PhatManBad Reviews

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Computerized Atmosphere, Dull Story and Characters, A Few Good Parts

[5/10 · 5 September 2021]

Awkwafina should not be the most interesting part of your $150 million kung fu movie.

She wasn't great (sometimes she was a bit annoying, to be honest), but everyone else was forgettable. Shang-Chi himself was the generic "slacker with potential" character with no personality. And he was a live wire compared to the rest of the cast. Aside from Awkwafina, the others seemed to have picked one emotion (either stoic, angry, stern, or "wise") and stuck with it.

Wait a minute, I forgot about Ben Kingsley. His appearance was a nice surprise (I think), but he was a wacky Disney animated movie sidekick with an awful-looking CGI pet monster (who was also a wacky Disney animated movie sidekick).

Shang-Chi strikes me as an American-friendly martial arts movie. Not that I'm an expert on kung fu movies, but I've watched enough movies (including several Marvel movies) to know a factory-made action flick when I see it. The movie is very watered down.

There was, for instance, no effort involved in developing a plot or telling a story whatsoever. It's almost the exact same plot as the CW's Kung Fu series. Family vs. Family.

I wanted to enjoy the fight scenes (I can tell that a lot of effort was put into them), but everything looked fake. Obvious special effects mixed with artificial movie sets. The final battle was two giant cartoons wrestling each other.

As a matter of fact, almost every scene in the movie was covered in computer graphics.

I didn't hate the movie. I can see other people liking it. But I was bored most of the time.

The Prince (2021)

If You've Seen One Episode of Family Guy, You've Seen Them All

[2/10 · 29 August 2021]

I doubt that I'm the first person to compare this show to Family Guy, and I probably won't be the last. That's because the show is so Family Guy (just like every other adult animated series for the past 15 years) it hurts.

Prince George, for instance, is obviously Stewie. He's supposed to be seven years old, but he talks and acts like an adult (which is not funny on it's own). Plus, he's a sadistic, selfish pop culture dispenser.

As for the rest of the characters: It seems pointless to base the show on the real life British Royal Family, because as far as I can tell, each character is a one-dimensional "king and queen" trope.

And the same goes for all of the show's storylines. There's an unhappy royal marriage, a spineless adult prince who constantly gets picked on by his mother, and a child prince who picks on everyone, just to name a few.

Many adult animated comedies have the same crutches, and The Prince is definitely no exception:

1. Characters who are terrible human beings. Not in a fun, hilarious, creative way, like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Everyone is just a regular jerk. Some consider people torturing other people without any comedic style (or an actual point to any of it) to be funny. I don't.

2. Endless gross-out gags that aren't really gags, they just happen--lots of flatulence, gruesome images (such as misshapen "British" faces), puking, bloodshed, and so on.

3. Pop culture references that aren't jokes, they're simply references. Reminding people that Kelly Ripa exists and having guests stars saying "off-the-wall" things isn't funny.

4. Lots of screaming and cursing with no actual jokes attached to them.

5. The "it's funny because blanks don't talk like that in real life" joke, which is about 60% of the show's humor. This includes a sassy old woman, kindergarten-aged kids who talk about Instagram, or royal family members using street slang. Jokes like that were never funny in the first place, but that trope as been around for decades.

These lame, dated comedy tricks must end. But if you still love them, then you can watch Big Mouth (an obnoxious show that's somehow better than this) or the billions of other streaming service cartoons for adults instead. They're all the same.

Don't watch this show.

Respect (2021)

Jennifer Hudson Was Great, But That's It

[5/10 · 29 August 2021]

I wouldn't say that the filmmakers were lazy when they made the movie, but the movie is exactly like most biographical films. The movie is a bit too linear: It's an A to B timeline of historic events. And it appears to be the same timeline we've seen before in other movies similar to this one.

Aretha's sturggles feels very indistinguishable to the trials and tribulations that happen to other artists (especially female artists) in their movies. This is because the filmmakers didn't tell her story in a way that doesn't feel like someone reading a list.

