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Reviews
Star Trek: Discovery: An Obol for Charon (2019)
great moments, but needs to slow down
There's a lot happening really fast in this episode. Some great character interactions coming from the introduction of Number One, and beautiful emotional moments with Stamets, Tilly, Burnham, and Saru. It felt a lot more emotionally authentic than a lot of the previous episode, where it seemed like a lot of interactions were heightened needlessly to create drama and stakes. My main complaint, like a great deal of the previous episodes of season 2, is that everything is jam-packed with action and exposition and there is so much happening that should have been spaced out between several episodes. Still, the show has improved greatly from season 1, even if they have a ways to go. Here's hoping some of the groundwork they laid for new stories in future episodes with the plot pays off and isn't just forgotten.
Titans (2018)
unwatchable until episode four
My previous review of 2 stars was based on the first episode being possibly one of the worst episodes of television I've ever seen, but it's gotten slightly better as it's progressed.
I still hold to my previous critiques: the only character that resembles their comic counterpart in the slightest is Beast Boy, and the rest of them, other than their names, are entirely unrecognizable. It's neither a good adaptation of the comics nor a good TV show, but it's at least something I'm now able to watch to turn my brain off rather than grimacing the whole time.
Things that have improved since episode one: Dick Grayson, who has become more multidimensional and gotten some okay character development
Starfire, who has started to have a personality; the addition of Beast Boy, who is by far the best part of the show so far. What hasn't improved: this show's refusal to light any of the scenes well enough to see, which is especially frustrating during fight scenes that are supposed to look cool; the bad wigs, and the grimace-inducing overacting and brattiness of Rachel, who at least has less dialogue as the episodes go by. That part is most disappointing for me, as Raven is one of my favorite characters in DC comics and it's like they're trying to make the audience hate her. The other actors, however, are trying their best and Anna, Brenton and Ryan deliver subtlety when the directing doesn't get in their way of their talent. Mostly I'm still watching for them. I know tv adaptations have to take liberties with stories, but I'm still bummed that it seems like the showrunners didn't read the comics at all. Let's hope Rachel gets acting lessons / a better writer, and they get a bigger budget for a DP and wigs in season 2.
Teen Titans Go!: Chicken in the Cradle (2018)
absolutely wild
This show is what it is, but this is an insidiously wild episode where the premise is essentially, 'what will the censors let us get away with in a children's show'... 10/10 for bravery and imagination
Fahrenheit 451 (2018)
has no resemblance to the novel
Adapting books for television or movies often makes it impossible to put in every detail unless the book is very short, and I have no problem forgiving movies for streamlining narratives, updating the time period, cutting extra characters as long as the theme of the books is intact. This was... probably the worst book adaptation I've ever seen, and I've seen the third Narnia movie.
The whole point of the original novel is that they burn books to wipe their influence from society. In this movie, the books are simply translated into emojis, which, within the first seven minutes of the film, completely negates the central theme of the original novel.
Some other broad observations: The main character, originally a very quiet and unsure person, is depicted as a gregarious and zealous. Important supporting characters have been completely cut out, and the worst of it is, it's not even a good movie on its own. There is next to no set-up before the film starts off with characters fighting against something that wasn't even very clearly stated. The pacing is rushed and the look of the film seems more like a television episode than a movie, there's no subtlety to anything these characters do or to the world in which they inhabit. I'm giving it two stars because it's obvious the actors did what they could with this and because the beginning credits were well done.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
incredibly disappointed and will alienate a lot of star wars fans
I wanted to like this movie. I saw the first super-excited reviews on twitter and thought it was going to be great...but it completely disappointed me and a lot of other star wars fans.
Force Awakens had things in it that weren't great, but it was arguably better than the prequels and gave us some great characters, new faces, and visuals.
