Jessica-katz5 Reviews

Le loup et le lion (2021)

Was this supposed to be a feel-good movie?

[5/10 · 7 March 2023]

The entire movie is just humans being humans, and no, I don't mean that in a nice way. There are literally only 3.5 redeeming characters, the rest highlight just how far humanity is from the human race. If the point of this movie was to make me even angrier at us as a species, then congratulations, mission accomplished.

Five minutes in and we're watching poaching, the theft of baby animals for the circus. The best scene was probably the plane crash to put the kibosh on that.

Guns, guns, more guns, tranq darts, animal exploitation, and the only way to escape it is to live on your own private island.

Skinamarink (2022)

Should Have Been a 15-Minute Short

[2/10 · 3 February 2023]

One hour and three minutes into this 110-minute film and nothing yet has happened. The only thing keeping me going is the fact I'm on IMDB reading all the reviews, keeping myself fairly occupied as I sift through the positive reviews looking for any helpful nuggets of information as to what's happening. No such luck. Even the great reviews just speak upon the artsy fartsy vibe. The scariest thing thus far has been the abundance of Legos scattered all over the floors. I'm baffled how we haven't gotten a bare-footed scream-scene yet. Now THAT is terrifying. Watch with subtitles because the sound is absolutely terrible. Voices and dialogue completely muted and unclear, yet any sort of crinkling or background noise or tv channel is turned up to 10. This is purely self-indulgence; if you're losing 95% of your audience who goes to see it, there's a problem. I'm not sure I would have been able to stay either, I've only gotten this far because I've paused it a couple times to get up and do other things. I'm glad I'm using my free sample of Shudder to watch this, as I would have been pretty miffed paying to watch this.

Dune (2021)

Epic Sci-fi With Some Flaws

[8/10 · 22 October 2021]

As a whole, I really enjoyed this movie. I was a little confused as to what was going on in the beginning, but eventually the movie took hold and drew me in. The special effects and cinematography were great, the acting was great, and the ending left me wanting Part 2 real bad. I wound up watching the 1984 version right after, and the original wound up filling in a TON of holes and really helped me understand what was going on sand what I was missing from the 2021 version. They definitely should have done that for the 2021 version, and they also left out quite a bit what the spice was actually used for and what its effects on people were. I understood why everyone was fighting over it in the 1984 version. I think it's worth watching the original before this new one just to have some extra background info.

False Positive (2021)

Skip It

[1/10 · 26 June 2021]

The entire movie I kept thinking to myself, "this is probably the worst movie I've watched in 2021." Cliche dialogue. Slow-paced. Artsyfartsy camera shots. I was interested in seeing how Ilana would do away from Broad City; this is virtually her first serious role. I was definitely underwhelmed by her, very emotionless, and whatever emotion she did have to express toward others felt very awkward. You can tell she's a standoffish, independent, hardened woman from Manhattan, lol. She didn't really convey much through her character. I was entertained enough to watch the whole thing, but not a movie I'd recommend to anyone.

Cursed (2020)

Four stars for at least holding my attention for all 10 episodes

[4/10 · 24 July 2020]

I didn't read the book prior to watching the show, but I'm not sure it would have mattered if I had. This show just infuriated me. I've read a few fantasy novels and this just had my blood boiling from the beginning.

At the very basic level... how are you going to have an entire group of Fey (Fae?) but have them be the most useless species of being on the entire planet? How is the "Queen of the Fey" and wielder of the Sword of Power the most pathetic, whining, sniveling, useless character of the show?

She has "powers," that after having them her entire life, can't seem to control or use in any particularly useful way through the entire show. Sure, it helps her get out of a couple jams but it takes ten thousand years for anything to even happen with the stirring of the roots, and when it's actually NEEDED where are they?

None of the other Fey have any skills whatsoever. They can't defend themselves, they have no powers, they don't know any combat, they can't even work the land to provide themselves with their own food! Why even have them be Fey at all? Useless. All just running around terrified and hiding. If this had been any other fantasy story about the Fae species, they would have smoked those Red Paladins within the first 30 seconds of them showing their faces. The reaction of the Red Paladin's to the knowledge of existing Fey was so dramatic. The Fey posed zero threat, at least from what was shown in the show.

