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zanderd69
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Lovecraft Country (2020)
Rubbish
I lasted 40 mins into the first episode before switching off as this is supposedly the best. It's boring, clichéd, poorly acted and about as subtle as a wrecking ball. Rubbish.
The Expendables 3 (2014)
Please stop
Where to even begin.
I liked the first 2 movies, they knew their audience, both 18+ and were mindless action movies, but entertaining.
This on the other hand.
Why the need for a 12+? Does Sly think the audience he aimed the originals at has somehow gone back in time and are now teenagers, wondering who he is?
Why would you get all these stars together and make this tripe?
The special effects are seriously bad, the morals of it even worse - bad guy commits genocide > good guys commit genocide to get bad guy!I mean seriously, by the time they get the bad guy they've butchered about 400 people, but barely a drop of blood is seen.
The acting is horrific, Jason Statham really shouldn't be doing this and Antonio Banderas should be ashamed for taking part in this.
It's like they all just wanted a lads holiday and decided to make a movie while drunk at the bar and wrote the script on a bunch of napkins covered in Bourbon.
Rumour has it they intend on making a film with an all female cast. I seriously hope they don't, if the lead female in this is anything to go by.
What a waste of money, actors and my time, which is not expendable on watching rubbish films and Sly attempting to run like a midget grandad on steroids.
2/10
Maleficent (2014)
This is awful.
Watched the trailer and though it might be a reasonable Disney re-make.
After 5 mins I knew I'd made a mistake.
The acting at the beginning is awful. In fact it's awful all the way through. At times I wished I could go to sleep forever, or indeed, would this movie make me go to sleep forever.
Annoying characters are prevalent throughout, I really wanted Aurora to get hurt by the end she was so unbelievably a pain in the backside.
Angelina Jolie barely holds this thing together and it all feels rushed, to the point where the main event of the whole film barley lasts 30 seconds.
Special effects are average, and those little fairies would get their wings clipped anywhere else with their rotten chat.
All in all a total waste of time, not sure who's giving this decent ratings, but they need to wake up and smell the coffee.
3/10 - but just for the special effects.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)
Incoherent and dull
I watched this the other night and still have no idea what happened.
The character development is pitiful, you feel nothing for any of them and i struggled to work out who was who all the way through the movie! I think they thought we would gasp once the spy was revealed, but by that point i had lost interest and was mighty confused by it all.
As spy stories go it was basically a game of Chinese whispers, with minimal action, no tense scenes, an incoherent plot. On the plus side the acting was good, but not enough to make me recommend this to anyone.
I presume you need to read the book, or at least have a brochure explaining what the heck is going on.
If you haven't read the book or watched the TV series from the seventies then don't bother with this.
A total waste of a fine cast.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Really?
Okay so i liked the first one it was fun! The second was a bit of a mess but still had a bit of charm. This is just a mess. Yes the special effects are impressive, but with 170 mil spent on it so it should be. Whoever wrote the screenplay for this deserves a slap. the timing of certain lines made me laugh, when they were supposed to make me think! seriously the dialogue in this movie is so bad its laugh out loud. There are scenes that look like they have been written by the us government. anyone outside of the us will see it as drivel. The action scenes are decent but the rest f the film is so badly done it doesn't even matter. For the love of the loaf Michael Bay stop butchering this franchise and do something like captain America 2 where your rubbish script would suit instead of inflicting this rubbish on the rest of the world. i don't usually check my watch at the cinema, but 5 times i checked just to make sure i hadn't slipped into a time-warp. i went in not expecting much, and left expecting to be treated as if i was smarter than a five year old on heroin.
3/10 but only for the effects.
Neds (2010)
Brutally Classy
Just watched this at the cinema and had to write my first review! Having lived in Glasgow for eight years and seen the number of Chelsea smiles on show, this film hits the nail on the head as to how brutal Glasgow is for deprived kids. The acting is first class. Connor McCarron puts in a mighty performance as a child with a promising future, only to see his dreams disappear as he gets increasingly involved in the Glasgow gangs. 1970's Glasgow is flawlessly recreated and the mood of the film grips you within the first minute. If you've seen it you'l know what i mean! The pace is perfect, Peter Mullan does an excellent job in showing the downfall of the characters and asking questions of society and how tough life can be for a young kid in what is a violent city. I honestly came out of the cinema traumatised and spellbound, which is no mean feat. I would recommend to all, but warn you it will affect you, the violence is intense and the language is pretty grim, but realistic, thats how it is! Possibly s good as Scotlands finest film: Trainspotting, which is something i never thought i'd say.