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Reviews
Dark Matter (2024)
Total fiction (no science)
What total nonsense is this?? A box he made that allows the occupant to be in a state of superposition yet the different 'worlds' they visit don't rely on there being a box in the first place 🙄 or the dead worlds with no civilisation that still have satellites to work their GPS 😂😂😂
The box is powered by a drug you take to make your brain accept the superposition - none of this is any of this works with achroderingers cat etc.
Only watched this for Jennifer. Connelly and she's barely in it.... Now that's a waste of an a grade actress.
Only got to episode 4 where they 'see' the infinite possibilities as an endless corridor with infinite doors.... Pass. What a waste of time.
Invincible (2021)
Huge letdown of a season 2
Sigh what a crap, dull, boring, go nowhere nonsense episode/season. With all the blood and gore you'd think this show would be cool but instead you get 90% of the runtime with people having feelings, talking about their feelings, talking about how they talked about their feelings.,,, seriously who is rhe target audience? 15 year old girls? And all the soul searching Urgh boring! No one wants to see the hero sulking around hoir after hour whilst fully saying "who am I" every 5 minutes. And what awful girlfriend of his- what a horrible abusing person. Glad she's gone: and everyone keeps "dying" oh but then they are fine.... The season was a MASSIVE downgrade and dull as dishwater.
3 Body Problem (2024)
As good as you'd expect from the guys who ruined television
3 body problem is a book trilogy that details an advanced alien civilisations intent to conquer earth but far from being easily digestible; the original content is cerebral and nihilistic - def not fit for general tv consumption. Uou have to wonder why these 2 wouid choose to bring something like this to screen. I won't spoil the overall ending of rhe books but it goes nowhere fun. This adaption is mediocre; from the bad casting, bad acting, bad cgi and overall choices of what to include/exclude from the source material. The season ends with wel, a whimper. Get used to that.
The script and pacing is off (Better than the Chinese one though) but the science and common sense (which wouid have made this tense and cool) quickly flies out the window at light speed.
Overall, a pointless watch and a waste of yoir time. Thanks again GOT ruiners.
Blown Away: Final Gallery (2024)
What a stupid ending!
There is no way, and I mean NO way that Morgan's final installation was as good as Ryan's. Ryan's wouid easily sit in any museum in the worked but Morgan's was just a hot mess of small pieces that aren't even interesting - the judge didn't even pick up the Chicago theme!
Something is majorly up with this show and I am dissapointed in how this has turned out. We always love this show and watch every year with enthusiasm but now meh... how can you watch a show when you think it's rigged now?
Ryan was objectively the better glass blower and we all feel like Morgan was picked just because she's edgy etc. Super super shame.
Ricky Stanicky (2024)
Brutally bad
The overarching set up of the is movie is that these 3 friends have been lying to their partners constantly and repeatedly their whole relationships (ummmm is that funny? Yikes) and when they get caught out they must produce a real Ricky. Forget the fact that the main costars are unknowns and play some generic ginger friend and black friend- but Zac Efron looks totally messed up. He genuinely looks like a 69 year old who's had a facelift to look 30 again.... It's seriously distracting. The black friend is gay? And they do nothing with that. John cena steals this movie, outputting the only 3 or 4 laughs in the whole movie.
The ending was a nonsensical mash of plotlines, none done effectively. ChatGPT?
I had to turn it off with 10 mins to go and watch the last scenes the next day as I just couldn't bring myself to watch if I'm one sitting.
I would not recommend this movie to anyone.
Damsel (2024)
Slow, dull, predictable
Oddly paced, choppy story and lame script. You can guess the plot about 2 mins in but it takes the movie 38 more minutes to get there.... Then it's another hour wandering around a cave while the disparate pieces of plot - seemingly slapped together by ChatGPT - try and assemble a coherent premise.
Spoiler alert / it doesn't.
The movie makes little sense and stinks of a contractual obligation to pump anything out.
Milly Bobby brown does a good job with what she's given - which isn't much - but it's not a film you would ever watch again. It'll probably trend on Netflix as number 1 - which shows people will watch anything.
The Marvels (2023)
It wssnt thaaaaaat bad....😬
Carole Danvers gets her powers entangled? With that of Monica rambeau and Kamala khan - who if you haven't watched Disney plus you won't know...
The entanglement is 'explained' as the same base powers when they touched the jump points, even thoigh Kamala khan wasn't touching it...
Power swaps seem to happen all the Time or some of the time depending on what the plot needs at that time.
Big bad unknown and I described villain wants to save her world by consuming the resources of other worlds after captain marvel destroyed her world. Bit odd to have a villain that you sympathise with... like she has a point. She wants a magic bracelet mcguffin thingy that was made 'somewhere sometime by someone millions of years ago" - explanation over. Oh and she only has 1, the other one is with Kamala on earth. How? Who knows. Shall we explain that? Nope.
Anyway so she steals the air from the skrulls refugee planet (that looks like paradise... maybe nia de costs doesn't know what a refugee camp looks like 🤷♂️) then on to steal water from a water planet. Which she promptly lands on and enters the city to confront captain marvel for.... Some reason. As she doesn't need to do that to steal the water. That planet sings and the prince is Calabrian marvels husband... is there an backstory or explanation that relates to the overall plot? Nope. Anyway. She steals the water and supposedly rhat destroys the planet. Do we ever see or care about those inhabitants. Nope. On to next contrived story point.
Villian (who can remember the name?) wants to steal earths sun. Ok.... So she steals the second bracket and opens a whole in the multiverse. What? I thought you wanted to steal the sun.... Nope. She dies they close rhe tear in space/time and then captain marvel is like "oh I can reignite the sun easy peasy just by flying through it" 😂 like, there is literally no point to this movie happening. Kamala khan was the best in it. Not the worst mcu movie (that is Thor 4) but def not a cinema movie... more like a spy kids Nikelodeon movie of the week.
The Brothers Sun (2024)
Another interesting idea stretched over faaaaarrrrrr too long
This would have made a solid movie or at most, a 4 part series. But leave it to Netflix to think (and fund) content minutes over quality. I mean, do these people get paid to produce things by the minute? This is (was) an interesting concept and obvi everyone is there to see mixhelle yeoh kick butt but it's Booorrrring and bloated. There's about an hour of content devoted to the protagonists love of improv.... 🙄 not joking. Fight Scenes are good but the overall set up of why he is in LA and why rhe mum is so important isn't set up so you watch hours (and hours) or content without context. And that's rhe problem here. If this was a tight 2 hours you can wait for the payoff but 8? Pass. Sorry the length of tris ruins it. I BEG Netflix to stop ruining good stories in this manner.