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Reviews
Arcane: League of Legends (2021)
Everything I hate in a show, and it STILL blew me away.
Well, I have never seen anything like this. The dialogue is cliché, the characters are one-dimensional, and the plot is melodramatic - and here I am screaming for the heroes in the battle, and weeping when they're hurt.
Okay, so why is it so good?
Firstly, the visuals. Now I don't just mean it's pretty. It is pretty, but that's not what makes it special. What is special is the complexity of the animation - the unusual camera angles, the clever glitchy cuts, the battle choreography. I can safely say I have NEVER seen any animation so skillfully directed. The fight scenes are gritty, pacey, energizing and unpredictable.
The characters are wonderfully diverse looking, and the costuming is very creative. Each character has an outfit that is jaw-droppingly interesting, even for the steam-punk genre. Frankly, the art-director deserves the biggest of accolades.
The music is fantastic too, an interesting blend of hip-hop and pop which is not really my thing, but fits the world perfectly and makes the soundtrack standout among its contemporaries.
Now, given the flaws I spoke about at the beginning, how can this be a 9/10, even with great art direction?
Well, because this is really aimed at tweens, teenagers and tired adults after a long day's work, as well as maybe some people who have played the video game. Ultimately though, it's for those who are not quite in need of the same depth of character and plot as you'd find in the Sundance film festival. Yes there is "violence" and "sex" but it's all shown in a watered-down kind of way, and none of it is confronting or high-impact - If I had a 13 year old kid, I'd send them straight to Arcane, as well as anyone in need of an easy, visual treat.
Camping (2016)
Sheer brilliance, cringe comedy at it's absolute best.
Davis has been at the forefront of barely watchable comedy for over a decade.
When I say "barely watchable", I mean it in the most complimentary way possible. Camping, like Nighty Night and Davis' other work takes you through an emotional experience similar to a horror movie. You bite your lip, brace yourself for scares, and peek from under a blanket... all with a big childish grin in expectation for the slap in the face of comedy the monsters.
Vicky Pepperdine deserves a standing ovation, she's so perfectly painful to watch - each line delivered is like fingernails scraping across a blackboard. Similarly Rufus Jones somehow envelops the body of a new-age-hipster-loser-wannabe with bizarre excellence, his intonation and physical movements a constant source of belly laughs.
Not to say the rest of the ensemble isn't wonderful, in fact they all embody their cringey characters with effortless grace - the casting director deserves a medal.
Davis has brought a slightly more mature subtlety to this one than some of her previous more in your face brutal works, and if you are a sucker for punishment and love dry, pitch black humour, this is the show for you.
This Time with Alan Partridge (2019)
Beautiful and subtle. A great show that is worthy of the Partridge legacy.
People are upset that Partridge is not the exact same Partridge of the original series, but Coogan's ability to EVOLVE the character is a true reflection of his expertise and experience.
I am absolutely amazed people are getting their knickers in a knot about this one. It's suprisingly strong, quality cringe comedy. If I'm honest I was not expecting it to live up to my expectations at all, but I've been continually delighted by each absurd mishap.
Electric Dreams: Safe and Sound (2018)
A great episode ruined by the ending
I loved this one, had me hook line and sinker. We leave the show being 90% sure the "hear gel" was real. I always want a little bit of food for thought as a philosophical show ends. I want to discuss it and explore the ideas and message with friends.
The ending is perfect as Foster is guided off the stage by another smiling government stooge, she's clearly a little damaged, but brainwashed enough that its all too late. Cut to credits.
.... or not?
What follows is a 3 minute pointless scene explaining EXACTLY what we know in our hearts happened anyway. Its like they finished the shoot and then suddenly lost confidence. "We better ex
Doomsday Preppers (2011)
Looking forward to the Apocalypse.
Before we judge whether or not the people on this show are crazy, let's just remember that this show is like any other documentary, it explores a culture or a belief system completely foreign to our own.
Doomsday Preppers gives us a telescope into the lives of people who think the world's end is right round the corner, whether it be from an oil shortage, a giant earthquake, or the world spinning upside-down. While the apocalypse theories vary in their plausibility, what is certain is that these people BELIEVE it will happen very soon. And this makes for a very interesting show.
Families literally dedicate their lives to building defenses and stocking up on food supplies for when civilisation comes to an end. Whether its a legitimate fear or just a desire for a new life, you can't get past the slightly romantic notion of being the only people equipped to fighting off hordes of starving civilians with your homemade fortress. However the entire notion that you live your life to prepare for the offchance that the world ends is completely ridiculous.
These people give up the majority of their time and money to dealing with an apocalypse that almost definitely won't happen. But who are we to judge, whatever helps them sleep at night.
And examining these people makes for a very interesting show.
Drive (2011)
Trying to be something it's not - an insult to the greats.
You enter the movie, excited for 2011's attempt at 'Reservoir Dogs' or 'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'. You know it's going to be violent, but you expect that to add to the story, rather than taking away from it.
Gosling plays a jaded stuntman, with an interesting but normal enough profession, but in a day he transforms into a cold blooded psychosomatic killer for a helpless woman whom he barely knows, without any emotional distress whatsoever. Stamping people's heads in, breaking hands with hammers; Gosling spends the whole movie drenched in blood and with a singular facial expression. To say that it is unbelievable would be the understatement of the century.
