garyjamesford Reviews

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Most annoying cast award goes to Blair Witch Project

[4/10 · 28 July 2021]

Well the plot was simple and that was about the best thing about the film. Three more irrating people you couldn't wish to meet.

"someone is following us" - let's sing and yell at the top of our voices.

"we need to get out of here quick" - let's hang around chewing leaves, watching the river and shouting at each other for most of the day.

"we need the map" - lets kick it in the river I'm not sure it's accurate.

If you're going to make a 'found footage' film please don't have the woman screaming at the top of her voice down the mic for the majority of the film.

Very disappointing ending - please give me back my 1hr 30 mins.

Early Doors (2003–2004)

Slow burning genius comedy

[10/10 · 11 April 2021]

This has to be one of the greatest comedies ever written. Sharp northern English wit tied in with flawed but beautiful characters, gives this series (of which there are 2) a charm above most. In a similar style to the Royle family and written by part of the same team it takes a couple of episodes to get into - but is well worth the watch. You can hear or spot something new every time you watch it. Coming from Stockport many of the points that the comedy touches on as well as the character styles resonate so close to home.

The Rise and Fall of a White Collar Hooligan 2 (2013)

Poor story, poor film

[2/10 · 9 March 2021]

The whole film seems like an excuse for a bunch of cockney sounding 3rd rate actors to spend some time site seeing international locations and playing at being 'ard. We'll I'm sorry, but it was just rubbish.

If 'Snatch' be the definition of the best in cockney gangster flicks - this is the very opposite end of the spectrum.

The Intent (2016)

Poor effort at best

[4/10 · 9 March 2021]

If you're going to make a film featuring cops and gangsters you need to have believability on both sides of the fence.

Unfortunately, it seems that a large (over the top) amount of effort was put into the gangster swagger, attitude and lingo - but no effort put into understanding or acting for the police or family outside the gangs. There were some good strong characters in this, but they were overshadowed by some of the laughably poor abilities of others.

Final nail in the coffin was the ending - abrupt and lacking in depth. It just completely ran out of steam.

Godless (2017)

Slow start, but really good

[8/10 · 16 February 2021]

By the end of episode 1 you won't know whether to go on and watch episode 2. By the end of episode 2 it all starts to make sense and you're addicted.

The story has warmth, relatable characters and great acting. If you like traditional Westerns this will tick all the boxes - if you're just here for Michelle Dockery I guarantee you won't be disappointed either.

The series / season is just the right length (7 episodes) with a proper conclusion and closure. We'll worth watching.

Level 16 (2018)

Average

[4/10 · 13 February 2021]

About 10 minutes in you can guess what is happening. 30 minutes in and you can see how the full story is going to pan out. From that point onwards its just a waiting game to see how much longer they can stretch this tiresome tale.

The Honey Killer (2011)

Sounded like a good idea

[3/10 · 16 January 2021]

Tried to jump on Guy Richie's style with narration and music. Unfortunately fell short due to lack of story and extended scenes of boredom.

Wished I hadn't bothered to watch it.

The Gentlemen (2019)

Excellent

[9/10 · 1 October 2020]

If you enjoyed the legends that are "Lock Stock" and "Snatch" then your going to love this one as well.

Guy does what he does best with this British gangster flick. The only difference here is that, in the main, the actors are already well established names, but Guy gives them a different angle which is to everyone's credit and makes the whole thing fresh and inventive. That said, for me the stand out was Colin Farrell - just brilliant.

Personally, I don't think there will ever be another film made as great as Snatch, but this is very close - you won't be disappointed.

The Painted Bird (2019)

Dull

[4/10 · 12 September 2020]

So after seeing the user reviews I simply had to watch this film. I wished I hadn't. There is very little story just a series of depressing and unrelated tales featuring the same kid as he travels across some nameless Eastern European vista during World War II. I read that this film caused audiences to leave the cinema - due to boredom l would imagine. Apart from a couple of upsetting animal cruelty scenes I've seen more violence in Disney's Beauty and the Beast.