Change Your Image
mcassatt
Reviews
Troll (1986)
You've seen the box, now see the movie.
Troll is one of those movies whose box I see on almost every trip to the horror section of any given video store, but I had never seen it...until now. First off the movie wastes no time, the title is in the first shot and within the first 5 minutes a little girl is abducted by trolls. Also the list of stars in the opening credit was amazing including, but not limited to Sonny Bono, Lassie's June Lockheart, and Seinfeld's Julia Louis Dreyfuss. The low budget feel of this film makes it a classic 80's horror masterpiece and the nonsensical plot makes it a pleasure to watch and make jokes to your friends about. A particularly amazing scene is when all of the goblin/ troll creatures sing this completely incoherent yet amazingly catchy little song/chant and a talking mushroom covers the falsetto part. Anyway next time you have 86 minutes to kill give this diamond in the rough a try. I haven't been this impressed with an old horror movie since the Stuff.
Junior (1985)
No, not that movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger has a baby.
This one's about two prostitutes who just got out of jail to start a new life in a small town, only there's one small problem, and it's name is Junior. The box makes it sound like this is your classic slasher flick, comparing itself to both "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" and clearly stating it's "a cut above the rest." Here's the problem with that, the movie's only 80 minutes long and the only things that die by the hour mark are a plant and a dog. But any movie that features a scene where a girl makes a gas bomb out of her bikini can't be all bad.
Satan's Cheerleaders (1977)
A new high for low budget cinema
My friends and I consider ourselves experts in the genre of low budget horror. We've seen a lot of these films, some are as terrible as we expected and some are mindnumbingly awesome. Satan's Cheerleaders is definitely one of the latter. The action never stops from start to finish, the story seems to be made up on the spot, the acting is endearingly awful, and the characters are as stereotypical as they come. Special effects? Magnificent. If you like movies that are so bad they're incredible do yourself a favor and find a copy of Satan's Cheerleaders.