robertboylex Reviews

America's Funniest Home Videos (1989– )

Still On...

[2/10 · 22 September 2014]

This show is still on and going strong and by strong I mean they somehow haven't run out of videos of guys getting hit in the groin by their kids with plastic wiffle ball bats yet. And we never will because now everyone tapes everything so every time one of these "accidents" happens, and I put that in quotes because a lot of the time on this show it seems pretty obvious that people are deliberately doing stupid things just to try to get on the show and to hopefully win the thousands of dollars prize money. I used to like this show as a kid but now I can't stand it because it's just the same stuff week after week, and Tom Bergeron is the unfunniest hack in the world, he somehow manages to make Bob Saget look fantastic.

Gravity (2013)

Spinning

[2/10 · 27 February 2014]

This movie has a lot of spinning in it, weightless floating in outer space.

That mostly sums up the entire movie for you and is all you need to know going in to viewing this movie, that it has lots and lots and lots of spinning.

Sandra Bullock spins all over the place after her accident, and she is just spinning around and around and around in circles all over the place in space.

I recommend this movie if you are a fan of watching people spin around a lot.

Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007–2012)

Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch Little Mosque Again

[1/10 · 20 September 2010]

This is a list of things that I would rather do than ever have to watch Little Mosque on the Prairie again..... I would rather give myself a hundred billion paper cuts and then dive into a bath tub full of salt, I would rather let a horse kick me right in the nads, I would rather be sent to the toughest prison in the country for a life sentence with the words "I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND" tattooed onto my face, I would rather watch This Hour Has 22 Minutes and Royal Canadian Air Farce Back to Back..... I would rather get back together with my ex girlfriend Tina who is the craziest person I have met in my entire life and who would sometimes wake me up by screaming "I LOVE YOU!!!!" in my ear to the point where I would almost be made deaf for the rest of my life..... I would rather shoot myself in the stomach, I would rather vote for Stephen Harper, I would rather live on a diet of nothing but bugs, mold and animal feces, I would rather do anything than have to see this show again in my entire life, it is the worst show I have ever seen bar none.

Devil (2010)

Not Awful

[2/10 · 20 September 2010]

Spoilers are for other m. Night movies. I was expecting the worst movie I could imagine when I went into this. The previews looked so stupid and I expected a typical M. Night Shyamalan decent first 5 minutes before the plot fell apart and turned into a ridiculous twisting turning yet totally predictable piece of child-written "thriller" crap about plants trying to poison us into committing mass suicide or aliens running away because one of us finally hit it with a baseball bat and they realized that it's not a good idea to invade a planet that is 3/4 water when water is poison to them. Yep M. Night became a total hack director in my mind right after Sixth Sense and maybe Unbreakable was OK though I didn't like it I think most of my friends did. Also I'll point out that Sixth Sense was really annoying to me the second time I watched it. Anyway the big plus of this movie, it's not directed by Shyamalan and the cinematography in the cramped elevator/direction is actually pretty good. The story is still very dumb with the group of people stuck on the elevator with the devil and it becomes old hat very quick. But I can actually sit through this unlike most M. Night movies I have seen. So bad, so bad....

Texas Rangers (2001)

Terrible!

[1/10 · 27 October 2009]

This movie is terrible. The only value that can possibly come from watching this awful film is the unintentional laughs you'll get from it several times during the otherwise entirely wasted hour and a half you'll spend watching this. Okay here is a good place to give you this advice, don't waste that hour and a half, watch something else or do something else, I kept watching thinking and hoping it would have to get better but it never did. The writing is pathetic but what really stands out is the incredibly pathetic acting, Ashton Kutcher stinks in everything I've seen him in but this performance is by far the worst I've ever seen from him, maybe it's because this is the only non-comedy role I've seen him in so him trying to do drama really stands out as just wrong. James Van Der Beek is very bad in this too but he still shines next to Ashton Kutcher. If you don't believe me and really do have an hour and a half to waste then watch it, you will get a couple chuckles out of watching Ashton Kutcher deliver lines in a pathetic attempt to "act".

Blood Creek (2006 Video)

Awful

[2/10 · 24 October 2009]

The only "horror" that comes from this movie is the horror you will experience after watching it when you try to figure out how in the world something this bad could be made and go insane. Also I am horrified that someone actually paid $1.99 to get this horrible DVD and all they bought with that money was the opportunity to have one and a half hours of their sweet precious life stolen away from them! I want my hour in a half back, how was I even able to sit through this horrible movie? I have never seen worse acting and the script is so awful it goes beyond being laughingly bad (which at least isn't a total loss because you at least get a couple laughs out of it, some enjoyment) to just awful bad. This movie really is that bad. Again I can't complain enough about the horrible direction, pathetic writing that seems to have been done by a 7 year old boy who just watched Blair Witch Project or maybe even just improvised on the fly by the terrible cast, which again reminds me to complain about how awful the actors are in this awful awful movie. I certainly hope whoever made this movie never ever works again.

