moviefan69 Reviews

Battlestar Galactica (2004–2009)

5 reasons why the new Battlestar Galactica stinks

[18 January 2005]

1. Making the Cylons human in appearance. Oh sure they show the robots. But making them creations of man, and showing them AS human is cheese. 2. Making Starbuck a girl. Sorry, but having this tough as nails, butch chick is laughable. Not only is is a bad idea, but the actress is terrible. Makes a bad idea worse. 3. Giving the characters "earth" names. Giving them names like William and Lee and making the original Galactica names call signs, makes this seem more like Star Trek. Like the culture is earth bound. Even the clothes that civilians wear in this thing look like they were picked off the rack at JCPenney 4. The spaceships firing bullets and missiles instead of lasers. Now we've sunk to the level of Wing Commander. That's pretty sad. 5. The show is absolutely NO FUN!!!! It subscribes to the current theory that all sci-fi has to be a deadly serious drama. This is fantasy! Lighten up! The original was light hearted, escapist, and adventurous. Like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, every kid wanted to be Apollo and Starbuck. It was wondrous. It was exciting. It had a sense of adventure with heroic figures fighting against evil. This new version with it's heavy handed drama, slow operatic music, overwrought dialog, and uninspired battle scenes, make this no fun to watch at all. In fact it's depressing. Give me the 70's version any day of the week. It's fun to watch, and that's why it endures to this day. $5 says that NO ONE will be watching this drivel 20 years from now.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

A triumph of the horror/comedy genre.

[26 September 2004]

Not since An American Werewolf In London has there been a movie so successful in this genre. Not only a great homage to the classic Living Dead movies, but a flat out hilarious movie to boot. This is not Resident Evil. Resident Evil is a video game. Even in film form, it's a video game, not a zombie movie. Not to say RE isn't entertaining in it's own right, but Shaun Of The Dead stands proud with the few movies that can make you scream and laugh in the same minute. This is destined to be a cult classic. One of the greatest scenes is Shaun walking through town on his daily routine not realizing he is surrounded by zombies. He just doesn't notice. It really does look at this situation from your everyman point of view. What if this did happen? Would you be ready with a plan? Would you have the stuff to survive? Where would you go? What would you eat? Where would you get BEER? For fans of the genre, this movie has it all. Scares, gore, laughs. What more could you ask for? Want a line up of great zombie comedies? It's a short list, but with a case of beer, a stack of pizzas, and your best buddies, it will be fun times for all. Here ya go, check out Shaun Of The Dead, Return Of The Living Dead, and the incredibly obscure but tremendously entertaining Night Of The Creeps.

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

As by-the-numbers as it gets

[12 September 2004]

There is not one single original moment in this movie. We've seen it all countless times before. The setting, they story, even the anaconda attacks themselves, are clichés older than the actors in the film. That brings me to the harshest point of criticism on this film. I feel sorry for the actors. Every single character in this movie is a cliché. Some of them insultingly bad. We have the greedy corporate type, the bickering man and woman who will eventually sleep together, the filler characters who serve no purpose other than to be eaten, and worst of all, the token black comic relief character. Here is a character so annoying that you know he won't be killed because he's "funny". He runs around spouting street saying like "Dat's what I'm talking' 'bout!" and "You da bomb!" at presice moments that are supposed to inspire laughter and yet make you sick to your stomach. It's an insultingly degrading character that you would think the black community would petition an immediate halt to this kind of character. There is also a character that is way to obviously inspired by Han Solo. He's the ship captain for hire. See if you catch the silmilarities here. When our intrepid group sees their captain's ship for the first time, they are reviled at what a wreck it is. Our dashing captain proudly points out, "Yeah she's ugly, but she puts out." Does this sound at all like "She not look like much, but she's got it where it counts"? Or is it just me? He also travels with his own monkey. When this monkey was introduced I was prepared to find out his name was Chewie. But no, it's Kong. Another original. So you can pretty much pick out who will live, who will die, when the anacondas will strike, and when our comic relief character will spout another "funny" street saying in over excited manner. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE cheesy monster movies. But when I feel like I'm watching a live version of the game connect-the-dots, I want my money back.