You mean to tell me that Sister Iris worked under Sister Igraine for a significant span of time in the monastery, only for Igraine to, not at any point, recognize Iris as the spy and infiltrator of the Fey hideout?

You mean to tell me that neither Nimue or Merlin or Igraine -now The Widow- didn't kill that weaselly looking Iris at the end? Where was Nimue's power? How is Merlin's lightning aim SO bad to miss her multiple times?

Everyone just stands around gaping and doing absolutely nothing. Nimue's sword skills were godawful, I was scared she was going to go flying away with the sword with how bad she swung that thing around.

I honestly cannot believe I subjected myself to 10 episodes of this. There was real potential but the story line was really just severely lacking. I won't even touch on how inaccurate the Merlin/Arthur/Nimue retelling is. It shouldn't even have been done.

El Hijo (2019)

Not sure why everyone is confused

[5/10 · 28 July 2019]

The ending is very clear. In the end, we find out that Lorenzo was right the entire time. The baby he was given wasn't the one he had seen in the beginning, and the mother was a complete psychopath.

The issue I had with this movie is that we never learn details:

WHY did the mother do this?

WHAT did she do with the baby? I'm not sure I'm buying the theories that the original was deformed and she cloned it... Because why would she take the "defective" one? Also, it's clear there was never a deformed baby to begin with, since Lorenzo DID see his child, at least a few times, and had dozens of drawings of him, and there was nothing wrong.

Was the grandmother the influencing factor here?

Why did she suddenly turn on her husband and then ultimately kill him?

What about the real child was worth this much secrecy and protection?

Where did this other child even come from? Was it stolen? Created in the lab? A fraternal twin?

I get endings that make you think, but this isn't one of those movies. We're told what happens in the end, but it falls flat since you're basically left with, "but why??"

The Lion King (2019)

Relax, people.

[5/10 · 19 July 2019]

Is this film really 1 star quality? No. Visually, they did an amazing job with landscape and animal creation. But is this a 10 star film? Let's all be real. No. It's not. This was one they could have left alone in regards to live action. The timeline just felt very disjointed. The lack of any sort of emotion from ANY character makes it hard to feel the things we felt in the animated film. The best characters were Timon and Pumbaa. And the flying tuft of lion hair. Animated Scar was a great character. He was slimy and dramatic and obviously a slithering pathetic excuse of a lion. Live action Scar just seems bored with it all. Even the dopey animated hyena made you feel a sorta way. 10 stars for visuals. I'll give it a 4-5 for the acting and voices.

Tully (2018)

I've never been more infuriated watching a movie

[6/10 · 29 January 2019]

I've never been more annoyed or infuriated watching a movie. I'm not even a mother and I had to get up and take a walk because I started raging to myself and screaming at the TV.

Obviously I know that women all over the world deal with lazy and immature husbands, but to see it in my face so openly, so blatantly. Furious is an understatement.

This poor woman is used up, beaten down, exhausted, mentally and emotionally checked out and this guy can do is lay in bed playing video games. I wanted to punch him square in the balls for the entire movie. I literally have never hated a fictional character as much as I hated him while watching this movie.

I love the scene at the gas station where she just zones out and he stupidly asks, "where did you go?"

AWAY FROM YOUR DUMB A** That's where! Ladies, choose your men wisely, lest you wind up with a useless sack of skin resembling this man child.

Death Wish (2018)

Different versions of the film?

[4/10 · 26 June 2018]

SPOILER: I was disgusted by this movie in the first 5 minutes. From that point out I had zero compassion for Bruce Willis or his family, and once reaching the end of the movie didn't even understand WHY the first scene even had to go down.

I'm further confused because this is a synopsis I just read:

"The movie opens up with a powerful opening scene. Willis, playing a surgeon named Paul Kersey, has to act quickly to save the life of a cop and the gunman who shot the cop during a shootout. Kersey ultimately does save the cop after five minutes of attempting to stop the bleeding.

The scene ends with Kersey walking to save the life of the gunman."

In the version I watched, Bruce Willis' character is in the OR he gets requested when the shot cop rolls in. Bruce asks the nurse a one word question: Vest?

