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Akiosan
Reviews
Final Fantasy VI (1994)
UGH! THE MELODRAMA!
Even though I do admit, though FF6 is better than most Final Fantasy games (which is kinda like chossing from various snakebites), it still is not that good of a game. Why doesn't Square do more Chrono games or Seiken Densetsu games, or hey, even remake LiveALive and Rudra no Hihou? Make a game by professionals instead of coming up with amateurish, melodramatic FF crap.
Sure, FF6 is supost to be a tragedy, but it bombs. The characters act way too melodramatic that it is so hard to show any pithos towards them one bit. It just drove me nuts how the Final Fantasy games try too hard to be emotional, but fail badly.
Get yourself out of the FF web and play some actual worthwhile RPGS. Hey, even Dragon Quest is nowhere nearly as repetitive as FF and that game (Dragon Quest) started the line of RPGs!
Queer as Folk (1999)
British more believable than America.
Down in Brasil, they aired the Portuguese dubbed US version of this show, and I hated it (and yes, I am male and attracted to guys). I just thought it was ugly, stereotypical and just a downright humorless gloom fest.
However, my friends showed me the UK version. I was hesitant at first, but I gave it a chanse. In fact, I love the UK version way much better than the USA version. Good acting, actual fleshed out characters, and some humor thrown in here and there (unlike the other one). Yeah, even thouhg some of the gay men here party and are sexually aroused, but this time they are more portrayed as humans and not stereotypes (and yes, in the UK, those are ACTUAL gay people, from what I heard).
Only if they air the show on Brasil TV and play it in Portuguese even.
Svarte pantere (1992)
Ah Ha! The REAL truth of Animal Rights activism!!!
I love this movie so much! "Rebels With a Cause" (or Norway "Svart Pantere") is film that actually tells us the truth about the difference between Animal Wellfare and Animal Rights, and what a clear big line it draws too! The Animal Liberationists are portrayed as being vandelous, self-righteous and they treat humans far worse than animals. Then, some police and the victim's families try to stop the Animal liberationists.
I think if they release this film in paces other than Scandenavia or Brasil, it would be one to share with everyone. It is quite an elightening experience indeed.
The Animals Film (1981)
Just as bad as PeTA's attempt on compairing Lab and Farm Animals to Holocaust victims!
One day, back at High School, on an excange trip, some vegan Animal Rights hippies were showing us some films in class, trying to brainwash us, the students, and the teachers in to becoming vegans and animal rights activist.
Sure, I love animals and I support Animal Well Fare, but Animal Rights is not a glamorous nor good thing. The people whom did this documentary portray scientists whom research and test on rodents to find cures for diseases or try new medicines (To help BOTH people and animals) as being psychotic and taking pleasure out of killing, which is NOT true most times! In fact, I think the Animal Rights organizations are more cruel than the scientists and farmers.
Besides, most people in the world do not take pleasure out of killing animals and letting them rot. Most who do, are either poachers or psycho/sociopaths.
Valkyrie Profile (1999)
Excellent game, but NOT without its faults!
"Valkyrie Profile" is quite a well-writen and addictive game that is excellent relief from the plague of the repetitive "Final Fantasy" series or the akward "Megami Tensei" games (though Persona subseries was great).
It follows the tail of a Valkyrie on a quest to retrive souls of the recently departed and help them live in the afterlife of Valhallah. As she does this at commands of Frey, Freya and Odin, she suddenly meets a familiar faces of the past and must learn more about it.
The gameplay is quite fun too. Kinda like a combination of the "Rockman" series meets "Super Mario RPG", plus, really vivid graphics and character designs.
But the flaw of the game lies within the voice acting (of both English and Japanese version). The Japanese version, almost everyone sounds really too squeaky or high pitched. Though they use a few TV, as well as seiyuu voice actors and actresses, some stood out more than others, but TURN DOWN THE VOICE VOLUME! Unless you want to hear people talking in pseudo-baratone or pseudo-helium pitched voices. Though the English version is a little bit of an approvement, I feel that the English voice acting is better done in scenarios than it is in the battle fields, when things get quite grating and repetitive!
But other than so-so voice acting, Valkyrie Profile is a classic that stands the test of time.