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

GREAT MIXING OF THE FRANCHISES

[8/10 · 14 August 2004]

As a fan of both series I can say that this was an excellent way to combine them. My biggest fear was that the PG-13 rating would hurt the movie, but it doesn't. Not in the least. I know a lot of people want to see the violent eruption of the Alien chestburster in all its' gory glory. Here, of course, it's done off camera. But director John Carpenter once said, "Everyone knows what a man with a knife is going to do. You don't need to see it." So since we've seen the alien burst, and seen the Predator slash, we're not missing anything if we don't see it here. Besides I'm sure it will be on the unrated director's cut DVD. My only complaint is that the movie is too short. Barely 90 minutes. I wanted more! But what I got I was happy with. Great visuals. The movie is thick with atmosphere. Great action. That's what you go to this movie for right? To see the Alien and Predator throw down? Well it's here and then some. Plus you get good tension very reminicent of the first two Alien films. While the dialog is, admittedly, very flat sometimes, the actors do fine. Sanaa Lathan is not Sigourney Weaver, but her character is firmly in control, and can kick Alien ass with the best of them. *SPOILER AHEAD* Her final confrontation with the Alien Queen is excellent. *END SPOILER* Lance Henrickson is a nice addition to link the series up, and his characters' nod to his ALIENS character is sly and hilarious. The rest of the characters are kind of stock, but the actors do well. Let's face it, we've seen enough of these movies to know who's going to get it and who's not. Let's not kid ourselves or berate the movie just because we're geek enough to know these things. Hell, when one character shows off a picture of his kids, I said to myself "He's gonna get it first", and low and behold....So if you want a tense, fast paced, action packed movie featuring two of the greates monsters in cinema history, plunk down your money, grab your popcorn, and have a good time. And guys, it's a great date movie if your girl scares easy. :)

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

A great companion to BASEketball!!!

[27 June 2004]

Dodgeball is a great sports comedy. If you can call dodgeball a sport. When you make a movie about the big spectator sports like baseball and football, there's only so far you can go because you have to stay withing the widely recognized rules of the game. When you have something like dodgeball you can go hog wild, because the event itself is already so over the top. Vince Vaughn is great as the too-nice-for-his-own-good owner of a small time gym that is, unfortunately, located directly across the street from Ben Stiller's Globe Gym wannabe. In an effort to save his business, he signs himself, and some of his regulars up in a dodgeball tournament to win enough money to get out of debt. Well Stiller's character will have none of that, and signs up his own team to stop them. There you go. That's the plot. It's as deep as a mouse's grave. The movie lives on the charm of it's two leads. Fortunately, Vaughn and Stiller are more than up to the challenge. Vaughn plays it relatively straight, but sneaking in the snide one liners with a smoothness that would make the like of Bill Murray and Chevy Chase proud. Stiller gives a severely over the top performance that perfectly fits the over the top character. If I had to say something negative about his performance, it's only that it's basically the same performance he gave as the demented, fitness crazed leader of a fat kids camp in the Dusney movie "Heavyweights". But he was so good there, I liked seeing a revisit of that character. Rip Torn is great as the old time dodgeball player whose coaching style will have you doubled over laughing. Chritine Taylor doesn't have much to do but look hot. But she's DAMN good at it. You are one lucky man Ben Stiller. Then there are the dodgeball games themselves. There are more than enough vicious hits, beanings, and low blows to have the audiences rolling in pain and laughter. Is it low brow humor? Of course. So when it comes on DVD, get your buddies together, get the chips, tap the keg, and set down with a double feature of this and BASEketball, and have a great old time.

