tgcme Reviews

The Devil Below (2021)

So bad it's just bad.

[3/10 · 31 March 2024]

The problem with this movie is that everyone in it is trying to damn hard to make this a better movie than what it can be. There's no humor or self-awareness. There's no levity of "hey, we're a B movie!"

This movie wants to be a grown up so badly. What it really wants to be is The Descent. But without any of the skill or budget it took to make The Descent.

Instead, this is the cheap knock off version that thinks it is waaaaay, waaaay more than it is.

Plot- unbearably nonsensical and stupid Dialogue- stilted and very "freshman acting 101" Acting- please. Don't insult real actors.

Special effects- ain't nobody got the budget for that

I'm honestly offended with myself that I watched this. Well, watched is a generous word. It was on and I was in the room. So.....

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

one of my top Westerns

[8/10 · 13 March 2024]

This is a great entry into Western with a twist. Instead of doing a straight up classic story, they mixed in some horror and that really sets this movie apart. Instead of "white man good, red man bad" or "white man conflicted. White savior of red man", they completely do away with the natives all together except for one who has assimilated into white man culture. The Indigenous/First Nation/ Native American element in the movie is skirted completely by having them be a type of "troglodyte" (yes, that's what the only actual Native character calls them, saying no Indigenous tribes will associate with them in any way. They are the "Hills Have Eyes"-Western version.

I like that about this movie. I like that it's a Western that entertains without wading into political and cultural danger territory.

Also- it's very funny. Plenty of quirky humor, one-liners, and punchy comedy. It's just fun.

Also- a great solid cast of great solid actors. They're given good dialogue and they have chemistry together.

This movie hit for me in almost every way. I scored it really high for that reason. The only thing I didn't like was the gore. And there is gore. There is a torture scene that is straight out of a horror movie. It hurts to even try to watch.

Overall, I've watched this movie several times and love it.

Quarantine (2008)

it's a good entry for this subgenre

[6/10 · 10 February 2024]

A lot of familiar actors to help everyone bring their acting game up kept this from the skirts of a "b" movie. I thought the acting was the best part of the movie, honestly. It also did a really good job making use of the set to really feel claustrophobic yet also move the plot along by having various places for the actors to go to keep things visually moving.

The rest was pretty standard fare, not bad just foreseeable. And of course everyone is in such a constant state of panic that nobody takes the time to think. A lot of problems could have been pretty easily avoided if anyone had stopped to really think through the smartest way to do things. A lot of this movie is simply stupid people doing stupid things to further the action.

And I like it better was the cause is kept really vague. It ruined it for me when they found the "big boss".

Villains (I) (2019)

A campy thriller that slaps

[8/10 · 7 February 2024]

There are films that are high art and there are films that are crowd-pleasers. This is a crowd-pleaser but done with skill that moves it past a simple "popcorn muncher" movie.

It's got a great, talented cast. It's got a hilarious script. It's offbeat and hella quirky. It's one of my favorite subgenres-a subverted home invasion.

There's real horror, deliciously dark humor, and a fun storyline.

So don't let all the high-art people convince you to pass the film by unless you are one of those high-art people.

Just watch the movie and enjoy it because it's well done and fairly original for a basic storyline that's been done many times over.

I really liked it. More importantly-I'll watch it again.

Maggie Moore(s) (2023)

A satisfactory one time watch

[7/10 · 3 January 2024]

This movie is a nice viewing on a popcorn and a movie kinda night. It starts off a bit slow and meandering. Cards are all laid out on the table, you're watching a decent murder investigation with no real questions because you already know what's going on. But the third act comes in hot with an OMG WTF that launches into a rather tense finale with some real stakes and a fairly satisfying ending.

I think movies like this need support. It's okay to sit through a movie that isn't force feeding you "action" all the time. It's okay to let a movie marinate. It's okay to sit through the beats rather than constant jump cuts.

The language was a bit much for me. But overall, a decent independent movie at a time when Hollywood needs to return back to decent original movies.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

a boring crap fear of half baked ideas

[5/10 · 10 December 2023]

So long yet nothing happens.

So tense yet 90% of the tension comes from bizarre camera angles and strange soundtrack choices in a vain effort to distract you from the fact that this movie doing nothing.

Boring. Boring. So boring.

Too much shoe-horned exposition.

Too much wandering aimlessly too much of absolutely nothing.

