cellomaster Reviews

Two's Company (1975–1979)

Doesn't fit the typical Britcom mold

[12 January 2004]

...and perhaps it's not supposed to.

The typical Britcom is assumed to leave you weeping with laughter. But the difference between "Two's Company" and a show like "Fawlty Towers" or "Keeping Up Appearances" is the silly humor factor. "Two's Company" is humerous on a level that is much more toned down; the show definitely has the chuckle moments, but I don't see where one would be rolling on the floor laughing all the way through.

That's not to say that the show isn't good, though. Dorothy McNab (Elaine Stritch) is an American author living in London in the 1970s. She's known all over the world, she's wealthy, so naturally she would need a butler to handle the day to day living. She winds up hiring Robert (Donald Sinden), and before long the two are bickering like old friends. The show is about their warm yet feisty working relationship together. The best part of the show is the unique chemistry they share.

It took me awhile to warm up to this show, but now I watch it on a regular basis. No, it's no "Vicar of Dibley" or "Are You Being Served?", but it's a good show for a few laughs here and there. I recommend it if you're looking for something lighthearted.

Caddyshack II (1988)

It's not THAT bad...

[3 December 2003]

...although I'll be the first to admit that it's not that good, either.

Fans of the original Caddyshack probably won't like this film (I can tell that right off from many of the reviews here). If you want to see this, it might be better to try and see it as a movie by itself and not as a sequel. It has its moments, but it isn't the original.

*May contain spoilers*

A mere 8 years after we first visited Caddyshack, all of the original members are gone except for two (the first hint that it won't be the same). We meet Kate Hartounian, a college girl and daughter of a wealther- not to mention goofy- building contractor, who is hoping that a membership at the posh Bushwood will net her some badly-desired popularity. The people she is trying to impress just happen to be suing her father for some apartments he is building near the country club, so they turn down his membership and he vows to get revenge...in his own goofy way.

The film has some bland humor. The only two original characters that came back in this one are Ty Webb (Chevy Chase) and the gopher. Fans of the original will find three very different things about this film, compared to the first: The movie is Caddyshack 2, yet we aren't seeing anything about the caddies as we did before. The movie isn't racy at all, except for one hot little dance number, and finally, the gopher is present but he doesn't play any kind of "major role" as he did in the first one. He makes a few cameos to do something funny, but that's it. There just isn't any toilet humor in this film that will appeal to fans of the first.

I liked it, but mostly because I'm a fan of Robert Stack. So I say- give it a chance.

The Bachelor (2002– )

Of course it's trashy, pathetic, and sad...that is why it's entertaining!

[7 June 2003]

Who really is more pathetic? The people that watch this show or the people that participate in it? Thankfully this is America, and we have the freedom do BOTH if we want to. And yes, the show is awful and the women always succeed in making themselves look like low-class high school girls by the end of the season premier. But hey, at least when you watch it, you can be thankful that you don't have to be there in the middle of it. No matter how bad your life seems, it could always be worse!

You know the story: 25 bimbettes vie for the love of one man. The bachelor, suave and well-to-do, dates the girls (in groups and sometimes one-on-one), and at the end of every episode he eliminates some of them. It's hilarious how serious these girls get within the first few episodes. When they're not gushing about the bachelor to the camera privately or talking about how much they want to become Mrs. <fill in the blank with bachelor's name>, they're trying to find ways to stab each other in the back and sling mud.

I'll admit I've watched all three seasons. Yes, I've been insulted and told I have no life before, but don't I have the right to watch what I want in evening after I've worked a hard day at work and already put the kids to bed? That's why this is America, folks.

The women on this show are hilarious sometimes, and I find myself often wondering if any of them are truly over the age of 16. They behave like little children, 99% of them talk like valley girls, and they all look the same...all beauty, no brains. As for the bachelor himself, the three men who have had the honor so far to pick their "bride" from among these ladies are also pretty generic...tall, dark, handsome, elegant, well-off (one of them we know for a fact is a millionaire), and making out as much as possible with all the ladies before the time comes, near the end of the series, that a ring must be purchased and an engagement proposed. So far the series is 3 for 3 in accepted proposals, but only 1 for 3 when it comes to relationships after the end of the series. I'm not surprised.

All in all, like pretty much all reality shows, this one is awful...so awful it's good and bringing in millions of ratings each season. The executives at ABC are laughing all the way to the bank.