Salem's Lot (2004)

OK, but can't compare to the original

[23 June 2004]

Having never read the book, I can't say which filmed version is more loyal to Stephen King's story. What I can tell you is this updated version, while having some very creepy moments, isn't nearly as good as the 1979 version. A big reason for that is that the original was made by Tobe Hooper, the man who directed films like "Poltergeist" and the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". This new version was directed by the man who gave us the Christian Slater actionfest "Hard Rain". Who do you think has the better take on horror? The other problems lie in some of the casting, and the pace of the story. I have the feeling this tried to be more faithful to the book. That could be the problem. While it may play out great on paper, some of the ideas, and the overabundance of characters, throws of the pace of a film. When Carl Gottlieb adapted Peter Benchley's "Jaws" for the screen, he said any subplots that didn't have anything to do with the shark had to go. Therefore any references to the mafia, and the police chief's wife having an affair with the marine biologist, were eliminated. Now what do you think? Would leaving those things in have made "Jaws" a better movie? I think not. That's what, I think, the filmmakers needed to do here. Trim the fat.

There are just WAY too many characters and subplots that have NOTHING to do with vampires. A father having an incestuous relationship with his daughter, a character being hinted at as being gay for no other reason than for the movie to have its' token gay character, an sex related extortion scam. I mean, what is this? Was the screenwriter hard up or something? Scrap this garbage and bring on the bloodsuckers! Secondly, some of the casting was WAY off. Rob Lowe may be a fine actor, but he's way too pretty to believe as a fearless vampire hunter. Donald Sutherland lays a thick slab of ham on his performance. He even treats us to a few shots of his tongue sticking out of his mouth in (supposed) menacing glee. Yay. With his curly white hair, and flowing beard, he looks too grandfatherly to be scary. In fact, when he gets beaten up late in the movie, all I could hear in my head was Denis Leary in the movie "The Ref" saying, "Great. I just beat up Santa Claus." Rutger Hauer has proven he can second-to-none creepy in movies like "The Hitcher". But here he just sleepwalks through his role as master vampire Barlow, and lets the special effects do the talking.

Now this is not to say the movie doesn't have it's moments. There ARE a few choice kills here. Soft flesh + spinning circular saw = OUCH! There is also a neck breaking here by Rutger Hauer that is one for the books. YOU GO BOY! There are also enough chilling moments and fine performances to sustain, say, a 90 minute movie. But a 4 hour mini-series should have more....forgive me...bite. For me the images of a young vampire boy floating in a swirling fog outside his brothers window, smiling eerily and scraping his nails on the glass (from the 1979 version) is STILL the stuff of nightmares. That may be the greatest problem with this new version. No one in the movie seems SCARED by what is going on! They are puzzled, angry, and horny to be sure. But NO ONE is scared of the vampires! Well if they aren't scared, how could we be?

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)

Surprisingly good family fun.

[8/10 · 27 March 2004]

When it comes to deciding what movies to see, critics are the last ones you should listen too. Why? Because they are all so concerned about the construction of a film, that they no longer know how to have fun with them. This is especially true when it comes to family movies. Not every movie can be The Lion King or Finding Nemo. Nor should they be expected to be. Family movies should be one thing, and one thing alone...fun. Scooby Doo 2 delivers this and then some. I thought the first film was barely mediocre, so I had very low expectations walking in to this one. I went only because my children loved the original and were excited to see this one, and I wanted to see them have a good time. What I didn't expect was to actually like the movie myself. The sequel far outdoes the original. There are several reasons for this. First off, the cast has become comfortable with their roles. In the first movie, only Matthew Lillard appeared to be having any fun, and his dead-on performance as Shaggy proved it. Here all the remaining cast has lightened up and joined in. So the performances are good all around. Secondly, the special effects are much improved. Scooby blends in more seamlessly even though you know he's CGI. There is an incredible shot of a ghostly pirate ship emerging from behind the buildings of the dowtown city that is amazing, and very reminicent of the Stay-Puft marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. Third, as a fan of the cartoons growing up, this one looks more like true Scooby Doo. In the first movie, the monsters were not very interesting. But here, to see so many of the classic animated monsters brought to life, was a thrill. Critics have made the complaint that it's too "cartoonish". Um, hello? It's based on a cartoon! What were you expecting? The movie is also very funny, although it does rely on fart jokes one too many times. Plus anyone over the age of 5 will figure out the villian's secret identity 10 minutes into the movie. But all in all, this is exciting family fun. Family movies exist soley for families to have a good time at the movies. This is definately a good time for kids of all ages. *** out of ****.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

YES! Better than the original!