The Ron James Show (2009–2014)

Unbelievably Unfunny

[3/10 · 23 October 2009]

This show is awful. Just when the CBC finally makes it look like they are doing something right and like they are trying to appeal to more of an audience than just our grandparents by finally cancelling that lumbering unfunny dinosaur "Royal Canadian Air Farce"... they go ahead and replace it with another dinosaur. Ron James is not a bad comedian I guess but this show is awful. Most of it is Ron James doing stand up comedy but it just gets old even though he gets a smile out of me here or there. Every show has a theme and sketches etc. The animation is not bad quality wise but the writing in this show is a major flaw, I don't know if Ron James writes everything himself, or just his stand up comedy, or if it is all written for him, but I suspect maybe he writes everything and that is why it seems so thin. The sketches are really bad. I give it a 3 because some of his stand up comedy is okay but the sketches especially are terrible and like I said even the stand up wears real thin real fast. When will the CBC learn they need to start trimming some of the old show fat ("This Hour Has 22 Minutes", "Rick Mercer Report") instead of adding more shows with outdated comedy aimed at our grandparents? They will have no audience left pretty soon.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Hugley Disappointing

[2/10 · 22 October 2009]

I don't see who in the world is giving this movie a "10" unless maybe it is ADD / ADHD afflicted 12 year olds who have absolutely no care about a movie beyond how many painfully-bad green screen car chases and explosions there are. This movie was terrible, just awful, and it took them how many years to make it?!?! Unbelievable. The first one was great, the next two were good and then almost great, then years of waiting, during which they made some pretty decent Young Indiana Jones Chronicles TV shows, then this flaming turdball of a movie that could have been written by a sixth grade creative writing class. It made no sense, the dialogue was awful, the new Mutt character is seriously annoying (then again I can't stand that actor he also stinks up the place in Transformers 1 and 2), and the effects are all so terrible it's absurd. What were they even trying to do here? Too bad they made money on this based on people like me going to see something hopefully almost as good as the first three were, now they will probably make a part five. I won't be fooled again though. I stopped watching Star Wars after the first prequel (even worse than this reboot!) and I won't watch another IJ project as long as I live. Truly horrible.

Naked News (1999– )

Awful Writing, Awful Reading, Nudity Novelty Wears Off.....

[2/10 · 22 October 2009]

This show is incredibly lame. I feel sorry for all the girls in it. I don't know if they think they are going to use this to launch into a "real career" in acting or dare I say even in the legitimate news world but they are definitely dreaming unless their dream is to be full scale porn stars in which case I'm sure someone would gladly use them for that. They simply aren't very good at reading the news, it's a talent that you don't even realize exists among the real news anchors until you see someone trying to do it who really can't, like these girls. Very awkward reading. And they are for the most part good looking but not hot enough to get back as successful actresses based on looks alone. Hopefully they are well paid and having a lot of fun but I really don't think so, I'm sure whoever runs this show is exploiting them to the max. The worst part about the show is the writing. Even if they could read the news in an interesting, professional way, it is just terrible. Not newsworthy for the most part and definitely not funny at all. They cram jokes into every story and every single joke is just pathetic. It's obvious they think "hey we got naked girls reading this it doesn't matter what they read". Well that novelty wears off after a few minutes and it's just okay looking girls taking off their clothes and reading awkwardly. Yawn. And if you're yawning at naked girls you know there's a serious problem. One more thing. I know a lot of lonely basement dwelling 30-something virgins are probably giving this show ratings of 10 but this show getting a 9 out of 10 average with 1000 votes? There is definitely some vote tampering going on here.

Puck Hogs (2009)

Awful Non-Comedy

[1/10 · 17 October 2009]

