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Come Together (2008)
Vanessa Gomez is a ...
... MAN! That's right, folks. Don't pass GO, and definitely, don't STOP here, unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing. So ... I'm not, and I started to watch this movie, not paying attention to who the actors were. I just popped some popcorn, sat down, and clicked the play button on my remote.
OOPS! I knew the moment I saw him that I had been duped by being lazy and not reading the plot and seeing who the actors were. If I had done that and seen "Vanessa Gomez" as one of the actors, I would have steered way clear of this whatever it is. I watched as much as I could stand, which was about 25 minutes, and then I had to turn it off to avoid any further brain damage! If transvestites are your thing, then by all means, this flick is for you! If not? Then stay far away from this and anything else Gomez might be in. Fair warning!
Frayed (2007)
Far BETTER Than High Tension!
The naysayers are also saying to go watch "High Tension" instead. I say , "That's absurd!" While the other one is very good, "Frayed" far exceeds it! The opening scene alone is better than the whole of the other movie. And the ending hook was right up there with the "Sixth Sense" hook!
This is one of my favorite, if not my VERY favorite, indie horror film ever made! These people knew what they wanted, and they went for it. The no-name actors could actually act, and they did it with competence and sagacity. The screenplay was professionally done by someone with know-how. The directing was spot-on. The production was next level for an indie film. And that hook, man, I can't say enough about that. I can usually see the end coming in a movie, but didn't see this one at all; not even seconds before. Exceptional flick!
I had nothing to do with the production of this film. So don't go thinking that is what this is. This is an honest-to-goodness review!
10/10.
The Guest (2014)
A Little Disbelief Suspending, and ...
... then you've got a heck of a movie! Dan Stevens, ever since Downton Abbey, has been a favorite of mine. Legion was exceptional, and it was canceled when it shouldn't have been. There was a lot more story to be told. Anyway, The Guest works because Dan is a beast. He never needs to chew the scenery to run the show. This movie works because of his chops. Period.
There are a few messy items that you have to contend with to sustain the dismissal of the element of the story. But it's not as over-the-top as another reviewer here made it out to be. I do not want to go into any spoilers here, but just know that this movie, in comparison to all the terrible "thrillers" out there, (especially those nonsensical, constantly-rehashed Lifetime movies), passes the muster, and it does deliver. No academy awards here, but still, a good watch!
Amityville: Evil Never Dies (2017)
Clowns? Where? Amityville House? Where? Clownhouse? Where?
I wrote this review originally, but I no longer use that account, so I will have to rewrite it:
I don't recall seeing any scary clowns in this movie. I think there was one clown right at the beginning that didn't have anything to do with the story, what little there was of it. And that was about it. There was not a clownhouse full of clowns, and it certainly wasn't an Amityville house full of clowns. For that matter, it wasn't even an Amityville house. What in the world is going on here?
Okay ... let's suss this out. The title of the movie is "Amityville Clownhouse." I've got that much. So, to wit ...
1. In a Clownhouse, you would expect a house that is full of clowns. Furthermore, being a movie that is labeled a "Horror" movie, you would expect a house full of murderous clowns with terrifying makeup, similar to the clown on the poster. Right? Well ... wrong. That is not in this movie. There is no clownhouse, and there are no terrifying clowns. Basically, there are NO clowns to speak of.
2. In an Amityville movie, you would expect an Amityville-looking house, buuuuut ... NO! You would be wrong there, as well. There is no Amityville house at all. And the house that IS there does not have clowns in it, so not only is it NOT a clownhouse, as previously mentioned, but it is not even an Amityville house, so the title is a big, old misdirection, as are the reviews that give this laughable attempt at a movie anything more than a 1/10.
In conclusion, I honestly don't know what this is supposed to be, but it isn't what the title says it is in the least. What I would have named it is ... "Boring, Tedious, Terribly Directed & Acted Waste of Time." That would have been entirely accurate. Too bad, also, because something really cool could have been made from the title, "Amityville Clownhouse," alone. What a shame. What a darn, shame of a missed opportunity. :(
The Attic (2017)
Poor Acting, Poor Script, Poor Directing, But They Sure Tried Hard!
I went into this one not expecting a whole lot. The lead actress, Pla Komaratat, while being very easy on the eyes, had never acted in anything before and nothing since (thank goodness), according to IMDB. The lead actor, Lawrence De Stefano is relatively unknown, as is the rest of the cast. And just about the entire cast's acting chops, except for Gun Osathanugrah, who played the teenage son, and did a pretty darn good job of it, I might add, and Lawrence, whose acting was marginally sellable, was nothing to shake a stick at. Heck, the little girl, Nutchanun Mahingsa, was a more convincing actress than almost all of them.
The movie itself wasn't scary in the least, but it kept my attention throughout. Annoyingly, there were a lot of jumping around scenes from the past to the present to the past to the present, (especially toward the end), which could have been handled much differently to give the movie far better cohesiveness, and you especially want continuity during the third act! So the directing lacked seriously in that area. And there was this strange phone call at the beginning where some friend of Lawrence's character was asking about needing a place to stay when he came out to Bangkok for a period of time, and Lawrence offered him a home that a family member of his had owned and now belonged to him. The guy agreed, and then we never saw or heard from that guy again. If it was just to introduce the fact that he owned a house in Bangkok, that could have been presented in a much more distinct and superior manner. Doing it that way was just pure amateur script writing at its worst, and for the director to go through with it was pure amateur directing at its worst to boot!
The story was somewhat believable, but I don't know much about Thai tradition and beliefs concerning abortion, and this is not a spoiler, because there are red words on a black background discussing this on the screen in the first minute of the movie. So be that as it may, I cannot speak to it. As far as the twist, I saw it coming about a half hour before the end of the movie, and, man, I hate when that happens! Again, that's just poor direction. So, in the end, "The Attic" tried real hard with what little it had, and so did the actors. The director, Kaprice Kea, simply did not know what he was doing most of the time. Some of the shots were commendable, but most did not add to a sense of foreboding or suspense or horror, for that matter. And lastly, and this was very weird, the actual "attic" in the movie didn't look like it belonged to the house they were in at all. It was an extremely strange Spanish adobe looking structure, only accessible from a rooftop, and didn't resemble the ultra-modern makeup of the rest of the house in the least. I give "The Attic" (2017) 3/10.
I'm an Electric Lampshade (2023)
Heart Attack For Sure! (Slight Spoiler)
Well, having retired myself from the medical field and having done plenty of LSD when I was a teenager into my early twenties, and being 60-years-old now, I don't care how fit you think you are or how healthy you appear to be, a 60-year-old heart will NOT, I repeat, will NOT be able to handle acid. A heart that old will shut down ... guaranteed! Acid speeds up the heart rate considerably for a long period of time ... 8 hours or more, depending on the dosage! It is also a vasoconstrictor for a long time, as well! Old people cannot take drugs that affect the vasculature and the heart in that manner and expect to live through it. Nope. Sorry. That part of this story is an outright lie!
The movie is preachy, far-reaching, and an impossibility! You cannot make it in the music industry unless you have serious Illuminati connections, you sell your soul to Satan, or both, and that goes for "Christian" musicians, as well. I am a professional musician and have been for 45 years. I have albums right here on Amazon and all over every streaming outlet, but I am not very popular, because I have not sold my soul to any record labels. I have my own record label, and that's how it will always remain. I used to play professionally in the California circuit in the 80s with some very popular "hair bands." It's all run by the labels. Talent has nothing to do with it, nor do dreams, drive, striving for goals or anything else this movie tries to get you to believe. There is no truth in this movie; it is all a big facade!