Change Your Image
mcglsr2-1
Reviews
Office Invasion (2022)
Had its good moments (the 1st half), wasn't sure what it wanted to be
Okay, spoilers ahead.
I had higher hopes from watching the trailer, but it wasn't all bad.
This movie can best be described like this:
1. Wants to be Office Space
2. Writer(s) know that Office Space already exists, so has to do something "different," otherwise it's just a copy
3. Thus, the Sci-Fi sub-plot.
4. Ultimately resulting in a plot that doesn't really make sense (and that's giving it a fair shake being sci-fi and all)
The movie starts off great. Like 7/10 or event 8/10 great. Very strong Office Space vibes, very relatable. This was the absolute best part of this movie. It lasts for about the 1st half of the movie.
Then it takes a turn for the worst. I guess the writers didn't really know what else to do with the Office Space plot. So they came up with this whole alien invasion thing (though, frankly, 3 aliens isn't much of an invasion). It was pretty bad. And it kind of spoiled the greatness of the 1st half. It was like watching 2 different movies. All the 1st half, setting up the company, wasn't really necessary. All that needed to happen was for these guys to lose their jobs.
Additionaly, the alien second half wrecked any semblance of sense from the first half. Since the aliens needed a reason to be here, a unique compound, Zulcanoid is that MacGuffin. Apparently it's quite valuable, seeing how this company is the only one in the world mining it. But wait a second. We learn in the 1st half that the company is struggling, and having to cut back. Granted, this was done to push our heros to their breaking point. BUT. I'm to believe that this company, mining the ONLY source of the material in the world...can't turn a profit? It's mentioned that they can't keep up with demand. Well, any economist worth their salt the world over will tell you how to easily fix that: raise prices.
It just doesn't make sense. That company would have been a gold (Zulcanoid?) mine. No need to embezzle, or cut corners to sell, it would have been tons of money regardless.
This is where the confusion in "what kind of movie do I want to be" really shines. We get essentially two different movies, which change over somewhere near the midpoint (I didn't track it exactly). If the writers had picked one, and committed, it would have been more enjoyable. Not great. But that's okay, it doesn't need to be great, just enjoyable. And it almost was.
The budget wasn't big enough for the alien subplot portion, and the real-world cutting of corners was just as prevalent as the in-movie AMI cutting of corners. Shame.
What they should have done:
A. Ditch the whole alien sub-plot, keep it rooted in Office Space, resolve the conflicts. It would have been a great homage to Office Space, much more enjoyable. I was rooting for the guys, and wanted the office villains to get theirs. I genuinely enjoyed the 1st half, I found it quite funny. I prefer this option of the two.
B. Tone down or ditch the whole Office Space beginning, and start with where this movie ended, the 3 dudes finding the space ship. The movie should have started there. It could have been a Buddy Love/Dude With a Problem/Monster in the House campy comedy romp. It would have been more enjoyable than what we got, but overall probably just a little more okay; it would have required an even larger budget and would have been easier to get it wrong. Option A all the way.
The actors all did a great job. The thing holding this back has everything to do with the writing and plot, and even the great acting wasn't enough to save it from 2nd half mediocrity.
Nimona (2023)
Bundle of Bad Messages Executed Really Well
Let's get this out of the way first: the animation, extremely well done. I mean excellent. Very well done. The voice acting - also excellent. Very, very well done. This movie, from a technical standpoint, was executed with very high quality. Which I suspect has a lot to do with the high ratings. Because those qualities masked some very large flaws.
Specifically, no kids should ever watch this. I don't think adults should bother either. Let me explain.
The theme of this movie is Nimona, and NOT asking what Nimona is. The protagonist, Ballister, is taught to just accept Nimona at face-value. Bal even has several scenes where he attempts to ask Nimona what she is. Nimon gets pissed and calls him small-minded, eventually guilt-tripping Bal into not asking anything, because he thinks it would be "small-minded." I know what you are thinking. You are going say that this is a message of love, and acceptance, and what is wrong with me. But it's not. It's actually a message about being stupid, silent, and incurious.
