gsdpjmcdgw Reviews

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

Well, it wasn't awful, but.....

[5/10 · 13 May 2024]

Well, it wasn't awful, but it did feel like a 90 minute film stretched to well over two hours.

The CGI is tremendous, and is photo realistic, but the plot is stretched out and makes the film feel like it's two stories concatenated. Almost buy one, get one free - whether you like it or not.

I suppose the "acting" is decent and the script definitely existed. Indeed, there were even a few tense moments. However, not only is it necessary to suspend disbelief (after all this is a fantasy film) but, at some points, it needed to be tied up, tortured and then sedated.

Having said all of that, it was mildly entertaining, but what did hack me off was the fact that from very early on a sequel was telegraphed, which led to a sense of irritation throughout.

As with a lot of franchises, the original was so much more intelligent and thought provoking.

Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

A strangely refreshing and engaging film.

[6/10 · 9 May 2024]

Well, even though Kristen Stewart only has three facial expressions - wet Sunday afternoon, miserable, and toilet smile - this is surprisingly good movie - there, I've committed that comment to writing.

The film is definitely noir, with Ed Harris and Katy O'Brian adding some additional depth and character range. Ed Harris is particularly good as a psychopath with a must-see hair style. The plot, whilst a little slow to get going, and with only a smidgen of cliches, works well and actually had me engaged. The writing and Direction are decent, without feeling too heavy or overwrought.

There is a slight weirdness, and I did think, for a moment the film might loose its way with a Bruce Banner scene but, actually, it worked and showed some humor beneath the darkness.

A strangely refreshing and engaging film.

The Fall Guy (2024)

Awful beyond words (except the ones below).

[1/10 · 2 May 2024]

I appreciate that both studios and stars want to maximize income and profit, and that sometimes a star vehicle film is cynically made, but this film is, by far, the most cynical and irritating piece of tat I've seen in years. Unfortunately it's not in the "so bad, it's good" class of films, it's in the "so bad, it's the most irritating film that your likely to see in a long time, so really don't bother" category. Indeed, even if you are a masochist, you'd be upset at the level of mediocrity, self knowing in-jokes and, quite frankly, self indulgent piece of twaddle, that is this film.

I have nothing against Reynolds's or Blunt, and have enjoyed films that they have been in, but this risible piece of junk should be put out of our misery and quietly disposed of, after its run, and all those involved allowed a chance to remove it from their CVs.

Having said that, I'm sure there will be people out there who enjoy this. If there are, we should pray for them.

Abigail (2024)

A lot of fun - worth seeing.

[7/10 · 25 April 2024]

This is fun - almost in the style of Hammer. It's gory, but not scary. A clichéd plot and characters, but directed and acted with enthusiasm, and a good nod to classic vampire films. All the references were there, we were just missing Vincent Price and Christopher Lee and an over-coloured palette.

There was a tongue in cheek patina right across the film. I'm not sure why it was rated 18 in the UK - unless to protect people with an aversion to tomato sauce. The gore was done with explosive fun - a real splat fest.

This was surprisingly entertaining, done with gusto. Absolutely worth 90 minutes.

Seize Them! (2024)

Why?

[2/10 · 19 April 2024]

Why?

This would have been a fun film for youg (ish) kids, so why add swearing - there really was no need and it's not the sort of film that would appeal to an older audience - although, because of the swearing, it's rated 15. Having said that I laughed twice.

I can confirm that there was a plot, there was acting and, possibly, some direction. It felt like a prolonged TV sketch - put in the rack and tortured, until it was mistakenly let go.

I am mystified why this was released into cinemas - maybe to test its commercial viability, but as I was the only person in the cinema the answer to that is clear.

Civil War (2024)

A monumental "meh"

[3/10 · 16 April 2024]

Well, it might just be me, and that I'm not that close to the American political landscape, only being aware of its acute dichotomy, but I found this film peculiarly boring and un-involving. The real civil we war was between my inclination to leave before the end and toughing it out - I did the latter.

The plot was predictable, with very few surprises - the script may well have taken nearly a full hour to write. The acting reached adequate, although the actors had to deal with clichéd charters. The only thing missing from the (again clichéd) central group of photo/journalists, was a cute dog.

This wasn't bad enough to be terrible which, in some ways, is a pity, as that would have been better.

A monumental "meh".

The First Omen (2024)

Would have been more entertaining with comedy music

[2/10 · 11 April 2024]

Always a risk to prequel an existing classic, and this was also released soon after Immaculate (could equally have been called Immaculate 2 - Losing of the Plot).

If this film had comedy music in the background, it would have been far more entertaining. Whilst some heavyweight actors (C. Dance, B. Nighy) are in this, don't be fooled, it barely reaches B film. Full of Antichrist tropes (and tripes) I was alternatively bored and having to stifle laughter. Far more terrifying was how much popcorn the two ladies along the row from me managed to eat during the film.

Just don't. There are worse films, but they really shouldn't have bothered.

Monkey Man (2024)

Excellent revenge thriller with a cultural twist

[8/10 · 5 April 2024]

Really worth going to see. What's refreshing about this film are the different cultural references and underlying social commentary. Don't get me wrong, this is a violent revenge thriller with all the gore and comic book violence one would expect, but it is different and very entertaining.

As for the Direction - as far as I'm aware this is Dev Patel's debut (apologies if that's wrong) - it works. My only criticism is that sometimes things are too frenetic and get in the way. I think we're at the start of the career of a major Director here.

The plot is effective, but is a little predictable- again Patel's writing debut - and a good one for that.