ste_to_the_phen Reviews

Wild Child (2008)

So bad it's bordering on genius.

[7/10 · 10 January 2009]

I'm a 20 year old male and was roped in to seeing this with my girlfriend, and I'm glad for it. The film has an incredibly predictable storyline, the acting isn't great, most of it complete and utter non-sense and most of events in the film hold little to no purpose.

I've gave it a high rating, however, because I don't think I've laughed quite as much at a film as I have at this one for a long, long time. I think the phrase 'so genius it's bordering on madness' applies here: the film isn't good, but that's where it succeeds. It's one of those films that aren't meant to be taken seriously, and as such you can just relax, and have a laugh. I spent a good hour or so crying of laughter, and I could't even catch my breath during the "I'm Spartacus" motif in the 'Honour Court' -- unintended comedy genius.

While it's no Space Odyssey and has less character depth in the entire film than is seen in one minute of A Clockwork Orange, it is nevertheless worth the watch.

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

Without a doubt the worst film I've ever seen.

[1/10 · 23 November 2007]

I'm not sure I've seen a film so poorly executed as Die Hard 4.0. I attempted to steer clear of the fourth Die Hard for as long as I could, simply out of notion that I knew it would ruin a fantastic trilogy. I only wish i'd of stuck with my original judgement, and not decided to rent it after stumbling across the 7.8 rating on IMDb - (Idiotically I never read much into the reviews).

Firstly; i'd like to make it clear to any avid film-goer - avoid this film like the plague. If you're into the whole "making ill-thought CGI exploison after exploison" thing, this is probably your cup of tea. I could barely watch the film without the persistent thought in my mind that it had absolutely nothing to do with Die Hard franchise, instead, it seems to just be another run-of-the-mill trashy Hollywood (note the decapitalization)revamp which adheres not even remotely to the original plot nor characters. To be fair, I'm sure the name of the film only includes the words "Die" and "Hard" so it would line the pockets of the higher-uppers.

In fact, on second thought - I'm not even sure WHY i'm writing this review. It's so disgustingly bad i'm not even sure it deserves any literary response, let alone any positive emotional response. In fact, I urge all of you to go see this movie, you can only truly appreciate how appalling this film is if you see it with your own eyes. I'm not even sure that if I was to write an in-depth review, that I would be able to exude just how poor a sequel it is.

1/10 - it doesn't even deserve the 1. I think I lost at least a thousand more brain cells watching it.