[10/10 · 20 March 2004]

Now let's get one thing clear right off the bat...I LOVE GEORGE ROMERO'S ORIGINAL MOVIE!!!! It is one of THE classics of horror. BUT....the remake surpasses it! Some have written that the movie makes no social statements. WHAT? Okay, the original made digs at consumerism by equating the zombies with mindless shoppers. However this one has a more profound subtext for a few of the characters. One of the survivors is pregnant. So the question is raised, as it is by many people in the real world, "How can I bring a child into a world that's so screwed up?". The characters here also deal with an issue that the survivors in the original did not...what happened to their loved ones? In Romero's movie, NOT ONCE do the characters ever wonder about the fate of their friends and families. That issue is at the forefront of the new version. So to those that say there is no human drama here....what movie were you watching? But all that is incidental, what everyone wants to see this movie for is the zombies. Let me say to the purists out there....shuffling zombies ARE NOT SCARY!!!!! You can simply run, or in fact walk, right past them. Try that in the new movie. These flesh craving monsters will run your ass down, and be snacking on your vital organs before you can say "undead". Now THAT'S scary! The cast is excellent. Ving Rhames is the man, and owns every time he appears onscreen. Sarah Polley is a hottie, and maintains a cool head throughout. Jake Weber is very identifiable as the nice guy "everyman". You really care about these characters, and hope to see them survive. There is also great humor here. While on the roof of the shopping mall, our heroes communicate through large, handwritten signs with the owner of the gunshop across the street, who has retreated to his roof. There is a great scene where the on the roof of the mall, with binoculars, pick out zombies that resemble celebrities, and then have the gun shop owner blow them away. Also watch for the shop owner and Ving Rhames using their message boards back and forth to play chess. There are many nods to the original here, but they are very subtle. Watch for the heroes of Romero's version in cameo's. My favorite homage is right at the beginning of the movie. As Ana is driving down the road, we are treated to a high ariel shot looking down at her car on the highway. A helicopter flies in and out of frame. It is the same helicopted used by the characters in the original movie to escape the zombies that have overrun the city. So in the end, a great movie. Great tension. Great scares. Great humor. Great gore. A great treat for all horror fans.

The Lion King 1½ (2004 Video)

Another gem in the Lion King crown

[9/10 · 15 February 2004]

The Lion King series is easily the crowning achievement in Disney animation. The original Lion King is the greatest masterpiece in cel animation. Lion King II:Simba's Pride is the BY FAR the best direct-to-video sequel that Disney, or any other studio, has made for an animated feature. It deserved a theatrical release. The same can be said for this movie. It has the original cast, songs by Elton John, a hilarious story, exciting action, and touching character moments. Everything you've come to expect from this series. Not so much a new story, but filler and extended background on Timon and Pumbaa, and their place in this story. What impressed me the most, was the care taken in the animation. All to often, Disney shorts on the animation quality of their video and television efforts. But here, they seamlessly blend new animation with footage from the original film. The scenes never seem out of place. Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella are in full swing as Timon and Pumbaa. Matthew Broderick, Robert Guillame, and Moira Kelly reprise their roles as Simba, Rafiki, and Nala, respectively. We even get a return visit by Whoopi Goldberg and Cheech Marin as the hyenas.There are MANY big laughs in this movie. So if you love Lion King, you need this movie. The story is just not complete without it.

Miracle (2004)

The greatest sports movie EVER!!!!

