keeponwithbrian Reviews

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (2003–2020)

Giving of itself or just self serving?

[3/10 · 4 May 2008]

I occasionally see some of this show because my wife watches it sometimes. I try to enjoy it for it's basic idea which is helping a needy family, but several factors get in the way for me. Every episode follows the same format where many parts seem totally scripted (which they are) and tears flow seemingly on cue. The attempt to manipulate the viewer with a mixture of emotional breakdowns and sad music is a real turn off for me. The fact that everyone who donates something to the house, be it Sears or whoever, has to plug themselves for being generous is also annoying. Probably the biggest problem I have with it all is that what must be huge amounts of money and a small army of workers are combined to build an amazingly over the top home for a single family. Now I know that this amount of money is nothing but a drop in the bucket for Disney/ABC but how much more could be done for more people with the amount they are putting on one house? Instead of focusing on one family and getting them all to cry during the episode why not help 10 families and show highlights? Isn't life difficult enough for the average person? Why do I need help finding things to feel sad about, why not show something truly inspiring without being manipulative? I know what is being done for these families is good, but they are also being used for ratings. You can't tell me they aren't being coached sometimes on the crying. I guess when I see these people moving into a home that most hard working people in the U.S. could not afford for their children it really bothers me. I can't help but think of what could really be done with a small portion of Disney's money. Instead of giving each member of the family a flat screen TV and or personal shower that tells you the water temperature and shoots out of the ceiling why not help more people afford food, clothes, education and medical insurance? I know so we can be entertained and have a good cry. In terms of money, I feel the same about Oprah. I don't think anyone can actually conceive the amount of money she possesses. Yes her recent reality show did good things, but when she gave $30,000 to each losing "contestant" I'm sitting here thinking...that's a years salary for many, many people...if they're lucky. Don't get me started on game shows. So I realize that Extreme Makeover Home Edition is "doing good", but forgive me if I see it as more self serving than giving of itself. Is there anyone out there that feels similar?

Saturday Night Live: The Best of Will Ferrell (2002 TV Special)

Owww, my back...get the hell off me!

[21 August 2004]

It's true that Will Ferrell's contributions to SNL can't be summarized on one DVD, especially not one running a little over an hour (one episode of SNL is 90 minutes), but that's not to say that the material here isn't hilarious. The problem with these collections is that fans have their favorites and almost always a few of them are missing and that's definitely the case here. In fact, some of the particular recurring sketches like "Jeopardy" & "Inside the Actor's Studio" could've chosen better examples than what ended up here for those. Again, what is here is funny and the extras are nice too. Here are the sketches in order that make up the main feature (the sketches are pretty complete except for where I list them as "snips":

Marty & Bobby Culp: Drug awareness assembly VH1 Behind the Music: Blue Oyster Cult (with Christopher Walken)"More Cowbell, baby!" - A personal favorite! Dissing your dog training video Spartan Cheerleaders Chess Team tournament Robert Goulet: Coconut Banger's Ball Snips - Will in thong at business meeting/Mini Cell Phone at new wave store/Rachel Dratch gives birth to Will Jeopardy: Burt Reynolds, Sean Connery, French Stewart Inside the Actors Studio: Charles Nelson Riley (Alec Baldwin)

The Devil teaches Garth Brooks a song Snips: George W. Bush/Janet Reno boxing Guliani/Clinton, Monica, & Saddam on the phone Space the Infinite Frontier with Harry Caray (& Jeff Goldblum)

Hot Tub Luvas (with Drew Barrymore) Roxbury Guys (with Jim Carrey) Snips: Good Morning Latte/Dog Show Nude guy poses for Art Class (with Lucy Lawless) Family yelling at dinner (with Sarah Michelle Gellar) Jacob Silj: Voice Modulation (on Weekend Update)

Extra Features:

Will Ferrell's audition for SNL as Harry Caray Unaired Dress Rehearsal sketch: Prospector in the Army

Will's Conan appearance in black underwear (plugging Roxbury)

