jdring2007 Reviews

Wolf Creek (2005)

people giving this anything above a 4 are mental

[3/10 · 18 April 2024]

"UNRELENTING" "DEVASTATING"

Are you people nuts? Yeah, unrelentingly boring. Devastingly exhausting. The movie takes 42 minutes for anything even remotely interesting to happen, no exaggeration. And total, 58 minutes for anything horror-esque to begin -- which left a mere 46 minutes (likely only 40, given credits) in the movie. Good lord. Of course the villain is dumb and simple which works because the main protagonists are equally ignorant. Obviously, the movie would've worked better as a short film which tracks, too, given the low budget, incompetent pacing, and utterly stretched thin, rudimentary plot. I haven't been this misled since Open Water or Click.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Aesthetics over substance

[6/10 · 15 January 2024]

First, to enjoy this movie in any capacity you need to turn on subtitles (the audio mixing is god awful and Max only talks in caveman grunts). Then, to enjoy the movie further, turn the subtitles OFF, because the script is laughably wretched. Who wrote this, a 15 year old boy? Oh, right, George Miller. Unfortunately, 9 years later, and I'm still waiting on a new Mad Max movie. This didn't count. This was a Furiosa/Charlize Theron movie. If anyone can aptly portray a rough female character, it's Charlize. And she nails it. Still, calling it Mad Max and having him experience the occasional terrible-CGI-hallucination doesn't make it a Mad Max movie. He's hardly in it at all, and most of his screen time is spent behind a steel muzzle. Character actions, plot holes, and painfully bad dialogue all chalk this up to a solid 4. What it does have going for it, besides Charlize (and I love Tom Hardy but again, he's a pawn at best), is a cool aesthetic (until your eyes hurt and you develop a searing hatred for the color orange) and the first 30sec of the movie. That's no exaggeration; the first half-minute of the movie wields such intense yet simple cinematography, character immersion, and music (or lack thereof) that gets you pumped. Unfortunately, that mood goes right down the drain seconds later. What a wasted opportunity this stinker was. A shame, but to no surprise, that the vast majority of viewers LOVE this movie and every 10 that is on here probably comes from people who gave Birds of Prey a 10, too.

The Whale (2022)

awfully overrated; huge fixation on religion and grumpy teenage BS

[5/10 · 31 December 2023]

I get it, she's a teenager whose dad left when she was 8. And that's just the first transparent cliché. The script is a bore with the exception of the Moby Dick parallel that was lost in the marketing and should've been more present, which makes the title a double entendre. The movie as a whole is an absolute chore to get through. The dialogue between the daughter and, well, literally everyone was an unshakeable burden. It's not that she's a bad actress, I imagine she isn't, but good God her character follows every age-old trope with no hint of originality or fluctuation. To call her a wretched b***h is an understatement. Then there's the mom, who's the true villain of the movie and the sole source of the daughter's personality. The caretaker character, Liz, was also a rollercoaster to experience. Her acting was robotic but hey with a script like that it's understandable. My biggest gripe with this movie is Aronofsky's recent fixation on religion. We get it, you're an atheist. Chill. I am too, but his pigheadedness to dump it into every movie of his has recently become miserably unbearable. It's the wrong kind of preachy and it stinks up everything. Literally the only positive thing about this abominable attempt to be a tearjerker is Fraser. He's excellent, but I'm not surprised. He's been an underrated actor all these years. The music is great, sure, but not once in this movie did I shed a tear. I wasn't given a chance to let my empathy burgeon because the other characters insisted on their indifference. Reminds me of the movie Crash. An overrated shipwreck of plot-convenient unrealistic apathy. Spare me.