[10/10 · 1 February 2004]

At a glance this may seem like your typical David vs. Goliath sports story. While that is the theme, the movie is anything but typical. The true story of the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team, 'Miracle' is for anyone with a sense of national pride. Kurt Russell is legendary coach Herb Brooks, who defied all logic at the time to create the greatest hockey team in history. And I do mean team. Never ONCE does this movie fall upon the cliche of the final heroic moment by one player that secures victory. No, this movie is about team, about family. Early on Brooks asks his players "Who are you? Who do you play for?" Each player answers with his name, and whatever team he had playing for up to that point. Brooks never lets on that this is not the answer he's looking for. Only later, after a humiliating defeat, does Brooks push his team to physical exhaustion in a quest for his answer. Finally, he gets it. "Who do you play for?" "I play for the United States Of America." It's then the player realize that this is not about the individual. It's about one team, one nation. Now I'm probably being biased here, but Kurt Russell is outstanding as Herb Brooks. (Kurt Russell is my favorite actor) Brooks, cut from the 1960 Olympic hockey team one week before the games, was a no-nonsense coach. "I'll be your coach, but I won't be your friend", he tells the team on the first day. His drive brought out the best in his players. Whether through exertion, intimidation, an unshakabe 'anything is possible' attitude, Brooks was a force to be reckoned with. The hockey scenes, strangely enough don't come off as revolutionary. In this day of digital technology you might expect sweeping camera movements or Matrix-like shots to put an additional "Ohhh" factor into it. Instead, the scenes have a 'you are there' kind of feel to it. Why would this be? I think it's because what those men achieved in the Lake Placid games of 1980 was so incredible, that the filmmakers didn't need any fancy tricks to improve on it. Now I saw this film at a sneak preview that was undoubtedly filled with hockey fanatics. But I can't remember a time when I was with an audience that as so into a movie. During the game scenes, the applause was thunderous (and no, it was not applause from the theater sound system). At the end, after the victory, all I could hear was the sniffs of people crying. And when the credits rolled, accompanied by cast pictures saying where each member of the team is today, and Aerosmith's "Dream On" playing, the applause was thunderous again. A great movie to see with a crowd. Hell, a great movie anyway.

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004 Video)

A very worthy entry

[21 January 2004]

I have been a huge Tremors fan ever since the movie first hit theaters. While the majority of people discovered the original gem on video, I have been a fan since day one. But I don't fault video. It is video that has made this franchise thrive in a way that it never could have as a series of theatrical films. In the theater you would've gotten more of the same, but with a bigger budget, possibly different filmmakers, and a great loss of originality. But with the modest budget allowed by video, you keep the original creators who probably do not command a huge salary, therefore you have gotten a series of films treated with a great deal of TLC. Also by not having a huge budget, the filmmakers are forced to use their creativity in their storytelling rather than let their production values tell the story for them. (Are you listening George Lucas?) Now as for the previous films, I've already mentioned how I regard the original. Tremors 2 is probably the best direct to video sequel ever made. It showed the filmmakers intentions on giving you what you paid to see, plus things you didn't expect at all. Tremors 3 was only a disappointment in that they seemed to lose track of humor and character, and relied too heavily on CG effects. (Lucas Syndrome) Still Tremors 3 was fun, inventive, and exciting. Now we have Tremors 4, and I have to admit I was very skeptical. Right now Tremors the tv series airs on SciFi channel, and while it remains fun, it suffers due to having to shorten it's stories to 45 minutes. So with that going on I thought cranking out another video sequel might end up fouling the nest. NOT SO! Tremors 4 is not only a total surprise, but it redeems the missteps of number 3. Two of the three biggest redeeming qualities are a return to character driven story, and the use of puppets and animatronics in favor of CG heavy effects. Let's face it, the puppets look more real. The third biggest plus to this film is making it a prequel. The filmmakers had run the course of the Graboids life except for showing them at their birth stage. And what better way to show that than to show how they were first discovered over 100 years ago. It's like reinventing the creatures and the franchise in one swoop. Bravo Tremors team! Now what can I say about Michael Gross? Most people thought the Tremors series would be nothing without Kevin Bacon. At least Tremors 2 had the other leading actor, Fred Ward. For the first 2 films, Michael's character Burt, had been a supporting character. But even so, I think he's been most peoples favorite from the get go. Burt's over the top preparedness always had everyone cheering. Will anyone ever forget the first time they saw the gun wall in Burt's basement in the first film? I know I won't. But here, Michael is playing Burt great grandfather Hiram Gummer. And he couldn't be more different from Burt. A pampered aristocrat, Hiram has never even handled a gun. But Michael plays him with good cheer and throughout the course of the movie you see him gradually become the precursor the government hating soldier of fortune we will know as Burt. So in the end, great action, great characters, great story, great effects!. Bring on Tremors 5!!!!!!!