Will's Conan appearance as Goulet

Outtakes: Hot Tub Luvas (with Winona Ryder), Goulet as Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Sketch (with Seinfeld), Voice Modulation on Weekend Update, George W Bush & George Bush Sr. (Dana Carvey), Neil Diamond on Weekend Update, Fight in club (with Ellen Degeneres), Tap dance (with Katie Holmes), and Mini computer email at New Wave shop (with Pierce Brosnan)

As you can see, the disc is above average in content and as far as these collections go, this one's up there. None of these collections will be perfect because the focus is on stars who have done a slew of hilarious sketches and many of them will be left out. Personally, I was disappointed to not see the VH1 Behind the Music on Neil Diamond...priceless. I agree with a previous reviewer that said Will needs something like a three disc set to even scratch the surface of his hilarious work on SNL, but this is better than nothing and probably as good as it will get unless SNL one day sees Season set releases. So I'd say start digging up your dubbed from TV SNL marathon VHS tapes, unless you have none, then by all means pick this up!

The Six Thousand Dollar Nigger (1978)

Super Sucks & not in a good way.

[28 November 2003]

Don't bother seeking out Super Soul Brother, it Super Sucks! On the back of the box it says "In the spirit of The Devil's Son in Law...", which means it's supposed to be like "Petey Wheatstraw: the Devil's Son in Law" - well, it's not. PW was hilarious and starred Rudy Ray Moore as the title character. Actually Wildman Steve who stars in SSB is in PW for one scene as a nightclub owner talking about how patrons "whipe their sh*tty ass". The problem is, Wildman Steve isn't funny and lacks much personality. He's no Rudy Ray and as a matter of fact, you can hear him using Rudy Ray's lines in Super Soul Brother to no effect. Wildman Steve shouldn't take all the blame for this mess. It's filmed & edited badly and the acting is awful, which I would've accepted if there was some funny dialogue. I have to say, if Rudy Ray was in the lead, the film might've been saved. Bottom Line: Super Soul Brother just isn't that good or exciting. Even if you're a fan of the Dolemite & Petey Wheatstraw films. It doesn't help that Wildman Steve doesn't have much presence or funny jokes.

One question: If he's supposed to be the strongest man in the world why does he lift safes and huge rocks with moderate difficulty? Shouldn't he be able to sling those things around. The one part I found funny.

Black Shampoo (1976)

Nobody messes with my hair salon!

[28 November 2003]

Right before director Greydon Clark did "Satan's Cheerleaders", he made this 1976 violent blaxploitation cheese ball about a salon owner/gigolo, Mr. Johnathan (John Daniels, who looks like a smaller, african american Lou Ferrigno) getting revenge on the white mobsters who kidnap his secretary/girlfriend, beat up his gay hairdressers and trash his salon. This has plenty of cheezy acting, especially from the stereotypical gay hairdressers. The film is definitely not boring, except for some romantic 70s montages in the middle. There's plenty of sex, nudity, and violence resulting in a conclusion that involves chainsaw mutilations and a pool cue impaling! It shouldn't dramatically disappoint fans of the genre, but don't expect laughs like the Dolemite films. After you see it once, you probably won't come back to it. Its good for a cheap rental on bad 70s night. Black Shampoo goes mostly for a serious tone, although it has problems staying there. How serious can you take an angry hairdresser?

Friday the 13th: The New Blood (1988)

Jason's getting tired. (contains spoilers!)

