rafterdog2 Reviews

Sin City (2005)

A two hour comic book.

[10/10 · 1 April 2005]

The critics were right, "Sin City" is a visual mind-job. The blacks, the whites, the colors on top of that. The Neo-Noir feel, the internal dialogs, the dames in distress, all read like a flick out of the forties. At the same time, the over-violent fight scenes, the bombshell ladies, the extreme amount of fishnet, leather, thongs, and other random bondage gear, in addition to the guns, slightly impractical (yet ever so familiar) storyline; Sin City is probably one of the greatest comic book (or 'graphic novel', if you are ever so picky) adaptations that I have ever seen.

And the inclusion of Jessica Alba didn't hurt either.

If you are really into comic books, don't miss it. If you are a guy, go see it. If you are a girl, go surprise your guy by taking him to go see it.

100 Girls (2000)

Blatantly Bad, but oh so good

[8/10 · 25 May 2004]

I saw this movie one day on Cinemax. Then I saw it again, on Cinemax, and then I couldn't get it out of my head. A trip to Media Play was required in order for me to obtain this movie that was strangely addicitive.

100 Girls is the kind of movie you watch when there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETTER TO DO ANYWHERE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!! I did find it amusing to laugh at the character of Matt, who is practically killing himself in order to find his "one true love" who really just gave him a phonomenal lay one night on an elevator.

Throughout the movie, Matt drops one liners that provide wonderfully helpful, and wildly innacurate, insight to the female psyche. Outside of that, there really isn't much need to watch this movie.

Oh, except for Jamie Pressley and Katherine Hegli...

X2 (2003)

Producers must have been a bit paraniod

[3 May 2003]

Just saw the new X men movie, and I think that the writers have completely sold out.

SPOILERS

Way too much happens in this movie. Sure, there is the whole deal with the bad guy trying to take over the world scheme, but too much else seems like it was just thrown in.

The movie begins when there is an assasination attempt on the President made by Nightcrawler (who's mind is controlled by Stryker). Don't worry , Crawler turns out to be a good guy. An immediate investigation is launched on both sides, human and mutant, to see who was behind the situation.

Logan comes home, and immediately it seems he is in the middle of not one, but two love triangles. It turns out Rouge and Bobby (Iceman) have accelerated their relationship, and the whole "non-contact" thing is driving bobby nuts. Wolverine seems to be the childhood crush of Rouge (eliciting jealousy from Bobby), and Logan is still in love with Jene. A little awkward? No, just poorly placed. Don't get me wrong, you can have a good comic book without the romance, but the movie blows it way out of proportion.

It's a good thing Logan comes home, because the rest of the X-team runs out to handle some things about the assasination. Jene and Storm go to Boston to find Nightcrawler, Prof. X and Scott (Cyclops) go and visit their friend, Magneto. This leaves the Xiavier university vulnerable to attack by government troops, which happens. The attack forces the students to flee, sending a small team of them (Wolverine, Rouge, Iceman, Pyro) in a Mazday RX4 to Boston. Meanwhile, Prof. X and Cyclops are captured by Strykers forces.

And Magneto manages to escape.

In Boston, we are exposed to Pyro's very short temper and violoence fetish as he torches several police cars. On their way back from Boston, the team (now heavy Storm and Jene, in the Blackbird) run into Magneto and Mystique. You figure there would be some fighting, instead, they ally to stop Strykers plan.

It turns out, Stryker was using mind altering syrums to draw out secrets and control people's minds. Now, he has built a second Coloso that he will use, in junction with a sedated Prof X, to destroy all mutants, at once. To make things more interesting, Strykers base of operations is Alkine Lake, Wolverines old stomping grounds.

The team manages to stop Stryker from killing all mutants. Remember Magneto is on their team now, and he manages to change the unit from killing all mutants, to killing all humans (its a double-cross). Don't worry, they all save the day, and force the President into giving a different address to the nation, one that is pro-mutant.

