jkerchief Reviews

Last Shift (I) (2014)

Could've been great

[6/10 · 6 May 2024]

The movie starts with a very slow burn and picks the pace up in the last 35 min. It was pretty good at building tension, with the music helping out a lot. The production of the audio, lighting, cinematography, and practical effects were pretty spot on. The lead actress was great, even tho her lips were kinda distracting (I jest). I feel they kinda stole a lot of horror movie ending tropes and saw it coming a mile away, but for some fresh faces it may work. I do recommend watching this one, especially late at night by yourself. Her solitude and your solitude will be a great match.

I'd love to actually set a few years earlier.

M3GAN (2022)

Gen Z horror, folks

[3/10 · 25 April 2024]

I finally got around to watching the unrated version of this ultra-hyped movie that fell so very flat. James Wan was once a power house in the horror movie world and he's just getting lamer every year. This movie wanted to be Chucky and Orphan but for tweens. I don't know how adults actually like this movie. This could have easily been a short film but they padded out as much fluff as they possibly could. At least the Child's Play movies became self-aware.

I'll give M3gan props on her design, she looked amazing, but the fact that they keep referring to her as a toy is ridiculous. And then something so sophisticated will sell for 10 grand is even more ridiculous. They literally invented a military grade sentient being. The whole premise is just awful. Good job, Jason Blum. Your studio keeps making money on some of the worst horror movies in existence.

Sleepaway Slasher (2020)

Please god no!

[2/10 · 23 February 2024]

This may have been one of the worst things I've seen in all my years watching horror movies. The story was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Stay far away from this trash. You can definitely tell it was final project film rubbish and all of the people that worked on this movie should feel ashamed for making it. The worst part is, is how meta they wanted to make it. Also, go a little less heavy on raising your blacks and shadows up and trying to give it a beginner's photography portfolio for bad wedding pics. Contrast is your friend, editor. Maybe the gaffer was off getting wasted and they had no real lighting to use. Whatever, stay away from this.

Camp Hideout (2023)

I am dumber after watching this

[1/10 · 14 February 2024]

Clearly an Evangelical mega church's idea at getting people excited for Bible camp. This is one long promo video and they suckered a brilliant actor to being in it.

The music is so awful and tries for force that zany movie cliche that died out ages ago with Disney made for television movies.

The movie has the lighting and cinematography of a YouTube short comedy sketch. Something tells me they did 3 takes max. Everyone in the production crew should be embarrassed at making this. They got a nice gimble and decided it should be used nearly throughout the movie.

The writing, you can tell, was written by people that have seen every cliche ever and decided to wad it in to this pile of junk.

The only thing this movie has going for it is its retro looking poster hoping to capitalize on other good movies.

If you think you're getting a Meatballs, Heavyweights, Camp Nowhere, or even Salute Your Shorts, you're getting nothing close to those.

Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023)

Workaholics: The Woodland Adventure

[6/10 · 19 November 2023]

A pretty good late-night-comedy worth the watch.

With that being said, it was literally Workaholics. Ders, Blake, and Adam are literally ripped off to full effect. You can tell these guys watched Workaholics as kids and it's fine. They did a nice job paying homage to their heroes, but they could've made it a little more subtle.

Other than that, it's seriously a fun little romper and my gf and I got a good kick out of it. I love some fun late-night-comedies and this movie gets it right where others fail miserably. I'm not going to rank it up there with Grandmas Boy or Hot Rod but it's worth the watch if you want to watch a fun adventure movie that will give you some laughs.

Conan is also pretty amazing to see, and if you watch it for him alone it is great. He's not just a cameo but plays a nice part in it.

Watch it with a friend or two and have some fun with it.

Wrestlers (2023– )

Not a wrestling fan since the 80s

[7/10 · 5 November 2023]

Honestly, I haven't cared about wrestling since I was like ten, but I respect the art and hard work that goes in to it. I decided to watch this on a whim. I live in one of the golden cities that made the WWE/WWF and 2 hours from Louisville and I know just how huge it is where I am. This documentary felt like a really good and long commercial for their cause and I'm fine with that. You can truly see the passion and care that goes in to these people. The documentary is honestly well done. If you're looking for something to watch, perhaps and 80s wrestling fan like myself, this is a nice dive in to a modern day origin story of what wrestling was like. Give it a watch.

