Reviews

27 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
High Life (2018)
3/10
Indie-clichés cripple this ugly bore of a movie
14 July 2021
High Life features a somewhat interesting premise and is ultimately bogged down by many indie film clichés that unfortunately all work out in the worst possible way.

The most aggrivating thing about the film by auteuresse Claire Denis is its sluggish pace, which shows in many different ways: Scenes continue for too long and are dragged out by drowsy, listless performances. Given, the sedation of the space ships inmates is a valid plot point that is addressed and in context makes some sense, but is it really worth it if that means that each scene feels like you are watching it in slow-motion? The pace is further disturbed and hindered by completely needless time-jumps, that add next to nothing to building tension or creating an intriguing narrative and instead make the film move even slower. One of the most painful scenes is happening about two thirds into the movie, when Juliette Binoche's wicked fertility doctor increases the sedative in the crew's water and the acting therefore becoming even more slurred and bored from there on.

The sound mix does not help as it decides to make the often mumbled, whispered lines often inaudible, even though there is barely a score to hide them behind. It is a very regrettable choice for what interesting bits High Life has to offer, they are almost entirely delivered in the odd, meaningful, ominous line here and there and very rarely presented visually.

Which introduces the next problem: The film is not a looker at all, which is a shame considering what other low-budget movies managed to get out of a sci-fi setting by actually using creativity and craftsmanship to counter the lack of grandiose CGI (e.g. Prospect) . But High Life features one of the least inspired and frankly ugliest set designs in the recent years, with a ship looking like a rusty Lego brick, suits that seem to have been fabricated by sewing rags together and sparse use of tech that looks like it was just ordered off Amazon for a few hundred bucks and thrown in the shot entirely without dressing up. Granted, the rag-tag ambience is a deliberate choice, but how unique and interesting are the gadgets that the inmates in the movie are clobbering together going to look, if everything else looks the same?

Apart from shortcomings stemming from the limited budget and the poor artistic choices, what eventually undoes High Life in its entirety is the nonsensical plot, that deals with prisoners being shot into space to somehow retrieve information on alternative energy sources from a black hole. How? We don't really get to know. Why these specific people? We don't get to know that either. And in combination with a ludicrous plot about artificial insemination that is forced upon the inmates by yet another inmate the film just crumbles apart. The power structure within the ship's crew makes no sense and should fall apart from the get-go. For unexplained reasons everybody maintains the cruel and absurd goings-on until the logical meltdown is somehow played as a cathartic happening.

The best thing about High Life are the performances by Binoche, whose disturbed and broken doctor persona keeps you interested as you never quite know how tight her power-grip is and how far she can and is willing to push her cruel experiments. Pattinson is solid, if a bit one-dimensional. The breakout performance is clearly delivered by Mia Goth who plays Boyse, a fretful but fierce wild-child who makes fickle alliances with different characters to benefit her goals that - besides her survival - are never fully formed.

In the end, High Life is utterly unenjoyable and never manages to lift the interesting premise above what it is - instead showing shortcomings on almost all levels, from narration to direction.
4 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Vanishing (1988)
6/10
Plot holes lessen the experience
21 October 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The Vanishing was a critical success from the very beginning, earning the leading lady an award and spawning a Hollywood remake. Maybe time has taken its toll on the viewing experience of Sluizer's movie, because when I rented and watched it last night, I was not very impressed. The premise of the movie is still interesting enough and, although a little rough around the edges, the cinematography and direction is well crafted.

The story of a man who becomes obsessed with uncovering what happened to his girlfriend after she vanished from a gas station three years ago is told effectively and uses a goal driven narrative to makes the viewer identify with the protagonist. Just as Rex becomes more and more determined to find out what happened, while the loving feelings for the girl are long gone, so are we. The kidnapper taunts Rex and the audience by promising answers but only if we let him stay in control.