The worst part is that so many characters act like completely different people than they did before; Rey, Poe, and Luke especially. It was needlessly grimdark and full of death. The first movie established Rey as the main character with Poe and Finn as the other mains, but this movie acted as if Kylo Ren were the main character and not the villain. it seemed like everything the first movie established, this movie changed with no reason why. I felt especially cheated because Rey felt sidelined in a movie where she is supposed to be the hero. Backstory about the Knights of Ren and Rey's past was different from that stated in Force Awakens. The jokes were awkward and in places where they often broke dramatic tension or paused in the middle of the story, rather than being worked in organically, making the movie seem like a parody of itself. So many of the lines gave me flashbacks to some of the truly awful nonsense dialogue in the prequels, especially with Hux, and some of Rey and Luke's lines were so strange I just found myself thinking, "Did they really just say that?" The scenes between Rey and Kylo Ren were inconsistent with each character's development in the first movie, awkward, and just made Kylo look like a creep. The whole Snoke narrative was completely wasted. I find it impossible to give this movie more than a 1 rating because although a few things made me smile, i was so confused by where the film was going and how inconsistent it was that the whole experience was like watching a really, really bad fan fiction. Carrie, Daisy, Oscar, John, Mark, and the fans deserved something so much better than whatever this was
The Orville: Firestorm (2017)
the Orville's got me hooked
This was a fantastic episode; I started watching The Orville on a whim because a friend liked it and I never expected to care about the characters this much. This is a great episode, it's managed to be an action-heavy episode while never losing focus of the character at its heart, Alara, who is probably my favorite in the show. The episode also used the opportunity to use other character traits of the rest of the crew as part of the plot, which was both very clever and an excellent use of narrative. The first few episodes really fell flat for me because of the out-of-place humor, but the Orville has started learning that the situational humor of being on a Starship and the irony of sci-fi tropes creates plenty of opportunity for satire. At this point i'm actually sad this isn't some far-off corner of the Trek universe, because I'd love to see some of these characters interact with Trek ones. I've also been pleasantly surprised by the way the production quality of the show has gone up, with particular improvements in the directing and lighting, especially this episode which had a really great and atmospheric color palette compared to the rather beige first episodes. All in all, an outstanding, well-rounded episode that was balanced wonderfully between character development, action, suspense, and humor.
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
:/
I wasn't expecting much from this but i will say i'm still more disappointed than i'd hoped. The animated film is just so good, but it's like the people making the new one weren't quite sure why.
Just from a technical standpoint, the movie is really poorly made. Really, really bad pacing. Similar length of many of the scenes we got from the original but packed with three times the dialogue, which made the whole thing rushed. A complete lack of dramatic breathing room in scenes that should've had huge tension. (panning AWAY to a wide shot for intense, iconic moments where there were closeups in the original)
There were so many quick cuts and wide / medium shots it's like the director was afraid of spending too long on faces because the emotional reactions were so short and simplified. The sets all had overhead, bright lighting that took away a lot of the mystery and ambiance that the animated version had. I doubt that kids would even really be able to enjoy this more than the animated one too because the quick, rapid lines don't add anything new and are harder to pay attention to for kids.
The acting was bad all around, and even the really good actors in this had their potential wasted, so i think a good half of the blame at least falls on the script and directing.
I will say that, with some exceptions, the costume designers and production designers really went all-out on this. The first few shots in the film are incredibly beautiful. But the camera doesn't appreciate them and maintains it's wide and medium shots of everything, while they're lit with flat lighting. Frustratingly, Belle's iconic gold-yellow dress they made look like wet juicy fruit gum, even when the extras are dressed to the nines, and the beast's dramatic facial design and color patterns in the original are gone and he's just kind of a gray blob.
You might be able to enjoy the movie for its nostalgic quality or because you like some of the actors but this really doesn't show anybody's best qualities or give us a new take on the story, and it's best just to watch the original again.