Even though the actors (for the most part) did a great job and the dialogue was fine, it's the same going-through-the-motions, soap opera storytelling that's in every bio pic.

Jennifer Hudson was perfect for the role and she did not disappoint, and I still enjoyed myself.

But the movie was just OK.

Kung Fu (2021–2023)

An Action Movie with No Action of Any Kind

[2/10 · 15 August 2021]

It seems to be a tradition for CW shows to have fight scenes that range from bland to awful. (The network seems to like the Zack Snyder slow motion shots. A lot.)

But, considering that they've made a show called Kung Fu, maybe they should have spent the extra time and money making better action scenes. Perhaps it's too expensive or whatever their excuse is, but they really should add more fire to the fighting scenes.

Great fight scenes should stand out in some way. How about making the action more fast-paced. Or more brutal (I know it's the CW, so a bloodbath is out of the question, but with the right direction, you can make every punch and kick look painful). Or make the fight scenes more humorous and fun (no CW humor please).

There are two reasons why people would watch a show like Kung Fu: (1.) To watch a strong, independent woman beat up bad guys, and (2.) to watch a gorgeous woman beat up bad guys.

Also, the writing and the acting is really bad. It's worse than what we usually get from network TV. None of it seems genuine. Get ready for the usual teen drama-level storytelling. The main story, for instance, is about a young woman who ran away from home (to a monastery) to get away from her strict, overbearing mother. One storyline involves a forced love triangle between the main character, the ex-boyfriend, and a potential love interest.

Kung Fu is a very boring show.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

It's Exactly Like the Original, With a Few Nice Additions

[5/10 · 14 August 2021]

Quill's father (Kurt Russell) is a great character and the way he and Quill interact with each other is decent.

Both Mantis and the actor who plays her (Pom Klementieff) are a nice addition to the group, but they're not great.

All of the returning actors did a good job as always.

It's delightful that Yondu (Michael Rooker) recieved more screentime (The Mary Poppins joke was funny).

I didn't really care for Gamora and Nebula's Disney Channel sister drama.

The comedy as a whole still manages to be funny and fresh, which is kind of a surprise.

Vol. 2 was just OK.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

A Fun, Refreshing Sci-Fi Action Flick

[7/10 · 14 August 2021]

First, the negative:

The plot is definitely not original. It's the same Marvel movie formula--quirky heroes work together to find an extremely powerful thing before the villain(s) get to it first.

And then there's the sports movie plot--a group of mismatched misfits must set aside their differences and become a team before whatever happens.

And speaking of teamwork, the ending is so cheesy that it feels out of place. It involves the Guardians working together, which is fine, but the way it was done is something out of a kids movie (not that the rest of the movie is sophisticated, but it's still somewhat odd).

Ronan the Accuser, the movie's main villain, is dull. Very dull. I guess that's the point. Maybe the movie wants a villain who is serious to serve as a counterbalance to the heroes.

Now, the positive:

The Guardians as characters and the way those characters interact with each other greatly helps the movie elevate from a 4/10 to a 7/10. Most movies about a band of misfits give the characters shallow, insincere traits. Each of the Guardians are actual people with different personalities from different backgrounds. And the way they compliment each other is seemless.

Guardians of the Galaxy is a much needed addition to the MCU.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

Too Long, A Few Problems Here And There, But Still Good.

[6/10 · 13 August 2021]

For me there's a lot of "I love it, but I hate it" attached to this movie.

I like the main characters a lot. The conflicting personalities are not only fun, but seem very natural. The movie did a little more than "he's the fat one, and she loves shopping." But I don't care about their origin story. Every scene designed to add depth to the characters was pointless. I'm not concerned about so-and-so's mommy issues or why such-and-such is afraid of rats. It's been done in so many movies, and each of their problems are solved in seconds.

I appreciate and enjoy the excessive (and sometimes creative) violence in the film. But I'm extremely tired of CGI blood in action movies. It makes every death look artificial.

It's a more unpredictable movie, which is definitely a plus. You never know which main character is going to die next. But it's still the same exhausting comic book movie plot as always: a group of kooky superheroes band together to destroy a giant whatever.