When Evil Lurks (2023)

lost potential

[5/10 · 10 December 2023]

Man, horror fans really are suckers for shock factors and "scary kids." Half an hour into this movie I was bewildered by the events, not because they were shocking but that they made zero sense. Nearly forty minutes later we get vague hints of exposition that reveal the movie's narrative, which I guess we were just supposed to grasp from the get-go like psychics. So, terrible job there. To make matters worse, after everything is vaguely but adequately explained, we get a mind-numbing exposition dump that lasts for over 15min. Then, to really add insult to injury, we get the worst horror movie trope ad nauseum - kids. The fixation, no, the ploy, to use possessed/infected kids. It's such a bore, be it in zombie movies or demonic ones, this movie being a frustrating combination of both.

On the plus side! Great practical effects and cinematography. Great acting, too, I guess. The story itself is excellent and original, the premise anyway, but its execution lazy to say the least and an absolute mess on film. Ninety percent of the 8, 9, and 10 star reviews on here are simply praising the shock-factor elements and gore. The movie Hatchet does these things better and with a cohesive albeit simple plot. Maybe someday we'll get a proper remake/reimagining of this movie, worthy of the cool premise.

Fast X (2023)

superior to 9, as good as 7; Mamoa steals the show but the outrageous action didn't disappoint

[8/10 · 27 November 2023]

Man, people treating this movie as if it's the first installment to be over the top or ridiculous. Come on, that began a staple like 3 or 4 movies ago. This one is remarkably better than 9, which is easily my least favorite in the franchise, and I might like this one as much as I liked 7. It's just FUN. The ridiculousness is entertaining without being too crippling stupid, and the action is at a level that borders on cartoonish but is still somehow very enjoyable. I find it hard to believe that people fawn over every iteration of the Avengers and yet are bombing Fast 10 as if they've had zero foresight. If you hated 9 (which you must've if you're giving this one anything below a 6) then how could you possibly have any hope for the sequel? Don't watch it, simple.

Anyway, I appreciated the many stars, old and new, am happy that The Rock/Hobbs is returning for the final one but disappointed that they felt the need to resurrect Gal Gadot (eye roll). Given that Charlize Theron is now technically on their side (admittedly dumb, though I highly enjoyed her scenes), it's quite possible that 11 will be the biggest stinker yet.

At any rate, easily my favorite aspect of this movie was Jason Mamoa, who was originally my sole incentive to see this; his villain seemed outrageous and silly in the trailer. The full movie sets on display an even more outlandish version of his character: talkative, flamboyant, unstable, twistedly funny, and in ways likeable despite his villainy. He was the spice this franchise needed, especially this movie, whose serious and dramatic moments are certainly the hardest to watch. It's far from perfect and doesn't match with other 8's on my list but all in all it was entertaining enough to achieve that number, will make for a great rewatch with the skip button at the ready for those painfully sappy scenes.

Black Mirror: Nosedive (2016) Season 3, Episode 1

relevancy does not equal quality

[6/10 · 1 August 2023]

Black Mirror fans are way too easily affected and shocked. I only watched this for Bryce and while she did great (whole cast performed well enough) the concept, although extremely relevant, only "hits close to home" if you're one of the marks, like her character. A 20-30min idea vomited across an hour, but then again that's the plight of most streaming shows to date. The ending was about as cringe as humanly possible, with the peak being the climactic phone call between Bryce and Alice Eve's character. The music and color schemes gave me a headache which I imagine was intended, but is the laziest form of psychological torture.

Insidious: The Last Key (2018)

original and powerfully acted in ways most numbskulls can't seem to grasp

[8/10 · 28 July 2023]

I really don't get the hate for this movie. In my opinion it's one of the best the franchise has to offer, far better than 3 that's for sure. Instead of fixating on the massive cliche of a little girl possessed or haunted (the prologue of the movie effective for once) we have an older Elise dealing with her abilities and uncovering mysteries that go against the grain of what's been done ad nauseam in the genre. The jump scares are by and large ineffectual flinch-wise, but personally what I love tge most about a good horror movie is getting chills (this one provided, satisfyingly), being psychologically disturbed (check), and having really cool creature/demon/cosmetic effects (big check). The little nuances such as the keyed fingers turning off a person's voice are so cool. And Hallmark as it may be, the mom coming back like a guardian angel was actually pretty touching. The humor was all nonchalant (in a good way) and didn't feel forced. The atmosphere was there. I'm not sure what the masses are expecting of horror movies these days. I felt that this provided in both atmospheric intensity and emotional drama, without being a sluggish progression through the latter.