But ultimately I found the movie terribly flawed through major plot holes and was left a bit baffled by the amazing ratings it got. If Rex kept getting post cards and letters from the kidnapper, why did he not go to the police and shared those messages? Surely that would have helped hunting down the bad guy. And swallowing the sleeping pill is, hands down, one of the craziest, stupidest things I've ever seen in a scary movie. Especially since the kidnapper keeps phrasing his promises of revelation as if he was going to kill Rex. I understand Rex's obsession, but at this point the movie lost me and I detached myself from the protagonist. And last but not least: The bad guy gets away with burying Rex alive. How insane is that? He drove through three countries with the guy in the car, passed two borders, had stopovers and was even stopped by a police car. And after Rex goes missing nobody has a clue where he went? Having the movie end on that note was a total let-down. It's especially disappointing because the movie refrained from giving the audience a happy ending, which is rare and should be encouraged. But I would have preferred a good happy end to a bad sad ending.
3 out of 10 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
V/H/S (2012)
3/10
Relying almost exclusively on jumpscares V/H/S is less entertaining than a lot of self made youtube videos
12 September 2012
Anthologies are always hard to pull off, if you want to do it right. In most of them the quality of the different segments varies greatly and you only get to enjoy fragments of the movie while the project in its entirety fails to connect with the viewer. That is even more the case when the anthology is supposed to be tied together by another story arc that provides a decent beginning and ending while connecting each story to one another.

V/H/S does not have this aspiration at all. The setup couldn't be more straight forward: A few guys are breaking into a house to steal an ominous video tape. They find a huge pile of tapes and proceed to watch all of them to find out which one they are supposed to get. As nonsensical as that sounds, it provides a good explanation to what you are going to watch in the following 90 minutes: shaky hand-held horror.

V/H/S presents five "spooky" tapes (not including the beginning and the end) which at best make you twitch because they rely almost exclusively on jump scares. Where they don't they make absolutely no sense, are boring, uninspired and staged by terrible actors. The biggest disappointment is that none of the stories have a shred of originality in them. They all seem like cheap copies from the bottom of the creepypasta barrel. In fact the only thing missing was somebody screaming BUT WHO WAS PHONE?! after the credits had run through.

All in all V/H/S is a huge letdown and does not justify any amount of money being spent on it.
10 out of 21 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Lockout (2012)
4/10
A poor man's "Escpae from New York"
6 July 2012
The premise of "Lockout" is nothing spectacular and not even particularly creative but has potential enough to deliver something good. With a plot that takes more than "inspiration" from John Carpenter's "Escape from New York"-story, "Lockout" could have been a great mix between a claustrophobic thriller and a 80's style action flick with an ultra cool anti-hero. Guy Pearce does the best he can to make "Snow" a memorable character. But even though Pearce is a great actor and his timing is impeccable, his dialog including the endless amount of one-liners is so poorly written that Snow never becomes a credible bad-ass hero character like his idol Snake Plissken. The movie suffers from its corny dialog and numerous plot holes and towards the end completely falls apart as it is not even delivering shitty conclusions for its plot points but simply abandons most of them. Maggie Grace is the final nail in the coffin. Rarely have I seen a performance delivered with less blood and passion in it. All in all "Lockout" is a disappointment because it could have been way better and did not fail because of its limited budget but because of its limited script.
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Tintin is not and never was Indiana Jones
4 March 2012
"The Adventures of Tintin" starts out strong and quickly loses story, logic and heart in a plethora of over the top action sequences that feel so incredibly close to Indiana Jones that one might start to think Spielberg wanted to make up for the disastrous "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull".

That first half an hour of "Tintin" stays very close to the comic book and that's when the movie is strongest. The CG animation is absolutely gorgeous and the transition of Hergés drawing to the big screen is a success.

But as the movie progresses it gains speed and loses almost everything else. And that's not because Spielberg decided to blend different stories to one adventure. If that's the only thing he'd have done, we'd still be left with plenty of Hergé's brilliant stories and witty dialogue. It's because Spielberg cannot help himself and drowns the movie in big setpiece action sequences which are either ludicrous, or feel like they belong in an Indiana Jones movie. (In one case Spielberg actually uses an action sequence that was scrapped from "Raiders"). John Williams' score does not help at all, because it too borrows heavily from his own compositions for the Indy movies.

Spielberg doesn't stop at that. Haddock's memories of his grandfather and Reckham the Red are presented visually and in full detail. And what Haddock remembers has nothing to do with captains, ships and pirates but instead feels like a copy of the overblown sea battle in the third "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.