Riverdale (2017)
badly handles sensitive topics
Riverdale is basically a harder-hitting Teen Wolf, imo. The biggest problem comes with the way they handle the relationship Archie has with his teacher. The writers don't seem brave enough to use the term "statutory rape" even when they are more than willing to have characters call out slut-shaming. It feels inconsistent, one minute they're trying to address important issues, the next they're making awful jokes about gay people. the thing that was a deal-breaker for me was the handling of Archie and his teacher, miss grundy, who is a good 20 years older than Archie. Although archie's dad tells him it's "not his fault" in the last few minutes of ep 4, his friends constantly tell him how much trouble he's in for being ~in a relationship~ with his teacher, rather than being horrified that their teacher is raping their 15- year-old best friend. The fact that they have archie and his teacher make out several times and have a sex scene as well in a steamy car is creepy, because they shoot these scenes like regular love scenes, with sexy music and everything. For me it's even worse because the actor is still a teenager and the actress is in her mid thirties.
Some people might be able to stomach that and watch the show fine, and might enjoy it especially if they like teen wolf and similar shows as the characters are moderately likable even if they are stereotypes, but i think a lot of other abuse survivors would find the handling of archie's rape very triggering so this is just a heads-up.
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
Excellent adaptation but could still use work
This is the kind of show where either you will love it or hate it-- for people who haven't read the books it's a rather strange story so it would make sense for a lot of people to just not understand it.
First, although i heard a few critics' reviews talk about this having a darker tone than the film, i disagree. NPH's Count Olaf is certainly a darker character and better for it, but the rest of the series so far has fallen short in that regard. I think they might have been trying to make it too "kid-friendly" in some respects, especially concerning the few but very striking moments of violence & gore in the books and has sanitized them, as well as making Olaf's henchpeople funny rather than really scary. I didn't mind the songs but i do wish the music had a less quirky tone and a more dark, ominous feel.
For season 2 i hope they make the story go even darker (visually and tonally) like it is in the books, and give the children some time to be emotional; the young actors who play the Baudelaires are adorable and by far the best moments in the show are when they have emotional interactions with each other. Sadly, there aren't enough of these and i think the filmmakers gave iconic lines from the book screen time over some of the more powerful emotional moments that are really what made the story resonate with me so much when i was a kid.
The set decoration is excellent, as are the nods to future story lines and i am pleased with the addition (or perhaps early appearance) of Jacqueline. She really shines through as a character already, as well as deeper exploration of things that were only hinted at in the books. The three Baudelaires are adorable, and they play really well off each other, even little Sunny.
Even though i have a couple problems with it tonally, they pulled off the strange quality of the books, which really aren't like anything else out there, and translated it to screen phenomenally, considering how difficult something like this is. I can only hope season 2 goes darker and deeper and lets us see the more emotional and bleak side of the story.
The OA (2016)
Really lovely but not for everyone
I loved so much about this show but many of the subjects won't appeal to everyone. It's very much an abstract art-film and people who don't like indie films or "weird" shows or movies probably won't like this. The show is very slow and deliberately paced, which is another reason people may not like it, but it does allow the audience to get to know the characters very well. It has heavy spiritual themes and poetic language and dialogue that some people will get impatient with or find confusing. i didn't really mind this, as so many shows are fast- paced and action-packed that it's nice to watch something slower for a while. It reminded me a lot of the film-making/dialogue style of Tran Ang Hung and Joon-ho Bong. I liked this show for a lot of these reasons; it felt very different to me and reminded me of Ex Machina and Room, and also had a lot of tones that Stranger Things had and visual cues (the shots of bike riding and the quarry, for instance) The show is very beautifully shot and is a visual treat to watch; the editing is superb, especially how the sound editing is woven into the visual aspects of the show. I especially liked the themes of found family, survival, and hope that are the focus of the overarching storyline. Brit Marling is fantastic in this, and she is mesmerizing to watch. My only complaint is that I wish we'd gotten to know the side characters better and that they hadn't focused more on Steve than the other four boys, as I found them to be a lot more interesting than him and really get turned off personally by characters that are bullies, even if he did have a decent character arc. It did take me about three or four episodes to really get into but after that I was completely sucked in and i'm glad i stuck around to see the whole thing.