Jûbê ninpûchô (1993)
Hey, it is the porno/hentai version of "Mortal Kombat"!
Tsk tsk, what happened to you Kawajari san? You made good anime cartoons like Lensman, and now look, you are falling into the plotless unoriginal hentai phase.
Not that I hate adult only cartoons, some are actually quite funny (Nude and Nuder) or well written (Kizuna). But Jubei Ninpocho is neither. Though the animation is excellent, the plot is almost non-existant, japanese voice acting is just like ANY OTHER ANIME, and not to mention pointless shock value galore (how much red ink did they waste with this movie? It could have all been used to grade school test papers!)
If you want good hentai, watch Kizuna or the Korean sex comedy, Nude and Nuder.
The Powerpuff Girls (1998)
*yawns* I tire of this show ALREADY!
This is what happens when a B-Movie ruins a decent animated TV show.
At first in 1998 (1999 in Brasil), "The Powerpuff Girls" were indeed fresh, clever and funny. It starts with the Professer Utoniam whom creates the "perfect" ingridients for making "perfect" little girls. Then, he does a mistake and accidently breaks the mysterious jar of chemical X, thus the birth of "The Powerpuff Girls". Docinho (Buttercup, personal fav), Lindinha (Bubbles, HAAAATE HER!!!) Florzinha (Blossom, the decent one) are now born to fight crime.
I liked the show then, but ever since the movie, and the lack of SMART villains, it got pretty bad. I mean come on, can they PLEASE do something else besides save Townsville? What about other parts of the world? Don't you know that brainless villains gets kinda boring after a while?
This pretty much tells you that the girls have done everything imaginable for an episode, and i think it's time to finally kill this show for good before it becomes yet another "Road Runner and Wail E. Coyote" series.
"The Powerpuff Girls" a once good show gone horribly wrong.
South Park (1997)
It was ALWAYS un-funny!
Ah South Park! My sister would always watch this show religiously and rant on how "funny" and "clever" this show was. I decided to watch "South Park" myself a few times, and man, I have to disagree sis! I have seen better satires and gross-out humor.
No, I am not a bigot against bad animation, in fact, I think the character designs are quite interesting (much better than modern day Disney crap IMO), but even interesting character designs cannot save this cartoon from being a cough and yawn fest! The humor is nothing more than stale cussing, offensiveness and flying, talking turds. Sure, I do not mind shock value here and there, but there must be a reason behind it. At least the old Looney Tunes shorts had a reason behind some of the "stereotypical" humor, but "South Park" has no real reason for shock value, hense, it is Shock Value for the hell of it, which is indeed quite boring and pointless. And sad thing is, alot of shows are starting to mimic these "South Park" qualities too, such as the recent "Simpson" episode and "The Family Guy".
If you want good satire humor, watch "Os Trapehlos" or "Monty Python". Or even yet, watch some old "Looney Tunes" shorts.
If you want good gross out variety, watch "Ren and Stimpy" (Ren y Estimpo).
If you want mind numbingly bad swill, watch "South Park" (or what I call it, "Suckage Bark").
Alexander Senki (1997)
IF anything, watch the original Cantonese version (or Portuguese dub) of "Alexander"
I have seen the Chinese(Cantonese), Japanese, Korean and Portuguese versions of "Alexander". Even though it is wonderful, I prefer the orginal cantonese and brasilian portuguese dub version. I could not help to notice in Korea and JApan, that they have edited or cut out some scenes (even though in both Korea and Japan version have nudity, there are alot other than pubic hair they cut out), while the original Hong Kong version, as well as the Portuguese dubbed version, it is totally 100% uncut! If any chance, see those versions! You will dig it, I garantee!
Lilo & Stitch (2002)
Mmmmm....I really wanted to like this film, but...
....where to start though. Lilo has an interesting concept and clever parody moments in it (such as the Japanese Monster spoofs and Pulp Fiction satire), but there were also some aspects that sort of bothered me as well....