The VIFF reviews page at Third Row or whatever the publication is called hit the nail right on the head when they call this "a sad little comedy". Except I don't think the word comedy should even apply, does a film count as a comedy simply for trying to be a comedy or should it at least be funny at some point? The review does point out that the film is funny for the first five or ten minutes and I guess that is true in that at least it kept my interest for that long, but even if you like the beginning the movie is a real snooze fest from there on. The performances are all wooden and unfunny and you can tell the actors are just thinking "what the hell is going on and when can I just get paid and get out of here?" The director is Warren P. Sonoda and if you click on his name it takes you to other titles like Ham and Cheese and for anyone else out there who has seen Ham and Cheese you will know I am right to ask this question, "who keeps letting Warren P. Sonoda make movies?" The guy obviously has no clue what comedy is or even how to make a coherent or interesting film. The production values look sloppy and again, after the first few minutes the movie comes off the rails and becomes a series of scenes with confused actors playing oddball characters trying desperately to get a laugh. I think people were falling asleep during this movie. Not just saying that, it was that boring and that poorly received. I didn't see anyone walk out but after sitting through 20 minutes of this awful movie I grabbed my coat and was ready to walk out as soon as other people started to, I wish I had the guts to start the stampede for the exit myself, everyone else probably would have thanked me. There is some recognizable Canadian talent in the film but this is nobody's best work and again I think it comes down to a horrible script (after the first few minutes) and really incompetent directing. Avoid this movie unless you are a masochist.

Comedy Inc. (2002–2007)

One of the Worst Shows Ever

[1/10 · 15 October 2009]

Comedy Inc is one of the worst shows ever. I know people just go around saying that about any show that they don't like or that is bad, "this is the worst show ever", but in this case I really truly mean it. When I am watching it, I don't know why I punished myself like that but I did, I must be a masochist, but anyway whenever I watched it I literally believed I was watching the single worst TV comedy ever produced. It really is that bad and anyone reading this who has seen the show knows exactly what I am talking about, and anyone reading this who has never seen the show do yourself a favour and never ever try to watch this show it will just waste half an hour of your life and make you hate everything about life. If it wasn't for almost every other show on the Comedy Network then this show would be the worst all time, but since they have made even worse shows than this it is saved from the title of "all time worst".

Howie Do It (2008–2009)

Pathetic TV!

[1/10 · 14 October 2009]

This show is awful, I don't know if it has been cancelled but I have not seen it on television for a while (thank goodness!) so I hope that it has had the plug mercifully pulled and we will never have to expose our eyes to this pathetic excuse for a TV show ever, ever again. If this is "Howie Does It" I can't see why he can even leave his house without hired bodyguards because Howie whats his name is so unfunny and terrible it makes me want to vomit all over my TV. The hacky pranks they pull on people are even less funny than in Candid Camera reruns from the 1960s or whatever if you are going to rip off Candid Camera ideas at least make them funnier than they used to be! This show is just awful, the worst U.S. made comedy I have seen in years and I would say maybe the worst comedy show ever if it wasn't for almost every show produced on that constant waste of time network The Comedy Network in Canada.

MTV Live (I) (2006– )

The truth about couldcause

[1/10 · 13 October 2009]

Couldcause obviously either works for the show, or is related to or knows somebody who works for the show. Otherwise why would he/she/it lash out so venomously at the only other poster, Jenna S, simply because she doesn't like the show at all? Anyway I hate MTV Live too, and so does almost everybody I know, and judging by the ratings this show has pretty much everybody else who has ever seen it hates this show. That leaves couldcause and his/her/its friends pretty alone in the pro-MTV Live camp.

This show sucks, it really truly does. Sory, couldcause, but the cause you're fighting is a losing one. The show costs nothing to make and the hosts I doubt have people pounding down their doors to do other work so I think it's a safe bet it will stay on the air for years, MTV ratings are so low this is probably one of their best performing shows given it costs about $10 an episode to make and is therefore very cheap Canadian content, but that doesn't mean this show is good, or should be on.

And am I the only one who is alarmed that this MTV show is hosted by people who appear to be like 40 years old? Wouldn't you say that is a mistake? Say what you want about Much Music but at least they use hosts and VJs who are much closer to the age of their viewers.

Anyway, take a chill pill, couldcause :)

Hotbox (2009– )

Another Bad Comedy Network Show

[1/10 · 8 October 2009]

This show is just bad, unfortunately there is no other way to say it. I know what they were going for and it was a good and interesting idea, take what has worked on other new shows like Robot Chicken and Tim and Eric Awesome show and try to do that. Have very quick, short, fast sketches one after another so that if it is bad no big deal because you are moving on to another sketch very soon. The problem is that every single sketch I have seen on this show has just been awful, I mean really awful. They have a french toast hawk who keeps attacking the same two guys in animated scenes when they eat their french toast, viciously attacking them, then a narrator saying "the french toast board says eat more french toast", seriously they have this in every episode and it is not nearly as funny as it sounds to read that description of it. The acting is terrible but the main problem is that the writing is either terrible on non-existent. The show was probably written by potheads for potheads but I don't think anybody likes this show at all, I'm sure there are people who do but I have never met one myself, just people who either haven't heard of this show or saw it but hate it like me. The only sketches I saw that were funny at all were ones that totally come from other shows, for example they have a couple decently funny sketches that are series of still shots but this idea is lifted right from the show Tom Goes To The Mayor or whatever that show was called. Anyone who watches Tim and Eric Awesome Show will recognize a lot of similar ideas here but they are weaker written and not as funny in presentation. This is a really bad show all the way around, frankly I don't see how The Comedy Network is still on the air after all the awful shows they have produced over the years. Other than Puppets Who Kill and Jon Dore's Show they have never had anything worth watching to offer.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (2009–2014)