One Size Fits All (1998 Video)

Porno with plot!

[7/10 · 6 June 2003]

There is something good to be said about an adult flick if you find there is much more to it than just the usual bonking. Big-budget porns with the biggest and brightest adult stars, a good script, and creativity are hard to come by, but they do exist. This is one of them.

*SOME SPOILERS AHEAD!*

Veteran porn star Candida Royale presents a tale about four girlfriends who get together for dinner one evening, and wind up chatting about the day they had. All four of them discover that they all tried on, at some point during the day, a hot little purple dress. The dress lead all four girls to fantastic sex and various locations with the same guy.

I've seen both the original hardcore and the edited Playboy versions of this film, and they are both extremely well done. The plot is cheesy, of course, but the acting is good and compliments the corny script without being overbearing. Nina Hartley and Missy are both gorgeous, and the story itself could stand alone (just barely) without the expected sex scenes.

Candida Royale has written other films like this one that have a theme and fantastic acting. I highly recommend them all, especially this one.

Maid to Order (1987)

"Some maids deserve to be Princesses..."

[28 March 2003]

"...and some princesses deserve to be maids."

That pretty much sums up the story behind 1987's 'Maid to Order'. Jessie Montgomery is a 20-something spoiled rich girl, the only child of her widowed father (Tom Skerritt). Jessie is an irresponsible brat who lands herself in jail one night for reckless driving and drug possession, and her frustrated father wishes on a star that he had never had a daughter (which, in retrospect, seems pretty harsh). Somewhere, someone of great power is listening, and his wish is granted. Jessie wakes up the next morning to find her record has been wiped clean. Unfortunately, so has her life.

Jessie is recognized by nobody; not even her own father. Her only companions now is a filthy party dress and a lady (Beverly D'Angelo) who calls herself Jessie's fairy godmother- she's actually the "witch" who granted Jessie's father's wish. Jessie is forced to take a job as a maid for a high-profile Beverly Hills music promoter and his wife (the late Dick Shawn and Valerie Perrine) and has to learn to love and respect people, as well as herself, all over again.

I love Ally Sheedy in this role. She plays the part of the wealthy b*tch very well. You cannot help but feel sorry for her poor, soft-spoken father. But the real stars are the goofy Starkys, the rich and cheesy family Jessie works for.

Spider-Man (2002)

Horrible!

[20 February 2003]

One thing I will say about this movie- it didn't make me want to go out and read Spider-Man comics. Even though I am not a fan of the original webbed hero, I will say that I know enough about him to figure out that he wasn't correctly depicted in this film, especially considering this film was geared to the younger generation.

You know the story- geek wants pretty girl, big bad boy has pretty girl, geek gets bitten by a mutated spider and becomes super-hero who saves the day and shoots webbing from his wrists. Anonymous super-hero finally gets the girl, but at the last minute geeky super-hero turns down girl because of his super-powers. What utter nonsense.

My first complaint is that there was way to much unecessary violence in the film (i.e. especially at the end when the Green Goblin's abdomen was sliced and blood was shown flowing from his mouth as he.."died"). I was also pretty shocked at the numbers of young children that were in the audience. Second, even though I liked Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst in their respective roles, I thought the film was poorly-cast and badly written. The plot was so predictable. The ending was the worst. It was obviously an opening for a sequal. About halfway through the film, I wanted to get up and walk out.

I know about the next two planned sequals to this film, but I can asure you I won't be seeing either one of them.

Showgirls (1995)

No doubt about it: The WORST film ever, but...

[20 February 2003]

...I certainly didn't hate it. I just didn't *like* it.

I first saw the NC-17 version on video when I was 17. First off, I didn't think that the film deserved such a rating, since it's really no worse than what you see on the late-night movie channels, and all those sex-fests are rated 'R'. The nudity wasn't anything to write home about, either. I think if the writers, directors, and producers of this movie weren't going for cheesy soft-core porn, they could have really made a great, shocking film about what showgirls in Vegas have to go through to make it to the top of the business.

