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klown013
Reviews
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
Do you like bad CGI? Like, a LOT of bad CGI
Watched this in IMAX in a nearly empty theater (bad sign) and there are some good things about this film. The performances are interesting, the vehicles ares cool as always and the costumes are great. That's where the good ends and the bad begins. There is an absolute onslaught of CGI and blue / green screen backgrounds in this movie that made it impossible to enjoy. The majority of the "chase" scenes are people standing on stationary vehicles with a very obvious generated background making it look like they are moving. Almost all of the stunts that were performed by live actors in the first movie are clearly badly generated CGI in this. Form the awkward way they fall / move / jump around, it is absolutely awful how cheap and fake this entire movie looks. I'm talking late stage MCU lever CGI throughout. And there could easily be an hour cut from this. The movie dragssssssssssss in several places. I LOVED Fury Road. I was amazed how good a movie using ACTUAL people and cars for stunts looked. This movie just goes the same lazy route most big budget movies do now. Who cares how it looks, just get it on the screen.
One Piece (2023)
Never read the Manga or watched the animated...
Having no background on this IP at all I am actually enjoying the show. I am not a fan of the majority of Japanese animated shows due to the overacting and extreme emoting normally present. Just not something I can get into.
I will say, there is a LOT of sillyness in this show, a LOT of the main character stating his name and that he will be King of the Pirates - I mean like 12 - 13 times an episode it feels like. Episode 1 was a little hard to get through due to the look of a lot of characters as well - but I had to remind myself this is based on an animated series and the creators are really trying to keep things consistent with the original designs.
Ultimately, I decided to embrace the silly. Monkey is, for me, basically Leslie Knope or Ted Lasso, other overly nice, positive, can't get them down personas. If you are like me and new to the world of One Piece I would say either embrace it, or give up watching.
The last issue I can think of is, this is a Netflix show so there is a 99.99999 percent chance it will be cancelled within 2 days of it's premier. If not, it certainly will be season 3 as Netflix has proven, time and again, they do not care about making customer's happy, just about avoiding paying creatives involved any real money that is normally due when a show hits season 4. Considering how many episodes there are of the Anime, I don't understand why Netflix would even attempt this.
Shrinking (2023)
Meh. Actors doing the same roles they always do. Again.
Not as impressed with this show as many other people seem to be. A few issues I had: The show did a poor job of explaining the relationships between characters. A few episodes in an I'm asking who is related to who, how do these people even know each other? Is everyone at the practice also best friends? But then they don't know where any of the other people live? But then 1 of the doctors randomly shows up at house of the another's doctors dead's wife's best friends house because that IS an address she is familiar with? Also took a bit of time to realize that was a the dead wife's friend, not the wife (perhaps he was depressed because they were divorced). Jason Segal plays the same character he has played in every other show / movie, Harrison Ford is a grumpy old man as he has been in everything for the last 20 years, Christa Miller is playing the exact same persona as she did back in Scrubs, etc. Nothing new, nothing different, just some poor structure and bad storytelling. And they managed to keep any kid on he show a total self involved POS. So, basically everyone on this show is a total jerk in their own way.
Dawn Breaks Behind the Eyes (2021)
Art, maybe, but not entertainment
If you've read the review that preceded mine you probably noticed all of the positive ones made a point of not spoiling anything or being too specific on what they like outside of the way the movie looked. It's mostly compared to 60's Euro Horror and called amazing. I mostly assume those reviews are from people involved with the film trying to steer the viewers perception in the direction they want prior to seeing the film. It is, visually, very well done. But everything else? This is an incoherent mess with no real plot, story or pacing that allow you to follow what is happening. There is a major shift about half way through that makes no sense at all and certainly does not help anything you've seen up until this point. The synopsis about time shifting around is very misleading as this is never really shown, nor is a change of setting, nor is anything else even vaguely supernatural. Unless you are looking for non-linear, no story art I would avoid this one.
Wolf Pack (2023)
Why bother making this?
Things the people who made this show do not seem to under stand:
Budget limits - why attempt to do this show on the budget you had?
Good CGI - the CGI is terrible, EVERYTHING looks fake.
How fire works - if a house in the middle a block burned down in a major fire, the houses and trees around it would also.
Any and all Werewolf lore.
Acting. Just acting in general.
Normal teenagers. Good job checking every box for "typical" MTV teens as opposed a normal actual human teen.
How hospitals work.