All in all "The Adventures of Tintin" is too loud, fast and grand. It lost the beauty and cleverness of the comics and feels like it was made for an action-hungry ten year old Transformers fan instead of a fan of the comics.
2 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Young Adult (2011)
6/10
Interesting but feels unfinished and leaves you slightly disappointed
3 March 2012
"Young Adult" is the second collaboration of Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody after the hilarious and heart warming "Juno". And like both Cody's and Reitman's last efforts it leaves a bit to be desired. For Cody it is at least a bit of a step up from the abysmally bad "Jennifer's Body". For Reitman it fits right in with the underwhelming "Up in the Air" that always had that last punch missing and left a bit of a stale aftertaste. In "Young Adult" Charlize Theron plays a shallow and self centered but emotionally damaged teen novel writer, who goes back to her old home town to get back together with her old high school sweetheart who is happily married and just became a father. The film follows Theron's character for a couple of days and delves into the scars that she and several old high school 'friends' gave and received and the people they became afterwards. Although the film is very well acted, especially Theron and Oswald have great 'textual' chemistry, it never really fully takes off and that's because Cody's script, although funny and original, is extremely low on character development. How Theron's character became what she is now is never explained and everything that happened between high school and the present is only ever hinted at and does not really make that much sense. Same can be said about several minor roles who are quirky and weird but for what purpose we never know. It almost seems like the script was never fully developed and what was filmed in the end was actually more a treatment than a finished screenplay. Nonetheless, the movie is worth a watch, even if it's just for Charlize Theron being a complete bitch and Patton Oswald being a hilarious loser.
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
7/10
An emotional thriller not without flaws
14 February 2012
"We need to talk about Kevin" is an uncomfortable and disturbing film about a mother-son relationship that stays with you after watching it but is sometimes too vague and suffers from too much editing.

I haven't read Lionel Shriver's novel and thus cannot evaluate Ramsay's approach in terms of faithfulness to the source material. Nonetheless "Kevin" is a success on many levels. Ramsay refrains from using clichés to establish Kevin's character and instead focuses on the complicated relationship between the (severely) disturbed son and his overchallanged mother. Tilda Swinton once more delivers an exceptional performance. I sympathized with her as I watched her getting no love and recognition for her efforts in raising the kid and could understand her building frustration, anger and even hatred when it gets clearer and clearer that her son does everything in his power to undermine her and manipulate those around her.

However, a couple of this bothered me about this, otherwise very well crafted, movie. The editing feels contrived as it mixes past, presence and future too violently and without explicit reason. It takes away from the impact of the building disaster and almost feels like it was installed to distract. A couple of plot points in the movie were left too vague and could have been made clearer while at the same time the mother's story after the catastrophe could have been trimmed down a little. The mother-son relationship should have been put even more into focus instead of focusing on the character of the mom alone. Lastly I found John C. Reilly (whom I adore as an actor) miscast. His role is underdeveloped (for a reason) and you cannot help but expect something more from him. He is underchallanged and could have been replaced by a lot of faceless, or at least less talented actors.

All in all, "Kevin" is still a good and powerful movie, that will touch you, most likely disturb you and if you are young and are thinking about having kids, will make you think twice.
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Hysteria (2011)
7/10
A great English comedy
14 February 2012
I watched "Hysteria as a sneak preview and, having no idea what to expect, I was pleasantly surprised. Both Dancy and Gyllenhaal refrain from playing their, somewhat stereotypical, roles over the top and the script is intelligent enough to build a strong relationship plot around the already interesting subject of the invention of the dildo. The subject is also interpreted in an entertaining way and not simply used as a gimmick, which happens quite a bit in these period pieces that feature a certain historical event. The comedic pacing is refreshing, tasteful and does not feel cheap which is impressive if you consider that some of the biggest laughs stem from scenes that depict the masturbation of middle aged women. All in all "Hysteria" is a fun movie, with good actors, a good story and, if that's important for you, a great happy end.
61 out of 74 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
7/10
No plot structure but Murray is a fantastic Thompson
14 February 2012
I have been a fan of Thompson as a writer and person for at least ten years now and read most of his books and articles as well as a couple of books about him. Thompson's life- and writing style is, if anything, unique and a movie about him that features a structured and clear plot would go completely against what defined Thompson. Having said that I will admit that "Buffalo" seems fractured and does not have a definite beginning and ending, but Murray captures a lot of Thompson's mannerisms and the episodes the movie is composed around are all interesting and fun to watch. All in all I would say that the movie is a success as it keeps the audience entertained and adapts Thompson's writing style adequately. If you are interested in Thompson and like Bill Murray as an actor, "Buffalo" will be right up your alley and a comparison with Gilliam's "Fear and Loathing" is interesting, especially when you've already watched the real Thompson in one of the documentaries.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
200 million dollars seldomly felt more boring on a big screen.
22 August 2010
Trying hard to create another blockbuster-franchise, Bruckheimer and Disney fail to deliver the fun and exciting ride that was "Pirates of the Caribbean" and instead present a bland and uninspired flick that suffers from a patchy script, a detached protagonist, and a director who clearly lacks vision.