Mission: Impossible (1996)

a classic thriller with some unique cinematography and unfolding of events

[8/10 · 8 September 2022]

What's to say that hasn't already been said? Tom Cruise sows this role and there's never a dull moment in his performance. The snippets of humor throughout are a nice touch and help add a sliver of levity to the consistent drama and suspense. Varying angles of perspective especially during dialogue was refreshing, as was the nonlinear approach at storytelling. The major twist occuring not at the very end but a little over halfway through was surprising in a good way, while still offering an additional "twist" for flavor, executed well. The action, in the traditional sense, is scarce but when occurred very effective. Ultimately is the suspense and performances across the board that you keep you hooked. And, but of course, that iconic soundtrack.

Empire State (2013)

nothing exceptional, but still enjoyable, Liam is great and everything else just kinda happens

[7/10 · 8 September 2022]

This was an unusually interesting experience. Fun, has some great spurts of action, sometimes dramatic, sometimes intense, and a little unpredictable. Also, despite Dwayne being on the cover, he's third billed and has a very atypical role. Sure, he can be very intimidating but he only has one action sequence and it's nothing remotely over-the-top, in fact, all the action scenes are quite realistic and almost sudden, making them more organic and exhilarating. Liam Hemsworth was great, honestly, I like him more than Chris. And as annoying as his character can be, Michael Angarano was really good, too. Overall nothing exceptional, but still definitely worth the watch especially if you like heist movies, much less ones based on true stories; sure, some dramatizations were made, but it was nonetheless entertaining.

Miss Sloane (2016)

superbly acted and written, even if a little theatrical in parts; a ruthless rush of dialogue that won't appeal to all

[7/10 · 3 September 2022]

I must first say that, while an immense Jessica Chastain fan, I'm not a commoner of this genre. Political thriller, it's called. But it's more of a political drama with some vigorous character study woven in. The thrills, per se, are only delivered late in the third act. And while entertaining, even unexpected, they almost felt theatrically unbelievable. Like we get it, it's a movie. But the thing is, until that point, it's not so obvious; the film does a great job at seeming feasible on all fronts while simultaneously impressive. Nobody can deny the acting chops of Chastain, and the supporting cast was effective, but it really is ninety percent fast dialogue. It can get quite. I only wish we'd gotten a little more insight into Sloane's past. Some of the weaving time stamps and editing of overlapping dialogue in the first half of the movie really irked me. Ultimately, I can imagine that if this genre is your type of thing, it's bound to be an easy 8 or even 9 for most of you. Just not me; but I'm also not blind to its merits.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)

arguably the weakest X-Men installment yet, with very few redeeming qualities

[6/10 · 2 September 2022]

While Jean Grey, even as Phoenix, has always been one of my least favorite X-Men characters, Famke Janssen managed to make her quite likeable in the original trilogy, and I didn't even know the actress at the time. Sophie Turner is, just, not a good fit. I've never seen her in anything else but she's quite one-dimensional in this. The script certainly doesn't help, and her character is never even a shade of evil or malicious; she's basically crying the entire movie, even when she's using her powers. Nearly every character in the movie felt very wooden, with the exception of McAvoy, Fassbender, and Chastain. These roles, and the awesome train scene climax, are the movie's only redeeming qualities. The phoenix at the end was also really cool. But unfortunately it blunders for 90 minutes until its best sequence.

The Losers (I) (2010)

most of the humor is good, if even adolescent, but the romantic elements are cringe and even the action meh

[6/10 · 2 September 2022]

Movies based on comic books trying to make sure you know they're based on comic books tend to be a big miss for me. They're obnoxious and silly and any attempt at producing a serious scene - even outright comedies have these - plunges hard. The same can go with the romantic elements between Jeffrey Dean Morgan and terrible actress Zod Saldana. Twists are predictable and even the action, while fairly abundant, fails from poor editing and cartoonish moments. Chris Evans and Idirs Elba make the movie not only bearable but quite engaging at times. Jason Patric as the douchey bad guy and Holy McCallany as his right hand man also bring the fun, but ultimately it's worth no more than a free stream if you're bored, especially if you're easily entertained.