And she responds with: Yes.

Clearly indicating he's asking if it's a police officer.

He gets to the room with the shot cop and does NOTHING. Cop flat lines, Willis doesn't attempt to resuscitate, calls the death immediately upon flat lining. He walks out to the now dead officer's partner and garbles out some BS about how he "did all he could" and then walks off to operate on the shooter.

Cop's partner asks if he's really going to go save the life of the shooter and Willis walks away and mutters:

And I'm supposed to feel bad his wife got shot in the face? Karma is a bitch. Even in movies.

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)

Loved this movie

[10/10 · 29 May 2017]

I personally loved this movie, I loved the Cuban twist, I loved the music, the beats, and the dancing. Neither of the main characters had dance experience but wound up lighting up the screen. They had a great connection between them.

I had to re-watch this movie after watching the ABC remake of the original Dirty Dancing. My soul needed to be cleansed.

Just a few comments: This is NOT a remake of the original Dirty Dancing, nor is this a sequel. The original Dirty Dancing took place in 1963. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights takes place in 1958.

For those upset that it didn't match up to the original? It wasn't supposed to. Unlike the original Dirty Dancing, this one is actually loosely based on the true life of producer JoAnn Fregalette Jensen who moved to Cuba with her family in 1958.

If you didn't like this movie, then "Si. Yous a square."

Dirty Dancing (2017 TV Movie)

Please ABC make it stop

[1/10 · 25 May 2017]

There are some original movies you just should not ever touch. Dirty Dancing is close to the top of that list.

I can't even call this movie a remake, because nothing was remade. This movie was miscast and the whole vibe of the movie was just off.

In the original, there is just this raw, gritty, sexual, sensual vibe throughout the entire movie. Even when Baby and Johnny were just having regular conversations you could feel the connection between them.

I don't mind Abigail Breslin. I enjoy shows like Scream Queen. However, she should not have been cast as Baby. She was stiff, awkward, and uncomfortable. If you watch the original, yes, Baby was supposed to be new to dancing, but even in her goofiness, Jennifer Gray still managed to be feminine, fluid, flow'y, and sensual in her movies. Breslin was very rigid and boxy in her dancing and those lift scenes were so painful to watch. Legs splayed out, back straight as a board. No, Breslin isn't a dancer, but perhaps they should have cast someone with a bit of a dancing background to tackle this character.

If you're absolutely insisting on remaking an original iconic movie, you better make DAMN sure you're living up to the original, and even going BEYOND the original and making it better. This was just a complete abomination and Patrick Swayze is rolling in his grave right now.

Not only did they ruin this movie, but they had the BALLS! To add to the original and make up new scenarios. It's almost like ABC wanted to totally screw with viewers and kill all their hopes and dreams.

After watching the original, I know all people wanted to believe that Baby and Johnny lived happily ever after and had that once-in-a-lifetime love. Well, say no more! ABC is here to save the day and tell you just what DID happen to Baby and Johnny. They didn't end up together at all. Baby went on to get married to someone else and have his kid.

I enjoyed the trivia fact on this page: Jennifer Grey, who starred as Baby, turned down a role in this remake of the original film. When asked her reasons for declining, Grey said: "I was asked to do something on that show and I was flattered because I always want to be asked because it's nice to want to be included. But for me, it would be sacrosanct for me to do it because it didn't feel appropriate to me. It feels like if you're going to do your own thing, do your own thing."

Even Jennifer Gray knew to leave well enough alone. The original was way too valuable as a film to remake, and had she made a cameo in this movie, would have been hugely disrespectful to the late Patrick Swayze.

ABC for the love of God STOP remaking movies.

Sincerely, The entire world

The Founder (2016)

Heartbreaking

[8/10 · 25 February 2017]

Really don't even know how to review this movie. Acting was superb, but content makes me sick. I give this a 1 on storyline alone. Ray Kroc was a scumbag of the highest order, in a class all his own. My heart breaks for the McDonald Brothers who were steamrolled, manipulated, and who had their livelihood utterly destroyed by this cunning, ruthless, and I'm convinced, sociopathic man. Especially with the notes at the end how they never received one dime in royalties. This story will really make you hate McDonald's.