Jake Gyllenhaal is one of the biggest miscasts I have ever experienced in cinema. His clumsy and awkward interpretation of a swashbuckling, smooth-talking rough-rider is, at times, painful to watch. Every single mimic is an anxious and unconvincing copy of Harrison Ford's "Indiana Jones" and Gyllenhaals impressive physique only makes it more obvious that every bit of muscle was packed on to disguise a sensitive, shy and slightly awkward person as an action hero. It does not work, at all.

The script feels like it went through multiple re-writes of multiple authors. The bumpy story-telling and the many plot-holes suggest that either the film was changed (most probably shortened) significantly in post-production to put more focus on the action sequences or that whatever the story arcs had been originally was lost during extensive and multiple rewrite-sessions. Not only is there no character-development in either of the two main characters, their motivation and emotional status changes so rapidly and often between two scenes that the audience is most likely to give up caring about the people in the movie and concentrate on the beautiful set-pieces and well-choreographed stunts. One moment Gemma Artetons "Tamina" wants to kill Prince Dastan, 20 seconds later she is angry about him leaving her in the desert. One moment Tamina hates Dastan and his family for invading Alamut, a few seconds later she helps him to escape. It is confusing. And one more word to the premise of the story: whoever felt it necessary to include an end-of-the-world scenario into the story should be severely punished. It feels so horribly constructed and out of place that anybody with a talent for writing should have noticed it as soon as was written down.

All in all director Mike Newell was incapable to create a "whole" from the mix between an Arabian Nights story, well crafted action, romance and the occasional funny moments and one liners. The film is flawed on so many levels that the albeit properly worked out bits and pieces almost never connect to what could have been so much better.

Seldom did 200 million dollars feel more boring on a big screen.
0 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Doomsday (I) (2008)
6/10
Terrific Trash Flick
9 July 2010
With Doomsday, Neil Marshall pays a grand homage to a multitude of apocalyptic sci-fi and action movies of the 80s and 90s. The movie, although sporting a run-of-the-mill script, almost works as a clip-show or best-of reel of movies like "Escape from New York", "Mad Max - The Road Warrior", "Aliens", "Resident Evil", "Army of Darkness", and even "28 Days Later". Amazingly, Marshall manages to tie all this up into an explosive and fast paced action- shocker that actually works quite well.

The storyline is pretty much a combination of John Carpenter's "Escape" and whatever zombie-quarantine movie you favor: a horrible flesh-eating virus breaks out in Scotland. Nobody knows a cure for it, so they simply pull up a wall, shutting off Scotland from the rest of the world. A young mother is not allowed on the last helicopter out but manages to get her little daughter on the chopper after the kid has had its eye shot out. Some years later, that kid is now a smoking hot woman named Eden Sinclair (Mitra) with a bionic eye, keeping the streets of London clean from the future scum. When the virus flares up again, she is sent back into the quarantine zone, formerly known as Scotland. It turns out that the government has kept it secret, that there are traces of survivors in the fenced-in territorial. Now they assume, that on the inside, a scientist named Dr. Kane has found a cure for the virus. Sinclair gets 46 hours to retrieve the vaccine.

What awaits her inside is a tour-de-force trip through almost every decade there has ever been an action movie set in. We get armored knights in arena fights, spiky haired punks with chainsaws and clubs, futuristic guns and combat suits, and one of the most amazing car chases involving a Bentley ever made. Despite all the gore and violence, the movie does not take itself too serious and allows the viewer to play "name the source-movie" almost through the entire flick. Stylistically, Marshall borrows mostly from Carpenter and Miller (he even names two soldiers after them) but almost always manages to pull it off in good taste. For example: the score resembles Carpenter's monotonous compositions so perfectly, that it feels like it's been taken directly out of one of his movies. Whenever the viewer has gotten used to a certain vibe, Marshall throws in something outrageous, like an 80s music dance choreography, which in return completely trips up the audience.