*SPOILERS A HEAD*
First off, I hate how Nani treats her little sister! Sure she may be pretty, but she's no mother figure! She neglects Lilo in a house with the stove still on fire, so she can be with her "boyfriend" and it seems like most of the times Nani spent with Lilo was when she was stressed and beaten her. No wonder Lilo seems so messed up and hostile towards others (such as punching a girl in the face for disagreeing with her). It's actually not her fault, it's Nani's fault. She should be a better role model for Lilo. I honestly wished Stitch would have eaten that #%&%^*, but nope, instead, he save Lilo from being taken to a better home, so she could be with her sister that treats her like a punching bag.
*END SPOILERS*
Vila Sésamo (1972)
Memorias!!!
"Vila Sésamo" is a educational show for kids (and good one at that) that was made by one of the Chidren Television Workshop sponsors in Brasil after Henson's popularity with show called "Sesame Street". However, we down here added a slight twist to it, such as original muppets like Garibaldo (giant blue bird), Googoo (A total grump on the block), Roboto and Garibaldo's pink elephant friend (YES, A PINK ELEPHANT!) as well as educating kids about the natives of Latin America and our Asian counterparts whom are a big majority of Brazil as well.
It is probably one of the better show on for kids, consetering all the sellout crap that is down here hitting us like a hurricane!
Chespirito (1970)
BRING CHEVES BACK!!!
I remember back in days (when Chespirito re-aired here in the mid 1980's) when children tv was good. One the shows I remember clearly is "Chespirito".
The show is a parody-satire show on American superheroes, Horror cinema and Japanese sci-fi cinema, possibly pre-dating and inspiring such shows as "Powerpuff Girls" or "Dexter". Chespirito had quite a BIG cult following in Brasil as well as Mexico and Venezuela.
However, it has been a while since the last air date on Brasil TV and I must say three words here: BRING CHEVES BACK!!!
Jinzô ningen Hakaidâ (1995)
Honda Yasuaki is HOT HOT HOT!!!
Even though Hakaider is a decent (but sadly rather short) movie with good action scenes and imagery, the thing that shined most was Yasuaki Honda. He is quite a beautiful, as well as calm and detirmined actor (I wish to see original Japanese version. Seen only Spanish verson). I also like his costume and appearance. He looks so angelic and wicked at the same time. I only wished he had more screentime though.... ....Oh well. At least Keita Amemiya shines his stuff with intricate storytelling and lovely imagery as usual.
Sole nudo (1984)
Nice filming, SLOOOOOOOOOOW PACING!
"Sole Nudo" (Nude Sun) has nice filming scenery and an interesting premise, but the pacing is about as fast as a two toed sloth!
Plot revolves around Luca Adami whom lives in Italy and he is in financial woe. He decides to turn to his old friend De Bernardi who fled to Rio de Janeiro to escape jail and live a life of crime. He arranges to meet him in Rio, but once in Rio, De Bernardi's secretary inform him of the impossibility of the meeting. Luca arranges for a room in an inn where first he finds a brand new gun, second the waiter seems to be a wise mentor of some sort and third he receives a visitor, a girl saying she very curious about him.
Mabye if pacing were not so slow and padded out, I would have liked it more....
The Powerpuff Girls Movie (2002)
GRAAAAAH! What hapened?
Oh dear. Hanna Berbera ruined "The Powerpuff Girls" with making a hour and 1/2 movie out of a decent 30 minite series.
GOOD: Personally, I like the Portugese (Brasil) voice acting in the PPG better than I do the English version (I HATE TARA STRONG'S VOICE, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!).
BAD: Plot? What plot? Movie here tried to explain the backstory of Docinho (Buttercup, personal fav), Lindinha (Bubbles, HAAAATE HER!!!) Florzinha (Blossom, the decent one) and how they came to be, but the plot trails off WAY too much and loses itself so much. When it comes back to the plot, you start to wonder "Do I care? Does anybody else care?"
OVERALL: PPG Movie is one dissapointment on what was once a great TV series. Skip this at all costs!!!
BTW, I hope Hanna Berbera does NOT, I mean NOT make a full length movie out of "Dexter" or "Robot Johnes", or I'll get some Rio trash and dump it all over them.
Widget, the World Watcher (1990)
A GOOD enviromental show that is not from Japan or Canada.
"Widget" was one of the better enviromental shows they played down here on Rede Globo de Televisão [RGDT] that was not from Japan nor Canada. Most of the US or Latino stuff played was too preachy or it talked down to young audiences. However, Widget (US/Philipine co-production) fit neither of those stereotypes.
