but are too dumb to test the blood of the race they are consuming. This was quite possibly the stupidest movie, next to Travolta's travesty,that I have ever seen. Great special effects, OK acting, very, very stupid plot. Why can't these people actually film the book they are quoting the story to be based on?
Children of Men (2006)
The hype is overwhelming - may contain spoilers
After hearing all of the hype for this movie and seeing the score on IMDb, I decided to see the film, twice. The first time I saw this I figured I must have missed something, so I saw it again and still cannot fathom why this film is getting so much hype. It would be an OK made for TV movie, but not much else. The politics of this film are sophomoric and self-contradictory. A ship called 'hope' picks up quite possibly the worlds'only black Indonesian who has just had a baby, while seated in a small boat next to a lighted buoy in the fog? What next? I am surprised he didn't include the wizard of Oz - oh wait a minute, that's Jasper, isn't it. She is searching for a never explained Utopian group called the human project? Illegal immigrants, quite possibly responsible for most of the fascist state's brutal control of the general population, are the sympathy object of the movie? No country on earth could ever accommodate an infinite influx of illegal immigrants and survive. Terrorists are the Heros? Take 12 monkeys and 28 days, smash them together, throw in sympathy for millions of illegal immigrants swarming England and you have children of men. Except of course, that 28 days and 12 monkeys were much, much better. If you want to see a work of genius about a future terrorist state watch Gilliam's 'Brazil'
The Island (2005)
Very handsome, but idiotic movie -!!!!spoiler alert!!!!!
This movie was gorgeous to look at and the acting was superb by all those involved. Once again the brief appearance by Steve Buscemi was wonderful. The concept was refreshing but terribly flawed. Beautifully filmed and visually convincing. Now for the bad part...
SPOILER ALERT ****************************************************** How could the sheer number of employee's hired by this cloning facility operate over a number of year's without anyone revealing this place to the public? Even the NSA can't manage this (see Bush's wiretapping laws on U.S. citizens). How can you clone someone as an adult with the clone being the same age as the original? How could the memories of any one of any age be transferred to the clone? If the clones were just for organs, why not just grow the organs and minimize your worries and expenditures? These kind of movies do science a disservice by convincing many film goers to be 'memed' (to coin a verb),into a conviction against biotechnology by films that intentionally mislead.
The Skeleton Key (2005)
stupid, predictable
Who are they making these movies for? idiots? After watching about a half hour of this crap, the ending was obvious and it was tedious to watch it painfully unfold. Try something new, where one actually can't derive the surprise outcome as if it were written in neon, and give this voodoo, magic fodder a well deserved rest. Kate Hudson and Hurt must be in need of quick income to star in something this God-awful. Let's all have something never seen before - women smoking cigars, chicken blood, pentangle's, candles, whiskey whatever. Maybe Kate Hudson will be in a new version of Constantine, now that she was in this horrendous training film.
Æon Flux (2005)
gives ed wood a run for the money
There have been literally hundreds of superb science fiction stories written in the last few years. Guess what the Hollywood Mensa members of MTV choose to film? A cartoon. Combine snippets of the last 30 sci-fi films in a lottery drum, mix them up and then splice them back together and you get Aeon Flux,vapid, mindless and pointless. Many have commented on the saving grace of Ms.Theron's s&m costumes and her athletics. Great, if they wanted to present this as soft porno, they should have and not wasted everyones' time and money. The storyline, I hesitate to call it a 'plot', has been reworked so many times now, that the next company that uses it ought to be banned from making films. This movie wasn't terrible, it wasn't anything.
Left Behind (2000)
typical Americana
This movie is alternatively comedic and terrifying. That any rational human living in this millennium could believe this crap, terrifies me. A great number of Americans actually believe this garbage and they are growing in number. This movies is horrible - the plot is aimed at three year olds (not to offend three year olds), the acting is just barely passable -(I know actors have to eat and any work is better then none),but give me a break. Somehow, those TV entertainment evangelical ministers have convinced an enormous number of people, that this delusion is not only possible, but likely, and only those who conform to the absolute mandates of their Christian ministers can be saved. I know these religious nutballs paying for these films are making a bundle on this - but why?