Having said all that, "Doomsday" is certainly not for everybody. It's loud and it's stupid. People who do not appreciate the iconic genre-movies Marshall idolizes and used as (obvious) inspiration, will most likely not appreciate this one either, and even if they do, they might find the way Marshall spliced the aspects together slanderous and clumsy. Everybody else will probably have a fun ride if they are not too squeamish and don't mind to watch a cute little bunny being pulverized by an automatic machine gun. "Doomsday" has what it takes to become a cult classic.
2 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
Abysmal
5 July 2010
I've always been a fan of Carpenter's original classic but beyond the first part I've never been very interested in the franchise. Sure, I've seen some sequel or the other on the small screen, even rented the remake a while ago, but the whole "Michael Myers-Universe" never did much for me. So, when I saw this flick last night, the pre-known fact that Michael would not be in it, that "Season of the Witch" actually has nothing to do whatsoever with the rest of the canon, it did not matter to me.

What did was an abysmally bad performance by every single actor (with the exception of maybe O'Herlihy), a ludicrous screenplay that goes absolutely nowhere and falls apart between black magic, gimmicks and robot zombie businessmen and the worst editing I've ever experienced in my entire life. Nothing in this movie works or makes sense. At best it is mildly amusing for the enormous plot holes and the almost comically bad acting. The male and the female lead have sex, although there is neither a romantic, nor a sexual build-up of tension. Stylewise Wallace "borrows" exclusively from mentor Carpenter, so he never develops his own style but regurgitates a washed-out version of everything his master is known for (anamorphic camera, still shots of people standing put, anti-hero lead). Especially the open end, something I often enjoyed in Carpenter's oeuvre, is beyond good and evil. It's so sad and such a painfully obvious evidence for the director's cluelessness that it renders the movie almost unwatchable. And don't get me started on the power drill-scene or the "showdown"-fight with the zombie-robot-chick - lousy.

The only cool thing about it is Carpenter's synth-music, which is subtle and nice to listen to. The movie itself is an abomination and can only be enjoyed for its accidentally comical scenes. Shame on everybody who worked on this nasty piece of entertainment.
3 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
3/10
Retarded
19 June 2010
Who writes these movies? Who watches them? Who the heck LIKES them? It's completely beyond me how you can rate this movie better than three stars. It's as logical as Kick Ass and tries so hard to be a serious courtroom/political thriller that it makes me want to laugh out loud at every second scene. Is that really how the target audience thinks the American justice system works? As an educated European I find this flick as bogus and over the top as... actually comparisons fail me. The script seems like it's been written by a staff writer for the new Masters of the Universe animated series. If I'd payed only a cent to watch this crap, I'd probably blow myself up with a rigged iphone. Sh!t movie!
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Not worth your time
11 January 2010
For anybody who wants to know more about the motifs and the active protest of the RAF this movie is clearly the wrong choice. It is a botchy, clumsy and annoying two and a half hours of exploding cars and a god awful portrayal of Andreas Baader who looks like a lunatic without any plan or vision. Random introduction of new people who are in cahoots with the RAF makes both their actions and the film look chaotic, therefore the whole piece is not even enjoyable for those who do not want a history lesson but merely a decent political thriller. The fact that Eichinger deliberately chose to make the movie seem incoherent, as the book it is based on uses the same technique (he called it "Fetzendramaturgie") does not make it any better. The film does not inform, nor does it entertain. Thus it is a failure.
10 out of 19 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
8/10
The Essence of Childhood
5 December 2009
Spike Jonzes interpretation of "Where the Wild Things Are" is a heartfelt film that captures the essence of what childhood means and the way a kid, in this case the nine year old Max, feels and perceives the world. Jonze refrains from forcing a conventional story-structure upon Sendraks wonderful and magical trip and instead focuses solely on feelings.

The desperation and loneliness of a child that just begins to try and understand the complicated world of the grownups are as perfectly captured and reenacted by the personalities of the wild things as are the feelings of joy, excitement and playfulness, the very feelings that nobody will never experience for a second time and are reserved for the kids when they discover the world they have been born into for the first time.