'Saved By the Bell' cutie Elizabeth Berkley is Nomi Malone, a gorgeous stripper who wants nothing more than to do be a Vegas showgirl. The way to the top isn't easy. She has a bonk the right guys, use the best drugs, and shove the right leading showgirls down the stairs of the dressing room so Nomi can take their place. The three steamy scenes of the movie consisted of Nomi showing her breasts to a Vegas impresario, a wild sex scene in a pool (Nomi looks like a fish out of water, literally) and a brief lesbian kiss between Nomi and her main competition, Cristal Conners (Gina Gershon).

Not a bad movie, if you have nothing better to watch. I would imagine the director's rated "R" version is worse. But even though I admit I didn't hate it, I still vote it as one of the worse (if not THE worse) film ever made.

Date with an Angel (1987)

A sweet cheese-fest with wings

[19 February 2003]

Daytime soap veteran Michael E. Knight finds himself between heaven and hell, literally, in this cheesy but sweet love story about a guy and his angel.

In 'Date With an Angel', he plays Jim Sanders, a struggling musician dealing with multiple headaches, including a failing career, obnoxious friends, his spoiled and pampered fiancee (Phoebe Cates) and a domineering father-in-law to be. The night after his stag party at his apartment, he finds a fallen angel, white feathery wings and all, crash-landed in his pool. He takes on the responsibility of nursing the mute messenger from God back to health, all the while trying to avoid some massive pitfalls: His three immature guy friends want to capitalize on the angel and gain wealth and fame from her presence. Jim's fiancee Patty finds out about the angel and, thinking Jim is cheating on her, sets out to get revenge, and Patty's father wants the angel to model for his cosmetics company. Jim find himself falling for the helpless angel's etherial charm, but how can such a mismatched pair hope to work things out?

'Date With an Angel' is definitely a chick-flick and perfect if you're looking for a tear-jerker, or a fan of any of the actors. David Dukes and Emmanuelle Béart also star. *** out of *****

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Beauty aside, it was downright depressing.

[2 January 2003]

I won't deny that Edward Scissorhands is one of the most beautiful and sad films I have ever seen. I also won't deny that the soundtrack blew me away (score one more for Danny Elfman) and Tim Burton is a fabulous director, but as a big fan of comedies and a not-so-big fan of extreme dramas, I am afraid I found this movie more depressing and emotionally tiring than most other viewers might.

Avon lady Peg Boggs (Dianne Wiest) approaches a dank, dark castle in her hometown in the hopes of making a sale. Inside she finds a strange young man (Johnny Depp) with scissors for hands. He was apparently in the process of being created when his Dr. Fankestein-like inventor (played by the fabulous Vincent Price) passed away. Peg decides to bring the man, called Edward, back to her home in the hopes of giving him a normal life. Edwards popularity shoots higher than a kite in the Bogg's family neighborhood, but the real problems begin when Edward falls for Peg and Bill Bogg's elder child, teenager Kim Boggs (played by Winona Ryder with long, red hair). Kim's friends and her muscular jock boyfriend (Anthony Michael Hall, no longer the class nerd) find the innocent and helpless Edward to be pathetic, but Kim's boyfriend decides to use Edward's scissorhands to break into his own house in the hopes of stealing and selling some of his wealthy parents' possessions. Edward winds up taking all the blame for the break-in when the teenagers are caught, and Kim begins to soften to his kindness. But the Bogg's neigborhood, none of whom know the truth, and Kim's boyfriend, turn against Edward and vow to make sure he goes back to where he came from forever.

The private moments near the end of the film with Kim and Edward are truly sweet and beautiful. However, film is so emotionally draining from all the drama, I haven't been able to watch it since I was a young teenager without bawling all over the place. Although I agree that tears are usually the sign of a good movie, some people love films that make you bawl. I really have never been one of those people. But that still doesn't change the fact that it is a good movie with good acting, and I do recommend it. Just bring plenty of tissue.

Shipmates (2001–2003)

Class overboard: Shipmates

[27 December 2002]

"Shipmates", the dating show that pairs up singles on a three-day blind date on a paradise cruise ship, is actually pretty funny. I think the idea of the show is ok, but what makes the show "no class" are the idiots they pair up.

Most of the time, the singles involved on the date have a good first day with each other, but by the second day, they're practically fighting. Both singles have video diaries and they let loose something fierce on each other. It's also not unusual to see each single go their seperate ways, and find more people to party with (a few actually admit to having one-night-stands behind their date's backs). Call me crazy and old-fashioned, but this seems pretty trashy to me.