Black Mirror: San Junipero (2016)
incredible
Black Mirror has been a great show from the start, for me it's main draw is the human stories it focuses on in the midst of some mind- blowing technological what-ifs. Although in other episodes Black Mirror has focused on the darker side of technology, this one focuses on how technology could connect people instead.
I loved this episode, and I seldom get emotional during shows or movies, but this one left me misty-eyed. Especially as a member of the LGBT community, this episode was so important personally, to see a future imagined for people like me is so rare that when it's well done it really changes you. "San Junipero" did that for me.
Gugu and Mackenzie have amazing chemistry; I'm a huge fan of their other work as well and they're definitely in top form in this episode. I never would've put them together because they seem so different but in San Junipero, they're made for each other. i'd watch 10 movies with these two as a couple.
I know a lot of people said it was slow but to me, the fact that they took their time with showing the dynamic between the two characters was so, so important and I know it was to a lot of other people as well. To the writers, actors, and those that made this episode possible, thank you.
Enterprise: A Night in Sickbay (2002)
Blech.... skip this one
Besides a few goofy episodes, I thought Enterprise was going pretty well... until this episode happened. The writing in this is awful and it escalates the sexual objectification of Jolene to the point where it's just plain ridiculous, and attempts to add in "sexual tension" between two characters that before have had an almost familial relationship. It's another example of how the show-runners seem to think that sex jokes will sell--just like that pointless scene in season 1 where they had Hoshi's shirt come off as a "joke." I knew going into Enterprise that the show-runners tried to over- sexualize T'pol to boost ratings but i'd hoped since she was done so well in so many episodes that the creepy treatment of her didn't exceed more than a few nudge-nudge comments and her impractical bodysuits. The voyeuristic way this episode is shot, too, makes you just want to cringe watching it. In conclusion: badly written, creepily directed, adds nothing to the larger story, very boring, and i feel bad for Jolene and Linda having to do this episode especially.
Enterprise: Rogue Planet (2002)
i love this (minor spoilers)
MINOR SPOILERS any episode that has the captain wanting to kiss a giant slug is a win in my book. Some good social commentary too. Yes there are plot holes; the premise for the 'rogue planet' isn't viable in the slightest but to me that doesn't really matter, it reminded me of the good old fashioned times when Kirk had to defeat a giant green space hand by insulting it. I also continue to be impressed with ENT's visuals and cgi; for something that was made in 2001 it's remarkable how well they did, the creature design on the show is really great. Also some great lines from T'pol as always. I wouldn't say it's necessarily a bad episode, it had some really fun moments that gave me a good laugh and a good message even with the badly researched premise. Still, it's silly in the way that gives you that feeling of classic Trek and i found it very enjoyable.
Ghostbusters (2016)
fun and imaginative
I read seventeen pages of reviews of this movie with whiny babies weeping over their cheeto-stained faces about how man-hating it is. If you're a rational person, there's so much to enjoy about this movie if you allow yourself to have fun and go into it without being determined to hate it beforehand. I found this movie much better than the first original Ghostbusters, it had much more action, cooler gadgets, and the characters had distinct personalities rather than all being the greasy-looking shmos from the original. (still not sure why they made bill murray look like he hadn't had a shower in weeks, but i digress) The visuals are bright and colorful, a welcome change from the monochrome baddies of most action / paranormal movies. the gadgets are cool, there's enough weirdness to make you laugh. The theater i was in were laughing at all the jokes in the movie. Yeah there's camp, but the movie is well-aware of it's goofy elements and makes the most of them. The movie works well as a fun time for most age ranges, i'm 25 but i could see how a lot of kids would really enjoy this along with their parents and older siblings (in a good way, similar to the level of humor in the originals which was a little goofy too) Kate Mckinnon was definitely the highlight of the film and what made it really stand out for me, with Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones and Melissa McCarthy each bringing their usual brand of humor to their characters. If you're a normal human being, there's plenty to like about this Ghostbusters.