Who, What, Where, When, Why. These are five seemingly simple questions that I would argue are the basis of intelligence. Without these questions, we do not learn anything. We do not discover the world around us, we do not build amazing things, we do not advance. Without these questions, we stagnate, and we decline. And Nimona wants you to stop asking the "What" question. Bal isn't supposed to ask What Nimona is, he must just accept her. In one scene, Nimona even says "I am not a people." - so Nimona is allowed to say what she is or isn't, but don't you dare deign to ask. Shame on you.
And this is what we want to teach children? Hey kids, you aren't allowed to ask tough questions because someone's feelings might get hurt. Kids, don't be curious. Or do - but if presented with a person who claims something (like we seem to have a lot of these days), don't ask what they are, don't ask questions. You aren't allowed. Instead, just accept everyone at face value. Because people never lie or have agendas or ulterior motives or are trying to manipulate you. Just accept. Don't question. Turn your brain off. No need to think.
Let's a take a good look at Nimona. She's some kind of creature thing, that can shapeshift into literally anything, including other people convincingly, and is as old as the kingdom that Bal lives in (and possibly older). So,at least 1000 years. To recap: a sentient creature that is near omnipotent and ancient. And Bal is not allowed to ask What she is because a human was mean to her 1000 years ago? Really?! Nimona is practically an alien god thing. Where did you come from? What are you? How old are you? What have you seen? Are there more of you? I have a million questions! Sorry, sorry, no questions at this time. Move along. Just accept.
Furthermore, Nimona hates the establishment - I mean "institution" which I think they call it, because it was founded by the little girl that was scared of Nimona. Again, to recap: medieval-equivalent humans were scared of a shape shifting something that could also look human - and this is an unacceptable response? If that were you, modern day you knowing all the modern things you know, you would be terrified too - because a shape shifting human thing is not a normal thing. That's not saying there is anything wrong with Nimona. But like it or not, Nimona is NOT a normal thing and people will react accordingly - rightfully so. But the story has to vilify the people, because we can't just have people acting with common sense and Nimona being pissed about that. So the story has young Gloreth pick up a sword for some stupid reason and point it at Nimona. I mean, up to now, Nimona hasn't hurt Gloreth at all, and Gloreth was even accepting of Nimona - they were like best buds. So instead of asking questions which is what we should do (like What are you), the story has an adult tell Gloreth that Nimona is a monster, which makes Gloreth point a wooden sword at Nimona. How does Nimona react? Does she try to talk with her friend? Does she try to make peace with her friend? Does she try to explain? Does she take to hang out with them, do good things with and for them? Nope. She tosses her friendship aside, throws a tantrum and proceeds to carry a chip on her shoulder for the next 1000 years.
Come on, really? This is just stupid now. So anyway, over those 1000 years, the "institution" is created based on the notion of Fighting Monsters. Because they are out there! Even though we see...no monsters. There are no monsters roaming the streets. There are no dead monster carcasses hanging from gates. No huge monster skulls over the entrance to the pub. No monsters. That supposedly, for over 1000 years now, this kingdom has been battling, or I guess preparing to do battle? Is that right? "Hey everyone, monsters will be here any day now, I know it's been like 1000 years since the last alleged attack, but any day. Keep your lances ready." How stupid is everyone here? And this kingdom has a huge wall around it, and I guess we are meant to think that outside is Bad, lots of Monsters - and not one single person over the course of 1000 years has climbed that wall? Not one person has looked at that wall, and said you know, I wonder what's really on the other side? Oh, look, it is pristine forest, unravaged by monsters. Give me a break. It's not even a wall that's far away! No one has to travel years to get to it. It's Right There! And yet, no one has climbed it. Not once. Hmm.
See what I mean? Sheer stupidity. This story wants to tell you that you are just supposed to accept people, even if they are different from you. And you are not allowed to ask them what they are. That's the message. And it uses Nimona as the vehicle for that message. Nimona was wronged by the founder of this society - that the founder was wrong, and thus this society is wrong (now where have I seen this message before...?). Nimona wants to tear it to the ground. So what does this omnipotent god thing do? Does she infiltrate the leadership? Take control, bring it down? Does she become one of the most wealthy and influential members and pull the strings of demise from the shadows? Does she assassinate key members of leadership? Keep in mind, omnipotent sentient god thing here, that can change into ANYTHING. Nope. None of this. Instead, she turns into an angsty teen with a buzz cut, presumably being angry at the world (now where have I seen this before?), drawing pictures of death and dismemberment, waiting for her time to strike! (For 1000 years.) And all she needs is...a villain like her!