It's supposed to be a deep, political exploration of what would happen to the average citizen if America were to be destabilized. And the answer is: they'd sit around and wander around and generally mope around. That's very boring. Nothing about this movie hits. Nothing about this movie hits any of the right notes.

I want my time back!

Hubie Halloween (2020)

Absolutely no laughs despite being a comedy

[3/10 · 31 October 2023]

I didn't laugh once. None of the jokes landed. Some I kinda huffed a brief smile. But it was either cringe or boredom. Not a single joke landed. The plot itself could have been okay in anyone else's hands. But in Sandler's this is a sophomoric effort at best and a totally self-indulgent failure at worst.

So horrendously unfunny, I was so bored and disinterested and, at times, annoyed.

There is a plot and it's wasted on terrible acting, terrible dialogue, incredibly unfunny jokes and juvenile gags.

Okay, I'll be honest, I'm writing this during the finale.

And one, one single joke, got a brief chuckle. Kevin James managed to get a chuckle.

Skip this movie. Just skip it.

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

an absolute waste of a franchise

[2/10 · 22 October 2023]

They were trying for something but I have no idea what it was. This movie is simply a saturday morning B-movie to have on in the background while you clean your house. Absolutely tepid. No real scares. No real anything. Special effects aren't great. Acting is like they all got blackmailed into being in this, dialogue is cringe-inducing and wooden, nobody seems to care they are even in this movie and some don't seem to know the camera's rolling. Total yawn fest with an idiotic attempt at a plot.

I'm sad the much more deserving boy from ET all grown up had to be in this when he just did a much better job in Fall of the House of Usher. Utter tripe.

Intrusion (II) (2021)

Color by numbers with broken crayons

[4/10 · 28 August 2023]

Yeah, anyone with any sense of how movies work knows exactly what this movie is from jump. It telegraphs itself with no subtlety at all. I'm not sure it's even trying to do that.

And then once we get to the big finale, it's just appalling how the only way they can propel the plot forward is for the women to be as abjectly stupid as possible.

If you watch it just to have something on to watch, it's fine. It's just another movie. It's serviceable, I suppose. It's not completely unwatchable. But it's not smart and it's not anything you haven't seen done way better.

I liked the main character more than most people on here seem to. I think she's the only reason to actually watch it and finish it.

Who Is Erin Carter?: Episode #1.1 (2023) Season 1, Episode 1

Tapped out quick

[4/10 · 27 August 2023]

I turned it off after about 15 minutes. Right after the inciting incident of the store robbery. This show has the hallmarks of "paint by numbers" all over it.

Those first minutes were just unbelievable. It basically starts from jump with her daughter beating up another student. Apparently, in Barcelona, you're allowed to attack another student and beat them bloody with absolutely no repercussions.

Seriously. All that happens is that she can't stay in the musical and her mom literally says "Never do that again." That's it. And the story moves on.... I'm sorry, what???

And the whole reason for them being in the supermarket in the first place and how that whole thing goes down....beyond dumb. Beyond dumb.

Swing and a miss.

Polaroid (I) (2019)

You've already seen better versions

[4/10 · 13 August 2023]

Half this movie's already short runtime is overly long "tension-building" to a character's imminent death. You know from the plot which character is slated next to go and they all get these murky extended scenes leading up to death. These scenes are tedious, too dark to see, completely lacks any visual interest. You know they're gonna die, it's not even a secret. It's literally the plot. So why on earth they thought we needed to watch each character walk around in the dark for 15 minutes before the death is beyond me. So boring. So unnecessary. It shows they had such a thin plot, they had to pad out the runtime in anyway possible.

Tin & Tina (2023)

Better than its score

[7/10 · 8 August 2023]

Why is it scoring so low? Probably because people these days don't like low-budget, slow-burn indies? I couldn't say.

This is definitely a low-budge, slow-burn indie.

It's not clear if it has a lot say and you have to mine for it or if it's just what it seems.

I really liked it. I was invested and it kept my attention.

It didn't swing for the fences the way it could have but there were some great scenes of dramatic tension and high stakes.

I mean, yeah, there are flaws. But name a movie without flaws.

I could point to some things that would have really kicked things up a notch but that's not what this movie wants to be.

I thought everyone did a great job with the material.

Definitely worth a watch.

The one thing I did find most distracting was the mom's physical disability which varies greatly from scene to scene and didn't really add anything to the plot.

River Wild (2023)

The premise deserved better

[5/10 · 7 August 2023]

This movie is a classic case of stupid decisions being made to further the plot.