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

great stop-motion even after 4k restoration; acting is decent enough and some interesting script decisions make this a unique watch

[7/10 · 2 September 2022]

Foremost, this movie has gotten too much hype about Raquel Welch in a fur bikini. Sure, she looks amazing. But it's not like she's the only one; many of the women are gorgeous, but not all. Same with the men. Our lead guy, John Richardson, has striking blue eyes and is one handsome son of a gun. A few other men are easy on the eyes too but most are rough and borderline feral. The men are also similarly dressed, and I swear we get more butt shots of them than Raquel throughout the movie. My point is, this aspect is fairly realistic and equal. Realism of course is not a major plot device here. But that's okay. The stop-motion dinosaurs and beasts are phenomenal especially given the time, and even after 4k restoration. The decision to do away with an English script and use only grunts and the occasional made-up word or name was interesting, effective, and admirable. As with the occasional music, often utilizing rattlers and rocks to produce a sort of natural soundtrack; even if it can be a little annoying at times. And the movie does have quite a slow pace to it overall; had it been cut by a good 20min it would've been much more fun to digest.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

some really cool effects, funny puns, and an interesting concept can't quite save this from its flaws

[6/10 · 31 August 2022]

While not the biggest Elm Street fan, I do stand by that Freddy is easily the best villain of all those classic slashers. The creativity of his origins and abilities have always tickled my fancy, and they're refreshed in this sequel in really cool ways. The effects are all very grotesque and superbly crafted, many of which play a specific role for the characters involved. All the actors and actresses hold their own, except for the "lead," Patricia Arquette. Her horrific acting really took me out of it every time she was on screen; her frightened expressions were basically her trying not to laugh, she'd often break character just before the camera changed, l and her screams were even dubbed over. This combined with the dragging pacing in the third act undermined the potential of the movie for me.

The Perfect Storm (2000)

feels longer than it is, but isn't to say performances aren't great and once the thrills begin it's a consistent experience

[7/10 · 29 August 2022]

Forty-seven minutes is quite the wait for anything thrilling to happen, which isn't even storm related. But it's a great scene, and clearly with an animatronic mako shark from Deep Blue Sea (1999). Before that it's just an overlong series of character introductions and development. After, however, and we have a consistent adventure with great pacing. Even if you already know the outcome of the movie, as it is based on true events, it's still an engaging watch studded with solid performances. The ending is more or less wholesome and while arguably melodramatic I felt that it was appropriate and powerful.

Samaritan (I) (2022)

immensely boring; interesting premise is bogged down by an annoying kid who can't act and a terrible script

[5/10 · 29 August 2022]

As intriguing as the plot seemed, and as satisfying as it is to see Sylvester Stallone fit into a role, this was tedious to endure. With the exception of one fleeting fist fight, it takes an hour and three minutes to see Sylvester's character do any damage. In a 100min movie, that's pretty outrageous. Especially given the groundwork laid out in the intro, and the teasing of greater action throughout. The only saving grace, given the torture of witnessing Javon Walton try to act but successfully annoy you at the same time, is Pilou Asbæk. Have loved him in other movies, but neither he nor Sylvester could save this blunder. One slightly redeeming quality is a moment of unpredictability toward the end, but the climax that follows is still underwhelming given the bigger picture.