Oh, yeah, Jene dies. At least you think she dies. She goes off to perform some dramatic psyhcic duty, and is crushed by a wall of water. But something tells me we'll see her again, in the next movie.

Yes, at the end of two, they opened a whole can of worms for three. Jene is coming back, as Pheonix. Pyro goes bad, and will probably kill Iceman. And the movie will probably tank at the box office.

The bad part about these movies, character evolutoion is spread too far. I have seen no coming to reason from Storm, Prof X, or Cyclops. they are just, there. Wolverine is learning about his past, and growing stronger from it, Jene is developing her skills like no other, Rouge and Iceman are figuring out their whole mushy-mushy deal.

But what else would you expect an English major to gripe about?

The Ring (2002)

I am definitely not sleeping tonight

[2 November 2002]

I'll be honest with you, I don't scare easily. But The Ring did it for me. The part that gets me the worst is not the concept of dying or how the folks died, but the loud noises and ominous music that the producers placed at every single scene transition.

By far, the best movie I've seen this year. But I still have a few questions on the plot:

**SPOILER: DONT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FLICK YET*** They say that the girl in the begining of the movie died of a stroke, or heart failure. How does one look all moldy and bleedy when you're heart just stops? And second, the questiond I yelled aloud at the end of the movie, "Who made the tape?" If you by any chance wrote 'The Ring', and know, please tell us! Some would say the father made the tape, which is logical, but the concept you should have got was: the girl wanted her message to be heard. So that rules out the dad, but still, how do you make a tape when you're stuck in a well? ***END SPOILER****

But seriously folks, go see it. More importantly, go see it with someone. Don't make the mistake I did and watch it in an empty theater, and then have a long car ride home in the dark to do.

New Port South (2001)

The voice every underdog needs.

[31 October 2002]

John Hughes can't seem to get out of the 'high school movie phase'. The man has made some great pieces, but it's time to move on. His newest release, New Port South, was by far his smallest. It tells the story of three high school rebels who lash out at the administration.

Currently, I am a high school student. And I have seen students lash out against the teachers, the sports teams, whatever. But everything I have seen pales in comparison to what these three do. The posters, the demonstrations, the movies. It's all very intense, and honestly, I would be afraid to attend a high school that housed these types of teenagers.

But if you're looking for a last minute weekend flick with a, well, interesting soundtrack, I would recommend New Port South, that is, if the New Release rack is empty.

Dogma (1999)

A stunning reflection of 1999

[31 October 2002]

Recently, I approached my high school principle about the approval of my costume I was to wear on Halloween day. I was planning on wearing an outfit much like the ones Bartleby and Loki wear in Dogma. I told her what they looked like and her jaw hit the floor. She stated that what I had described was the exact same thing that the two Columbine shooters wore on the day of the massacre.

I feel Kevin Smith would have made a lot more money if he had just released Dogma sooner, as in BEFORE April 20, 1999. I go to school just down the block from Columbine High School, so faith was a little touchy in our area. The scene that kills it all is the Mooby Massacre in Chicago. Bartleby judges the execs, and Loki kills all who have done wrong.

Don't get me wrong, Kevin Smith is a great director, he ranks right up with Kubrick and Crowe. I most admire him for his riske topics, and how honest he is about them. But hey, history sucks.

The Shining (1980)

I can see why King was a little irritated

[31 October 2002]

Halloween night, a foot of snow and falling, what better movie could I have watched instead of "The Shining." A scary movie, I must admit. But I made the mistake of watching the movie before reading the book. Kubrick does a fine job of giving the willies in this movie, and also does a great job at leaving ends open for public harrasment. Like the blood pouring from the elevator, or the alleged 1921 'massacre', or why the hell Nicholson's face is in the 4th of July Ball photo at the end of the flick. It's a good thing they had the made for TV version. It gave King's book the movie it deserves.