The acting is serviceable, Brody doing the heavy lifting.

But the plot suffers from cliches and tropes. The script is, at times, painful. With clunky, stilted expositional lines that just can't replace the solid script theory of "show don't tell."

it gets ridiculously "I am woman, hear me roar" towards the end.

I appreciate a good attempt at something indie. It has promise. It kept my interest. I actually did feel invested.

They did a lot of things right.

But at the end of it all, stupid people doing stupid things is what keeps this movie moving forward.

School Spirits (2023– )

4 episodes in and YOU should be watching it!

[8/10 · 19 March 2023]

I found this last night and hardcore binged all 4 episodes. This show is crazy good.

Supernatural happenings- check Nuanced characters- check tongue-in-cheek humor - double check perfect balance of light and dark subject matter- yup Good use of effects- yes but I would like to see an expansion. The show's playing it cheap when it comes to needing any effects at all.

Suspense and a good whodunnit- Absolutely Lack of typical teen drama melodramatics- surprisingly

It's fresh. It's sweet. It's funny. It's dark.

My only real complaint is that absolutely ZERO of these "teens" look like they have any business near a high school. Yes, they are good actors except when it comes to acting like they're still teenagers. Or even in their twenties. I mean how old are these actors?!

But I just pretend it's set in college. And it makes more sense.

Actually, a lot of this could have been worked around a community college setting and it would have been as good.

Wreck (2022– )

Balls to the Walls Crazy and it WORKS!!!!

[8/10 · 10 March 2023]

This show is so insane. It fully leans into the embrace of what it is. A glorious irreverent, off the wall, totally bonkers and unpredictable schlock-fest.

It has humor, scares, gore, suspense, and plenty of Heart. You have characters you love, characters you love to hate, and characters you just hate.

There's something for everyone.

It has dark humor and it just absolutely goes for it with no holds barred.

I am So ready for a season 2! This one season can stand alone as a capsule but it stands ready for a season 2 also. It has twists and turns and character growth. I genuinely jumped a few times from suspense.

Very well done.

Life (I) (2017)

more horror than thriller. scary, sad, bleak

[7/10 · 15 January 2023]

It it tonally misleading. In the beginning, you think, mostly from Ryan Reynold's performance, that he is the outer-space cowboy and you're going with him on an alien adventure. He's kind of quippy and you think this movie is going to have some self-awareness and it will be a bit cheeky and maybe you'll have some fun fighting the aliens.

NO!!!!! Oh my gawd, NO!!!!!!

The movie then decides that is NOT the movie it wants to be and goes for a total tonal shift into horror. So. Much. Horror.

This movie is dark. This movie is bleak. The ending had me traumatized.

This went from "Fun, aliens!" to *screaming* This move is NOT FUN.

This movie is horror to the core.

Barbarians (2021)

Made it about 15 minutes

[3/10 · 8 January 2023]

I literally made it maybe 15 minutes before I was skipping ahead and seriously annoyed with every creative decision the film had made. When you're that annoyed so quickly, just turn it off and find something else.

Life is too short to suffer bad movies.

I thought the plot sounded good. I really liked those types of movies. I didn't care it had been done before. I really dig that type of movie AND it has Ramsey Bolton from GoT so I was down to watch it!

But every single thing about what was happening annoyed me so badly with how juvenilely handled it was. Every single thing was just school-project worthy. No real professionals made this. I'm out!

Will Trent (2023– )

Mind-numbingly average fare

[5/10 · 6 January 2023]

Just another cop show where their detective is "special", where he's smart and cops are dumb.

He has a color-by-number traumatic child full of cliches and tropes, including a throwaway line about sexual abuse. Check.

He has color-by-number colleagues that together form a web of stereotypes. Like playing Stereotype Pinball.

Nothing about this show is new, original, or creative. It's all been done before and done better.

It was just.....average. A bleary, unnecessary "average"

Did it hit all the story beats? Yep Quirky humor? Check A sprinkle and a smatter of woke politics? Ta Da!

Every necessary trope and cliche? Bingo Overall- harmlessly forgettable.

The Black Phone (2021)

Scary but feels incomplete

[7/10 · 6 January 2023]

I'm not a horror person. But this, while deeply unsettling, isn't fully a horror genre movie. I'd said it skews more teen/thriller/paranormal. A la Stranger Things. In fact, it is very much like ST in many ways but without the charm and fun.

