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Reviews
Children of Men (2006)
Little too over the top!
The movie was a bit too over the top for me.
**Spoilers below**
Was Clive Owens character invisible to others except when he wanted to be seen?? He seemed to be able to sneak around without ever being seen by the "terrorists". He could open car doors and slam them at will with nobody hearing? He could run threw the streets without getting shot while everybody else around was getting hit.
And Michael Caine's house...what's up with that? The government has taken over but his big house just off the road is never found. His driveway is covered by some tree branches and that does it?
The "mother" can run around town pregnant and nobody notices even though there hasn't been a pregnant women in 18 years? They can even talk about the pregnancy and the baby while on the bus and people 3 feet away never turn to look in awe?
And is Clive Owen Superman? He can push a car in the mud with two guys 100 feet away and they don't hear him? Also when he stops at the top of the hill and watches Jasper get shot. He then yells at the woman, "don't touch me, don't ever touch me" and then gets in the car, slams the door and starts the engine and drives off. But none of the "terrorists" could hear ANY of that even though they were only a few hundred feet away and all by themselves in a quiet forest area? Loved how he pushed the car uphill in the mud at the end of the driveway too and got it up to 10 mph in like 2 seconds with the "terrorists" running after him.
Then lastly, there is the gypsy woman near the end. They knew her for all of 5 minutes but they are willing to pass off the miracle baby to her through the doorway?
The film makers could of made this a MUCH better picture without so many GLARING loopholes in the story.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Go to Pearl Harbor...
then see this movie. Anyone who criticizes this movie obviously has NOT been to Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. Go there, see the REAL thing, go to the museums, take the boat ride out to the USS Arizona Memorial walk above the ship, smell and look at the oil that still leaks from the boat, talk to the guides who lived through it and then watch this movie.
Anybody who has the ability to criticize Hollywood for making this film and being as accurate as possible all while still making it entertaining has NO heart. There are more Japanese people at the REAL Pearl Harbor paying their respects than you can ever imagine.
Sadly there are more Americans on this board who've blasted this movie and ridiculed it....those Japanese people have more heart, soul and respect than the cowardly people on this site who criticize a movie that changed American history and in the process crap on the graves of all the men who died at Pearl Harbor!!
If standing over the USS Arizona and looking down at the ship and knowing the bodies of many of the 1100+ men that died on that ship that 7th day of December 1941 doesn't make your hairs stand on end and your heart skip a beat, you aren't an American nor a human with a soul.
Broken Flowers (2005)
Dry, Boring, just plain terrible
I rented this movie based on all the acclaim in got from "critics" on the box. All I can say is, after seeing this POS, there is NO doubt in my mind that productions PAY OFF "critics" to say good things about a movie.
Granted, there were a FEW funny parts, almost all exclusively coming from the "Winston" character. But GOOD LORD, how many driving shots are necessary in a movie? How many shots of the side view mirror are needed to show that he's driving somewhere?
Just an absurdly boring and pointless film. The only highlights, Sharon Stone and her daughter (played by Alexis Dziera). Those scenes were entertaining and not just because of Alexis's full nudity either.
Don't waste your time on this 1 hour and 45 minute movie that could of been told in a 25-30 minute short film with MUCH greater results, though it still would of been boring and would of lacked ANY kind of interesting ending.
One of the worst films I've seen in YEARS, and not only do I watch movies, I work on them!!
Undiscovered (2005)
Edgy, entertaining musically based independent film
Edgy, documentary style movie about struggling musicians in LA. Ashley Simpson was surprisingly good. She ended up being one of the highlights. The soundtrack is great too. Nothing really new story wise, but entertaining nonetheless. The use of a lot of hand-held long lens close ups in low light made for a lot of out of focus photography, but that added to the edginess and raw look of the film. But you'll want to sit near the back of the theater so you won't get a headache from it. If you are into music and enjoy seeing movies that aren't the TYPICAL Hollywood cookie cutter films go out and see this movie. Okay they "require" 10 lines so I'll add this: since it's not a "blockbuster" you won't be sitting around a bunch of jabbering people (and their kids) driving you crazy as they talk, crunch on their popcorn or nachos and slurp on their big gulps. It was great seeing a movie with only a handful of people in the theater.
According to Spencer (2001)
Focus please!!!
There was a couple things that stood out when I watched this film. 1. Nearly 1/3 of the movie was out of focus. This is a crew position that producers must hire experienced people in. 2. It was very obvious that the Director of Photography was no camera operator.