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

A VAST improvement over Reloaded.

[7 November 2003]

I have never been a HUGE fan of this series. I was not blown away by the original Matrix like most. Bullet time wasn't all that impressive, and I've never been a fan of Hong Kong style action movies. Plus it starred Keanu Reeves. How good could it actually be? But I still enjoyed it in an MTV-influenced kind of way. Now being the movie fan I am, I went to see Reloaded when it came out. When it was over I wanted my money back. Never in my life have I experienced such a overblown, self-important, mumbo jumbo spewing piece of dreck in my life. It does rate as one of the worst movies I've seen in recent years. Sorry fanboy geeks, cool fx do not a movie make. In fact some of the fx were pretty bad. What's funny is the big chase scene they claimed was going to revolutionize movies, was topped twice this year. (T3 and Bad Boys 2. But then NO chase scenes will ever top final chase in The Road Warrior) But again, being a movie fan, I had to find out how it all ends. I went in with zero expectations, and ended up having a lot of fun. Well, after the first half hour anyway. The battle of Zion is one of the great action specatcles of the last 10 years. It is so 'in-your-face' that you feel like you're in the middle of it. It is worth the price of admission alone for the chance of seeing that on the big screen. The chase through the mechanical tunnels with the hovercraft and sentinels is dizzyingly exciting. The ships can twist any which way, and they took my stomach with them. Fun times. And while it utilized too much of it's trademark slo-mo, the final fight between Neo and Smith is the epic brawl the series needed. I mean these are two gods in this world. The fight couldn't be confined to groundlocked round kicks. They fly around, duking it out all over the city (ala Superman 2). Nice visuals with the lightning. Plus the story moved a lot faster versus Reloaded. Sur the first half hour or so dragged while they mopped up the afterbirth of Reloaded. But once it got moving, it was "Get out of the way! Coming through! Lady with a baby!" fast. It may not wrap everything up at the end, but how could it? It's too lucrative of a franchise. If the current group involved in making this series decides to not make anymore, at least the studio still has a viable franchise to squeeze a few more dollars out of, and hire new blood to take over. So if you want your audio/visual senses overloaded, check out the movie. It's definately going to be demo material when it hits DVD.

The Rundown (2003)

Now THIS is how you do an action movie.

[8/10 · 22 September 2003]

What ever became of the action movie? Here we are, in the age of CGI, wire-fu, slow motion, Hong Kong style CRAP!!! Say what you will, but people like John Woo, and movies like The Matrix, have destroyed the great American action movie. Instead of hard hitting action, we have made to endure ENDLESS slow motion, and laws-of-physics-defying martial arts. They turned the action film into a ballet, and I'm supposed to be impressed? Please. Give me Die Hard over The Matrix any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. Now is The Rundown of the same caliber as Die Hard? Hardly. But as an action movie, it stands head and shoulders above the other movies I mentioned. THIS is an action movie. It's pure 100%, in your face, adrenaline. AND it has actual stuntwork, instead of CG trickery. It makes a difference, and it shows. But another thing this movie has going for it over the Matrix crowd is that it is FUN! The jokes actually work, and work well in the context of the story. The movie never takes itself too seriously. It never tries to be more than what it is, so it doesn't come off as pretentious. (Are you hearing this Wachowski Brothers? Okay, I'm done Matrix bashing.) It's tone is perfect all the way through. Another surprise is actual chemistry between the actors. The Rock has proven to me that he is movie star material. Anyone who has ever watched wrestling knows that the man has charisma to burn, but he has actual acting chops. With just 2 movies, he has shown more action hero potential than say, Steven Seagal or Jean Claude Van Damme, have shown their entire careers. Arnold Schwarzenneger is in the movie for about 2 seconds and tells Rock "Have Fun". Much has been said that this is Ah-nold's passing of the torch. Rock is indeed a worthy successor. Trust me. If he picks the right projects, he will be one of THE top box office stars in the world in just a few years' time. As for the rest of the cast, no one really stretches. Seann William Scott and Christopher Walken basically play the same characters you've seen them play before. But that is not a bad thing. Playing these types is what made them popular. BUT what keeps it fresh is the obvious fun they are having. They're not just cashing a paycheck. They know Rock's the star. So they go with it, give it their all, and have a blast. It's that energy that comes through in the movie. Peter Berg last directed the underrated comedy Very Bad Things. I have to give him a lot of credit. I didn't think he'd pull of such great action sequences. Mr. Berg, welcome to the big time. SO in the end what you have is a great cast, great if un-original story, great laughs GREAT laughs, and....FIRST CLASS, GUNS BLAZING, FISTS FLYING, STUFF GETTIN' BLOWED UP REAL GOOD ACTION!!!!!!