The plot focuses around shapeshifting alien (title character) and his race, plus, a talking brain robot and psychic kids noticing the disasters that takes place on Earth and Widget's homeworld, so they must try to enlighten the ignorant and punish the wrong-doing aliens that cannot survive on earth and pollute it with their own chemicals or introduce foreign species to interfere with Earth.
From some sources I have heard, this cartoon was made, due to the fact of the high pollution rate in the Philipines (or at least Manilla anyways), so Pinay animations and various Philipina and America companies decided to come up with this concept.
Os Trapalhões na Terra dos Monstros (1989)
Interesting and Surreal entry in "Os Trapalhões" series.
The story is somewhat interesting, if cheesy. Didi, Dedé, Mussum and Zacarias get lost in a cave on another planet, and meet some bizarre, all be lovely monsters.
Unlike the "Land of Oz" spoof the Trapalhões did, "Os Trapalhões na Terra dos Monstros" does not tend to be an environmental statement tacked out with unintentional humor being more funny than the actual humor itself. It's just traditional comedy like most their movies and tv series.
Mussim, Zacarias, R.I.P!!!
Ele, o Boto (1987)
Vera vera interesting......
"Ele, o Boto" is based on an old legend of a Water Sprite who takes on form of Amazon river dolphin. He only takes on his humanoid form when he wants a mate. However, the village men hate the water sprite and want him dead. All he wanted was some mates, due to his lonelyness....
Despite the low-budget, "Ele o Boto" is a wonderfully done and haunting movie that will captivate myth and folklore buffs or people whom are into dolphins, water-sprites or merfolk like creatures. I don't think CG and the big name companies at Hollywood or parts of Europe could not do something this interesting and effective.
Die Another Day (2002)
Quite racist.
Not only did I think "Die Another Day" was the worst Bond movie ever (James Bond was fun until 1989 IMO), but I also found it not only racist towards Koreans, but all Asians in general. It is suppose to take place in Asia, but hardly anyone is Asian, EXCEPT THE VILLAINS! It also seems to look like the director of DAD did not even cast one, NOT ONE, oriental woman in the movie too, like they did in past James Bond movies that take place in Asia. The only main female (alongside *UGH* Madonna *GAG ME*) is played by Halle Berry, whom is Mezito/Black mix, quite pretty, but CANNOT ACT! Michelle Yeoh, where are you?
Now, if DAD portrayed Arabs, Jews, Blacks or Latin Americans as the bad guys, it would not sell very well in many places in the world.
It just seems sad that Asians, alongside the homo and bi sexual community seems to be negitively portrayed in Western Cinema. Come on, it is NOT the 1930s-1940s-1950s era anymore. IT IS THE 21ST CENTURY!
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
Pleasant anime, FOR ONCE! *SOME SPOILERS!!!*
Sen (as it is known in Brasil) is quite a pleasant anime with good animation, characters and morals.
I think we all know what the plot is about here. Chihiro and her parents move to a new town, find mysterious tunnel, strange things start to happen once they enter. Though that is the basic plot, the story runs deeper than you think. At first, Chihiro/Sen is bigoted by the creatures of the new world, because she is human and they are not human (possibly an anti-racism moral), but then, she gains their respect after solving Yuba'aba's riddle. There is also a scene where Chihiro and her boss save a old man's spirited trapped in a garbage pile, which I thought was rather poignant.
I love most of Miyazaki's stuff (except Momonoke Hime, wich IMO, is mediocre at best), and Sen did not dissapoint me one bit. And the good thing is.......here in Brasil, WE GOT THE UN-DISNEYFIED VERISON!
Labyrinth (1986)
Really pales in comparisent of "The Dark Crystal" and "The Storyteller".
After watching "The Dark Crystal" and "The Storyteller" mini sereis, I was quite amazed at the breathtaking plots and all the amazing uber-realistic creatures in these life-like fantasy worlds. Then I heard my friends talk about "Labyrinth" and how wonderful it was. So one day, I decided to rent it, and boy, was it a big mistake.
Hmmmmmmm.....where to start........*MINOR SPOILERS*
First off, the plot and constant songs in the movie felt like I was watching a live action adaption of a Disney animated movie. Too many songs, too many bad songs!!!
