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X-Men '97 (2024)
Leave them wanting more
But not that much...
While X-Men '97 is the best representation of the X-Men in media, with superb dialogues, outstanding animation and amazing acting it has one problem.
It's too rushed.
It tried to grab so much and do so many of the classic stories from the comics that it didn't really gave the characters time to breath and deal with what was happening.
We needed at least 5 more episodes during the last half of the season just to be able to see the consequences of everything that happened.
Instead we got like 9 major story arcs that in the comics that each took about 2 years to be developed and that it had major consequences afterward, being rushed here into one episode when it should've been at least a 3 parter each.
Other than that the show really shines when it's unexpected and gives you something you didn't know could be so powerful like Episode 5, just for that the show is absolutely worth it and a beautiful piece of media that should become the standard for Marvel from now on.
X-Men '97: Remember It (2024)
The biggest gut punch in any show
I'm in absolute shock. Lost for words. Cried twice already. May cry a third later...
Not only is this episode a master class in storytelling, animation and voice acting. But it's also one of the most beautiful/hardest episodes to watch in TV history...
The entire episode is astoundingly crafted, from the dialogues, the character dynamics, the psychological exploration behind the trauma of the events that these characters are going through (Why couldn't She-Hulk be like this?)... and MY GOD. The action, the animation for Christ sakes... it's the most incredible thing I've watched... and I'm absolutely happy and devastated at the same time.
Not only from what they did to my favorite X-Man but because they set the bar so high I'm not sure they can top it.
Why am I feeling like this? He was just a character... a character I grew up with, the coolest one I've seen... the character that kept me watching back in '93... and my favorite...
*Spoilers*
Guys, I'm not ok... but as far as deaths go. This was the most respectful, beautiful, badass way for a hero to go.
I'm so appreciative that the creators love Gambit as much as I do and sent him off good and proper. A goddamn hero.
X-Men '97: Motendo/Lifedeath - Part 1 (2024)
A steep decline in writing
The writing in this episode is a sharp contrast from the previous episodes. It wasn't quite there.
I really hate that kind of Saturday morning cartoon 2 parts format. X-Men didn't have nor need that, that's why it stood out. Plus, Jubilee never actually says she doesn't want to grow up and yet that's the message? By the time we get to the real episode you don't get a chance to get invested.
The animation is top notch as it has been and I enjoyed the callbacks to the X-Men arcade and Genesis game. Plus, Jubilee finally gets a chance to show off the skills she has developed since she joined the X-Men juxtaposed to Roberto's inexperience.
Storm's episode... felt waaaay too rushed for a moment it seemed they would wrap it up without any conflict.
It was disappointing to say the least.
The past episodes were great. What happened?
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)
Hell, I liked it.
It may not be perfect, but I'll tell you what it is. FUN.
It has some tired beats and structure, but hell, it is enjoyable and me and the wife had a pretty good time watching it.
The family dynamics are fun, the sci-fi is cool, even if cookie cutter for the most part.
Even when the villain is not that interesting, it's not the focus of the movie. And it's so ok.
Even with all the controversy around it you can tell that when filming it, the actors were having a great time. Momoa steals the show as always.
It has some serious Thor: Ragnarok vibes and you know what? That's just fine.
Watch it. It's not groundbreaking or earth shattering. It's just fun. And that's ok.
No Good Deed (2020)
They butchered the ending
And a damn shame too, because this movie was going really well. Well acted, nice direction, great cinematography (didn't look like a TV movie at all) and a compelling story with a sympathetic antagonist.
But why would they butchered the ending so badly? It's not even like it's open for interpretation, they intentionally just kinda stop the movie. Did they run out of money? Did the actors all quit in unison? Did all the cameras break at the exact same time?
It doesn't make any sense to cut it short, specially since they've kept you intrigued about what will happen next for the last hour and a half.
Best way I can describe this is, this movie is good sex without the climax. Bummer.
The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)
MUST you make everything so sexual Netflix?
I remember when a few years ago I first hit play on another Netflix franchise "inspired" by another classic tale, named Dracula. After 1 episode I turned off the TV, gave a bad review everywhere I could and cancelled my Netflix subscription. It was THAT BAD.
It was unnecessarily sexual, stupidly written and more than slightly offensive.
The fall of the house of Usher is no different with the exception that I made it to episode 2 and rage quit after that.
I'm surprised because I'm a huge Mike Flanagan fan and I thought Midnight Mass was a beautifully written masterpiece with some of the most poignant and clever dialogues in TV History. Not to mention Hill House and Bly Manor. The guy's a master of horror, no two ways about it.
When you combine him and Edgar Allan Poe, how can you go wrong, right?
Well, if unnecessary sex, shallow, amoral, stupid characters and a lack of ambience are not enough you can see the HUGELY wasted potential and at this point is just sad.
The show is full of stupid characters doing stupid choices and getting into stupid situations that only two or three Netflix execs can relate to. Also, the disrespect to Poe's work is just mind boggling.
The worst part? People ate it up. It has an 8.1 rating as of October 2023.... We are ready for the red death if this is what passes for good these days.