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Yes naysayers, it IS better than T2!!!

[9/10 · 3 July 2003]

They said it couldn't be done. No James Cameron. No Linda Hamilton. No Edward Furlong. Arnold well past his prime, both physically, and as a box-office powerhouse. All the early buzz indicated a disaster. But I knew, I felt it in my bones, that this film would be great. Why? Because too many people said it couldn't be done. It's always the way it works. When hype builds a movie up, and everyone is expecting too much (ala Matrix Reloaded), everyone is bound for a letdown. When all hope seems lost, and everyone's expectations are at their lowest, are we then surprised. So thank you all you T3 bashers, you have made me look like prophet! Terminator 3 is not only the best movie so far this summer, it stands head and shoulders above Terminator 2! It actually benefits from Cameron, Hamilton, and Furlong being absent. Camerson has become a Titanic-hugging hacked that peaked years ago. Terminator 1, Aliens, and The Abyss are all masterpieces. He's been on a downhill slide ever since. Sorry Motion Picture Academy, but Titanic sucked the big one. Someone tell me what Linda Hamilton has done besides the Terminator films that is worth watching......I'm waiting.....Thought so. She may have morphed from a whiny waitress, to a female Rambo, but there was nothing else for that character to do. Besides, for all her toughness in T2, she was a much more interesting character in the original. Finally, don't get me started on Edward Furlong. In T2, he was a whiny little bitch that I wished would get killed. He tried to come across as tough, but Furlong is such a bad actor, that he was laughable. T2 also relied too heavily on it's "ooh" and "aahh" fx. Yes they were spectacular and innovative, but it was too cool to be threatening. Now this is not to say that I didn't like T2. I did. Just not nearly as much as the first. Now comes T3 and the series has been given an incredible kick start. Kudos to the director, Jonathan Mostow. It is my opinion that Mr. Mostow is one of the hottest directors working today. His previous films, Breakdown and U-571, both breathed new life into their respective genres, and T3 is no exception. Mostow does not attempt to be Cameron, and the movie is all the better for it. Mostow brings his own style to the table, and the results are spectacular. The cinematography, editing, and pacing are all top notch. And the action sequences? Incredible! There is a vehicle chase at the beginning of this movie (I hesitate to say "car chase" because cars don't really factor into it, unless they are getting demolished) that is awe inspiring. This is what the chase in Matrix Reloaded WANTED to be. It ranks as one of the best chase scenes in movie history. Right up there with The French Connection and The Road Warrior. There is also a brawl between the T-101 and T-X in a public restroom that goes all out. Great stuff. Now what would this movie be without characters? Nick Stahl is PERFECT as John Connor. Now a tortured soul, too torn up by the past to be hopeful of the future, Stahl let's it all hang out. He let's you feel everything Connor does. Hoping for the best, but all the while you feel that fate is going to catch up with you sooner or later. Claire Danes, who I have never been a big fan of, also shines. She is in full Linda Hamilton mode, but better. She is a caring person, but proves that she's tough as nails when the chips are down. Bravo, Ms. Danes. Arnold. What can I say about the man? He may have been away from the character for 10 years, but you'd never know it. Arnold is the Terminator. Now doubts about it. Welcome back Mr. Schwarzenegger, you've been gone too long. Now as for Arnold's nemesis, we have Kristanna Loken as the T-X. Quite simply she, with the exception of Mostow, had the most work cut out for her in this movie. Everyone know what to expect from Arnold. But it is a rule of action movies that they are only as good as their villian. Robert Patrick had the benefit of brand-new CG technology to back him up. While his performance was good, (Especially how he NEVER blinks his eyes while firing a gun. I'd like to see you try that. If you've never noticed, watch T2 and check it out) as I said before, the effects made him more cool than threatening. Now we have Ms. Loken. People scoffed at the idea of a female Terminator to begin with. SO the deck was really stacked against her. Well have no fear, the T-X is here, and she is as bad-ass as they come. Not only can she go toe-to-toe with Arnie, not only can she morph like the T-1000, but she has more than a few tricks up her sleeve. She can reprogram machines, manufature weapons from her arm, and remote control vehicles to really give you a run for your money. She is also one of the most INCREDIBLY beautiul women you will ever see. That adds to her manace, because she has the power of a woman's seductivness on her side, and believe me she uses it. Her beaufiul, icy stare is at once mesmerizing, and terrifying when you realize what is behind those eyes. Way to go Kristanna. Everyone gives their all. The director, actors, and the FX department. But unlike T2, they don't overuse the CG effects. They utilize many styles. GC, miniature work, makeup fx, mechanical effects, and good old-fashioned stunt work. As I said earlier, the chase scene is incredible. Even more so when you realize how much of it was done for real. Simply spectacular. What this movie also has, unlike T2, is the tension of the original film. In T2, you simply dont care about the people. They are only backdrop to the action and fx. Not so here. The makers realized that the characters needed to be as flushed out as the action. That brings the tension level up ten fold. Just like the original. So is it as good as the original? No. But then it couldn't be. So it doesn't try to be. BUT it is a damn great movie, and a big improvement over T2. The best praise I can give it is....BRING ON TERMINATOR 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starwoids (2001)