By the way, the host, Chris Hardwick, better known as the guy from the MTV dating show 'Singled Out', is a total dolt. He's thinks he's funny, but he's now. In fact, he is the WORST part of the show.

Ice Age (2002)

Very cute! Perfect for the kids.

[26 December 2002]

I rented 'Ice Age' for my neice and newphews while I was babysitting one afternoon. I saw a preview for this film in a theater, and truth be told, I wasn't too keen on seeing it. Still, I'd read some great reviews and I wanted a good movie for the kids. I am glad I took a chance on it.

Ray Romano heads an all-star cast of voices as Manfred the mammoth. The story takes place during the ice age, where primitive man and ancient animals are going head to head. Denis Leary provides the voice of Diago, a cunning saber-tooth tiger who kidnaps a human baby as revenge against the humans for destroying some of his pack. Manfred and his dorky sidekick, Sid (John Leguizamo) get ahold of the baby, and vow to return it. Diago has plans to thwart their good intentions. Along way, Manfred, Sid, and Diago learn about the goodness that lies in every heart, but they also learn some important lessons about themselves.

I love this movie for three reasons: A) The pathetic squirrel chasing after the nut, almost a totally unrelated tangent to the story, is hilarious. B) Unlike a great many animated films, there are no disgusting bad guys to beat up. The premise of the story is simple and not too complex for little kids to figure out. There is also a very positive message that you don't have to dig around to find. C) The cast of voices, which also includes Goran Visnjic, Jack Black, Cedric the Entertainer, Diedrich Bader, and Jane Krakowski, are wonderful.

I am not sure that all adults would like this movie, but my neice and nephews LOVED it. I really liked it too, and I would recommend it to any parents who want a nice, refreshing break from hard-core violence and glittery, overactive animation.

A Christmas Story (1983)

A tradition at my house!!

[25 December 2002]

I've been watching "A Christmas Story" every year for as long as I can remember. It's a true Christmas classic, one of the funniest and most memorable film of all-time.

Anyone who ever wanted a certain object for Christmas can identify with little Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsly), who wants nothing more than a Red Ryder BB-Gun. And what child has never schemed to get what they really wanted? But poor Ralphie is faced with the same response- 'You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!'. Supporting characters- Ralph's little brother Randy, two best friends, his teacher at school, and his mom and dad all add hilarious elements of comedy.

One note I would like to make- Someone else on this board noted that this movie was an example of the moral decline in America, and that the claim that this movie was better than "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34th Street" was pretty much assinine. I personally disgree, and I believe that "A Christmas Story" is an equally warm and sweet movie. Some of us have a sense of humor, that's all.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

A fantastic masterpiece!

[9/10 · 20 December 2002]

The year-long wait for the eagerly anticipated sequal to 'The Fellowship of the Ring' was so, so worth it. I waited in line for an hour tonight to see it, and I was unable to leave my seat because the movie held my interest intensely. The battle scenes were amazing. So was the acting, the scripting, and the direction. Jackson really outdid himself, but I can only think of one thing better...The Return of the King!

He's My Girl (1987)

It wasn't THAT bad....?

[8 December 2002]

'He's My Girl' is, I am sorry to say, another film which you pretty much have to force yourself to laugh at it. Yes, it's bad. No, it's not 'Titanic' or 'Lord of the Rings'. But it's a film that's so stupid, so pathetic, so poorly done, and so cheesy, it's actually rather fun to watch and make fun of. Perhaps that was the point from the very beginning.

***SPOILERS***

Bryan is an aspiring musician. His trouble-maker manager, Reggie, enters Bryan into a music contest in order to get him out to Hollywood and around the 'big-wig' music producers. Bryan wins (no surprise) but there's one catch: he cannot take Reggie with him. He has to take a girl! So clever Reggie decides to transform himself into a woman, courtesy of Bryan's mom, a beauty shop owner. Reggie becomes 'Regina', and 'she' and Bryan, posing as lovers, head off to sunny California. Complications arise, however, when the perverted head of the TV station sponsoring the contest falls for 'Regina', and Reggie falls for an employee of the station. Then Bryan falls for a waitress at the hotel where he and 'Regina' are staying. Soon Bryan is trying to hide Reggie's bust enhancements from his new love interest while 'Regina' is running around Hollywood in a BATHING SUIT...can this get any more crazy??