How privacy works. Cops walk into the hospital and ask if anyone came in from the fire on the highway, (which there were like a hundred people) and they immediately give them the one specific kids full name. Because patient privacy is not a real thing, and of course every nurse remembers every patient they have ever seen in their entire careers with instant recall.
This show is a perfect storm of terrible acting, lazy writing, non-stop cliches and inclusion of characters checking boxes for different life styles or struggles. It all feels so incredibly forces, like the writers had a board with all the groups they felt the needed to include, but instead of making them interesting or actual people, they just shoved them in to say the show is modern and inclusive. My final piece of advise would be: Don't waste your time. There is no way this show is going to be renewed. I can't see most people finishing the first episode, much less watching a second or a third.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
2 long, 2 boring, bad CGI and bad "action"
1. Movie should have been at least 45 minutes shorter
2. Acting was terrible with a few exceptions- Winston Duke and Angela Bassett both did great. Letitia Wright, Dominique Thorne and the rest were all over the place. Too emotional or barely any acting.
3. Iron Heart was incredibly lame as a character and as a part of the story. Apprently Tony Stark was not a genius considering every charactor in the MCU is able to create the same things he did. Half the characters in this movie have their won armor, super labs and / or figured out Vibraniun, AI and super soldier level serums.
4. As everyone else mentioned, the inclusion of the Ross and Valentina characters was a huge mistake and dragged an already long and boring film even more.
5. Namor was terrible. Actor was ok, this version of the character had no personality, no charm, no charisma and none of the a-hole traits that make up Namor all together. Awful, awful version of this character. Also, said to be as strong as the Hulk, but has to dodge bullets, can't fly through enemy fighter crafts? Has to consistently grab the thing and try to throw it? Gets beaten by a Black Panther that has like 5 minutes of fighting experience? CHUMP!
6. The CGI is, once again, terrible. Aquatic animals look awful, characters jumping on and off them look like a video game glitch, Planes (jets? Whatever the aircraft fighters are called) lack dimension and basically looked like a pre-render version someone forgot to complete.
7. Wakanda is land locked. Except, it isn't and this is never explained.
8. Wakanda is supposed to be the most advanced nation on Earth but they get destroyed by a bunch of fish people using stone age weapons and no technology.
9. This movie brings lazy, non-consistent writing and story telling to a whole new lever for MCU. One of the worst movies of the year.
Smile (2022)
Great movie, Clever telegraphing
This review will contain something of a major spoiler that I haven't see anyone point out yet. The movie is creepy, great scares, cool idea and some awesome imagery.
Again - this can definitely affect how you watch the movie so decide if you want to read this before or after you see the movie -
One thing I noticed right away that no one else in the theater seemed to see, even when I pointed it out to the people I was with - the red and green pixelation / distortion of the people who are part of the demon or what it's making the victim see. Starting with the first victim in the hospital you'll briefly (like for a quarter of a second) see her mouth distort into red and green pixels or blocks, almost the way a 3-D screen looks when you don't have glasses on. From that point, whenever something is about to happen or if the person on screen is the demon not really the person you'll get that super quick glitch effect. Very cool added way to make the movie creepy!! Loved it!
The Rookie: Feds (2022)
There's bad, really bad, garbage, then this
The Rookie is by no means realistic or what I would call a great show, but it started off seemingly serious anf attempted to spotlight real issues and took a somewhat gritty approach. This has dwindled more and more in the last few season with non-stop romances, incredibly unbelievable characters (his firefighter-ex-model-green-beret-blackbelt girlfriend) but it is still somehow less silly than this fever dream of insanity. A middle age woman well past the enrollment age for the FBI is allowed in because - she was a good high school guidance counselor and she failed the driving portion of the entrance exam but threated the instructor so they passed her. Because that's how it works folks. There is garbage writing on TV, then there is this dumpster fire of bad ideas thrown together and somehow put out there for people to watch.
Fall (2022)
Actually tense and intersting - until it ruins it all
Major spoilers - I'm going to skip over the terrible acting and the fact that the 2 main characters are unbearable a-holes that you kind of hope just plummet to their deaths based on their personalities alone - I was shocked when the they tower climb started that the movie was actually doing a stellar job of creating dread and anxiety. It looked good, felt tense - I was actually impressed for a while. Then they decided to throw it all away with an inane plot twist that robbed the movie of all good will. "ah, she as dead the whole (well, the last 20 minutes anyway) time!" WHY!!!!!???? You set up the tense scary moment someone may fall, and when they do, you make it a fake - fake out? This was such a let down to what seemed like a solid build up to a nerve ripping moment. One of the biggest failures I have even seen in a movie.