Skip this one if you have half a brain. Hard.
BioShock Infinite (2013)
10-Year retrospective review
"If we could perceive time as it truly was. What reason would grammar professors have to get out of bed?" -The Lutece "twins"
I never would have expected a game to have such a long-lasting impact as BioShock Infinite did. For the last 10 years I've found myself wanting to experience it again every couple of years and each and every time I pop it in and finish it, I find its brilliant writing more and more intriguing.
What Kevin Levine and 2K games did here is why people started to wonder if video games were art.
But what makes BioShock infinite great? Is it the flawed but relatable characters? Is it its interesting setting-derived society, economics, and politics? Is it the awesome action and incredibly interesting aesthetic? Is it the fact that its almost 10-year-old graphics still hold up quite nicely (even more in the remaster?) Yes, it's all that and it's a shame this school of thought on making video games seem all but extinct.
In the last few years, it seems like the industry has gone from making the best game possible, to making the most money with as little effort as possible. With so many one-note games like the infinite "asymmetrical online multiplayer" games milking beloved 80's franchises (Evil Dead, Friday the 13th, Ghostbusters Spirits unleashed, etc.) that started with the awfully repetitive Fortnite and PUBG, it's no wonder the Videogame industry has declined in quality becoming nothing more than Casinos for the young.
Here's hoping games like this will make a comeback. Since Bioshock Infinite is one of the last remnants of truly smart, fun, original, story-driven videogames.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Where's the beef?
I'm going to give a completely honest review that is NOT hateful.
The thing that's bothering most people about She-Hulk is not only that they made the character into a toxic feminism vehicle (no man is good, no man is smart, no man is empathetic) or the fact that Hulk is... well... whatever the hell Hulk is in this show.
The saddest and most enraging thing is the missed opportunity to explore a judicial system's evolution in a world where these extraordinary people exist.
And from the perspective of a woman who has powers and sometimes has to play both sides because everybody needs representation. Even super-villains. Like (for example) if a black woman had to represent a white supremacist.
This could've been a show about what civil rights actually mean, about how justice sometimes is a matter of perspective and that sometimes prejudice dictates sentences, and it should be using the whole analogy of super-powered individuals vs. Non-superpowered as a representation for actual world events.
They could've drawn inspiration from so many court dramas, like a Time to Kill, To kill a mocking bird or even My Cousin Vinny.
Imagine an episode like "12 angry men" but they're deciding the fate of a hero that caused damage trying to do good (like Wanda in Age of Ultron) How do you judge someone like that as one of your own? How does the people -that at some point in their lives have been affected by superhero collateral damage- rise above their own prejudice in order to give a fair judgement?
Speaking of Wanda, Wouldn't the people of the town that Wanda enslaved be entitled to representation and reparations from the scarlet witch? Who would foot that bill? The Avengers? How do you prosecute someone that powerful? Should you even try to? What approach would a super-powered and super-smart lawyer that (in the comic) has created her fair-share of collateral damage take? There's so much fabric they could've cut from and so much fun to be had as a writer in this world.
Mix that up with (good) 4th wall-breaking comedy (like the comic) and it could've been the best show in TV history.
Instead... we got She-Hulk twerking and Disney saying we're misogynistic because we do not like the show. It reminds me of the whole Elizabeth Banks' Charlie's Angels fiasco...
It is said that a literary work is only as smart as its writer. If this was written by a bunch of Disney people what does it tell you?
I'm sad for She-Hulk. She could've been one of the greats. Instead... we got... whatever the hell this is.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)
Outstanding animation
Although a lack of direction makes it a mess at times.
Hear me out. The movie is good, but it's far from the masterpiece they're making it out to be.
The Good:
The color choices in all scenes are pitch-perfect. The designs, the poses, the backgrounds. MY GOD. THIS. This is what an animated movie is supposed to do. Push the boundaries of what's known and just have fun with it. If the first movie's goal was for you to pause any given frame and for that frame to look like a comic book panel (which they accomplished) Then this movie goes one step beyond and if you pause it, each frame looks like a comic book COVER. If you read comics then you know not even comics accomplish this. Absolutely outstanding. Its message about communication between parents and kids is moving and very important in today's world.
The Bad:
It's a transition movie. More like an incidental piece than an actual symphony. It cannot stand on its own. And while that's not exactly a bad thing, it hardly makes it a masterpiece. It's not like Raimi's Spiderman 2 in which you don't need to know a lot from the previous movie to get it and you're not forced to see the next one to get a resolution. It could've easily shaved off about half an hour and not drag out the Second act so much that you don't actually get a Third act, instead, you just end up with a headache and a cliffhanger.... which brings me to...
The Ugly:
While the first movie struck a good balance between regular animation and a color attack that leaves you dizzy in its 3rd act, this one ignores that line and just eye-blasts you with so many colors and animation that most of the time you don't know what the hell's going on. The wife and I left the theater dizzy and uncomfortable to the point that we just wanted to stare at blank space for a while. And we are not photosensitive. At all.