What? So wait. You are telling me this kingdom (which features diverse people - we see it immediately in the opening characters), all getting along, living their best life...and Nimona had to wait 1000 years for a villain? Are you telling me there is no crime in this kingdom? There were no bad or evil people that Nimona could have allied with over all those years? Dude! This place is a utopia! Diverse people, everyone happy, getting along, their needs are met, there's no crime, what a terrible place! And we are supposed to want to tear this down because a single god creature thing got her feelings hurt 1000 years ago and wasn't mature enough to actually sit down with the people that hurt her feelings and have a conversation with them?!? Or at any point along those1000 years? That's the reason this utopia must fall?
Yes kids. This is how you are supposed to resolve problems. Keep it to yourself, don't ask questions, let the sadness brew and simmer until you decide that the only choice you have is to break things (which Nimona says repeatedly, to the point of convincing good guy Bal that this is the way), equivalent to a child throwing a tantrum. And failing that, kill yourself, which Nimona also tries. The world is not fair and rather than learning how to deal with that, instead just break everything you can because how dare it not be fair to you. And if you can't break enough stuff, kill yourself. Okay kids, message over, go play in the street now!
Lastly, I am beyond sick of the hate for white people. Beyond it. It's racist and beneath us. We are reverting as a society. The "white people are bad" messaging has got to stop. The only two prominent white people in this movie are both the idiot bro knight who is antagonistic to Bal and a strong proponent of the "institution" that we are meant to be wanting to tear down, and the villain. Of course. The only safe race to make a villain anymore is the white person. It's always the white person. Next time you watch a movie or show, odds are better than 90% that the bad guys are white. There's even a scene here when it shows the billboard of the young up-and-coming promising people-of-color knights...being whitewashed. Literally washed over with white paint. And the "institution" is doing this. I think you can connect the dots.
This is a stupid movie (though animated and voice-acted extremely well), with stupid messaging. It pretends to be a heartfelt and warm presentation of how we should behave (and there were a couple good scenes of this), when in fact it encourages us to hold grudges, keep silent, don't ask questions, don't talk your problems out, and when you can bottle it up no longer, the proper course of action is to do everything you can to break stuff and tear it down.
Come on people. We are better than this. I know what the movie is trying to say. But it's wrong. This isn't how we deal with our problems. We shouldn't be teaching our kids that this is how we deal with problems. And if we are resorting to "breaking things" as a way of fixing stuff, we are no better than spoiled children who get angry when we don't get their way. We are becoming a tantrum.
8 stars for the animation and voice acting.
1 star for the content.
Your time is better spent elsewhere.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
Yah, it's really that bad.
Full disclaimer, I didn't even finish the movie. So for what that's worth. I just couldn't get through it. I started to push myself, I hate leaving things unfinished. But then, I thought, why? What's the point? It's not going to get better. Will I feel good for having finished it? No, I decided. And that was that.
It's too bad really. I love a sci-fi/space movie, so I tend to be quite lenient with them. Having said that, this one: terrible.
The acting was okay. Not great. Some terrible spots. Bruce wasn't good. At all. Most others were just okay. Shoot, even the story might have been okay. But the screenplay was just bad. Bad dialogue. Bad scenes. I had a bad feeling when the movie opened up with like 5 F-bombs (just to be clear, I personally have absolutely no issue with bad language). Nothing screams "I'm trying to be an edgy film, you better take me seriously!" like opening up with 5 F-bombs. Ugh. And Bruce. I don't know if he needed some beer money, or this was a personal favor to a friend or something, but I would have figured a quick pass through the script and he would have been like "Nope." But not the case. I attribute his wooden, "I don't care" acting to the fact that he must have agreed without reading the script, saw what he got himself into, figured it was too late to back out, so phoned in his lines.