It's a stupid movie with lots of language and sexual content to go around. But that's ok. If you're looking for something stupid to lift your mood, I recommend it.

Garfield's Babes and Bullets (1989 TV Short)

Garfield steals the show in a unique murder/mystery.

[1 December 2002]

I remember seeing this Garfield special when I was all of nine years old, I have loved it ever since.

Garfield has been to Hollywood and rescued Odie from the dog pound...but now we get to see him a'la Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade, PI, a wise-cracking feline investigator hot on the tail of a murderer.

The show itself is in the traditional black and white, except for a few brief moments in the beginning and end. Sam Spade has been hired by a beautiful human, Tonya O'Tabby (get the name?) to find the person responsible for the death of her 23 year-old husband. Spade questions several suspects- the husband's university boss, Professor O'Felix (another cat reference) and his own girl Friday, the lovely Kitty. Garfield, sporting the usual hat and trench coat, might just be able to solve this mystery if he can keep John at bay and Tonya O'Tabby in check. Who really is responsible for this outrageous "who dunnit"?

This is a unique Garfield show that I found a little scary when I was a kid since it was darker and less comedic, but I loved it anyway. The amazing Lorenzo Music reprises his role as Garfield. Highly recommended.

The Brady Bunch in the White House (2002 TV Movie)

Lame, lame, LAME!!!

[2/10 · 29 November 2002]

Whoever came up with the idea for this TV movie should be slapped a few times.

Gary Cole and Shelley Long reprise their roles as Carol and Mike Brady in the "third" installment to the Brady Bunch spoof series.

The first two films, which were theatrically released in the 90s, were pathetic, stupid, seriously overacted, but hilarious. This time around, though, all roles accept for Mike and Carol were recast, and the child actors have little talent.

In this installment, Bobby finds a 67 million dollar winning lottery ticket. The Bradys try to find the owner of this ticket (they apparently don't live by the "finders, keepers" creed), and somehow Mike gets elected as President of the United States. Meanwhile, Greg Brady has fallen for a Whitehouse employee who is working to bring the Brady family down, and Carol becomes vice-president to the horror of Congress.

A downright horrible TV movie that shouldn't have been made.

The Anna Nicole Show (2002–2004)

It can't get much worse than this...or can it?

[31 October 2002]

I watched one episode of E!'s 'Anna Nicole' and that was enough for me. I actually cannot believe people can watch this garbage.

Once upon a time, there was a sexy Playboy centerfold (who later became Playmate of the Year) named Anna Nicole Smith who had a promising B-movie career. Then she ballooned to over 230 lbs and started modeling for Lane Bryant. She married a 96 year-old gazillionaire, went to court for his money when he died, and got herself a reality show on the E! channel. I must say I thought Anna was a smart, successful woman in her younger years, but I realized upon seeing her on E! that's she really a dumb blond, not to mention perverted and a lousy rolemodel for her 16 year-old son. I am really surprised he hasn't turned to a life of crime.

For those of you who can watch this show without heaving, I commend you: Your stomach is much stronger than mine.

elimiDATE (2001– )

Garbage

[26 October 2002]

I thought 'The Bachelor' was bad, in terms of how far ladies will go to get the "man of their dreams". It wasn't until I saw two (and ONLY two, for I wouldn't be caught dead watching another episode) episodes of 'Elimidate' did I realize that 'The Bachelor' is nothing.

This is reality TV meets softcore porn and Jerry Springer. Four "singles" (usually brainless, twiggy blonds with personalities similar to a melted crayon) go out on the town with one guy (usually a tall egomaniac), and through the day and into the night, the guy eliminates the girls one by one until he is left with the one he likes the best. During the date we see private interviews with the girls, and 99% of time they diss each other. The most creative adjectives used: slut, ho, and whore. Boy, these ladies sure do have low self-esteem and limited vocabularies.

What disgusted me most is that the 'prize' in the first episode wanted his ladies to prove they were worthy by giving him a lap dance. NOTHING was edited out, and even some body parts had to be blurred for obvious reasons. What I would love to know is how these guys can even be attracted to these women; they don't have much to offer.

This is trash TV at its worst. Avoid at all costs.

Fear Factor (I) (2001–2012)

Another example of trash TV.