In conclusion. Yes, it's a good animated movie. No, it's not a masterpiece. The first one is a masterpiece. This one is just the movie between the first one and the next one.
Side note: Was I the only one that thought it was incredibly irresponsible for Peter B. Parker to have the baby in that rocket train to the sun? How much speed can a baby endure?
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Missed opportunity
The 3 stars rating is one for Bill Murray, one for Adam Driver and one for Sturgill Simpson's song.
The rest of this movie is completely forgettable. Like a pancake that doesn't taste right, all the elements are there to make it awesome and yet, it came out flavorless, colorless and very, very boring.
The only redeemable thing is that last scene were you have Murray and Driver absolutely kicking ass as a little town's last line of defense against the horde of the undead.
The rest is awkward and not in a quirky way. Too bad too, because I thought "Only Lovers Left Alive" was a wonderful adventure that deserves applause.
This one? Just has two massive talents semi-wasted.
Green Lantern: Beware My Power (2022)
The animation is better than previous films
Too bad the compliments end there.
The whole movie feels like all the characters are on Xanax. It doesn't flow, it doesn't have rhythm and the music has this constant "Whooonk" sound that gets very droning by the time you hit the halfway point of the movie.
The character development is almost non existent, and the characters are boring af, although it does have amazing action sequences and it's full of color it all falls flat because the characters do this 1-2 second pause between dialogue lines that makes you think the director/editor has never heard an actual human conversation before.
With this animation and these characters this movie had some serious potential, unfortunately it achieved a very hearty "meh"
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
With this movie is clear DC is in good hands
Not only is Guardians of the Galaxy an incredible film with great storytelling, stunning visuals, heartfelt characters and interesting villains. But it is (so far) James Gunn's true Magnum Opus.
The movie will keep you laughing, crying, amazed, cheering and crying again through three hours that go by a little too fast.
The bouncing off many of these characters that you've been with for almost 10 years now feels more like family than a superhero team. You are somehow reminded that you've gone through hell and back with this characters through the years...enough to develop love and empathy for them, and yet it's barely mentioned. That's masterful storytelling.
Any other words cannot do it Justice. It's an emotional story about space characters in a quest to save the friend that brought them back from oblivion from dying a horrible death.
Oh, and the villain!!! *Chief's kiss* on making the High-Evolutionary an incredibly despicable, irredimible bastard that you hope gets his ass kicked, yet you understand where his coming from. Kang who? THIS is how you write a villain! And you didn't even need to DO HOMEWORK watching other shows to know him.
The conclusion of The High-Evolutionary's arc is satisfying as hell.
In the sea of She-Hulks, Ant-Man 3s, and all other horrible, horrible boring as hell movies and shows that have been made in phase 4 (or 5? Who is keeping track anymore?) Guardians of the Galaxy 3 is the best one yet.
Who would've thought that the worst comic book in the world would be the best multimillion dollar movie this century?
The Good Place: Whenever You're Ready (2020)
A tearjerker/happy ending to a bizarre adventure
The Good Place didn't shy away from all the feelings the end of a journey is supposed to make you feel. And boy, what a journey it was...
From sweet and tearful goodbyes to unintentional wisdom gained to the most beautiful speech ever delivered about the ephemerality of life in the analogy of a wave expertly and incredibly delivered by William Jackson Harper. It will stay with you long after you turn off the TV to catch your breath and just process what you have seen.
I've come a little late to the party since I didn't watch the show when it first aired, but I am so glad I did. It helped me sort through personal loss and feelings of fear toward death. I don't know if it will do the same for you, but I hope you get as much out of it as I and so many other people did.
Excellent finale.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
A hero is only as interesting as his villain
And Kang is and incredibly interesting villain, but not here.
We never know his motivations, we never know his backstory or his goals. Hell, we don't even see Kang the CONQUEROR conquering anything.
We don't see his back story, sure they tell us, but film is supposed to be a visual medium. Remember how you felt about Thanos in Infinity War? That's how you should've felt with Kang and we didn't.
The high stakes are never clear, there's a lot of spectacle and millions of dollars in CGI and it all falls flat.
This movie has a lot to show us but shows us nothing. There's a revolution here. Ok, but we're not gonna show you that. There's a lot of potentially interesting characters, ok, but we're not gonna show you that.
We have the Ant-Man family kicking ass! But we're gonna show you just a little of that.
Who wrote this stuff? I'm betting there's a lot of nepotism going on at Marvel Studios. "Just put my nephew here, give him a chance, he's 20 now and he had a Spider-Man pajama when he was 10. Surely that makes him qualified."
EDIT: I just found out that it was one of the writers from Rick & Morty. Wasn't that show supposed to be good? Geez...
Marvel used to at least have something interesting in their movies, something to say. If even buried a bit beneath the surface. This one? This one doesn't even have Michael Pena.
No soul, no writing, just millions of dollars in VFX that don't even look that good.
Ant-Man 3 is the Avatar (James Cameron) of the Marvel movies and the worst of all 3. All money, no substance.
It's even worse than Ironman 3.