And then right at the beginning when the alien-human things land in the ship (I'm not listing this as a spoiler since it's literally like 20 min into the movie) at the base, and there is literally no containment or ANYTHING between the 5 people that showed up for First Contact (seriously - this is supposed to be a BIG DEAL, First Contact, and there are like 5 people there for it?) so of course when the alien-humans start killing people there is no containment, no quarantine. Just everyone right there, all ready to be infected or something. It's just simply stupid. It's lazy writing, it's clear that the plot requires it for Edgy F-bomb Action and Awesome Gun Shootings. It's terrible. Completely unbelievable.
So I gave up. It's not worth the time to finish. But hey, it's nice to know people are driving what appear to be gas powered Jeeps 500 years in the future. Seriously, it's set 500 years in the future (FIVE. HUNDRED. YEARS.!) and the cars they drive on roads look exactly like what you see today. I weep for the future.
Give this one a miss. Trust me. Unless you are studying bad films or something.
Monsters of Man (2020)
Robots before plot
Obviously someone said "Hey man, check out these CGI robots we can make." His bud was like "Wow, those look fantastic, they look so real!" Back to the first guy: "I know, right? We gotta use them. Let's think of a plot."
That's how it went. Instead of what it should have been: "I have this great idea for a story, what kind of robots can you make me? ...oh, yah, those look great, they will do."
There's a HUGE disconnect between the robots and the plot. For example, the robots have multiple cameras on their face (though, none on the SIDE, which would have come in handy plenty of times - you'd think if you had the option to have a 360 deg field of view you'd want that; I mean, my car can see 360 deg around itself...), and 1 camera on the back of it's head. It's visible in every shot where we see the command module thing. And yet, when the rogue robot is fighting one of the "controlled" robots, what does it do? It sneaks up behind it. Which means the people writing the script didn't really know what they had on their hands. Also, the robots hunt by...SOUND? Really? And not even like super sensitive sound. Heavy breathing, panting? No worries, won't hear you, even if the robot is 5 feet away. No, not thermal imaging. Not searching for patterns like footprints or anything. Sound. Loud sound apparently. Like the robot was just here, right outside my hiding place, it gives up and goes off screen and not 3 seconds later I am scrambling nosily from my hiding and in full view...where did the robot go? It didn't get THAT far away, I see how slow they walk! Speaking of, they walk super slow! They don't use cover, make noise as they move. I mean, in real life, these things would get absolutely destroyed by live soldiers.
It's the little things like those above and these: multiple people tripped while running away, resulting in an injured leg/foot that let the baddie catch up (seriously, we are still doing that trope?). The drama scenes were the worst for me, really overacted, and I could just imagine the director whipping the actors, "I need tears here, Frank! I need the audience to really FEEL this and have tears!" Oh, or how about this one: the company that made these robots sends their LEAD people (you know, their brain trust), who acknowledge on screen how bad a full, uncapped AI could be. So what do they do? Oh, they use a physical based hardware cap that apparently is put in with oil and butter for how often these things pop out of the robots. Of course, the plot requires this for the 4th robot to go rogue and have an existential episode.
This film tried too hard, and tried to do too much. Man fighting robots, and surviving (or not) - would have been good. Robots together, one becomes aware, tries to figure out what life means contrasted again his unaware siblings - would have been good. Man fights robots while 1 robot becomes self aware, saves man by accident sort of, but then tries to kill man but then man pulls out all the feels to get the robot to kill itself for man. Not good. The script and writing seem, to me, amateurish, like the writer(s) are in the process of getting their feet wet but haven't quite polished their craft.
Summary: If you have a thing for good CGI robots, or want to study this film for examples of tropes to avoid and improve upon, go for it. It is an acceptable watch. If neither of those things interest you, your viewing time is better spent elsewhere.
The Midnight Sky (2020)
A couple hits, but mostly misses
Believe me when I say I get why all the reviews talk about no point. And the reviews that are the polar opposite, stating those other reviewers missed the point...I get that too. To an extent.
For me, I saw the point, and I didn't like it. I get what the movie is trying to say. And I don't personally agree with the way the message was delivered.
The highs: the visuals are nice, particularly in space. The space ship is an interesting take, and mostly believable. And the twist at the end is a nice touch, though the movie had to jump through some serious suspension of disbelief hoops to pull it off.