This is a great, great movie

[16 January 2003]

I had heard about this movie not too long after Episode I was released in theaters. I was never able to see it until it arrived on video. It was more than worth the wait. I consider myself a Starwoid. I waited in line for tickets to Episode I. Although I waited in line for only 6 hours. But this movie absolutely captures the atmosphere of what it was like to wait in line. You looked around at the line, and saw people that you would probably have nothing to do with in any other aspect of life. But they were there in line with you, waiting with the same anticipation and excitement. For that day, they were your friends. You identified with them in a way that you cannot identify with anyone else. No matter where you came from, you had a passion for Star Wars, and you were going to get tickets to the first show no matter what. In Starwoids, someone make reference to this event as their version of Woodstock. That very sentiment was uttered by someone waiting in line with me. Nothing could be truer. In a way, waiting in line was more fun than seeing Episode I itself. Everyone was in full fanboy mode. Everything that day was Star Wars. I waited in line at a theater that houses 30 screens. As you can imagine, it's a pretty big building. No one was allowed to wait before 8am. The entrance was blocked off by police. When the barricade was cleared, the race was on. People hiding out in a nearby field raced for the building. The parking lot turned into a raceway. People were jumping out of moving cars to be first in line. By the time tickets went on sale later that day, the line had more than wrapped around the building. Literally thousands of people had shown up. It's that spirit of excitement and togetherness that Starwoids captures. If you are a Star Wars fan, you see so much of yourself in the people featured in the movie. If you didn't have the honor of waiting in line (and yes, it was an honor) this is as close as you can get to experiencing what it was like. Save for the births of my children, it was the best time of my life. So see Starwoids, and get a taste of what it was like to be there.