[8 September 2003]

Following Friday the 13th part 6: Jason Lives...Part 7: The New Blood picks up with that big loveable hockey masked psycho still chained to a big rock at the bottom of Crystal Lake. He might have stayed down there too if it weren't for Tina the telekenetic waking him up unintentionally. You see she was forced to go back to Crystal Lake by her greedy therapist because years earlier she kind of made her Dad fall off a dock and drown in the lake after he hit her mom. Tina is kind of like a more well adjusted Carrie who can move things with her mind. Her therapist is a weasely little jerk who wants to use Tina for his own personal and professional gain so he has her and her mom come to Crystal Lake to conjure up emotions of her dad and make things fly around the room. Anyway, Tina accidentally revives Jason with the original intent of reviving her dad. So Jason collects himself, checks his mask, pulls the seaweed out of his ears, and with spinal cord visible emerges from the water and starts rubbing out the dorky & horny teens who were dumb enough to camp at Crystal lake. This is kind of a lame sequel considering the version thats available has most of the gore cut out. It also doesn't help that Jason just seems to be going through the motions...his kills are some of the most uninspired in the series. At one point he just throws a girl out a window...that's it! Another time he goes up to a guy and wacks him in the face with his trusty machete, but his head doesn't fly off. He even drags a girl under the lake...and drowns her. To his credit though, Jason does cram a party favor into someone's eye and punches a guy through the back following through the chest, so there's that. Then of course theres that priceless scene where Jason finds a girl hiding in a sleeping bag and swings her into a nearby tree...once. He ends up taking the bodies and decorating the forest with them. This is just weak for Jason. I think they were trying to save money with this one. Its still a decent entry, but it suffers greatly from edits and lack of inspiration. Jason is unmasked at great lengths in the conclusion, but that kind of ruins the mystery of what's behind that old busted ass goalie mask you know? All this said, I'd rather see him in Crystal Lake than outer space any day! Also I know its stupid to bring logic into these films, but seriously: How many murders at Crystal Lake does it take for people to stop camping there?

Trivia - *This is Stuntman/Actor Kane Hodder's first of four appearances as Jason Vorhees and he does a classic job.

Crucible of Horror (1971)

Alfred the butler is from hell!

[6 September 2003]

Not to be confused with the 1972 horror film about wax museums called Crucible of Terror; This is Crucible of Horror (1970) - British title: The Corpse. The film stars Michael Gough (Alfred from the Batman films) as Walter Eastwood - a wealthy, cruel & sadistic husband and father. Yvonne Mitchell plays Edith, the poor unfortunate woman who's basically lost her soul being married to Walter. Their children are Jane (Sharon Gurney) and Rupert (played by Gough's real life son, Simon). Walter consistently abuses Jane and praises Rupert. In one frightening scene, Walter beats Jane with a reed for stealing money from a friend of his. Rupert is the only one with a reasonably normal relationship with Walter - and why shouldn't he be? Walter puts his son on a pedestal and abuses his wife and daughter mentally and physically. The point of the film is that Edith and Jane reach their breaking point and decide to end their abuse by putting an end to Walter. So they poison him and make it look like a suicide. Then they have to worry about keeping it from Rupert. Things don't go exactly as planned. I won't dare ruin the outcome of this suspenseful british classic. If your a fan of the best Hammer films and horror of the late 60s and 70s, I highly recommend seeking Crucible of Horror out. There is something about this film, the music, the cinematography, etc., that creates a chilling atmosphere. Turn the lights out when you watch this. You'll never see Alfred the butler in the same way again!

Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze (1975)

Doc Savage: Man of Cheese

[31 August 2003]

This movie is so cheesy and uninteresting, it must've been made for the kiddies. I gave up on the plot early on, but I can tell you it has to do with green animated snakes that can be blown away by using a common electrical fan. I think indians play a role too, but... This 1975 cheeseball doesn't even provide good cheese, its just lame-o from the get go. There is a scene where Doc Savage fights the big villain and they stop at certain points in the fight and text on screen tells you what style of fighting they're using (i.e. sumo, karate, etc.). I sort of laughed at this. I started reading during the movie so I might've missed a few funny parts. Another thing is Doc Savage (played by Ron Ely - Tarzan from the 60s) is supposed to be a big hero and he really isn't that impressive. Why would he need the "fabulous five": a group of characters from different walks of life who are the "top of their fields"? Doc Savage doesn't fight very well either. Also there is one scene where he reaches into a plaster wall to retrieve a bullet. He rips his shirt sleeve because he had to use that much muscle to get it. What kind of hero is that?