To those saying the movie is about life choices, to appreciate what we have, the importance of life, all that stuff, I think you are fabricating a point where you want to see one. This movie is absolutely not about life. The opposite in fact. The human species is dead. Like that's it. Way of the dinos. Those two people at the end aren't repopulating anything. They are going to have a child, and that child will have 2 other people to talk to until their 40's, if they are lucky. And then....utterly alone. Literally the last human in the universe. Sure, Iris and Ade could have more kids, so there would be brothers and sisters. Okay, they won't be lonely until they all die. But they will all die. If they start inbreeding, it's the last of the species anyway.
When you get down to it, this movie is really about a dad that was too busy to be bothered to meet his daughter when he had the chance. And that's it. So, to make up for his guilt, he hangs around to say hello to her over a radio. Everything that happens in this movie is there as a plot device to push forward that one twist at the end: the absentee parent that regrets missed opportunities. And THIS is why people say there's no point - because everything is there solely to support the twist at the end. And the twist really isn't that mind-blowing. So if you aren't blown away by the twist at the end, you certainly will not care about the requisite scenes that serve as the set-up for the twist. The flash backs, the slog through the snow, all the "boring" stuff is there to try to make the twist punch harder. And. That's. It.
And that's where it ends. It took the ending of the human race to bring this about. A mysterious disease conveniently wipes everyone out, and in record time! Nothing anyone can do, not even survive underground. An exoplanet (which isn't even an exoplanet as it was found in our solar system, and well out of the Goldilocks zone to boot - take that, Science!) that conveniently supports life - for what purpose? Like what's the point in the story? Who cares about the planet? They might as well have been out looking at one of the moons of Jupiter, why plot this "new" planet that supports life? The human species proper can't get there. It won't be repopulated by us, not with just two people anyway. And the ship conveniently has enough supplies for a trip out there, a trip back to Earth, and another trip back again? Of course, it helps that 60% of the crew is killed, so I guess that's where the extra supplies come from. And the 2 guys at the end that literally kill themselves by going down to the planet? Really? To what end? Where are they going to land? They'll just crash somewhere, and die. Or even if they don't crash - like that guy will have any idea where his and kids are. So they aren't even making it to their families to die with them. You are telling me that it's okay for highly trained astronauts to just go kill themselves? And the Captain, Ade, was okay with it? They are valuable resources! What, the ship only needed 2 people to crew it in the first place? And as comfortable as it is to think about, with those guys along at least you increase the gene pool. It increases the chance of repopulation. But nope. The Captain is like "sure thing, guys, have a safe trip down to dying for no reason." Ugh. See? So much pretense. So many hoops to jump through, 2 hours just for the film to say "Hey, be good to people, share your love while you can, because one day you might not be able to."
I really think this story would have worked much, much better as a short, or a novella. Certainly not a 2 hour long movie. It's not a bad premise - just not as large as they perhaps thought it was. Instead of making me feel like I go need to hug someone I love (which I think was meant to be the intention), it made me depressed. I agree with the message of the movie, I just feel there are so many better ways it could have been delivered. Once the emotion of the twist at the end fades, you will be left hollow.
The Good Cop (2018)
It's okay, but the writing is just too lazy
Four episodes in and....meh. I will say, the actors/actresses do a great job. Spot on performances. So it's got that.
What it doesn't have is good writing. You solve the mystery yourself in like the first 10 minutes. Seriously. If you have *any* familiarity with cop shows or procedurals, or even just crime stories/whodunits, or maybe heard friends talking about plots from any of the 1000's of shows that have come before this one, this particular show will literally bore you. It's like a producer said "Okay writers, bring me a big 'ol list of every trope, cliche and been-there-done-that-cop-plot you can think of. We'll put all of those ideas on a massive wheel, spin it, and hey! That will be the plot for show number X."