Everyone acts really well.

But something is just missing from the script. Like there are deleted scenes that should have been kept. If you really think about the plot for any length of time, it all unravels very quickly. You have to just stay in the moment and not actually think about anything.

There are so many elements to this story that feel half-done and unfinished.

1- What was up with the mother?

2- The relationship between grabber and his brother 3- Was the grabber a victim himself once?

4- The black phone itself Just so many ideas that are ineptly explored in no real satisfying way.

So- Serviceable ploT fair acting scary and unsettling Feels unfinished.

My Policeman (2022)

Harry and Patrick shine. everyone else dulls

[7/10 · 2 January 2023]

The reason to watch this movie is Harry Styles. He's by far the one giving the most energy, followed closely by Patrick.

The others just don't seem to care they're even in this movie.

I found young Marion frightfully dull. Casting older actors baffles me because I think they could have made it work with the younger cast aged up.

I thought the older versions were flat, one-note, and there was absolutely no chemistry between any of them, especially Tom and Patrick. It made no sense. And I just thought it fell really flat and the sentiment rang hollow at the end. Too little too late.

Where have they been all these intervening years? It just felt like the missing time needed to be addressed. Needed some sort of connector between past and present. There needed to be scenes between the timelines to really connect them. So while I love Harry and Patrick, the plot they got stuck in couldn't live up to them.

The Invitation (II) (2022)

For the twilight fans who aged

[3/10 · 29 December 2022]

If you want to like Twilight but you don't want to admit it because it stopped being cool ages ago, this is for you. Written by girls who hid Twilight deep down in their souls waiting for the day they could make a grown up movie.

Read all the other reviews and they're true.

This movie is vapid, cliche, and just so so stupid.

Nothing about it really works.

It could have been pretty good but it forgot to be good.

It's too rushed, too absurdly contrived, to overloaded with attempted lore. It needed to be longer and it needed to be R. It needed to lean in and own it's premise instead of pulling punches.

And it needed much much better actors.

Murder Bury Win (2020)

Better than it should have been

[7/10 · 18 December 2022]

This is a hidden gem on Amazon. It's clearly a low budget film but it really should be a lot more well known. It was released in 2020 so I think maybe covid has us all preoccupied.

Everything about this movie worked for me.

And that surprised me.

I was constantly expecting this move to skew into failure territory and it never did.

They even managed to clinch the ending.

Watch it because it's original. It's fresh. It's not a reboot, a prequel, threequel, it's not anything except a cool premise that is relevant, realistic in a way, and just plain kooky enough to work.

So watch it. It's a way to spend your time and laugh.

Gone in the Night (2022)

Winona must know this film students family

[3/10 · 10 December 2022]

This is a crappy film that could only be someone's attempt at a big break. They must know Winona somehow personally or else I can't imagine how she got roped into this absolute travesty.

Where does it go wrong? Where doesn't it?

The dialogue The plot The acting It all just plain sucks The ending is atrocious.

Winona could not have possibly wanted to do this. There had to be some sort of compulsion at work. Either a contract or a favor or family obligation.

It's the dialogue and the delivery that really fails.

Nobody enjoyed making this movie.

Just spare yourself. Nothing works. Nothing.

Winona! Oh my sweet Winona!

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)

Hilarious Hot Garbage

[3/10 · 26 November 2022]

This movie is so mindlessly stupid that it's the perfect movie to have on when you just want some funny noise while you do other things. Seriously. No brain cells required. No brain cells injured in the making of this film. But it does accidentally wander into the "so bad it's good" territory. They went at this movie with gusto. Someone thought they were doing a good job. So turn it on.

You don't even have to watch the first one because they very helpfully recap absolutely everything you need to know at the beginning and throughout the movie. I kinda actually want to watch the first one though because that looks like it might actually be a shade more interesting.

Hellhole (2022)

Safely in the so bad it's good territory

[2/10 · 1 November 2022]

This is stupid, shallow, and written by people with no sense of a craft. It's lackluster, derivative, and cliche.

BUT- the climax. Oh the climax is screaming funny. Precisely because I can't tell if it's meant to be or not. It's totally WTF because you have NO idea what the writers were thinking! Are they serious? Is it satire? Are they trying to be funny? Do they think they're being legit?

What are they doing?!?!!!

And you just have to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Watch this and just get a kick at imagining these guys making this film. Because I mean....damn.

I guess they tried. They tried. 🤣