As much as I loved the banter between the "heroes," a bunch of mismatched super beings setting aside their differences and learning to work together isn't exactly unique (every Avengers movie, every Guardians of the Galaxy movie, etc.).

Hollywood doesn't seem to understand that comic book stories can be told in a variety of ways, as long as you stay true to the material. It may sound difficult, but both the DC and Marvel Universe have an immense variety of characters and places to work with. With the right story (an actual story from the comics), you can make a scary movie, a romantic comedy, a crime drama, and so on.

Most of the non-action scenes were interesting, but way, way too long. The romance (?) between Harley Quinn and some evil dictator (the villains were very hollow and boring, by the way) went on for hours.

And the words between the movie's chapters (there are actual words placed throughout the movie that only the audience can see that are either the title of the chapter or "8 minutes earlier") were very irritating.

Honestly, most of these problems can be solved by making the movie shorter. A movie like this should not be 2 hours and 13 minutes.

I still had a good time.

Masters of the Universe: Revelation (2021)

Beneath A Pile of False Advertising is a Mediocre Cartoon

[3/10 · 25 July 2021]

He-Man was in the show for about 2 mins. No, Prince Adam doesn't count. Come to think of it, Adam received way more screen time and a more important role in the story than the title character.

To be fair, it's only part one of the first season (5 episodes, 30 minutes each), but the show spent all that time and energy hyping up Teela for a reason. It's her show. It's always been her show.

The trailer, which is literally a montage of He-Man being awesome, promised us that He-Man is back, and he's just as sensational as always. What we got instead is Teela leading a team of mild characters. And the show kept insisting that Teela is special in every way.

Teela's story, which takes center stage in the show, doesn't even make sense. Before becoming the new Man-At-Arms (and after a life-changing battle with Skeletor), she finally discovers Prince Adam's secret. She's so upset about the truth that she quits and leaves. I understand why she would be a little disappointed, but why abandon your home, your family, and your friends? Not very heroic. And the show tries really hard to convince the audience to sympathize with her.

Soon, she becomes a mercenary who hates magic (?) and has a tech-savy partner. Then, an old enemy shows up and persuades her (and her sidekick) to help save magic and the universe. Not exactly a groundbreaking plot. And she almost turns down the offer (reminder: the offer is to save the universe) because she's still upset about the lie.

Revelation is a bit dark and very serious, which can be boring at times. Not to mention awkward: why is there cursing in a He-Man cartoon? The characters are alright (for the most part) and the dialogue is decent, but a great deal of the show is a bunch of children's cartoon characters moping around and arguing with each other. Why does every show have to be a textbook soap opera?

Yes, the original cartoon was a 80s toy commercial, but it was a lot more fun. Revelation was interesting at times, but it's way too manipulative and bland.

Fargo (2014–2024)

Brilliant (But Not Perfect)

[9/10 · 15 July 2021]

Overall, the show is a thrilling experience. Every episode is like sitting in a dark, cozy theater with no talking, no crunching noises, and no phones. Just an angelic film with top-level acting, music, and camerawork. But it does have it's issues:

Season 1: Billy Bob Thorton was hands down the best part of the season. Watching Lorne Malvo (Thorton) manipulate everyone was delightful. Unfortunately, despite great performances by the cast, Malvo was the only exciting character. Cameos like Key and Peele were a bit of a distraction, but I still had a blast.

Season 2: My favorite season so far. The war between The Gerhardts and Mike Milligan (Bokeem Woodbine) was the perfect blend of excitment, tragedy, and hilarity. Peggy (Kirsten Dunst) and her husband (Jesse Plemons) were wonderful. In fact, all of the characters were appealing and memorable.

Season 3: It's a dark, complicated, funny caper involving twin brothers (played very well by Ewan McGregor). There were a few phenomenal scenes (the animated story of the little robot was one of the series's best moments) and a few awkward scenes (the drug test montage was very out-of-place and disgusting). The characters weren't as good as season 2's characters, but they're still good. Generally, the quality of the show is starting to go down a little.