The Shannara Chronicles (2016)
yikes
*general sort-of spoilers throughout* I wasn't hoping for much with this series, but I was expecting something like a teenager-filled legend of the seeker kind of thing with a bigger budget. This was just...no. I haven't read the books so I can't comment on their relation to the show. However, I can say that they weren't good at all. The first two episodes had terrible pacing; at first nothing was happening and then halfway into episode 2, 2 major characters are revealed without any breathing room or reaction time from the main characters. I'd heard the visuals were good, so i was at least looking forward to that. The location scout did a good job and the cgi artists did more or less OK with what they had (for a TV show) but the whole production design is pretty awful. I'm not sure what they're going for with the elves design-wise but there's a complete lack of any sort of motifs, color scheme, etc, that unifies them and makes them stand apart..other than a sort of vaguely modern 70's flower child look. (still not sure how elves are supposed to be different from humans, other than the really cheap-looking ears, because they never bothered to explain it)
The female characters on this show are treated without respect. We don't know much of anything about their personalities other than they are beautiful and stubborn / reckless. Amberle's characterization is horribly inconsistent, with her being confident of herself to win the Gauntlet one minute, and then two minutes later being bizarrely self-doubting around a guy who she admits to not even liking much. She's also naked, too, for some reason in the scene where she meets Wil, apparently for a cheap laugh at Wil's awkwardness. There's a horribly awkward shoehorned romance between Amberle and a douche bag boy who apparently lacks a single defining characteristic. The flirtation has no relevance to the plot or the characters development whatsoever, and it wastes her screen time.
With Eritrea, they don't say much about her other than that she's "tough," and at one point in episode two she is lashed around the neck with a whip and dragged around, for no reason whatsoever that impacts the plot. The physical brutality with which she was treated is completely brushed off and we see nothing of how this might have impacted her, which is all kinds of disturbing.
The only character with any kind of visible personality is Wil, and though he's much more endearing than the other characters have been so far, his main character trait is awkwardness and nervous quips.
The acting is awful and is most likely a result of lazy directing and bad writing, as we've seen Ivana Baquero before in Pan's Labyrinth light up the screen. I just wish these actors, the women especially, were given more to work with. Also, for a place that's supposed to be *major spoiler* post-apocalyptic Seattle, 99% of the people with speaking roles are white and even with the extras there is little diversity.
I wouldn't be so hard on this if it wasn't apparent they had both a wealth of source material and budget to make this halfway decent. Instead...yeah. The sad thing is this show isn't even fun. Wil is the only character with any sort of sense of humor and even then it's no more ambitious than the whole country-boy-is-confused routine, which, if they don't level up, is going to get really old really fast. There is nothing unique about any of the characters, plot, world-building, or concepts. It looks like a badly rendered video game.
TL;DR: this could've had potential but with episodes 1 and 2 they've just shot themselves in the foot.
I hope there's an attempt to fix at least some glaring problems in the coming season, because it could be okay if they did, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
ridiculous and a lot of fun
one of those movies that's so ridiculous that it's actually enjoyable. If you go into the film wanting to take it seriously, it's probably going to disappoint. Jupiter Ascending is one of those great "bonkers sci-fi" films that is a visually sumptuous, delightfully absurd tale. This movie hints at so many complicated backstories that we never get a chance to fully understand that it leaves me personally desperate for a sequel. Aside from beautiful costumes and Great-Gatsby reminiscent spaceships, the movie has a refreshing amount of diversity which, while far from perfect, is a nice change from the mayonnaise permeated space-cultures of many sci fis. And, honestly, it's worth it just to see Oscar-winning actor Eddie Redmayne as a sort of glittering, space-vampire voldemort... *definitely* the performance of his life.