The Requin (2022)
Hope to hear about this on How Did This Get Made
Why would you film a movie about being lost at sea when you can't afford to CGI a raft onto water? Graphics looked straight out of a video game from 1995. The acting was either "took too much cold medicine" slow or "way too much meth" crazy. Shark footage actually looked like they were using a hand puppet for the nom-nom scenes. If I found out this movie was made for lifetime I would be a little less disappointed but still consider it subpar. It is genuinely one of the worst movies I have ever seen and half a bottle of bourbon did not help.
Ms. Marvel (2022)
Goofy and poorly writtern gibberish
Now people get super powers by literally finding cosmic level weapons in a junk box? (not a spoiler, it is shown in the commercials for months) I mean, there's bad writing and there's just giving up on even trying. This is bottom of the barrel bad. The show is headache inducing, over the top, silly even by the standards of a 13 year old and borderline insulting in quality. The only positives are the main actress is fun in the role and her interactions with here family are an interesting blend of selfish (like an actual teenager) and honest. This is too little to offset the rest of what is put on screen. I feel like anyone over the age of 10 would be embarrassed to watch this in front of other people. Sadly this seems to be the trend with all Disney+ shows.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
A silly goofy boarderline cartoon
This should be considered an animated film based on the amount of terrible cartoon like CGI utilized. From "floppy" animation used in place of human stunt people for MANY of the fight scenes (sorry, but martial arts are a lot less impressive when there are no actual people involved) to the terrible Avatar looking backgrounds and even cars / buses. For the amount of money put into a film like this I would hope the effects would be better than an episode of Game of Thrones, but instead they looked like the Matrix part 2. All of the actors involved were fantastic - when it was actually them, not a CGI stand in, but the story was all over the place, the villain(?) made no sense, I honestly have no idea what the hell was going on in the last half hour compared to the first hour. This movie was a mess all around, and compared to other MCU films feels like a total cluster-F. Definitely the worst movie I've seen this year, possibly in the last 10 years.
Brand New Cherry Flavor (2021)
Anything Nick Antosca is involved with is worth a watch...
Because based on his track record, it's probably going to be real good. Or at least, real weird. Or both. This show is definitely both. This is exactly the type of show streaming services should be looking to do. Limited series with totally off the wall stuff, great horror, great actors that maybe don;t want to do multiple seasons. Ideas that are perfect for 8 - 10 episodes but do no need a second season and don't need to be an anthology either. This show was crazy, entertaining, original, very well acted (holy crap Kathleen Keener can do anything!) and just all around different. It had vibes of other things but didn't feel like it was trying to mimic them. Highly recommended!!
They Live Inside Us (2020)
It's not Horror - it's horrible.
I have nothing positive to say about this movie. Lack of story, plot and forced "ending". The acting was high school play level bad. EVERY scene had the main actor over acting, eye rolling, head shaking - it was just so amateur we could not stop laughing. I can not recommend staying away from this strongly enough.
Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
No make words goods movie make brain dumb
This movie gave me brain damage. I have lost a lot brain cells and the ability to enjoy things. I am numb from the stupidity. There's "dumb but enjoyable" then there's this, which I would have to classify as "viscous and offensive to my very soul levels of stupid".
Gemini Man (2019)
2 Will Smiths too many
Will Smith has finally jumped so far up his own smug ass that he will only act against / with himself. This movie turns out about as well as the previous sentence suggests. Terrible emotionless effects and horrible "action". Just further proof that everything scipt Will Smith "Will Smith's up" turns to complete garbage. See Hancock for further proof. Dear Smith Family: PLEASE STOP RUINING MOVIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beoning (2018)
Terrible in every way
Some of the worst "acting" and pacing I have ever seen. The main actor (and I use the term actor very loosely) spends the whole movie staring off into space with his mouth hanging open. I genuinely do not know if he is supposed to be portraying a mentally challenged person or it just comes off that way. The lead actress spends all her time in the movie falling asleep in restaurants. I don't know if this is a common thing in Korea, but it happened 3 times in the first hour. I wanted to like something - anything - about this movie but it was an astounding waste of time and poorly made in every way.