Revenge (I) (1990)

surprisingly engaging thriller with solid performances and writing

[7/10 · 29 August 2022]

Admittedly not my usual cup of tea, on paper anyway, but then again neither was China Moon (1997) which really surprised me. Also featuring the utterly beautiful Madeleine Stowe, this movie stars Kevin Costner who I've come to appreciate more and more in recent years. He is especially charismatic here, at least in the first half. In the second, he takes on a whole new demeanor which he delivers effectively. While I was expecting a run-of-the-mill romantic thriller, this one pulled no punches and I was really surprised/impressed with the turns it took. Not a film at first glance you'd expect Tony Scott to direct, but halfway through it clicked. My major gripe/disappointment would be a spoiler so I'll leave that vague, but a particular event toward the end was a surprise I appreciated. Would be an 8 if it wasn't for that major discrepancy.

Spiral (2021)

poorly acted mess with an unimposing villain; traps are creative and some twists are clever but at the cost of everything else

[5/10 · 28 August 2022]

Though I was never a big fan of the Saw franchise, I kind of got excited for this - hoping it would be more of an investigative approach to the series and at the same time getting to see Chris Rock tackle a solemn role. No, not really. For one, despite the cops and detectives, the movie still fixates on torture scenes; acting and script is so bad that you kinda look forward to the next kill, more so than usual. And two, Chris Rock really can't act; on top of that his role is slathered with random comedic one-liners, so it's hard to take him seriously. Added camera effects certainly don't help. The villain, meanwhile, sounds like a whiny teenager; they should've distorted his voice more. The final twist was clever in parts but predictable in others. And the abrupt ending, with no post-credit addition, felt like lazy writing.

The Terminal List (2022– )

more drama than action, but the action is gritty and satisfying; great performances from everyone involved

[8/10 · 28 August 2022]

I'm quite conflicted reviewing this series. On one hand I highly enjoyed the unexpected events and tension in the first few episodes especially. After that it became tediously formulaic and predictable - to an extent. The final twist is exposed in the last five minutes of the last episode, which I imagine was handled better in the book and less of a shock-factor manuever. Nonetheless the action scenes, although intermittent, were still more frequent and satisfying than other similar series these last few years (namely Jack Ryan and The Punisher). They were also gritty and realistic, although the final climax was a bit underwhelming to me. Performances especially by Chris Pratt, Taylor Kitsch, Jai Courtney, and Jeanne Tripplehorn were especially gripping. However the consistent use of drawn out flashbacks became tiring fast; bluntly put, we feel for the main character and the loss of his family by default, as we're human. Constantly thrusting that element of empathy into our faces feels forced and trite. All of my gripes considered I'm closer to a 7 than an 8 but in acknowledging what they were aiming to do, and the effectiveness of the big picture, it deserves its due credit.

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

great new origin story with good casting, especially Andrew Garfield, some fun action and palpable drama

[8/10 · 21 August 2022]

I won't go into comparing this iteration with others within the Spider-Man movies, except to say that Andrew Garfield is easily my second favorite Peter Parker if not tied for first. I just think he's an excellent actor and anyone who disagrees should dive into Silence (2016) and Hacksaw Ridge (2016). Anyway, he's splendid in this, exuding both humor and drama seamlessly. Rhys Ifans as Curt Connors is also great, especially as his character metastisizes. The CGI for the Lizard is done very well and I just loved his/its scenes. They add a very animalistic, borderline horror element that most superhero villains don't have. And while the movie takes a little over an hour to really showcase Parker as Spider-Man, it never feels like it drags or bores.

Man of Steel (2013)

Cavill is superb, supporting performances are great, but production and cinematography seal the win

[9/10 · 20 August 2022]

To this day I recall how phenomenal and chills-inducing the original teaser trailer was. What we got was everything promised and more. Russell Crowe as Superman's father was excellent, and foremost I must say that the script was amazing. Michael Shannon as Zod was awesome to the very end, and Henry Cavill was simply incredible in such a role, powerfully eliciting various emotions all while being easy on the eyes. The interspersed flashbacks were done very well. Music was great. Produced by Christopher Nolan? Clearly. The film is gorgeous but has this gritty, dramatic overtone that, when paired with certain cinematographic moments, have the potential of triggering chills or, with me personally, even tears. And I'm not a major Superman fan! With all my praise, the only real gripe I had with the movie was, ironically, most (but not all) of the action; when Superman fought Zod and co, it was a mess of flying and zipping through the air or buildings. Between headache-inducing and monotonous to watch. Which I think goes to show just how impactful of an origin story this was.

