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Reviews
Hemlock Grove (2013)
Dull Disappointing Farce
This show is so bad. It may be one that gathers a cult following where people can sit and make fun of the characters, the dialogue, the writing....it's all terrible! Netflix did OK with House of Cards, but this is just awful. Hard to believe that Eli Roth was in charge of this. A major disappointment considering some of his movies. And it's excruciatingly slow. It seems that there are many, many scenes that are nothing but filler. Just some boring dialogue to fill in the gaps and try and lengthen each show. And there are a lot of gaps! After a while I just wanted a rock to drop out of the sky on one of the characters. Any one! Just so that something happened! You'll watch show after show, thinking "well maybe the next one is better and something interesting actually happens." Terrible dialogue + horribly miscast characters + awful writing.....it all adds up to a disaster!
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Lots of stars, few laughs
I checked this movie out based on the recommendation of a local movie critic. He mentioned all of the young actors (mostly unknown at the time) and how the movie was underrated. Well he was dead wrong! There are a couple of good laughs involving Paul Rudd, but mostly this movie is just terrible! There's a reason most people have never heard of this film. Halfway through this film I kept checking the clock, thinking "is this over yet!?" The only redeeming feature of this movie is to play "name that star". Some are young enough that they are hardly recognizable (i.e. Bradley Cooper). Save yourself the wasted time and go rent "Meatballs", an actual fun and funny camp movie.
Halloween (2007)
Total garbage
Rob Zombie should stick to making bad music rather than bad movies. He was stupid enough to try and remake a classic and ends up with the worst movie of 2007. He shouldn't have even been allowed to call his movie "Halloween", it's such an embarrassment.
The point of a horror movie is to scare the audience. This movie contains virtually no scares. The real horror in this movie is that it takes almost 2 hours to play out.
Zombies "new angle" of creating a background for Michael Myers murderous behavior is so boring and unimaginative and get the movie off to such a slow start that you lose interest pretty quickly. Not that the second half of this movie is any better.
Don't waste your money or time on this one. If you want scares, go rent the original!