Season 4: Not a terrible season, but something was definitely off. You'd think a battle between two crime families during the 1950s would be more captivating, but I was slightly bored. Chris Rock and Jason Schwartzman as crime bosses was odd to begin with, but it could've worked. Every scene was like a contest to see who's the most profound.

Despite my issues, Fargo is still way better than 99% of the shows on television. Please watch this incredible show.

Kevin Can F**k Himself (2021–2022)

A No-Longer-Funny Joke Told Over and Over

[4/10 · 15 July 2021]

Hollywood has made fun of awful, clichéd sitcoms several times for the past 20 years at least, so the plot isn't exactly groundbreaking.

Don't get me wrong, a show that bashes cheesy sitcoms with mind-numbing laugh tracks can still be good (Tim and Eric's Beef House is a hilarious show). But for me, it's very difficult to laugh because I've heard that joke too many times.

Each episode (I watched the first four episodes, then I stopped caring) is an endless back-and-forth, from "sitcom" to "real life" and back. It gets old after a while.

To the show's credit, the "sitcom" scenes are extremely accurate, but it's too accurate. It's almost as if I've been tricked into watching a regular, irritating network TV sitcom. I have to constantly sit through these scenes, waiting for the story to continue.

It doesn't help that the "real life" scenes are clichéd in their own right: a repressed wife doing drugs (which is supposed to be funny and edgy), a brutally honest sidekick, a generic "perfect guy" love interest, etc.

Plus the show looks like any other cable drama, which is basically a watered-down HBO series.

The actors are great though. The sitcom scenes are excruciatingly accurate, and it's mainly because of the phenomenally accurate performances.

But the show as a whole is not for me.

Glass (2019)

What Did I Just Watch?

[5/10 · 9 June 2021]

How much did this movie cost? I'm asking because most this superhero (?) movie took place in a building and it felt like there were only seven people in this universe.

I liked the premise though. Superhero (?) characters from previous M. Night Shyamalan movies trapped in an asylum sounds interesting (even though I've never seen an entire M. Night movie.). But most of the movie was just a few people sitting around and talking.

Also, there's something...off about both the acting and the dialogue. Everyone acts like a weird clone of the person they're supposed to be. That's because the movie is a mix of conversations that normal people wouldn't have (like the bizarre conversation about vitamins between two of the asylum employees) and the lack of life in almost every actor's performance. James McAvoy's performance was off-putting (that's not his fault really. Actors who play characters with multiple personalities always look awkward to me), but you can tell that he's working hard.

The "origin story" ending was confusing, bizarre, and anticlimactic. Maybe it was done that way on purpose, but it was still disappointing. When Mr. Glass revealed his master plan at the end, I was more confused than impressed.

I wasn't expecting a big budget Spider-Man movie with Spider-Man and some villain knocking each other around while hundreds of extras watch instead of running for their lives.

But I wish this movie had more spice.

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

The First Act Of A Movie That Never Ends

[3/10 · 9 June 2021]

Plenty of pretty Asians, pretty houses, and pretty clothes. That's it.

It's hard to tell if the acting is good or not, because no one really acts human. They're not robots exactly, but (like every other romantic comedy) the characters are extremely hollow. Like I said, there's plenty of attractive Asians in this movie. Several of them have sexy British accents for some reason. And they're all rich. What else is there to say?

I'm trying to find the best way to describe this movie. A really long movie trailer? A neverending montage? Most of the movie consists of endless introductions to characters. It's like the wedding scene in Goodfellas.

The plot is exactly what you'd expect: an "average" woman falls in love with an impossibly rich, handsome man. She meets the family. His mother instantly disapproves of her son's "average" girlfriend. Then other stuff happens and then it ends.

Like most romantic comedies, the jokes are bland and annoying: Ken Jeong has wacky hair, wears wacky clothes, and says wacky things. Awkwafina has wacky hair, wears wacky clothes, and says wacky things. And there's a fat nerd with a bowl haircut and it's funny because he's a fat nerd.