This is still available on VHS and there was supposed to be a sequel but I don't think it happened. Wonder why. Its going for Batman 1966 humor but doesn't make it - it gets close on occasion. Doc Savage is pretty lame and highly cheesy, but the jokes don't work most of the time and the guy with the pig named Habius Corpus is just weird. I rented it, I suggest you do too, if you have to see it.

The Master of Disguise (2002)

Disguised as a funny movie, don't be fooled!

[22 February 2003]

I was forcing myself to laugh through "Master of Disguise", but then I'm not a little kid who'll laugh at anything. I love "dumb funny" movies, but this is just dumb. I'm a fan of Carvey's SNL work, which is what lead me to rent this (luckily it was an earned free rental!) and give it benefit of the doubt. The movie lasts a total of 1 hour and 20 minutes, which is why I actually made it through. The film is slow and unfunny in the beginning, but I thought it would pick up when Carvey started doing characters/disguises...it didn't. Its sad when the running fart joke is funnier than Dana Carvey. The film is a HappyMadsion production, which means Sandler was involved, but it didn't help. Sandler was also involved in Hot Chick, so what. Dana Carvey and the guy who wrote Deuce Bigalow wrote Master of Disguise. If you want to laugh, rent Deuce Bigalow. If you want to entertain the small kids in your family, rent Master of Disguise. Carvey is funny and a skilled impersonator, but in the right context. Master of Disguise never finds that context. Maybe the movie was meant only for small kids, like Pokemon and anything with Frankie Muniz in it. If thats the case, I feel dumb for even reviewing it. I'm not the audience. The problem is Master of Disguise is Dana Carvey and he's never done little kid movies before so why now? If you must see this for yourself, please rent it. Don't go spend $17 on a DVD expecting SNL humor, theres none of it here.

National Security (2003)

Funny parts eclipsed by racist dialouge

[3 February 2003]

In Martin Lawrence's latest "comedy" he plays a cop for the fourth time. I don't have a problem with that. The other three cop roles worked out pretty good (Bad Boys, Blue Streak, Big Momma). What I did have a problem with is that Martin's character makes racist comments all the way through the movie ("Even the light is white", "I'm against interracial relationships, when the man is white.", "He's surrounded by 4 white men, he's terrified.", etc., etc.) and when Martin isn't bashing white people he's blaming his misfortune and everthing else on the fact that he's black ("DWB = Driving while black", "Why, cause I'm black?"). If the film concentrated less on the race issue and more on being a comedy it would have succeeded. The problem is it ends up alienating its audience. Honestly, by the time Martin's character said the line about interracial relationships, the packed house in the theatre I was in was dead silent. Don't get me wrong, there are some really funny parts in the movie, but they can't save the film. I was really hoping this would be Martin's comeback "funny" movie after the flops "Whats the Worst that could Happen?" and "Black Knight", but now these seem a lot better in comparison to "National Security". I don't feel I'm exaggerating either, watch this film for yourself and I think you'll agree that it differs from all other Martin Lawrence films in that it relies on racism for it's humor and repeats itself to the point of exhaustion. I'm a big Martin fan, so this was a disappointment to me. The next day I rented his 2002 live stand up video "Runteldat" and that I can recommend because its very funny and he covers a wide range of topics. He makes only a few references to race, but imagine if those references were stretched out to an hour and a half...then you'd have "National Security". But even when Martin makes jokes about different races in his stand-up comedy, theres always a point and many times its understandable, at least laughable. In "National Security", his character's every line is a racial comment without reason, almost just to say it. Lawrence is funny as hell and too talented for this routine, tired crap. Looking forward to "Blue Streak 2" and "Bad Boys 2", and the return of the funny Martin movies. For now, I consider "Runteldat" his comeback and his greatest performance since Big Momma, so go check it out and wait to rent "National Security" at your cheapest video outlet.