Central Intelligence (2016)

funny to a fault, a little above average given the actors' chemistry and some fun action

[7/10 · 15 August 2022]

While extremely predictable and laden with cliché moments even for a comedy, it's never boring or too tedious. Some things feel like they go on longer than necessary, but it's not overwhelming. The attempt to make an action comedy with a decent plot is respectable, even if the "twists" are run-of-the-mill. Both Dwayne and Kevin have their particularly laugh-out-loud scenes, which is also a compliment to the writer, although there are still quite a few cringe lines too. Dwayne's character in particular has a lot of variety to offer, being goofier than even his goofiest roles. The action itself at least is well scripted and fun, the casting is great from Jason Bateman to Aaron Paul, Amy Ryan and Danielle Nicolet were solid fits too, and the music selection on point. A decently fun time to spend 90min, especially with the outtakes attached during the credits.

Angel of Mine (2019)

suspenseful and emotional to say the least, excellent performances; great filmmaking, enjoyed way more than anticipated

[9/10 · 14 August 2022]

If it wasn't for the synopsis, I'd have been quite lost for the first half of the movie. Not that that's a bad thing. The way the events are laid out, how things are explained (or not) is very refreshing. There's no flood of exposition or forced dialogue to elucidate the past. Things just come together gradually and it's a great filmmaking technique. Noomi is phenomenal, as she often is; I honestly gave this a watch solely because of her and Luke Evans, though unfortunately Luke is only in it for five or ten minutes at the most. He's still great, and Yvonne Strahovski was excellent. The majority of the movie is spent being uncomfortable, awkward, and varying degrees of intense, pulling you in different directions, while offering an openness to feel or believe however you wish. The ending thrusted my initial high 7 or low 8 to a solid 9, and although it had its slow moments I was never not engrossed, and enjoyed it far more than expected.

The Nightingale (I) (2018)

powerful emotions and a harrowing experience in the first half; second falls apart as things are drawn out unnecessarily

[7/10 · 11 August 2022]

This would've been an easy 9 if it ended at the 70 or 80min mark. Instead it's dragged through the mud, repeating the same old, such as uneventful walking and redundant closeups of faces. Irrational decisions both by characters and the director occur that sap the film of its momentum; some events are shown as if thrown into the script last minute. However I'd consider the first half an exceptionally powerful experience, brilliantly acted on all fronts and exposing atrocities that you might not have known existed. The plot isn't anything outlandish, although certain things that happen along the way seem extremely theatrical and scripted, namely in the second half. Some of them despite this are still engrossing, in a horrid way. But a shame the movie had to take that shock-factor art house approach midway through.

Prey (I) (2022)

great pacing and good action, very bloody, offers some new takes on a tired franchise, but characters are meh and tension obsolete

[7/10 · 8 August 2022]

As a huge Predator fan, I was simultaneously excited for and afraid of this release. Afraid that it would blunder like its last two predecessors, although I did enjoy them to some extent. I was quickly surprised, pleasantly, by the immediacy of seeing the Predator, albeit not in its entirety. We get teased with his presence in various clever ways, and the effects are great, so that keeps the pacing consistent. I was never really bored during the movie, but some of the action - especially the climax - occurs in poor lighting and jerky cinematography impairs what could've been a great sequence. The different ways in which attacks or kills are handled is quite refreshing, though, right up to the end. Predictable, sure, but fun. Suspense is hardly present given some assumptions from the beginning, and although two franchise quips/lines were repeated, it wasn't too cringe. Acting was good but I couldn't connect with Naru at all; Taabe was probably my favorite. There is one tie-in to Predator 2, but aside from that they did a great job at innovating with the Yautja and offering new things to keep the axtion fresh. Oh, and did I mention bloody? Yeah, definitely Rated R. Grateful for that.