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smdst35
Reviews
Til Death Do Us Part (2023)
With a different cast, this might have been good
It's hard to get invested in a movie like this when every single character is unlikable. I won't get into the plot, which was pretty predictable from the start, because it's not the problem with this movie. Even if you ignore the twist you could see coming a mile away, it wouldn't matter. There's no one to root for. The actress playing The Bride comes off as cold and lacking personality. She has zero chemistry with The Groom, which makes their relationship unbelievable and nullifies much of the motivation for the whole plot. The fact that most of the characters don't even have names should tell you something. No one is given any real character development. No one behaves like an actual human being. The banter between the groomsmen feels forced and isn't remotely funny. When people start dying, you genuinely have no one to root for because nothing that's happening makes sense and you have no attachment to any of the characters. It's like the people behind the scenes were trying so hard to be clever, they forgot the basic principles of storytelling. But a better cast might have actually been able to push past the weakness of the script. An actress who had chemistry with the man she was supposed to love, who delivered lines with emotion that actually fit the scene and didn't spit out every word like she was pissed off, could have been a sympathetic lead. But as it stands, the movie wasn't the worst I've seen but I certainly wouldn't watch it again or recommend it.
Insectula! (2015)
Who is rating this movie so highly?
I tried. I did. I'm always willing to give low budget movies a chance and I love a good creature feature. This is not that. The tone is all over the place. It can't decide if it wants to be campy or serious so it winds up falling on all sides. The acting is painful. The gore is just over the top, and not in a fun way. None of the characters behave like actual human beings and their relationships are never explained (who are Hanna and Yasmine to the detective? Girlfriends? Daughters? Random hookers?). We slip into bizarre dream scenarios or episodes of insanity. There's a scientist (?) who seems to randomly remember he's supposed to be putting on a fake German accent. And I guess there's also a giant bug from space? This movie isn't fun, or funny, or even entertaining. It's stupid and gross and a total waste of time. There are some great no budget horror/sci-fi films out there - like Evil Dead or Bad Taste. Don't waste your time on this.
Boar (2017)
Did you know boars can teleport?
They can in Australia apparently! I love a good creature feature and I tried really hard to keep an open mind with this one but I just couldn't get past the stupidity here. Okay, the dialogue is a bit sketch (I am not from Australia, so maybe it's the norm to talk about sex acts you've performed with your girlfriend when you're on a road trip with her family). And I suppose character development is not really necessary when you're bouncing around between a bunch of characters with no clear lead. I am even willing to overlook (mild spoiler) the fact that there is no explanation ever given as to where this giant boar came from. I guess, it's just... Australia? But the fact that this boar seems to randomly appear like some sort of outback porcine Freddy Krueger? No. That's where I draw the line. One minute it's rustling in the bushes and the next... poof, right there! I mean, c'mon! An animal that size is not going to be all stealth. Not to mention the fact that, in many areas where it attacks, the land is wide open! How is it sneaking up on people when there is literally no place for it to hide? I am guessing it also has the ability to change size at random because, even in areas where there is cover, the boar would be too big for anyone to not see it... and yet... This isn't a bad movie by any means but it's not as fun as it could be.