[23 October 2002]

I used to watch Fear Factor when they were going for mostly dangerous stunts. Of course, the writers and producers of the show had a hit an all-time low by burying people in innocent animals (like rats and spiders) and making them eat disgusting stuff (I can handle the coagulated blood balls...sort of...but WHY do they have to eat hissing cockroaches, one of my favorite insects?? That's barbaric and cruel, no matter how small or "disgusting" the animal).

The basic idea of the show: Get a group of morons together, and dare them to do stupid stuff. Whoever is left standing at the end of the mess wins (I think) $50,000.

I have since stopped watching this show. It's not about true fear anymore, but about grossing people out.

Hammer House of Horror: Children of the Full Moon (1980) Season 1, Episode 8

Short, but twisted

[31 March 2002]

I don't think I will ever forget the first and only time I saw this mini horror movie. It was when I was 12 or 13 years old, and I was up late one night because I just couldn't sleep. I was watching the boob-tube around 1 or 2 in the morning, and I saw the start of this movie on TBS. I am not a big fan or horror movies, but for some reason I stuck around and watched it.

I remember the plot vividly. A young married couple are traveling through a remote part of England when their car stalls. They go in search of help in the woods, and find a mansion filled with children and a kindly old lady (maybe a little TOO kindly). They spend the night at the mansion, and learn that all of the parents of the children living their died mysteriously. One little girl even proceeds to tell about her own mother, who was just a beautiful as the visiting lady. Although the family living there is odd, the lost couple gives in to their agressive hospitality. During the night, a horrific event takes place and the young wife is raped by a werewolf.

The couple leaves the next day. The young wife ends up pregnant (due to the rape) and strangly drawn back to the house. She cannot stop talking about it, which drives a wedge between the woman and her husband. Eventually, near the end of the her pregnancy, the wife goes back to find the house. Her frustrated husband follows. The wife finds the house and is invited back in, and by some odd coicidence she goes into labor. Instead of calling the doctor, the kindly old woman offers to help deliver the baby. The young wife dies in childbirth, and the old woman remarks how the baby, a daughter, will make a fine addition to the family. The husband, meanwhile, gets close to the house and never gets in; a werewolf tracks him down and kills him. As it turns out, the children are wolves, too, and the parents are their prey. The new baby will be a wolf, too.

This movie is very unusual. First, the plot is pretty twisted. The movie iteself is also virtually unknown, as I cannot find any information about it on any other website besides distribution and limited cast information. I don't even remember the names of the characters, and I remember only a little about the old women (I have seen her act before) and the name Simon MacCorkindale, who is one if my favorite actors. I also remember the movie ending just as quickly as it began- it's only 60 minutes long, which is unusually short for a movie.

Overall, I liked the movie and I hope to see it again someday in the future now that I have more information about it. I have no idea why, but I never forgot it.

The Time Machine (2002)

The Victorian era meets Jurassic Park

[23 March 2002]

Even though I have never read the original HG Wells book, I saw this movie last night and I was quite disappointed. My movie partner, who has read the original novel, told me the movie took the idea from the book but went off on its own tagent. He was also unhappy with the movie.

Prof. Alexander Hartdegen (Guy Pearce) decides to travel to the future after his girlfriend Emma is killed in a mugging, and he finds he cannot go to the past to save her. She's obviously destined to die. After an accident he finds himself 800,000 years in the future. The world has changed by leaps and bounds, and his "new home" is just like something out of the cave man era. Few humaniods speak English, but he does find one: Mara (played by pop singer Samantha Mumba). Mara and her people are fighting against a race of monkey-like people that live in the subworld. After Mara is kidnapped by one, Alex decides to go and rescue her. He encounters the leader of this dangerous killer race, and he shows him the life he could have had with Emma. Alex decides against leaving Emma's people to fend for himself, and he evetually destroys the monkey race. He stays on in the future after his time machine is destroyed, a newly happy man who has put the past and the memories of his dead girlfriend behind him.

First, the movie is too extreme. It switches elements too often. Alex is trying to find the answer to his question: "What if?". Why can't he change the past? Then he ends up in the future and suddenly he has to save this primitive village from tall, blue monkeys. It just didn't make sense.

Samantha Mumba has something that Britney Spears and Mandy Moore don't seem to have: genuine acting talent. I did enjoy her performance as Mara.