Maybe the Single Worst Late Night Show Ever... Terrible Writing

[1/10 · 5 October 2009]

This show is just a huge mess, not for even one lousy second in any of the twenty plus episodes I have watched so far has there been even the remote possibility that what they were doing could result in anything even approaching comedy. The jokes are all so pathetic, desperate and stupid that I imagine this show is written entirely by Jimmy "I Giggle At Every One of my own Non-Jokes" Fallon and his friends who presumably are still in grade nine. I seriously have never seen worse writing in a TV show in my entire life. Absolute garbage is what this show brings day in and day out which maybe could pass for some sort of entertainment with a decent host but when the writing is this bad and the only hope of spinning it into something even halfway decent is Jimmy Fallon you are in for a horrible time. This is easily the worst late night show I have ever seen and I am including Canada's Mike Bullard show in that mix, at least that show had some kind of comedy writing in it, even though it was almost never funny it was sometimes and they were at least trying. This show just goes through the motions every night. They deliberately do weird stuff assuming we will find it funny, well it's not, it's just stupid. They need to go back to the drawing board, get competent writers and probably a new host too. Just an awful mess of a show all around, I can't believe it's on TV, much less a major U.S. network. Someone needs to lose their job here.

Overboard (1987)

Interesting

[7/10 · 25 September 2009]

This movie isn't bad. I have heard about it before and I remember my sister loved this movie a while back (whe would have been too young to remember it coming out way back in 1987 I think mom had it on video or something and she just loved it). I just saw it again recently and it is actually a pretty good comedy film. I'm not much of a fan of Goldie Hawn but I really liked her in Private Benjamin and she is also very good in this as a stuck up princess type who drives the working class co-star out of his mind. She hires him to build a closet on her yacht and drives him insane with her demands and she hates his working class ways. They drive each other to open conflict and hate each other completely, so I guess you can guess how predictably this romantic comedy goes.... worth watching though.

House Party (2008– )

Why is the comedy network TRYING to ruin themselves?

[1/10 · 23 September 2009]

Most networks try to make good shows so people will watch them and they can stay on the air so why is it so obvious that the comedy network is trying their hardest to make the worst shows possible? I am only half joking here because being 100% serious there must be a reason why they are making such bad shows, is it that they want to be able to say that Canadian content rules just don't work because no good shows can be made here so that they will be allowed to run more imported UK and USA shows which are the only decent thing they broadcast on their network? The acting, writing, etc, is all putrid, this show doesn't even make any sense let alone the fact that not one second of it even approaches being funny. But when you realize just how many other shows this network has made that all I repeat ALL suck you have to admit something is clearly going on at this network and I suspect they must be doing this on purpose out of some hidden motive. Popcultured, Punched Up, Girls will be Girls, Kevin Spencer, Comedy Inc, seriously it can not be a coincidence that they make this many shows that are completely unwatchable.

Foreign Correspondent (1940)

Hitchcock

[8/10 · 19 November 2008]

I didn't even know this was a Hitchcock film until after I watched it, I am a Hitchcock fan but this didn't seem very much like his other classic movies, I loved this movie though it was awesome. The special effects scenes were very good considering this movie is from 1940. Joel McCrea was also fantastic as the lead character, I don't recognize him from any other movies I've seen but he was really great in this. The movie is a great story about World War Two starting and this reporter is trying to expose enemy agents in London before it's too late. It's a really good movie that I recommend to anyone who likes any older movies like this, if you don't like 'old' movies you won't like this movie obviously.

Jeff Ltd. (2005–2007)

One of the most terrible TV shows ever put on the air.

[1/10 · 13 April 2007]

Jeff Ltd is only limited in its own ability to make its viewers laugh or pay attention.

This show is one of the worst travesties ever put on the air.

Even by comedy network standards it is pretty much garbage and whoever put it on TV should be immediately fired.

The main character is annoying and not likable but also doesn't serve to make anyone laugh even once, it is just not a funny show or funny main character. The other characters also are not funny in the least.

Also the guy playing the main Jeff character can't act worth garbage so that's another reason to cancel this travesty.

Jeff Ltd is total garbage that could only make the worst and least intelligent people laugh.