It's another movie that's technically not terrible, but you kind of wish it was because it would be more entertaining. But everyone and everything looks gorgeous.

The perfect movie for people who love shallow romantic comedies.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

A Fun, Unique Action Comedy

[10/10 · 15 May 2021]

A great action scene must have style. It can't be just punching and kicking. EVERY ACTION MOVIE has punching and kicking. And we've seen it all before. Many, many times. That's why most action movies are boring.

Scott Pilgrim's action scenes are amazing because they have their own personality. The entire movie in fact is a wonderful blend of video game culture, hipster culture, and pop culture in general. The indie rock locations, the 8-bit music, the garage band music, the arcade action sequences, the quirky comedy (but not in the usual nails-on-a-chalkboard way you see in other hipster comedies). Pretty much everything about the film is perfect.

Every character fits the actors playing them like a glove. Michael Cera is a great example. He was incredible as the irresponsible, lazy, kind of selfish, but well-meaning Scott.

What a special, one-of-a-kind action movie.

Malcolm & Marie (2021)

Too Long, But Good

[6/10 · 26 April 2021]

After seeing the trailer, watching a couple trapped in the same house together, happy one minute and miserable the next (in black and white), I knew what to expect.

I knew that the movie was going to be a really long fight.

But the acting was great. Both characters were very charming. Zendaya and John David Washington made me care about their Hollywood problems. Not an easy task.

I would totally understand if people thought the movie was pretentious: The constant rants about movies and relationships. The couple taking turns yelling and making speeches like it's a neverending audition. A black and white film in 2021. But I enjoyed it. I was intrigued most of the time.

Maybe it's because I sometimes like watching couples argue, as long as it's done right.

But this still should've been a short film. The film was an hour and 46 minutes of arguing. Some of the rants were great at first, but then it kept going.

It was tiresome at times, but I like it.

Chad (2021–2024)

Funnier Than Expected, But I'm Tired of High School (and Saturday Night Live)

[4/10 · 12 April 2021]

(Warning: I only watched the pilot episode.)

Why does 90% of entertainment take place in high school?

Because they're easy to make. It's the same stories with the same characters. And people are obsessed with nostalgia. I'm not one of those people, which is why I'm annoyed with this show. I'm tired of those awkward Hollywood high school moments. I'm sick of whiney suburban teenagers, nerds vs. Jocks, all of it. There has to be other things that Hollywood can talk about.

And even though Nasim Pedrad technically did a good job as Chad, every single Saturday Night Live cast member has been overused.

Lately, Hollywood has been using the same 50 people for everything, and it ruins most shows and movies for me.

And most SNL cast members tend to come off as a bit smug during every performance.

Plus SNL has been lazy, corporate garbage for years and whenever a cast member appears, it reminds me that a show I used to love has given up.

But some of the scenes are funny, like the one where Chad asks his friend Peter why he is wearing leather shorts:

Chad: "Are you wearing leather shorts?"

Peter: "Yeah. They're my mom's."

Chad: "Why are you wearing your mom's clothes?"

Peter: "My Dad's clothes are too small for me."

Chad: "STOP WEARING YOUR PARENTS CLOTHES!!!"

But even the funny moments feel like stuff we've all seen before.

If you're not sick of SNL or high school (and you should be at this point), you'll probably love it.

Don't Think Twice (2016)

Not Terrible, But Hollow

[5/10 · 13 March 2021]

One great quality of the film is that the acting feels natural, actual people having actual conversations. But the actors are pretty much playing themselves. It's cheating, but still entertaining.

Aside from one shallow trait (this one likes to draw, this one has rich parents, this one is Gillian Jacobs, etc.), the characters are the same person: Snarky, mopey, likes to mess with people, and appreciates the art of impov.

Rants about growing old and how following your dreams can be a nightmare are sprinkled throughout the movie, but not in a painful way.

I would value this movie more if I haven't seen so many indie comedies that talk about the same thing.