All I can think about the positive reviews on here is that people who enjoyed this movie are the same type of people that look at a totally blank canvass and spend hours talking about how amazing "the art" is because they don't understand or like it, they just want to be hip.
I watched this on a streaming service and still feel like I was ripped off.
Jack Ryan (2018)
Boring and poorly paced
Not having seen or read much of the previous Jack Ryan stories, I'm basing my opinions solely on how this series plays out in the first set of episodes. Boring. Slow and boring. Stupid choices, way too much time spent on side characters of no real importance and some "24" like plots (not the good ones!) equal out to a show that could have been so much better.
The main character, if you can really call him that, is dull and nonsensical to a fault. This is a man who joins the CIA but believes there is a right and just way to solve everything and that they are above working with "bad" people to accomplish their goals, even if they have no other options and lives are at stake. He will literally do everything he can to disrupt a mission because he does not like 1 person, risking millions.
I'm a fan of John Krasinski and normally find things to like in Carlton Cuse's shows, but there is so much filler with an unkillable henchman, the same character *just barely* getting away as a cliff hanger for 3 episodes in a row, annoying whiny kids...I just can't think of anything to compliment right now outside of technical aspects. I was looking forward to this show and watched the whole thing in hopes it would improve. I can honestly say I doubt I will watch season 2.
Alex, Inc. (2018)
Everyone on this show is an awful person.
I don't think it's an intentional move, but somehow the writers of this show managed to make every character a horrible, annoying selfish person. The kids who treat their parents like garbage and need everything "RIGHT NOW!!!!!". the wife that nags and nags and nags and nags and nags and nags......
The selfish as hell husband that quits his job to follow a stupid as hell dream running a podcast (because that pays the bills) and not only that - it's a podcast about his horrible family. This show is so far up it's own ass I can honestly say I HATE IT AND EVERYONE INVOLVED IN IT'S CREATION.
Do yourself a favor and throw on some Scrubs reruns instead. Or just punch yourself in the genitals for 22 minutes. Also more entertaining then this.
Krypton (2018)
Boring. Bad Acting. Boring.
Honestly, just go stare at a wall for 44 minutes and you will get more entertainment value. The only "interesting" (and by interesting, I mean offensive) thing to happen, is the third episode has to do with the police shooting an unarmed suspect, it being racially motivated then covering it up. Yes - this happens on a friggin show called Krypton. Because this is why I watch a Superman based show.
This is like watching Homicide: Life on the Street to see people fly and fight in space - IT DOES NOT BELONG ON THAT SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Skip this boring, "woke" POS.
Ready Player One (2018)
A jumbled mess of scatter shot images, bad ideas and horrible directing
Keeping this review simple:
1. Almost all of the scenes in the Oasis look AWFUL. Either cartoony or incoherent. There may be a million "cameos" but I could barely pick out more then 3. Every thing is dark, colorless and blurry. Action scenes are impossible to follow.
2. The acting is terrible and wooden all around. Forced jokes (literally no one in my theater laughed once) with bad delivery.
3. It's like it was written and directed by someone who talked to someone who sorta read the book like 10 years ago. Maybe 10% of the book is in there. If you have a favorite part of the book, it ain't in this movie. None of the details that made the story cool or make sense at all appear in this film.
4. The story and dialogue seem like they written by a 12 year old. Boy meets girl, 10 seconds later boy loves girl. Girl pushes him away, 10 seconds later girl loves boy. Boy says lines like : "Fanboys know haters!"
This movie was a genuine P.O.S. from writing, to acting, to directing to effects. I hate to say, but it did not have a single redeeming quality. And FYI - the Iron Giant is in like 3 minutes of the movie (2 minutes of which already appear in the commercials).
Annihilation (2018)
a 30 minute story stretched to 2 hours
There are some beautiful visuals and some decent acting scattered throughout this film but, like the story, they are few and far between. If you are expecting scares, creatures or action (with the exception of 30 seconds of the film) you are wrong to do so. This is a story of 5 woman walking in a mutated place discovering who they are and what is wrong with them on the inside. They are all deeply flawed and depressed.
The acting was mostly poor but seemingly by design - as if everyone was supposed to be drugged and speaking extra slow while staring off into space. The overall "story" and moments from the movie where something actually happens could be condensed down into 30 minutes or so.
It's easy to confuse boring for artistic, but in this case I stand by my opinion the film is just too long and drawn out with nothing happening and no real reason to exist. If you choose to see it, I hope you enjoy it!