Second, the sub-plots with the bratty heroine and the goblin king were just muddling. Does she have a crush on him or what? Plus, isn't she a bit too young for him? Does anyone care about this?
But atleast the brat's baby brother was cute though! Why she would wish a horrable thing upon him, I dunno....
Third, the low-rent muppets. The Dark Crystal and The Storyteller had at least believable muppets you can feel close to. The ones in "Labyrinth" just made me want to feel far away from them. Hoggle is a total crabby whiner, Ludo is a loudmouth, the Goblins are more stupid than vile (the Skeksis could have them for dinner in a minute) and don't you dare get me started on the talking inanimate objects! The only muppets I liked in the film were the ones that could take themselves apart, the sheepdog and the junk lady that throw garbage at Miss Snobby (she deserves it!).
Ugh, I think I'll watch The Dark Crystal, now that I mention it.
Kyôryû sentai Jûrenjâ (1992)
Way better than Americanise crap!
The origin of the sentai shows goes way back over to 1976, and were hit in Asia. The Sentai shows that the power rangers ripped off in 1993 is known as jyuranger sentai which debut in Japan and Asia several year earlier. The difference between Sentai and power rangers is that at least sentai is watchable and fun. The characters in the Sentai series weren't silly teenagers, but rather, heroes from unknown civilization who could transform themselves into Dinosaurs or mechanizm when necessary. The show was also geared for big kid audience as well.
In sumer of 1993(?), a kid's television producer from America decided to bring the Sentai show to the Americas, al beit with awful, silly teenagers, rather than people of mysterous origin. The power rangers are completely ridiculous, (A couple of them can't even fight, they just do these silly gymnastics!) as opposed to the Jyurangers who are true martial artists. Plus, they gave Boi a sex change (and he is hot!).
If you have to see japonese sentai/superhero shows, see original japonese version and not america versions.
P.S. Boi and Dan are HOOOOOOOOOT! And Mei is way morep pretier and more detirmened than Kim.
Koneko monogatari (1986)
So adorable!
I think "Adventure of Chatran" is one of the most adorable films about animals ever made, and I have to thank Hata-san for that ^_^
It is a tale of a Pug and Orange cat whom get separated from their farm and go through the Kyushu JApanese environment to try to re-unite with each other. Along the way, they meet friends, adversaries and obstacles along the way.
I first saw this movie when I was seven and I loved it. The Japanese film-makers took four years to create this film, using the best conditions for each scene and the most believable animals actions. Anyone will love the amazing scenery and appreciate the pleasant instrumental music. The narrator and his voice is hilariously used for all the characters, male and female. The animals unknowingly act out a very cute adventure story that shows the lengths two friends will go for each other.
Romancing SaGa 3 (1995)
The best in the Romancing SaGa trillogy for the Super Famicom.
Final Fantasy VI, eat your heart out and move over! Romancing SaGa 3 has taken your place in my books!
Plot: Every 300 Centuries, the Shizoku (Death Eclipse) wipes out every newborn life in the world, save for one. Will this child become a saviour or bring doomsday to the land?
Interesting plot, but there is much more to it, since it is not linear as you think, which makes it fun. No Spoilers here though.
The artwork by Mina Hwang (Tomomi Kobayashi in Japan) is quite beautiful and detailed. She is one of my favorite artists and storywritters alongside Keita Amemiya.
The soundtrack is also nicely done. Not quite as atmospheric as Rudra no Hihou's soundtrack, but nice none the less.
Romancing SaGa is a must get (or must download).
Gojira tai Hedora (1971)
Godzilla vs. Hedorah the Smog Monster is....
....quite a weird one of the Godzilla series indeed, but entertaining none the less. It supposed to be about Godzilla fighting pollution in form of living blob of junk found by a scientist (who gets sludged big time) and his hyperactive, Godzilla crazy son, Ken. But there is so much more to it as well. Who can forget disco scenes, drunk/acid trips where everyone are animals, anime sequences and split screen sequence with people protesting and baby whining (later, it turns into flashing blocks, ala. Lost in Space).
However, this Godzilla movie does have Hedorah, which is one creepy monster and it really snapped me into "Saving the Earth".