Unless you're not tired of indie movies yet and you still like seeing your favorite indie comedy actors do stuff, you'll probably just shrug your shoulders.

Burn After Reading (2008)

More Like A Sketch Than A Movie

[4/10 · 8 March 2021]

It felt like the movie lasted about 20 mins.

99% of the comedy was "look at the A-list actors being silly."

Clooney was goofy. Pitt was goofy. Malkovich screamed and cursed a lot. Tilda Swinton was cold. Frances McDormand...was great. J.K. Simmons...was there.

Lots of wacky misunderstandings that weren't funny.

One or two deaths.

That's about it.

A pointless film. Maybe that's the point. Or the joke. I don't care.

Parasite (2019)

If The Movie Was Made In America, Everyone Would Think It Was Average

[6/10 · 8 March 2021]

It's a Will Ferrell comedy. Yep, a Will Ferrell comedy.

"Poor family outsmarts a clueless, out-of-touch rich family and takes over the house" is absolutely a Will Ferrell comedy plot.

Ignore how beautiful the movie looks: the poor family's cramped, dirty house and the rich family's pristine, futuristic house.

Ignore the fact that it's a foreign film: There must be a least a few people who LOVED the film because it's in a different language and liking the film makes them smart.

If this was a Will Ferrell movie or a Steve Martin movie and it had the same dialogue and zany schemes, you would think the movie was average. Or maybe even terrible. One scene included the daughter leaving her underwear in the rich parents' car to trick them into thinking the driver had sex in it.

Maybe the Will Ferrell/Steve Martin comparison is a little bit melodramatic. My point is, if you set aside the fact that it's an immensely well made foreign film (on a technical level!), Parasite is weak when it comes to characters and storytelling.

There are no memorable characters in this movie (except for maybe a character that showed up near the end of the film, but only because he was so over-the-top). A perfect example is the poor family. They're basically the same person.

For the most part, the rich couple are the usual snooty, dimwitted suburban snobs we've seen in plenty of mainstream garbage comedies.

Most of the story is just the exchange between the poor family and the rich family. The back-and-forth between them was interesting, but definitely not Oscar-worthy.

It's a bit difficult to rate the acting if the movie is in a different language. As far as I can tell, the acting was just okay. No groundbreaking performances. Just people sitting (or standing) around and talking with a few wacky comedic moments.

Oh and there's a murder at the end that feels out of place.

Obviously, movie isn't terrible. The visuals were incredible. The scene where the poor family's neighborhood was consumed by a flood was gorgeous.

I enjoyed the film, but I wouldn't say it's the greatest film ever.

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)

A Movie About Buster Scruggs Would've Been Better, But It's Still Great

[9/10 · 6 March 2021]

Buster Scruggs (the character) should've received his own movie. His story (one of six stories in the film) was by far the most interesting.

All of the stories (except for the last one, which was just The Hateful Eight condensed to 10 mins.) were fantastic, but The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (the first story, not the movie) was unique. I love unique. It was both lighthearted and brutal. Cruel, but fun. It reminds the audience that eventually everything ends and a legend (or genre) will soon be replaced by a new one, like it or not.

The other stories were more grimey, dark, and serious, like every western for several decades. And that's the problem. I still enjoy the grungy, realistic frontier, but the first story was refreshing and I wanted more of it.

All of the actors were wonderful. And, like always, the Coens are great at making the audience shut up and pay attention. Throughout the movie are hauntingly quiet moments (mixed with realistic sound effects) that help you focus on the characters and the unforgiving environment they're trapped in. Sometimes it ambushes you with powerful music and exciting action.

A majestic movie.

Joker (I) (2019)

Not As Good As Everyone Says

[6/10 · 6 March 2021]

First and foremost, it looks gorgeous.

I love the gritty 70s New York City atmosphere: the run-down apartments; the dirty alleyways; the authentic-looking clothes; the tall, gothic buildings. Phenomenal.

But, ironically, it looks like any other comic book origin story: There's a miserable, aspiring comedian who is down on his luck. He gets picked on by everyone. He has problems with his mother, his boss, his coworkers, etc. His idol, a famous comedian and late show host, humiliates him on national television. And so on, and so on.