I, Robot (2004)
When will they learn?
I know it is currently mandatory in Hollywood to insert African-Americans into roles that were written as being a race other then African-American, but when will these Hollywood idiots let up? Why not the Biography of Martin Luther King starring Mel Gibson? I try to approach these movies with hope, because I read the stories and the books by asimov, stanislav lem et al, and why the Hollywood producers insist on changing the character so drastically, it is beyond me. Is it simply a move of greed to get more African-Americans watching this crap? (Which I doubt they do, being intelligent enough to know they are being pandered to.) Will Smith is just not cut out for serious dramatic entertainment. I thought these nitwits had gotten the message with that still-life "Wild, Wild West" which died after about two hours in the theaters, but no. Will Smith is a good comedian, why not star him in comedy movies? But then again, I have the full multi-million dollar release of "Bewitched" to look forward to. Oh well,reading is more enjoyable....... I know that any observations along these lines will probably incur the wrath of the PC police, but really who cares?
Atoll K (1950)
Utopia a sad sad film
I love Laurel & Hardy. God knows how many times they pulled me out of a depression or an illness and I will always love them. You might imagine how painful it is to see an obviously ill Stan Laurel and a grossly overweight Ollie struggle through this last of their movies. The plot is silly, but possible, in earlier days it might have been funnier. All through the movie I kept fixating on Stan who really looked sick, and how Ollie had aged and blown up and wondered why these two national treasures were persuaded to make this movie. If you are a rabid L&H fan, see it, but it will depress you.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
mad max in Jerusalem
There is sexual pornography and then there is violence pornography. Of course Christians seem at times, rabidly, to hate sex in almost all forms although they do not carry this feeling to violence - witness the last two thousand years. Mel 'mad max' Gibson seems to have hit upon a novel scam: create a movie about Christ thus ensuring much publicity, then do it the american way - heap unspeakable amounts of violence, cruelty and sadism, graphically illustrated by the best film technology existent, and do not let up for the entire movie. Somehow infer that although the Romans (Italians), judged Christ, nailed Christ to a cross, and punctured him with a spear - it was actually the Jews who are
responsible for the death of Jesus. I don't know whether Mel was being serious about this, or whether he is just obtuse. I think it is a really novel way of making money - not only is mel doing the talk show circuit, he is also doing the EWTN, 700 Club circus. That's it Mel, leave no stone unturned. This movie has nothing to do with the Jesus in the gospels - this movie is a religious glorification of brutality and gore and as such it is sickening. But then again,
what the hell, Mel stands to make a fortune on this. Hey Mel,
for your next religious treatise, why not ask Quentin Tarrantino to lend a hand?
Quo Vadis (1951)
entertaining yet drivel
Although very well acted and very colorful, this movie has about as much historical fact as a mickey mouse cartoon. Once again, American Pop Culture does history and since the great number of movie goers gain most of their knowledge of "fact" through fiction (like this movie), it is expected. There is so much blatant rearranging of history in this movie, I was waiting to see Nero doing a musical scene. Once again, ad naseum, the EVIL Rome persecutes the INNOCENT Christian minority, while all of the Roman religions (well, actually all religions on earth) are sex-crazed orgiastic horrors, compared to STANDARD AMERICAN CHRISTIANITY.It is interesting that Christianity comandeered the ROMAN festival of Saturnalia for the birth of their Savior (the horror, the horror...) I guess the feeling of persecution is mandatory, as we never see movies about Emperor Constantine making Christianity the state religion of Rome and the massive slaughter of christians and pagans by the beloved peace seeking Christians of the Christian Rome. If you like well acted cartoons, you will like this film.
Dragon Seed (1944)
moronic
If they had one this same movie with caucasian actors in black face, people would be marching around hollywood with picket signs. I guess, however, it was appropriate to use white actors because no asian actors could be found. I guess this is today's equivalent of pretending that all egyptians were actually Negroes. It seems as if Hollywood was/is afraid of offending only certain groups. I wonder why? It was so distracting to see the caucasian's makeup and wonder how anyone in their right mind hoped to pass this off as authentic, made one miss most of the plot.