Max Records gives a splendid performance as little boy Max and helps as much to make the gigantic wild things real than the superb computer techniques, if not more. Opinions about Jonzes film are going both ways in the forum and to some degree I can understand the often stated critique, that only people who want to like this movie are able to do so. It is probably true that to appreciate what Jonze did with Sendraks book one has to want to see the beauty in it, even in the sad and melancholic direction that "Where the Wild Things Are" often takes. Because just like the film, Sendraks book is not one of those happy and careless books for children that pleases simply with colors, monsters and a happy end, but rather a bittersweet take on a children's way to cope with the problems and tasks of the 'real world' that all too soon become what life revolves around.

For those who have not yet forgotten what it was to be a kid, how it felt like to build forts in the snow, how it felt like to be yelled at, how it felt like to know exactly what one is supposed do and do exactly the opposite and for those who remember how to roar like a real wild thing, for them this film was made.
2 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Dead Silence (2007)
3/10
Go watch the film with Mary Shaw, but check your standards at the door
29 August 2008
There are certainly worse movies than "dead silence" out there. i'm thinking along the lines of "the ring 2" or the American grudge flicks. but boy, mary shaw does not produce one good scare. i mean, it is certainly creepy if you see her deceased face for the first time, but did they really think that it could carry the whole movie? on top of that, the screen writing is way below average. the protagonist does the weirdest stunts without any explanation. why would he climb that weird stage scaffolding? just to see if he could survive it? why would he take that creepy doll with him, seat it neatly on a chair while he sleeps, or let it ride shotgun in his car wherever he goes? what kind of a joke is donnie wahlberg's detective supposed to be? was his electric razor thing that he had going on supposed to be funny? oh, by the way: what a cheap way to rip off stephen king's pennywise. for no apparent reason he has found his way into this movie as well. one word for the two saw-people, who got this film made for one single reason, a booming franchise: LAME!
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
3/10
An overall disappointing Sequel
23 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I have been a huge fan of Indiana Jones since i was a little kid. I watched the movies when i was around 9 years old and have watched them over and over again many times after that. I even got into these god awful books when i was a little older, written by Rob MacGregor and Wolfgang Hohlbein and so on, dealing with Indy and Stonehenge, the Easter Islands, the Oracle of Delphi and so on. Since i am a bit older now, 25, i am not a fanatic anymore, but i still love the trilogy dearly and was very impressed with the DVD box release. You can understand that i was pretty excited about this movie being made and went to the movies yesterday with a lot of anticipation. Everybody knows that anticipation can be a very dangerous thing. So dangerous in fact that George Lucas felt obligated to say in an interview that people should not expect too much. It was just a movie. Anyway, i didn't go to the cinema to see how they managed to mess it up. I wanted it to be good. Really, really good! Although i liked the opening scene, capturing both the decade the movie plays in and the Indy-feeling with a trek through the desert, i pretty much knew that i would not be exalted in the end about 15 minutes into the film. Call me old fashioned, but after a 19 years hiatus between the last Indy-film and this one, i would have loved a cooler introduction to our hero, especially because they already gave the scene away in the trailer. I'm not gonna ramble about everything i disliked, but i feel that a couple of things that went really wrong have to be mentioned. I therefore will limit my nagging down to three points: 1. The Villains: At no point in the movie you get the feeling that the Russian army is on Indy's heels. It's merely a crazy Russian lady (Blanchet with her worst acting to date, and the most ridiculous fake accent since Costner in Robin Hood) who, for some unknown reason, thinks that she can read minds. The explanation of her, acting in Lenins name, or at least fulfilling his dream, is so unbelievable and forgettable, that she does never develop a real character and stays a shadowy figure till the end of the movie. Her handful of Russian soldiers and their honcho seem like a bunch of outcasts who have been expelled from Russia for believing in crap like a crystal skull. I don't even wanna mention Mac, the double-wobble-triple agent, who JUST WANTS SOME GOLD! 2. The team of heroes: Clearly wanting to copy the team of the last Indy-movie, this team lacks everything that their predecessors had. While the struggling between the generations worked due to an awesome performance by Connery and Ford, the choice of making Williams Indy's son was a bad one. All the cleverness that went into their teacher-student relation before their blood relationship was revealed is taken away instantly and the fatherly feelings, developing DURING an action scene, are just painful to watch. John Hurt goes home with the price for the most unnecessary character in the movie, babbling something that sounds awfully like a walkthrough guide through an adventure video game. And poor old Marion, being introduced in the last third of the movie, does not much more but being the chauffeur, yelling "Indy" to remind us what movie we are watching, and correcting her sons sword fight (wince!). 3. The script: I'm not even gonna try and point out the numerous flaws that this script has, but whereas the previous three Indy movies all used action sequences in order to get the story and Indy from point A to point B, the action in this one seems so arbitrary, not supporting the already weak plot (which is most certainly the worst thing in this Indy movie) at all. When nothing else goes, let's just put some wild natives in there, who live in sealed holes and are simply there to keep the pulse from becoming a flat line. If i had to pick a favorite part of the movie (out of introduction, plot and climax) i'd go for the introduction. Not that it is particularly great, but i rather watch Indiana Jones surviving an atom bomb, than leaving action scenes for LeBeoufs character to take over or watching an alien getting rid of the main villain before blasting of into "the space between spaces" (thanks for nothing, David Koepp). How Lucas, Spielberg and Marshall thought this screenplay to be acceptable is completely beyond me. How bad must the other ones have been then?