The rest of the actors are dreadfully cast, Bryan Cranston plays a helpless mechanic whose only purpose is to die a gruesome death. Carey Mulligan is a helpless (and I mean really helpless) female character who waits idly for a mysterious and overtly goodlooking man to solve her problems. Albert Brooks begins to be interesting when the story tries to explain that even the upper-middle class can be gruesome. Just as I was starting to like him, he stabs a fork in one of his suboordinate's eyes and slits his throat, just to justify the line "now you have to clean up after me".
Those one-liners are great in Die Hard 4 and other jam-packed action movies where you are watching it just for the explosions, but in a psychological thriller it becomes cliché and over the top. In fact the biggest problem with this movie is it didn't manage to correctly find a place for it's violence. There is enjoyable gore for the heck of it, see 'Hobo with a shotgun' for an example, and there is well placed and clever gore which you find in some of the better Tarantino movies or 'the clockwork orange' etc. This movie is somewhere in the middle, with sickening images clearly without purple, a sad attempt at reeling in an audience who want to seem both sophisticated but are really there for the explosion.
Overall Drive is not a great movie, and it's sad attempts to look like one just make the production all the more embarrassing.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Does it's job, but lacks the attributes of the greats.
For a fair review I will disregard the original completely, and focus only on the 2004 production.
I watched this because I felt like a zombie apocalypse movie.
And that is exactly what I got. The same ageless zombie formula is used in Dawn of the Dead. A group of survivors have holed up in a mall, and desperately try to survive a onslaught of mindless undead cannibals.
My main issue with the movie was that it doesn't really offer anything new. The survivors as in all zombie movies are a politically correct group, including African Americans,a Latino, and ample spread of women. That I have no issue with, producers don't really have a choice than to provide to a broad audience. What I had an issue with was the fact that 30 seconds after meeting each character you can literally predict their chances of survival and time of death. If your watching a horror movie, the most fun thing to do is to go 'shes gonna die next', 'hes got no hope' etc but in Dawn of the Dead, the shallow formula based characters offer 0% chance of a plot twist.
The acting, its okay. I didn't think any particular performance was outstanding, many being particularly weak such as Lindy Booth, whose character loses her whole family, but within days has found herself a love interest (Kevin Zegers, also a fairly poor performance) and an incomprehensible, irrational attachment to a dog.
What brings this movie to a 6 rather than lower was the fantastic and creative friendship through whiteboard diagrams on top of the roof of the mall with Kenneth, the heroic religious policeman (who unfortunately has an unexplained background) and'Andy' the gunstore owner stranded a mile a away. I enjoyed the comedic relief, its a nice break from movies like '28 days later', where you actually need to take a minute for recovery after every scene.
Other than that the movie is completely forgettable, but your attention span will be kept, and it should sate your bloodlust for a fun (and not particularly scary) zombie apocalypse movie.
Gwoemul (2006)
Feel like a Drama/Comedy/Horror/Adventure/Cult/Apocalyptic/Action Movie? Then this is for you.
The Koreans have a history of putting a creative twist on your average plot line (My Sassy Girl, Oldboy) so that you are left stunned and smiling. Gwoelmul, or "The Host" is no exception. I was literally on the floor laughing for the whole first half, despite the on screen violence. This quality of black humor is unparalleled by most horror/comedies (Its on a Shaun of the Dead sort of level). The humor is clever and creative, nothing you would expect to see in a typical bromance comedy (Eg Pinapple Express, Wedding Crashers) and really will get you giggling. The main character follows the generic good for nothing but loving father persona, and you will love and sympathize with him from almost the very beginning.
This movie delivers everything you could possibly expect in any movie, its a real Jack of all trades in that sense, a complete mixture of genres but seems to collapse a little in quality towards the end.
If anything its worth watching purely because it offers new ideas to the horror genre (At the expense of scariness however, this is no 28 days later) Bong Joon-Ho's "The host" is really a quite good, and for the most profitable film in Korean history, its a worthy watch. Enjoy!
The Town (2010)
This is one Town you don't want to go to.
Throw in a high budget, a charming badass, an attractive girlfriend, and what do you have? A Generic Hollywood blockbuster.
Before I even get started on the script I would like to comment on the acting. Ben Affleck is completely unbelievable as a badguy. He is too middle class to act tough, incredible charming and thoughtful, to the point that you think the movie is a romance. He falls in love at first sight and sacrifices everything for this girl who he has 'traumatized' meanwhile he is more than happy to spray his submachine gun all over the town. Oh and did I mention he had childhood problems? Did I have to? The movie is so incredibly cliché that you just want to laugh out loud. Rebecca Hall played her part well, is it really that hard to stand around looking pretty and feeling vulnerable. Blake Lively was a disgrace. Despite having absolutely no character depth (admittedly not her fault) her accent was abysmal to the point of being unaudible for most of the movie. She needs to stick to Gossip Girl, where the role is incredibly easy and her looks get her through the episodes due the abundance of gawking twelve-year-olds.Jon Hamm star of Madmen is yet another completely miscast character. While I am usually impressed by his acting, he did not pull off even slightly the badass detective role.
Basically this movie was based on the premise that if enough good looking people were thrown in it would make a lot of money. The performances however were not all bad, Jeremy Renner was powerful, and once again I was impressed by his ability, which was of course proved in 'The Hurt Locker'
The script was weak and predictable, most characters had no depth (for example the other two crew members of the supposedly four man team) and frankly just boring save one or two good lines.
I wont go deep into the plot holes because im sure someone will have covered that elsewhere, but I will note briefly that there are many of them. I don't usually take such negative stances on movies but I felt that this movie is completely undeserving of its rating.