The Secret Garden (1993)
virtually perfect
This is one of those rare films that you recognize as a classic as you are watching it. This movie is virtually perfect in almost every way, and I doubt if it will soon be displaced as the definitive version. One aspect of this film which I loved was Andrew Knott as Dickon, who ultimately sublimated his love for Mary to help Colin in the grand tradition of the English Hero - the common man. As in the Lord of the Rings, it is not a Jedi Knight, or a superman or muscleman or gun-slinging cowboy who is the hero, it is one of the common folks who rises to the occasion when greatness is demanded by the times and situation. As did Sam Gamgee, the Hero of the LOTR, so does Dickon stand out as an almost mythical personification of love and sacrifice for the good of others with no thought of recompense. This is what I love about classic English novels, how the average guy can change the world, if he loves it enough. Wonderful stuff.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Superb
In order to make a watchable movie that is under 35 hours long, tie it together thematically, and remain faithful to the overall plot, is no easy task. Many American and some European film-goers believe Jackson should have done a word for word movie, but then again it's hard to have some studio fund one movie that would require cots. Many American film-goers (mainly American teens), are angry there were no heavy rock bands or rap in the movie, no Tarrantino type mindless gore and violence and no explicit sex. Many are angry that this, God Forbid, was a movie with European characters and that Will Smith didn't play Frodo, and it was not a movie about an invalid or a concentration camp (which seem to make up all of the Academy Award movie winners for the last ten years). In short, in modern America, we want the kind of garbage you can see in still-born crap like the newest matrix - guns blasting every five seconds, multi-cultural raves, mystical mumbo-jumbo and a movie filmed in a variety of shades of green. If, on the other hand, you read the Lord of the Rings, loved it and understand a one-to-one translation to the screen is impossible, you will love the Two Towers. I guess that is what is making alot of reviewers really angry - the Two Towers has gotten a very high score on IMDB. There's a great reason -the movie is excellent.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
Amazing
I like this the best of ALL the Coen Brother films, and although having seen almost every film Steve Buscemi has been in, I never have appreciated him as much as now, after having seen him in this film. Steve is absolutely, stunningly wonderful! And of course, John Goodman is, once again, one of our ten best actors. The most suprising element of this film is how good Jeff Bridges is in this. Why this movie did not get the critical acclamation that Barton Fink and Fargo got, escapes me completely. I truly enjoyed this movie and would highly recommend it. Most poignant for me was the archetypical hypocrisy of the 'can do' right wing doppelganger of 'the dude', which is seemingly self-evident to the general public or it wouldn't have been characterised with such nonchalance. This film brings us back to the mindset and humour of another Coen classic, 'Raising Arizona'. Great stuff.
The Core (2003)
By the numbers
A genius Black inventor, a heroic independent woman astronaut who lands a space shuttle in a sewer, a quirky, young, handsome, brilliant professor, an egocentric scientist who in the end relents, some frenchman thrown in for no apparent reason -this movie sucked on almost every level from the absurd, nonsensical plot and the now mandatory movie characters to the absurd, inevitable conclusion. And they wonder why american films are doing poorly. I think that from now on I am only going to watch movies made outside of the U.S., or watch independent films. Somewhere in Hollywood, they must have posted a mandatory roll of movie characters. This wasn't a movie, it wouldn't have even made a decent cartoon.
The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
magnificent
Put simply, this is the best western ever put to film. I seriously doubt if anyone will ever create a western with this depth, scope and compassion again. It isn't suprising, to me at least, that Eastwood filmed the perfect american myth with such mastery. When one thinks of the American Cowboy, the mythic modern archangel, who else comes to mind instantly except Eastwood? Superb.
Legend (1985)
Very Good
The director's cut of this movie with the original soundtrack is so much better then the movie originally released in the U.S.A., one has to wonder if movies are intentionally dumbed down for american audiences. Just for kicks, get the director's cut and compare it with the original american version - it's like two different movies. Ridley did make an excellent film with this, it's too bad corporate america had any input into the final release of this movie.