Maybe that's the point--or the joke--but it's still formulaic.

Joaquin Phoenix's acting was a bit awkward at times but still good. You can tell that he's really passionate about the roll, which is kind of rare these days. There's nothing to say about the other actors, since Phoenix's character is the main focus. They're all talented people who did their jobs.

A bit overated.

Good Time (2017)

Exciting from Beginning to End

[9/10 · 6 March 2021]

Movies with an atmosphere that draws you in are always incredible. And the best way (or maybe the only way) to achieve this is a combination of music, acting, and visuals that compliment each other seemlessly.

But as great as the acting and the camerawork are, the music is the best thing about the film. It helps the movie preserve the suspense as Robert Pattinson's character, an ex-con who just got out of prison and might be headed back very soon, desperately tries to avoid the police and figure out what to do next.

The movie makes you feel what the character feels as he attempts to promptly deal with one obstacle after another.

Please watch this movie.

Good Girls (2018–2021)

Better Than I Thought

[5/10 · 6 March 2021]

Pretty much everything about the show is "been there, done that," but the acting and the dialogue is alright.

Christina Hendricks, both talented and depressingly beautiful, deserved her own show for years, so it's nice to see her in a role that lasted more than 5 mins. Mae Whitman and Retta, also underrated come to think of it, are very good as well.

I wish the show was more original, but it kept me awake.

Ratched (2020)

American Horror Story Again

[4/10 · 6 March 2021]

A very unnecessary show from the start, but if done right it would've been great.

It looks beautiful: from the classic, spotless hospital Nurse Ratched works in, to the shiny vintage cars. That acting in general is good (Sarah Paulson is great).

But the music is overbearing. Maybe it's overbearing on purpose. I don't care. It's too distracting most of the time.

Everything felt artificial. Probably because every character seemed deranged. Movies and TV shows where everyone is basically the same character are usually dull. It's like not having characters at all.

But the main problem is that every season of American Horror Story (for the last few years at least. Those are the ones I watched) is the same. Ratched is just another AHS season.

If fans don't care, then have at it.

Batwoman (2019–2022)

I Need More!

[1/10 · 6 March 2021]

Despite the red flags (like the painful trailer), I tried to be as open-minded as possible.

I expected the lack of creativity, because unfortunately that's very common with network television. But there's nothing genuine about the show at all. Every single character is an action movie cliché. Come to think of it, the same can be said about the acting (which ranges from corny to slab of granite), the dialogue (a top 100 list of 90s action one-liners), and the music (standard "pop music" and stock music fresh from the WB network vault).

"That's the point" and "it's just a comic book show" isn't enough. It's impossible for me to be entertained (unironically) when the show is a checklist of ideas that have been recycled countless times.

I don't care if it's a show about the Care Bears. I want a show that at least tricks me into thinking they spent a great deal of time perfecting every episode.

I'm not being melodramatic when I say that nothing about this show is original or genuine.

The show is a fun trainwreck I guess, but everything about the show is so lazy that it seems wrong to recommend it as ironic entertainment.

Big Mouth (2017–2025)

Too Generic, Too Dated, and Too "Shocking"

[3/10 · 3 March 2021]

Every joke and trope on the show is 20 years old: talking to the audience, gross-out humor (and other weird attempts at being edgy), kids who talk and act like adults, dated pop culture references, "girls are horney too?!!!"

Big Mouth is a 90s stand-up comic telling stories about his childhood. In fact, it's every 90s stand-up comic telling stories about their childhood.

Stories that we have all heard before, plus awkward, unnecessary shock comedy. Including brief moments of child nudity.

I know the show is supposed to be a guide for kids going through puberty (hence the child nudity), but it's too much.

Most of the songs seems a bit artificial. A song about life being a "f@cked up mess" is another example of how dated the show feels. "Life sucks" is the most unoriginal thing to say ever.

I can sort of see other people liking it, but the show definitely doesn't do it for me.