So the writers pick a "been done literally thousands of times already" story so I guess you get to feel good figuring it out before the show's hardily beyond establishing the corpse and key players, which of course makes watching the rest of the show sort of pointless because you already know they will get to the "solution." And while the writers are executing on their tired plot, they don't even pay attention to the details. Or maybe the director doesn't. For example, the episode where the guy breaks out of prison so he can be framed for a murder; the real killer has his face battered on the left side. Danza cotton's on to him, pointing out that a bruise there would come from a right handed punch but SURPRISE! The "really-good-at-heart-convict" is a lefty! Because that's never been done before! Okay, so not really a surprise. Aha, but a key plot point as this directs suspicion on to the real killer. The only problem is that the actor playing that convict character spends the entire episode doing everything with his right hand. Which is odd, you know, because he's supposed to be a lefty. So writers, director, continuity people, not sure who wasn't paying attention. Someone wasn't. I feel like the stories are written by college students trying to cut their teeth in the industry who are unwilling to take any risks with new original plots for fear of getting a bad grade. And because everyone else on set is also bored with the tired stories, they don't really give it the focus they need to in order to catch issues.
This show is like the minors for baseball. It won't make any of the actors famous, just give them experience towards that next role which may be the big one. And Danza won't carry it alone. He's supposed to be a bad cop. And he's not really. Other than some things thrown in here and there for comedic value, there is no real tension between him and his "son." He's really just more of an annoyance.
This show is getting boring super fast. I'm really hoping they find their groove as the episodes progress because I love the idea of a cop show/whodunit with some levity. I think it just needs more intelligence inserted into the stories. There are already cop story/whodunits out there that hit their stride 1 to 2 episodes in - which begs the question: why watch this?
The Beyond (2017)
At a glance, not bad. Upon further inspection...not so much.
Like many have said, it starts out strong. I didn't expect the documentary style of filming so was pleasantly surprised. However, when things started to go down and it turned into "we need to keep all of this a secret," the documentary idea no longer held up. In Real Life the filming would have stopped. Or, if we are meant to think we are watching a documentary after the fact, then we should expect it to have been heavily edited to remove all the illegal, immoral and unethical bits out - which they weren't. Or, if they were and what we were left with was the "safe" bits, then yikes.
And once the viewer has trouble holding on to the believe-ability of the documentary, the rest sort of crumbles. Which is a shame.
Unlike some others, I had no issue with acting. Some say it was wooden and so on, which makes sense - after all, it's supposed to be "real people" from this agency documenting what happened, not seasoned actors. They should be wooden, awkward and unused to being in front of a camera. In that regard, I think the actors and actresses, whether intentional or not, pulled that off. I personally had little trouble accepting them at face value.
The real struggle for me came from all the fake science. "Oh noes, we can't send feeble-bodied humans through the gravity of a wormhole!" "Not to worry" says the Military. "We have robots that can use human brains." Eff the wormhole. This development alone brings up so many unanswered questions and requires a movie of it's own. Why have one huge Big-Science-World-Changing-Event (wormhole and black orbs) when you can have twoooooo! (I, Robot meets Pinocchio). It's just too much to ask of the viewer when the film takes itself so seriously. And how was the military out of the loop before the orbs arrived? There's all kinds of satellites and probes and telescopes and stuff, many nations would have discovered it when the Space Agency did - why were they allowed to run with it without involving, oh I don't know, how about all of the other major countries on our planet?
Oh, and Earth 2? That close to Earth 1? Eff you Moon, and your tidal effects and your orbit! We have a new planet that has essentially the same mass as Earth literally a stone's throw away! Eff you gravity! And you too, seasons! And weather! And rotation! And orbit around the sun! Because it all changes now, with Earth 2 that close in orbit!!!! Ugh.
Anyway, the visuals were amazing and may be worth a watch just for those alone. The only thing that really made this feel like the low budget production it must have been is the shots with the "military." You know, those where the dudes are getting out of a Jeep Compass and what looks like a Ford Sprinter van. With their weapons and stuff. Because the military uses those vehicles for their military-ness. Obviously, it was just some dudes with costumes that couldn't get their hands on any real military vehicles. However, saying that this is really the only visual give-away to the low budget nature considering wormholes and black orbs of (non-) death is actually saying quite a bit.
Oh, and I couldn't help but feel the whole thing ripped off Contact, what with the noise radio transmission noise thing (I was waiting for an eccentric bald-headed gazillionaire to enter stage right at any moment) and even the spinning bands on the initial probe into the wormhole that served no explained purpose other than to look cool. Contact says your welcome.
Bottom line: don't expect to experience anything new or groundbreaking.
The Burning Question: did Earth 2 get a Moon as well? Moon 2? Does it orbit like Moon 1? More importantly, does it also have a face?