***Spoilers below***
The story was very flat, and the "roommates" attempt at making a "porn" was so pathetic, it was actually tough to watch. This movie takes place in modern times, yet the "camera" they were using was from what the early 70's? The woman that showed some skin was in her 40's. Couldn't they of found a hot young actress to play that part. Giovanni's sister Marissa was nice, but they were shooting a "porn" with their clothes on....lame.
There was obviously sexual tension and attraction between Spencer and Melora, but nothing develops except they kiss at the end. To make the story at least interesting, they should have gotten it on at some point. Mia's breasts were practically hanging out in a couple scenes, and the practically see through shirts she had on a couple times teased the viewers, but we would have preferred a taste, it would of at least supported the whole sexual theme that was present in the whole movie.
And lastly, what was up with the MULLET on the Ezra character. I grimaced each time I looked at that. Too bad all of his shots were in focus, and most of Mia's were out. If it were the other way around, I wouldn't of minded so much.
Blood Work (2002)
Can't believe Clint directed this POS
This is one of the worst movies I've seen in years. It's hard to believe Clint could direct such a masterpiece like Mystic River, and direct such a piece of garbage like Blood Work. The acting in this movie was horrendous. I've seen students in an Acting 101 class with superior talent. Angelica Huston plays his doctor and she does so with the professionalism of an abusive parent. Not only does she have absolutely NO ability to remotely act like a doctor, much of her on screen time she spends literally yelling and even cursing at her patient played by Clint. Pahleeze! Even Clint's performance is as dry and dull as unsalted Saltine Crackers. And Paul Rodriguez's only point in being in this movie was to yell at Clint's character. Why would he take this role? Afraid to tell Clint Eastwood that you have something better...doing standup. I won't go into the story, but say it's as predictable as they come. I guess storyline throughout and predicted who the "killer" was about 20 minutes into the movie.
They had a $50 million budget on this movie? Really? What was it spent on?
Clint must have been taking $30 million of it, because there was NOTHING in this movie that deemed expensive. Well...they had a helicopter for one scene, that was outrun and outmanuvered by two men on FEET! Hey, spotlight is on the running men one minute, the next, there in a dark alley doing a standoff all by themselves, and then magically a minute or two later, hey there it is again. Please, what is this garbage?
They surely didn't spend any movie on the soundtrack. Because there wasn't any. They would have "pivotal" scenes in the movie and it while the actors were trying to make it suspenseful, it was so quiet, you could almost here crickets chirping.
The editing was bad, the camera work was bad, and in one scene where Clint and his new love interest were walking along the shore line, the sun was setting. You could see Clint alright, but his love interest was a black woman playing a hispanic, and you could hardly see her. She was a shadow. On top of that, they shot it on such a windy day, her hair was blowing all over her face. It was absolutely pathetic.
I could go on and on picking out glaringly bad mistakes and terribly written dialogue and achingly bad acting, but I'll spare you. Clint was trying to be an action star one last time here, and it doesn't work for a 70 year old man.
By the time I was 1/2 way through this movie I was ready to watch something meaningful in comparison, like Baywatch. No but really, I would have turned it off in a second, if it wasn't for my wife who wanted to see if who I predicted was correct. Save your time, pass on this movie, you'll have more entertainment watching Sesame Street with your kids.
S.W.A.T. (2003)
Racism runs amuck in SWAT...
Well this is a poor excuse for a movie. It wasn't long into this movie when I began to realize that, with the exception of the star (Colin Farell) EVERY loser, dimwit, traitor, or antagonist is white. Meaning...the only cop that gets shot is white. The "terrorist" from another country is white. The cop that goes bad is white. The prissy, stuck up people on the plane are white. The "pinhead" police captain that everybody hates is white. The guy that commits suicide is white, etc etc etc. All the "heroes" (again with the exception of Colin Farrell) are African American or Hispanic. Of course, the filmmakers had a scene where a black cop arrests a black man and a black lady in front of her house says, "don't you have anything better to do than put another black man in jail?" A pretty much useless, pointless scene that was obviously a cover for all the anti-white racism throughout the REST of the movie.
In a time where we are to be politically correct and doing all we can to erase racism, this movie just goes and does it to the white person. Had the story plots portrayed any other race in the way they did whites, there would of been protest and outrage over this movie. Boycotts would of taken place before the movie hit the theaters. But I guess to these filmmakers and this film studio, racism IS okay as long as it's directed toward caucasians.
As with ANY kind of racism, this was WRONG on the filmmakers part and should NOT be supported by ANYONE.