All in all, for me, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a disappointment. My girlfriend who never watched the other movies, enjoyed it pretty much, except from the alien plot line. So i'm not quite sure, how much of my bitterness derives from holding Indiana Jones' other adventures in such high regard.
4 out of 10 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Not at all impressed
5 February 2008
I'm really not fond of this movie. I watched it as a ten year old and i didn't like it then. Now I'm 24 and tonight i've watched it again and I still don't like it, except now I know why. Believe me, I am not the kinda guy that goes, *blergh* puppets, it's for children, or who does not appreciate visual artwork or a good fantasy story. I am a big fan of Labyrinth, which (obviously) shares visual components to The Dark Crystal. But unlike this one Labyrinth was witty, full of funny and interesting characters and plenty of good dialogue. Something that (imho) The Dark Crystal lacks completely. For a good part of the movie the dialogue seems made up on the spot, often you just hear grunts, howls or something similar. I understand that the movie is mainly about its visuals, but that does not justify the obvious lack of story and dialogue, which, when happening, is often very very flat and boring. A script suitable for minors (I'm thinking primary school) turned into a film for age 12+, for there are some scary characters in it i wouldn't want my (little) kid to watch. Oh, one other thing: I thought the Gelfling looked and sounded incredibly moronic. On the good side: The music by Trevor Jones is pretty awesome.
38 out of 68 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Silent Hill (2006)
7/10
Style VS Story
26 May 2006
Silent Hill is an above-average horror drama, which benefits from a magnificent visual style and shocking cgi effects and suffers from a mediocre story with sometimes ridiculously bad dialogue. what does roger avery intend to say if he is having the policewoman say "looks like there's been a fire here" when it's crystal clear that the whole damn town has been burnt and ashes is still flying through the air? the side story, which fails to deliver the plot, is so unbelievably unnecessary that you almost feel sorry for sean bean. and radha mitchells character is a joke, doing strange things at the wrong moments, changing moods every 5 minutes and delivering crappy one-liners (plus she's absolutely burning her hand with her zippo!). the story itself has it's up and downs, basically it's good enough to keep the audience entertained, although the ending again is a major yawn. if you have played the game (like I did) you'll be pleased with the music which is almost the same as in the games and with the visualization of the monsters and the town itself. the effects are a mixture between creepy and gory and the final battle scene is pretty hard to swallow. all in all this is a watchable horror movie, compared to most of the junk that flooded the market in the last 3 years. switch off your brain and enjoy the ride.
0 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
3/10
Forgettable
13 May 2005
After falling asleep in theatre while watching "oceans eleven" i was very sceptical towards the sequel, not only because the first one was pretty boring but also because i think of steven soderbergh as one of the most overrated directors in Hollywood history. but "twelve" got good press in Germany and my friends told me they liked it.... a few months later i'm renting the DVD. bad idea! "oceans twelve" has a laughable script (the fact that throughout most of the movie it's only background music, NO dialogue makes me suggest that it's about 50 pages) terrible lenghts and is edited so bad that you might think they did it on purpose. the julia roberts joke made me wanna hurl. 4 from 10 points. dismissed!
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6/10
Amitiville Horror works
23 April 2005
after the ring 2 disaster i was anxious that i would walk out of this one as disappointed as i was of ring 2. but that didn't happen. the remake of amitiville horror borrows a lot from kubrick's shining and although ryan reynolds is no jack nicholson (the fact that the last film i saw him in was that national lampoons college comedy didn't help with that) and andrew douglas is no stanley kubrick and therefore this movie is no shining, amitville horror works. the father drifting into madness is played well by reynolds, the famous fly-scene with the reverend is very entertaining and the little girl is frightening. the movie loses his drive in the end but till then it is worth seeing it. solid work. six of ten points.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Ring Two (2005)
1/10
holy macaroni
31 March 2005
in my relatively short life, i've seen loads, tons of movies. i've seen plenty good ones, really good ones, so that i became interested in movies. i've seen many so-sos and a lot of bad ones. but there are very few flicks which left me so aghast like this did. to say it in the words of terry, owner of "central perk": >it's not that it was bad. it is that it was so bad i wanna push my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.< i was going ballistic when i left the cinema. ehren kruger must have thought: hmm... the first one was one of the scariest films ever. celebration for me. let's see what happens if i barf into my pencil and send it to the ape-house. of course that never happened, 'cause apes don't write such ****ed up ****. nothing was scary in this movie. in fact it's like a friend of mine said: ring 2 is like the 60's batman-movies. you just don't buy any of the **** that happens. i cannot believe that nobody warned the people how ridiculously awful this movie would be. and the German press said that it would be better than part one. shame on them. shame on all of you who helped making this movie. above all, shame on ehren kruger. they should have let freddy kruger write the script instead. it would have been more fun. 0 out of 10 points
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
4/10
intolerably boring
3 November 2003
There isn't that much to say about this flick. I saw it, because of the Coen's and was disappointed to my very heart.