Dante's Hotel (2023)

Honestly it's not bad

[6/10 · 21 October 2023]

A pretty stupid story but it has a decent foundation. You can easily see they had an idea then actually had to write a script around it. It reminded me a lot of the straight-to-rentals of the late 90's but that's not a bad thing. The deaths in the movie seem just written in to have a death but for the most part they're pretty cool. The antagonist has a pretty good look and then he talks and the dialogue is comical. The acting, cinematography, effects, sound design, and lighting are pretty good and it doesn't have that poor low budget look like a lot of movies shot on a low budget. I watch a lot of horror and most of it is pretty terrible so I actually do recommend this if you're looking for something different and kinda fun to watch.

Slotherhouse (2023)

Bad movie and dubbing

[2/10 · 20 October 2023]

I don't get why some movies just can't get ADR right. It's just as bad as a 70s Italian horror movie when it comes to horrible ADR. The actresses are over acting and it doesn't help. I love a nice dumb schlocky horror comedy, but it seems like this writer/director's first attempt. That or they grew up on SyFy channel crap and think it's how it's supposed to be done instead of taking notes from great comedy horror movies. I don't even mind the terrible sloth puppet, I can live with that, but the awful dialogue is the real horror here. I can't recommend this to anyone who wants to enjoy a fun flic.

Goosebumps (2023– )

Honestly pretty good

[7/10 · 13 October 2023]

A little darker, edgier, and more graphic version than the Goosebumps we grew up with. I was skeptical at first but after a couple episodes it grew on me. I'm sure a lot of reviewers watched one episode and decided to hate it too quickly. The acting is good, the special effects are fine, and the stories have a charm to them. It's in no way perfect, and I wouldn't let kids under 12 watch it, but it's still innocent enough with some adult themes going on. I was surprised to see an amazing adult cast and take it pretty seriously. One thing I miss is having any real score as they just seem to use songs from the 90s to convey any feeling.

Zombie Town (2023)

A 10-12 demographic.

[3/10 · 8 October 2023]

Even in my adult age, I still enjoy family Halloween flics. There are plenty of cheesy fun low budget family Halloween films out there that can have a certain charm to them. This really doesn't have too much of anything. I can handle 2nd rate teen acting but this gives off bad Disney channel vibes. The score is generic and overall makes the movie feel like a bad Nickelodeon movie. I was hoping some of the older cast was going to make it tolerable but they're written terribly and you can tell it was just a paycheck for them. It's a once watch and forget about it after. It's overall boring lacking any real substance. Your kids may dig it, but I'm even sure they'll be bored.

Tiny Toons Looniversity (2023– )

Let a joke sit for more than .0001 seconds

[2/10 · 12 September 2023]

Another review from a guy in his early 40s here. I totally get how younger kids would dig this as the YouTube age has totally wrecked the attention span of kids. I'm sure the test audience for this show was 6-11 year olds and who had to go 30 min without their iPad and and it kept failing until they sped everything up to the point where there was zero time between dialogue. I really want to judge this show on its own merits but I have to compare apples and oranges here and say this: The original was witty and had trust in their writing staff that kids are smart enough to get the jokes. This show almost gives me anxiety cause it's just go go go. As much as I miss cell animation I still think the show looks great. The new voice actors are good, especially with just how fast they gotta spew out their lines. I was really excited for this show, because I think the new Animaniacs was pretty solid.

Candy Corn (2019)

Not bad

[4/10 · 22 August 2023]

You have some great actors here acting alongside some poorly cast actors. The cinematography is fine, but sometimes the color grading is a little rough. Sound and dialogue are good, no in-and-out dialogue cuts. The scenery and locations used really fit well for the movie. This isn't going on my must-watch every Halloween list, but I have watched it a couple times now. As far as low budget movies go, I've seen more 0/10 than 4/10s so this movie gets a little praise.

You have some great actors here acting alongside some poorly cast actors. The cinematography is fine, but sometimes the color grading is a little rough. Sound and dialogue are good, no in-and-out dialogue cuts. The scenery and locations used really fit well for the movie. This isn't going on my must-watch every Halloween list, but I have watched it a couple times now. As far as low budget movies go, I've seen more 0/10 than 4/10s so this movie gets a little praise.

10/31 (2017)

Well, it's a movie I guess

[3/10 · 22 August 2023]

For every decent actor here they are paired up with someone stiff and bland. The script in these segments could maybe have had some critical notes by their peers. The mask they use are straight outta horror cons. They're not Spirit Halloween bad but I feel like if you've been to a con you've seen these on display at booths. Since every segment was done by different people the color grading is kinda everywhere. This is something I find common with these mixed director anthologies. With all this being said, I've seen far worse anthologies. Overall the sound design is decent and the dialogue sound isn't all over the place. If you're looking for something fun to watch on Halloween, stick to Trick R Treat, as this really gives off 0 Halloween vibes even tho every story is on 10/31.