it's not just a lame Coen-Movie but it's plainly a one-and-a-half-hour bad film without any climax or red line. the directing is dull and without any coen-like black comedy scenes, the acting is just as bad as the movie. maybe clooney thinks that making faces is enough to make the audience laugh, but he's not jim carrey. zeta-jones has no charism at all. the only positive thing worth mentioning is billy bob thornton, which is hilarious in his role of a brainless oil-billionaire (Doyle, from Doyle-Oil). All in all the new Coen is boring and predictable and if that's their new style, they shouldn't make any new movies at all.
2 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Vampires (1998)
7/10
Best Carpenter ever!
8 June 2003
I simply cannot understand why people don't like this movie. Woods' acting is great, Kibbe's camera is smooth, it's gory, it has

some cool lines and carpenter's directing is just nice. Plus it has one of the most rocking and shocking soundtracks I've ever heard. Two thumbs up John!!!
0 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
5/10
Just too much
22 May 2003
Warning: Spoilers
(contains spoilers)

Knock knock Neo..... Man, I liked "The Matrix" a lot, not just because of the sterile style and the cool action-scenes but also because of the good script, which (what I read in secondary literature) was based on several books of big philosophers. In the final scene of part one you see Neo flying like Superman through the Matrix, and I thought "man, what a lame gag". Unfortunately the flying is all in all the only thing Neo does in "Matrix Reloaded" and the script is (with a few exceptions) pure crap. The idea of another Matrix in which Zeon exists which is only a higher security-level isn't that bad, but you cannot compensate a ten minutes dialogue of the oracle (which really doesn't make a sense) with 20 minutes non-stop-fighting. although the special-effects really kick ass, they get boring the longer you see it.

The fact that Neo saves Trinity from dying by massaging her heart IN her body is just too ridiculous. And the decorators? Oh god,please.... in Zeon everything is dark and metallic and kinda dirty, but no-o, the master-control-station is shiny-white and completely stolen from "Minority Report". I could ramble on with those things for pages and pages (for example: the 5 minutes raver-party scene? my, how bad!) but this might be kinda unfair. The movie has it's scenes and characters which are undoubtly cool, but that's it. That's really it. Watch "The Matrix", it's a good movie, but if you haven't seen "The Matrix Reloaded" I would wait 'till Revolution is in the cinemas. Maybe you have to see 2 and 3 in a row to realize that "Reloaded" isn't that bad.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
An error has occured. Please try again.

Recently Viewed